Connor hated himself.

There was no denying it and he wouldn't even try to deny it if you paid him a million dollars. There were only three words he would use to describe himself: selfish, disappointing, and dangerous.

Connor knew he would eventually hurt Zoe. It terrified him whenever his anger spiked. He was her big brother. He had to protect her from himself.

This is what Connor told himself as a painfully familiar feeling swirled around in his gut. His urge to protect his little sister was way too much to handle when half of him screamed to get to her when something was wrong and the other half screamed that he would only make it worse. He rolled on to his side and squeezed his eyes shut. He curled in on himself and pressed his face into a pillow. Eventually, he gave in. It was 5:00 in the morning. It wouldn't hurt to check on Zoe if she was sleeping right?

Well that didn't make me sound like a creepy stalker. Connor thought to himself.

Connor threw the pillow aside and rolled off his bed. The sooner he checked on Zoe to be sure she was okay the sooner he could go back to not sleeping. Throwing on a hoodie, Connor made his way down the hall. He stopped in front of Zoe's door. His eyes fell on the fist-sized dents in the wood. He shook his head. He couldn't deal with those memories this early in the morning. The teen forced himself to grip the door knob and turn it slowly. Cracking the door just enough to see Zoe's chest rising and falling, he peaked in.

Good. She's here and she's not dead.

Connor made a move to leave just as a pained hiccup left Zoe's lips. Connor stopped dead in his tracks. He fully opened the door to see Zoe's tear stained face. She was having a nightmare. There was no way Connor could leave now. Zoe needed her big brother. He walked over, looking like he was going to pass out, and sat on the other side of her bed.

To say he was hesitant was an understatement. When was the last time he had actually, properly, comforted Zoe? Okay, first he had to wake her up right? He reached out to shake her awake but thought against it. Waking up to her psychopath brother shaking her would just scare Zoe more. He also didn't trust himself enough to touch her so instead he got over her but not right in her face. His heart broke a little. Scratch that, it shattered into FREAKING PIECES. She looked terrible. Hair everywhere, lips quivering violently, breaths coming out in small sobs, eyes practically drowning in tears. He silently wondered if this is what she had looked like whenever they had a fight behind closed doors.

"Zoe…" He spoke in a quiet voice but not exactly a whisper.

She stirred a little. Her eyes opened a crack but she couldn't focus on things yet.

"Are you okay?" Connor asked as gently as he could.

He knew that was a stupid question, no one in this house had been okay in years, but he still had to ask didn't he? Zoe's eyes fluttered open and turned wide once she saw him. At first, Connor thought she was going to scream at him to get away from her but his assumption was immediately proved wrong when she broke into a smile and threw her arms around his neck.

"CONNOR!" She shouted, burying her head in the crook of his neck and breaking into tears.

Connor. Was. FROZEN.

His mind raced so fast he was sure his eyes were spinning around in their sockets like golf balls.

WTF?!

Why is this happening?!

Why is she hugging me!?

Please help!

His heart beat so loud and fast that Zoe could feel it too. She only tightened her grip on him.

"You're okay.." Zoe breathed.

She sounded so… relieved. Him being okay had somehow lifted a weight off of his little sisters shoulders. Small tears started to form in Connor's eyes. His arms itched to wrap around his little Zoe, to hold her in a gentil grasp that would just magically wash away all the bad things that had happened. For the first time in years, Connor allowed himself to hug Zoe. He laid his hands across her back, letting his broad shoulders curl around her seemingly tiny body, and resting his chin on top of her head. It wasn't a protective hug. It was too soft and hesitant to be protective but it was a hug.

"Y-yeah." Connor squeaked.

He silently cursed himself for stuttering. He was supposed to be the strong one right now.

"I'm… I'm here."

Neither of them knew how long they had been hugging but they didn't care. This one little moment allowed them to forget everything that had happened between the two of them and they were determined to make it last forever.

"Connor." Zoe spoke, not lifting her head.

"Yes?" Connor responded.

"Promise you'll never leave me."

"... I promise."

A/N: Go here to watch the animatic I made for this AU /0U1_fQg3brQ