Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, Sailor Moon or any of its characters. I wrote this fanfic for my own pleasure and purely entertainment.

What would be more painful to bear? Is it to love someone wholeheartedly and professing it earnestly at the risk of being rejected in return? Or to love someone ardently yet consoling oneself that concealing such emotion is more prudent than mending a broken heart?

'Tis better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all. – Alfred Lord Tennyson

The Secret Admirer

Part 1

"Hi! Are you getting the usual?" Makoto cheerfully asked while slightly tilting her head sideways in a glorious effort to look cute. She coupled that with a beaming smile in front of the mirror.

Yes, that's correct, she is smiling at herself in front of the mirror.

Make no mistake about it... she is talking to herself. Alone, inside her room and yep, in front of the mirror. The tall, chestnut brown haired woman was already wearing the mint green sundress she bought at the small boutique in town just a couple of days ago. She wanted to portray a mixture of coolness and sophistication as the cloth fell a couple of inches above her long shapely thighs.

Yes, her battle attire or rather... Heero-come-over-here outfit for the big event was all set and ready.

She was practicing... intensely.

Complete with all the necessary effects, acceptable body language and the proper dress code.

She was focused. Her mind has one goal.

She was practicing... very seriously.

Albeit, in a rather awkward yet somehow promising way.

'No... no... no... this is no good... I need to take the offensive...' She pondered before making another attempt.

"Hey there, Heero! Nice day, huh? Are you getting the usual?" She flimsily gestured while flashing a big grin on her lips.

'Acckkk... he'll think I'm too perky and crazy! Think, Makoto... focus! How will you get his attention? You must do it... how a true woman does it! Use your charms to the fullest!'

"Hey there... handsome... will you be getting the usual or would you rather have me?" She inquired while batting her eyelashes and striking what she thinks should be an eye-popping pose. Makoto even bit her lower lip slightly before using her tongue to lick the upper lip.

'No! No! No! He'll only think of me as a quick lay for blatantly seducing him! I... I want... something more... besides... I don't even have experience on that aspect...' She meekly mused to herself while blushing furiously.

'I need to try something else... demure... and of course... sophisticated.'

"Think demure... Makoto... demure, yeah... that's the word." She spoke out loud while softly nodding to herself.

Makoto carefully and slowly took off the black band that tied her long wavy chestnut brown hair. After letting it loose, she then repeatedly turned her head sideways to slightly ruffle its long mane. She smiled lightly while softly glancing at her reflection on the mirror.

"So... Heero, what would it be for today?" She simply asked.

'I think this is it! I nailed it! Now, I need to put everything in motion!'

Makoto Kino, age 22, was a tall young woman by normal standards. Standing at 5'10" she towered over most of the female population from her country of origin. Her wavy chestnut brown hair had long lovely locks that fall past her shoulders. She had bright emerald green eyes, fair skin and a slim if not lithe figure. She had been spotted, scouted and offered a modelling stint for a good number of occasions but always declined due to her tomboyish albeit naturally shy personality.

Sadly, Makoto was orphaned at the young, tender age of 15, losing both of her parents on a plane crash. The chestnut brown haired woman decided to voyage across the globe on a seafaring ship to overcome her loss. Eventually, she took up residence in a small town located near the beautiful yet peaceful countryside in Amiens, France. She fell in love with its lush garden of plant life and abundance of floral activity. It is there that Makoto was able to realize one of her life-long passions, becoming the sole proprietor and the establishment of her first business venture – a flower shop.

Her natural green thumb coupled with her own flair on flower arrangements immediately brought success to her newly opened business. The vast countryside was flourishing with a wide variety of floral and plant life enabling her to come up with fresh and unique concepts that brought extreme delight to her customers. Through word of mouth, neighbouring towns eventually became patrons of her flower shop and soon enough she was able to hire a part-time assistant as her business started growing.

It was one bright summer day when fate brought him to her. He was the earliest to buy flowers that one day. The young man had a dashing yet mysterious air around him. His mesh of chocolate brown hair with long unruly bangs failed to hide his pair of cool, striking cobalt blue eyes. He stood at a height slightly taller than her while his broad shoulders accentuate his slender built. His chiselled frame never denied the well toned muscles that sculpted his physically fit body. She thought he was a model or rather a celebrity as he silently entered her store and picked a variety of flowers for her to arrange into a bouquet.

"That would be 40 credits... Mister..?" Makoto said while handing him over the bouquet of flowers.

The bouquet was very well arranged, she had unknowingly included a couple of freebies to further improve the finished product. Makoto was admittedly pleased at the output and knew that this bouquet was among the very best that she had created.

She discreetly threw the question... in hopes of somehow getting his name without realizing it till later on.

"Yuy... Heero Yuy." He simply answered before giving her a couple of bills as payment for the flowers.

The young man nodded slightly at her before stepping backward and exiting her shop.

'Heero... Yuy...' She whispered inside her mind while dreamily gazing at his retreating form.

After finally snapping out of her stupor, it was only then that Makoto remembered to check his payment.

He gave her a hundred credits. She got 60 credits as a tip.

Heero's next visit came as the leaves started to fall that same year. Makoto was again surprised as he arrived just a few minutes after she opened her flower shop. He was wearing a black suit coupled with a matching plain black tie. He had a grim look in his deep blue eyes but somehow managed to curl his thin lips slightly as he handed her the flowers.

The tall young woman wasted no breath in arranging his flowers... however, there was something she felt quite interesting and somehow new. She could feel her heart thumping wildly inside her chest. The more she tried to focus on the task at hand... the more she found herself stealing glances at Heero while he studied the garden of flowers inside her shop.

Her hands shook slightly... she felt them getting sweaty even. But despite the seemingly daunting task as her emotions started running in turmoil, Makoto was able to accomplish it with the end result being even better than the first one she created for him. She realized that Heero was intently looking at the bouquet for sometime already before approaching her to pay for the flowers.

"How much would it be... Miss...?" He trailed switching his stare between her and the bouquet.

"S-still the s-same... M-mister Y-yuy... 40 credits!" She stuttered while failing badly to maintain her composure.

However... she remembered that the last time he bought flowers his change should have been 60 credits.

"B-but.. it's f-free... you forgot to get your change of 60 credits... last time..."

"No... that's your tip for giving me a very well made bouquet. Here... Miss?" Heero kindly replied as he handed her a couple of bills.

"M-Makoto... M-Makoto K-Kino. Thank you so much, sir!" She replied while bowing respectfully at him.

"Please, call me Heero." He answered before bowing slightly at her in return.

The emerald eyed young woman only realized that she was all alone in her shop after hearing the light chimes of the closing door.

He had already left.

She was again amazed upon seeing the amount of bills he paid for the flowers. Each bill was worth 100 credits.

"H-Heero..." Makoto sighed, unknowingly uttering his name in the open.

Right at that very moment... she really wanted to chase after Heero and give his appropriate change. However, she was inherently shy and did not really know how to interact with him in case she strikes up a conversation.

She was in the middle of pondering such thoughts when Makoto felt the light stinging sensation that was somehow prickling on her cheeks... they seemed to be burning a little.

'It's... hot...' The lovely florist noted with both of her palms on top of her cheeks.

The tall young woman realized that she was blushing for the first time in her life.

Makoto knew she was attractive but never flaunted it due to her shy yet tomboyish nature. She had heard a few of her male customers threw a pick up line directed at her every now and then but never paid any attention to it. She had never experienced any semblance of a relationship with the opposite sex before despite being a self-confessed hopeless romantic.

That very same night... the very same day Heero Yuy visited her flower shop for the second time, Makoto Kino lay restlessly on top of her bed. She was not sure if an hour or two had already passed since she first attempted to sleep. The only thing Makoto knew was the fact that she had been continuously turning and shifting from various positions while shutting her eyes tightly in a vain attempt to get some sort of sleep.

Every time she closes her eyes however, Makoto would always be brought back to the moment when the brown haired boy requested she call him by his first name.

"Please call me, Heero." He answered while bowing slightly at her.

The scene played endlessly in her mind, always repeating to that particular instant like a broken record. Part of her was elated... for some strange reason she had always looked forward to his next visit. Another part of her felt light... the simple opportunity to see him again was enough to really make her day. While a good part of her was curious and hopeful... curious to the fact that she was immensely interested with the cobalt eyed young man. She was hopeful that they would get the chance to talk more next time around. But Makoto was certain about one thing, a big part of her wanted something greater. However, she could not yet put a handle on what it truly was.

'I'm so silly... I am getting all giddy and sleepless at the thought of his next visit when I barely even know anything about him.' She sighed while pondering at her dilemma.

'I really wish I could get to know more of him. Probably talk to him more next time he visits... but good heavens... I could hardly speak or even utter a word in front of him! Acckkkhhh!' Her mind screamed in frustration.

'Well... I guess, I'm really attracted to him... Makoto... you're already 22 and it's just now that you are beginning to take notice of things such as relationships and romance...' She sighed while smiling glumly at herself.

"Hmmm... there's nothing bad about having a crush... or as embarrassing as it is to admit... a puppy love." The chestnut brown haired young woman spoke out loud while shaking her head sideways in disbelief.

'It is frustrating though... not knowing when you'll next visit the shop. Would it take another season before you buy flowers again?' Makoto contemplated before the next set of questions presented themselves.

'How will I prepare? How could I initiate some small talk? What should be the best questions I should ask? Oh... wait... this bad...' Her thoughts trailed as she realized something.

"I'm... like... obsessing at him..." She uttered before covering her face with both palms in utter embarrassment.

Yet Makoto's resolve, thoughts and emotions did not waver the next opportune moment that Heero Yuy visited her flower shop.

It was winter.

Sure enough... another season of Makoto wallowing at the opportune moment on when her mystery dream guy would pay another visit. It was only midway through the coldest climate of the year. Yet she had been both restless and excited... she was getting impatient!

But Makoto was definitely going to seize the next chance!

'I am going to leave an impression! You will remember me, Heero Yuy!' She boldly contemplated while fixing herself in front of the mirror.

'I am going to imprint myself into your thoughts! You won't get enough of me that you'll keep coming back to know me, Heero Yuy!' Makoto uttered within her psyche as she nodded confidently to herself.

'I am going to embed a memory inside your head! I shall entrench myself inside your...' She gamely pondered before pausing midway after realizing something.

'My... attraction to him is beyond control... it is even bordering between reason and obsession. How in the world would I want him to have me inside his heart unless...'

The chestnut brown haired young woman smiled timidly while shaking her head sideways.

'I'm crazy about him... despite the fact I barely know anything about him!'

She drew a deep breath before tying her long hair into a ponytail and leaving her small room to go down and open her flower shop. She noticed that snow was lightly falling outside yet the pathways were still visible due to the clearing operations being conducted by their community during daybreak. Prior to opening her store, she would always require around half an hour to prepare the stall. Sensing there was no time to waste – Makoto immediately busied herself into arranging the flowers and other workings of her shop. The lovely florist became so engrossed with the preparations that she failed to notice an hour had already passed since coming down from her room earlier.

'This is better... just to take my mind off of him...'

Makoto was wearing a dark blue winter coat and a simple white tee paired with faded denims and green sneakers. The emerald eyed beauty was just removing her light yellow pruning gloves when she heard the soft ringing sounds of the wind chimes attached to the doors of her shop.

'First customer of the day... when will I ever see you again, Heero...' She sighed inwardly while turning to greet the client.

"Good morning, Makoto." A deep cool voice spoke... freezing her instantly on the spot.

'D-don't t-tell me... it's... oh my... good graces...' She breathlessly uttered as her emerald green irises met his blue cobalt ones.

'Heero!'

"M-mister Y-Yuy! G-good m-m-morning! W-what a-a p-p-pleasant s-surprise!" Makoto badly stuttered, failing miserably to hide her surprise, excitement and personal emotions.

Once again, her heart was thumping wildly inside her chest. The chestnut brown haired young lady felt the familiar burning and stinging sensation emanating from her cheeks.

He wore a sleek black formal attire same as the last time he visited. It was paired with a matching tie and black leather shoes. His broad chest, tall stature, well hanged shoulders and nice posture makes him appear flawless on how he carries himself. Even though his chocolate brown hair seemed like a mess as his bangs subtly covered his piercing eyes, Makoto was sure of one thing... Heero Yuy was certainly a sight to behold.

For her... he was like a Greek god of legend, or a popular actor, or a highly paid male model... He was a man's man, he was an alpha... she was certain of it...

"Makoto?" Heero curiously inquired, purging the kind florist from her thoughts.

'Ehhh?! Aww... darn!' The lovely young woman realized, pursuing her thin lips quickly after learning a few moments ago that it was fully agape.

She was unsure on the number of times Heero had repeatedly called her name. But she was definitely embarrassed... it didn't require any effort to determine that she was obviously gawking at him.

"Err... ahh... ahhmm... s-sorry, Mister Yuy! J-just had a lot of things inside my head!" She excused, hoping he would ignore her palpably embarrassing look and would probably conclude that she was just an airhead.

"Are you, ok... Makoto?" He coolly asked though his face barely registered any concern, she felt the sincerity from the timber of his voice.

"Y-yes... I was... thinking... about..."

'Think Makoto! Think! This is your opportunity to strike that conversation!'

'Wait a second... he remembers my NAME! He STILL remembers my NAME!'

'But now is not the time to get all giddy about that! Makoto... think of SOMETHING!'

Her mind scrambled for every bit of detail or opening that she could use as an excuse to jumpstart a small talk with Heero till Makoto remembered something.

'The... the... YES! The cocoa I was heating!'

He nodded slightly at her before she asked that one question that would forever change everything for them.

'Stop stuttering... calm down, girl... now... relax and use this opening.'

"It sure is cold outside, with all the snow falling and the winter season in full swing. Let me get you some hot coco, Mr. Yuy. Just... wait for a while!" The chestnut haired young lady earnestly yet boldly offered while smiling as modestly as she could.

'Please... please... please...' Makoto whispered to herself as she hurried to get him a hot cup of cocoa.

The chestnut haired young woman quickly prepared a pair of cups and saucers before filling a matching porcelain pitcher full of hot cocoa. She settled the items on a tray along with a few pieces of paper towels before hurrying back to her shop.

She discreetly drew a long sigh of relief upon seeing that her dream guy was still inside her flower stall. However, as Makoto carefully studied his features, she noticed that his piercing blue eyes seemed to hide not just that deep sense of mystery but silently held a grim look as he checked at her flowers.

'I think this is my CHANCE! Go Makoto! YOU... CAN... DO... THIS!' Makoto determinedly decided while pouring cocoa into one of the cups.

"Here you go, Mr. Yuy!" She respectfully addressed while offering him a cup of hot cocoa on top of a saucer.

He gently grunted before replying, "Heero... please, call me... Heero."

"Ahh... errr... is... it really ok, Mr. Yuy? You're one of my best patrons here... I really don't want to push my luck." She shyly responded, blushing mildly upon hearing his remark.

"I... insist, Makoto... Or would you rather I call you... Ms. Kino?"

'No! I prefer you call me... honey!' She bashfully thought before berating herself.

'Agghhh... the jingles I'm feeling from this heart of mine... no! You will call me...'

"Makoto... please, call me Makoto... Heero." She answered to which Heero nodded in understanding.

'Ok... now, I need to start the conversation. I need to know him... it's hard to have a crush on the person only to know later on that he's boring or I don't know... find out that he has different taste.'

"You seem quite focused... while looking at the flowers. Seen anything that you like already? Just let me know what you prefer and I'll make one fine bouquet." Makoto gamely inquired.

"I... I am still undecided on what to get..." He trailed before sipping his hot cocoa.

"This is good... thank you, Makoto." Heero sincerely remarked after tasting his drink.

"Y-you're w-welcome, H-Heero." She responded while feeling her ears getting all warm and toasty.

"Oh... by the way... not really prying or anything but I just noticed that your visits here are far in between. Do you have any relatives or family around here?" Makoto innocently asked, trying her best not to sound too meddling.

Heero took a glance at her and smiled very slightly before taking another sip at his cocoa.

"I'm just visiting someone important to me."

The brown haired young man politely answered while looking at her intently.

"I... I see..." Makoto trailed, feeling a lump forming somewhere inside her throat.

'Does... that mean... Heero's already spoken for?' She wondered, while feeling an unexplainable dread gripping her heart.

"What are your recommendations, Makoto?" The brown haired young man asked in return, shifting the topic to his obvious reason for visiting her shop.

"Well... I'd say... red roses or pink lilies or purple orchids... if you're... giving it to someone you love." The tall emerald eyed beauty forlornly replied while once again feeling the growing lump within her throat.

'Darn... I'm even helping him score high points for that very important person...'

She saw him twitch his lips ever so slightly before shaking his head sideways.

"I said someone important... not someone I love." He cordially said to her.

'Ohhhh...' Makoto sighed inwardly, secretly relieved and greatly pleased at Heero's answer.

'I STILL HAVE A CHANCE! MAKOTO... THIS GUY IS MEANT FOR YOU!' She confidently mused while smiling impishly at the young man before him.

"Well... white daisies or blue hydrangeas or orange gerberas are good selections... purple irises are also another option." Makoto thoughtfully supplied.

She saw Heero gave it some thought before deciding to go with the white daisies.

Makoto smiled gently at the young man's choice and was about to stand and fix his bouquet when he unexpectedly stopped her.

"Let's finish the hot coco first before you work on the bouquet. You prepared it really well... I appreciate you sharing the cup with me, Makoto, even if you barely know me."

She felt her heart wanting to leap out from her rib cage with his simple compliment. It truly meant a lot to Makoto... hearing him say something to her like that out of the blue. She quickly studied him if he was just simply trying to be kind to her or possibly just wanting to continue their small talk or even better... he was somehow interested on her.

Yet as much as she tried, Heero Yuy was a very enigmatic young man. His deep blue irises were full of mysteries and he barely talks... he was straightforward with their conversation. Every now and then he would grunt or nod as a means of acknowledgement on a statement he was in agreement of. But yet he only shares a few words on topics that he seemed not interested or not familiar with.

"Well... hope you don't mind me asking or prying once more... but I did notice you seem quite serious or have this gloomy air around you. Are you ok? Are you feeling fine?"

It was what she wanted to ask but instead she decided to settle for a different approach since they were barely close enough with each other to discuss such a topic.

"You seem tired Heero, probably from the trip?" She lightly inquired.

"I... just had a lot of things in my mind. But where I came from is a bit far from here."

"I see. Where are you from if you don't mind me asking?"

"I am from the L1 Colonies, Makoto. My work however allows me to travel places." He replied before finishing the contents of his hot coco.

'I am dead curious! What do you do for a living? Could we start a family with your earnings?' Her mind frantically screamed in excitement before Makoto chastised herself.

'He looks well off... but down girl... down girl... for all of his looks... you barely know a thing about him.' Makoto calmed herself as she decided to push her next question.

"Wow... your work allows you to travel? I envy you, before settling here, I travelled a lot too."

"It has its perks... but I'd rather stay in the office since doing field work means there's something wrong." Heero carefully yet vaguely explained.

'I am getting even more... curious... with that kind of answer... just be conversational about it... there's nothing wrong to ask. He'll probably deflect the question if he doesn't like it. But I need to try... if I want to know him.' Her mind reasoned, emboldening Makoto to inquire even further.

"Well, if you travel a lot and do field work, you're probably an Engineer or Architect or a Business Executive. Regardless, travelling because of work seems really nice... you could mix business with pleasure."

"Hmm... Makoto... I... actually am from a different line of work. But thank you for sharing your thoughts." Heero cordially responded, wittily deflecting her inquiry.

However... as a woman, the emerald eyed beauty felt it. She had somehow strayed into a forbidden territory.

'I need to direct the conversation to another heading... please, please, PLEASE don't make me lose this opportunity!'

"S-so... how long will you be staying here?" Makoto clumsily yet hastily followed up, all she wanted was to keep the conversation going.

"Three days... perhaps."

"I see. Have you visited the town during your previous visits? The restaurants offer home cooked specialties. The bread, cheese and wine are truly something the people here are proud of."

"Not yet... I mostly do business matters when I'm here. But what you have said is duly noted. Maybe... if it's fine with you... you could accompany me some time." Heero kindly answered with his cobalt blue orbs staring intently at her.

The chestnut brown haired beauty thought she had hit the jackpot after hearing his response. She wanted to squeal in delight... triumphantly shout at her opportunity... however... her intrinsic shyness quickly took hold and overwhelmed her.

Makoto felt the heat rushing towards and blanketing the entireness of her face. Her ears felt hot and prickly... she was furiously blushing in front of him!

Her heart... was throbbing madly... pounding wildly in her chest. She had to get out of such a bind!

"W-W-Well... l-let me just finish your bouquet so you could be up and running in no time! I hope I didn't bore you during your stay here." She responded at him while standing up and moving to prepare his flowers.

"No, but I certainly appreciate getting the chance to talk with you... and more importantly getting to know you, Makoto. Again, the hot cocoa was really good. Thank you so much." Heero coolly replied before bowing slightly at her.

Makoto immediately felt something warm inside her stir pleasantly, obviously satisfied from every word of gratitude that he so sincerely spoke.

'My... my... my... I don't mind having you here every day, Heero Yuy.' Her thoughts mumbled in hushed delight.

She was calming down... she was extremely satisfied with the day's events.

Again, he nodded slightly at her... just that subtle acknowledgement she's become comfortably with over the course of their conversation.

She smiled back... trying hard yet failing badly at concealing her growing fondness on the young man before her.

Author's Notes:

Hello to you, the reader! I belong to the Gundam Wing fanfic crossover writers and my main motivation is pairing Heero with various favourite female anime characters. Alternate pairings inspired me to write fanfiction after getting the chance to read a good number of stories that showcase this feature.

It's been more than 2 years since my last upload. Please do forgive me if my writing is rusty. I have 3 completed stories so far, the first 1 is lengthy and what I consider a labour of love while the other 2 are one-shots. I still have 2 ongoing series... both in limbo, sadly. Not exactly ideal or encouraging stats if my story completion rate would be taken into consideration on this new venture, right? But to appease the reader, I am near actual completion of this entire mini-series. Yes, I'm looking into 3 or 4 chapters only for the completion of this story.

So for this mini-series, I aim to answer this question: Is it truly better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Makoto Kino or Sailor Jupiter is my favourite among the Sailor Senshi. Actually it was a close tie with Setsuna Meioh or Sailor Pluto... but a very good friend here already has a manuscript featuring those two so I'll just leave it at that. =)

Thank you so much for reading the story and please don't forget to leave a comment on what you think! – EZ23