For two days I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you but how do you tell someone you haven't spoken to in over two years that their son is dead. How do I explain to you that I didn't turn around and come home when I realized he was still onboard the ship? That I created the suit for him, the suit that responded to him with a thought. If he didn't have the suit he would have been safe. That I brought him further into danger by letting him anywhere near the madman who wanted to kill half the universe.

"I don't want to go..."

Over and over he said it at the end. I could hear the fear in his voice and I couldn't do anything about it. His body was shaking in my arms as I tried to hold on to him. I couldn't speak or breath I just tried to let him know it would be okay that he wasn't alone that I was there. It was the only moment I was glad that he was with me, that he wasn't alone back on Earth at the end.

"I'm sorry"

He seemed in that minute so much younger than his seventeen years. He was all I had left after the whole fiasco two years ago. After the accords, our son was all I had left to remind me of better times...life before the Avengers when we were still a family...before the civil war that tore us apart.

Even though I know Peter loved you he stayed with me. I think he knew that I needed him even more after losing everything else. After all, we had so much in common the two of us. I still remember the day we made him a part of our family. You had been found a few months before in the ice and I had recently outed myself as Iron Man to the press. We wanted a family together and Peter became our son.

One disagreement and you forgot about us though, you had Barnes and the others that you broke out of the raft prison, you didn't need us anymore. Did you even think of him or me when you left? If it was just me I could have handled it eventually but the fact that you left Peter too, it wasn't right. He's gone now and I don't know what to do without either of you here. Even after all this time I still love you, I still want my family back.

There was only two of us left on that godforsaken planet in the end. The others Quill, Drax, Mantis, Strange, had all gone, our son was the last to fall. The mad titan got his wish and obliterated half the universe and what was left of my heart with it.

I've wondered the last two days during our rushed flight back to Earth what has happened there. I realized that I could be the last Avenger, that you, my love, could be dead, that I could have lost you in the same instant that I lost our son.

After two years I have no clue where you are or if you would have answered my call. I know your letter said you would be there if I called but I never had enough courage to do so. When I finally did there was no time left. If only I had had the chance to call you before all this had happened. Would it have made a difference in the fight? Did you survive the purge of half the population of the universe? Did any of our friends survive or is it just me left?

All I can imagine is the scenes from my nightmares. The things that were shown to me by Wanda back when we first met her. They have come to life haunting me with the destruction of all that I love. The death of the Avengers, my friends, and my family. Will I arrive on Earth to find you, my love lying broken, blaming me for your death, your shield lying broken beside you?

But no I have your shield, you left it when you disappeared with Barnes and the others. You left it, just like you left me like you left our son. I wish I had had the time to give it back to you, you should have it to keep you safe.

Nebula says we are almost to Earth. Soon we will know how many are left if any are left. I've had two days to figure out how to tell you, the man I love, that I couldn't protect our son, that I dragged him into danger, and still I don't know what to say. How to tell you that I couldn't stop Thanos in time to save him.

"I'm sorry Steve our son is dead...I'm sorry Peter that I couldn't come with you...it was my job to save you and I failed you both."

"I'm sorry."