Chapter 1

Blank, lifeless eyes stared back into her own.

She could feel the sharp edge of the sword against the skin of her neck and the trickle of warm blood crawling down the side of her cheek, but the idea of an impending strike that would end her life seemed inconsequential. All she could think about was the blood leaking slowly from the gaping wound, the muscle and sinew that once held flesh together now nothing more than a tangled vine of screaming red. Bile rose to the back of her throat, her stomach churned, her skin ached and twitched as her muscles trembled uncontrollably.

Akko's eyes flew open.

With a gasp, she lurched upright in bed, letting the covers tumble down her torso to gather in a pile at her waist. Her t-shirt clung to her body, damp with sweat, arms coated in a sheen of tiny droplets that permeated her burning skin in what felt like a blanket of ice. She could feel herself still shivering, a low ache coursing down her spine as she willed herself to stop. Her breath came in quick gasps heart hammering ruthlessly against her ribcage. She brought one hand to her breast, clawing at the fabric of her t-shirt as she let out a low groan.

"Akko?"

The feeling of the bed twisting beneath Diana made her shoot up with a sharp intake of breath. Akko was bent over, grabbing at her chest and blowing heavily through her nostrils. Diana could feel her shaking, could feel the other girl's muscles tense with each shuddering breath she took. She closed her hands on the other girl's biceps, not surprised to find her skin moist with sweat.

"Akko, is it happening again?"

Akko could only offer a weak nod. She squeezed her eyes shut hard at Diana's touch, trying to force her heart rate to slow with each heavy, focused breath. "Yes," she gasped, tilting her chin toward the ceiling and swallowing hard.

Diana pulled her in, fingers threading through her damp brown hair. She could feel Akko nuzzling her cheek into her neck, the heat of each shaky breath tickling her bare skin. "It's alright," she murmured, her own body tensing against Akko's quivering muscles.

Akko focused on Diana, on the quiet fingers that were combing gently through her hair, on the hand that gripped into her shoulder blade to hold her in a tight embrace. The shivering slowly fell into the relief of stillness, and, with it, the painful rhythm of her pounding heart steadying once more. "I'm sorry," she whispered after quite some time, finally pulling away from Diana to look at the glowing red numbers of the alarm clock on the nearby desk. It was barely past midnight.

"That's the third time this month," Diana replied with a frown, pushing the other girl to arm's length and scanning her face. She leaned in and planted a gentle kiss to the side of her nose. "Maybe you should pay another visit to Madam Wong."

It was true, it had been the third time she'd awoken with a panic attack from nightmares… the third time with Diana, who she only got to spend the weekends with. Since returning to Luna Nova, she'd lost count of the amount of times she'd woken up with her heart racing, tangled in covers damp with sweat. She'd even woken to Lotte shaking her awake a few times to tell her she'd been screaming in her sleep.

Her nightmares were nearly always the same scene: the lifeless man with blood pooling from the deep slash through his neck. Sometimes the entire sanctum of the Cavendish ritual site took shape around her. Cold, damp, foreboding. Other times, she felt like she was floating in a void, unable to move a single muscle, unable to look away as her eyes simply locked on the gore in front of her.

On other nights, she was running for her life, fleeing an onslaught of bullets that rained around her in a thunderous roar and sometimes even brought her to the ground in a spray of bright red blood. She would wake nearly instantly to phantom pain biting in the same place she'd been struck in her dream.

Nights had grown rather sleepless. She'd found herself struggling to stay awake in class, at meals, even while spending time with her friends, and was hard pressed to maintain enough energy just to make it through the day.

At Lotte's insistence, she had finally given in and paid a visit to Madam Wong—only to find that all that could be done, without the intervention of a memory specialist ("There are only a handful in the world," Madam Wong had told her), were a couple of different potions and time itself.

Akko shook her head, parting her lips as she released a shuddering breath. "She said she can't do anything, remember?" she said, finally letting her hand fall from the stretched fabric of her shirt. "And, besides, chances of extracting small pieces of a memory are slim without… losing the whole thing," she added, waving her fingers toward her head for emphasis. She lifted her red eyes to meet Diana's concerned blue. "I'm not risking that. Those memories are too important to me."

"I can remember for us," Diana argued, bringing a hand up to run the back of her knuckles down the side of Akko's temple. "You can't keep going through this."

"No," Akko stated firmly, hoping her tone got the point across that it was the end of the subject. She hooked her fingers at the bottom of her damp t-shirt and pulled it over her head, balling it up and tossing it into the dark to land somewhere near the bookshelf.

Diana couldn't help but let her eyes run over Akko's body. It had been a week and, though tired and so very ready to go back to sleep, she couldn't help but let her mind wander. "Where's your dream suppressant?" she asked, forcing her gaze back up to the other girl's face.

"Desk," Akko muttered, reaching over Diana so she could sift through the multiple vials that she'd tossed unceremoniously next to Diana's diary. "Blue one—looks kind of like the awakening serum though—I've got it." She wrapped her hand around the small glass bottle and pulled herself back across Diana's body—but not before she felt the other girl's thumb drag against her nipple. She inhaled sharply and rocked back onto her knees.

"Babe," she groaned, scowling at the smirk on the other girl's face as she uncapped the bottle and measured her dosage into the cap. "I'm on my period. I told you that."

"You know I don't mind." Diana trailed her fingers down Akko's muscular side, letting out a heavy sigh as a familiar pang twisted slowly through her lower abdomen.

"I mind," Akko mumbled. She tilted her head back and threw the serum down her throat, eyebrows twitching at the unexpected taste. Lifting the vial into the moonlight, she read the tiny script at the bottom and let out a loud groan. "Aw, man…"

Diana hummed, letting her arms fall back to the sheets as Akko leaned over her once more to set the potion back on the desk. But, this time, the other girl didn't retreat back to her side of the bed. Instead, Diana felt fingernails raking up her sides and sucked in air as Akko's hands pushed beneath her shirt, fingers tracing over the ridges of her ribs.

"Akko—what—" Soft, wet lips press against her abdomen, one hand retreating lower while fingers danced at the waistband of her shorts. "What are you doing? This isn't—" She tilted her head back against the pillow, a moan slipping from the back of her throat as Akko's teeth scraped against the tip of her hipbone. "—isn't fair."

"You can just—get me back—next week," Akko whispered between kisses, relishing in the sensation of Diana's rhythmic gasping, her abdominal muscles pulsing and rolling as Akko trailed lower. She paused, breath tickling against where the other girl wanted her the most, as she raised crimson eyes to meet the familiar blue hues that were clouded with lust.

"Besides," Akko mumbled, grinning while she dipped down and let her lower lip brush against the other girl to receive a satisfactory groan, "I accidentally took the awakening serum."

"Akko, wake up!"

A hard elbow jammed into her ribs and she snorted awake, lifting her head and swiping a string of drool from the corner of her mouth. She looked down at her notes to see that her already messy handwriting had gotten steadily worse until it squiggled off into the puddle where her face had . "Eh?" She blinked up at the Finnish witch who was glowering at her from behind thick glasses.

"You fell asleep again," Lotte whispered in a scold, quickly turning her attention back to the front of the class, where Lukic was cackling and dipping a dried rabbit spine into a simmering brew. "Are you not taking your potions?"

"I am," Akko shot back, picking her pencil up and leveling bloodshot eyes to the front of the classroom. She could already feel her chin starting to droop again and only straightened back up when she heard Diana hiss from behind her, "Akko, don't you dare!"

"She's not taking them," Sucy stated matter-of-factly from Akko's other side, inhaling deeply as what smelled like burning hair wafted over them.

Akko crinkled her nose and fanned the air in front of her, eyes starting to water against the stench. "Have too," she grumbled.

"Have not."

"Fine," Akko huffed. "The awakening serum makes my heart race, though! It feels weird and I don't like it."

"And the anxiety blocker?"

Akko crossed her arms over her chest. "It makes me feel like a zombie."

"What about the dream suppressant?" Lotte asked, leaning into her notes as she jotted down the correct number of salmon scales to add to the Deathbringer Potion. Which, by the way, was a total misnomer, because it didn't actually cause death. It just made someone's skin shimmer if they were within a month of their demise. A useful tool for determining hospice care, Diana had told her.

Akko rested her temple in her palm. "It makes me oversleep."

"You already oversleep," Sucy scoffed.

"Well, I oversleep more!"

Akko had unknowingly raised her voice in the argument. Lukic looked up from stirring, fist full of salmon scales frozen over the now rapidly bubbling liquid. Akko realized, with a gag, that the smell of burning was coming from the Professor. Some of her hair had fallen into the potion and was billowing smoke. "Miss Kagari, how would you like to try this potion? Maybe you'll glow, wouldn't that be a sight to see?" Her voice screeched into a wicked laugh.

"Uh… no, thank you," Akko replied, eyebrows scrunching together as she stared down at her Professor. "I'd rather not."

Lukic's loud chuckle ground to a halt. Her voice hollowed. "Fine. Then you and your two friends can enjoy scrubbing my cauldrons this weekend."

Akko let out a loud groan. The sound of a throat clearing behind her made her turn to find Diana glaring down at her from where she sat, arms folded across her chest. Crap! Akko squeezed her eyes shut. She had arranged to take Diana to Blytonbury on Saturday afternoon for a date. It was the second weekend she'd ruined their plans with detention. The last time, she'd fallen asleep in Pisces class, which wouldn't have been that bad, except when Amanda scared her awake by throwing a ball of paper at her head, she'd panicked and thrown her book. Which had, unfortunately, knocked over and shattered an entire jar of the Professor's favorite seaweed flakes. Pisces had nearly jumped out of her bowl she'd been blubbing so angrily.

I'm sorry, Akko mouthed at Diana, wincing at the eye-roll she received from the other girl and sheepishly turning her head back to the front. She buried her face in her hands and let out a deep sigh.

"She's going to break up with me for sure," Akko moaned into her palms.

"No she's not," Lotte whispered through the corner of her mouth. "She loves you too much, Akko! Just make it up to her later."

Sucy sneered, squinting her eyes at the very detailed mushroom she was sketching around her notes. "It's not like she has high expectations, anyway."

Akko groaned again. "That makes it even worse!"

A glare from Lukic made the Red Team shut their mouths for fear of an additional weekend being taken. Akko could almost feel the heat from Diana's stare on the back of her head. She knew that she was absolutely, without a doubt, in the doghouse.

She'd thought that being in a relationship—especially with the smartest girl at Luna Nova—would make her life easier. She thought her studies might improve, that she might be able to find classes more interesting, that Diana might even take it easy on her when she caught Akko doing something she shouldn't be doing. Instead, Diana had become even more stern than before, expecting her to behave in a certain way that mirrored the expectations of dating someone of prestige.

No, Akko had severely misjudged what life would be like while dating Diana Cavendish. Yet, even though she could already hear the upcoming lecture with surprising clarity ("Akko, you have got to be more serious about your studies!"), Akko knew for certain that she didn't want a single thing to change.

Well, except for maybe not getting in trouble so much.

"Akko, you have got to be more serious about your studies if you want to be a successful witch," Diana was scolding from across the cafeteria table during dinner as she delicately shuffled her roasted potatoes across her plate. "It's quite absurd that you continue to find yourself in these situations."

Akko shoveled a potato into her mouth, hunching her shoulders in defeat as she stared at her own wavering reflection in her full glass of water. "I know, I know," she mumbled, swallowing.

"And, did I hear that you aren't taking your potions?" Diana whispered loudly, leaning forward. One white-blonde eyebrow raised in accusation as she leveled an icy blue gaze at the Japanese witch.

Akko dropped her fork and groaned, grabbing her glass of water and taking a long sip. "Can we not talk about this right here?" She glanced over at the Green Team and the rest of the Blue Team, who had no idea about Akko's current affliction. She preferred it stay that way. The less people worrying about her, the better.

"You're right. I apologize," Diana replied, setting her silverware down and leaning back in her chair. "Though, so you know, we will be discussing this later."

"What potions?" Amanda piped up from where she sat close to Hannah, the smaller redhead tucked against her in a close embrace. "Discuss what?"

"I hardly believe that's any of your business," Diana retorted, directing her attention (much to Akko's relief) to the wily American. "And, for the love of the Nine, can you two please cease your obnoxious displays of affection while in public?"

Amanda hummed, a slow smirk etching across her face as she glanced beneath the table, where Diana was gently running the toe of her shoe against Akko's calf. "You're one to talk, Cavendish," she said with a snicker, earning a quick retreat of the leg and a brilliant red blush from the blonde.

The exchange, at least, had distracted the nosy witch from the topic of Akko, who shoved more potatoes into her mouth and let her thoughts wander as the conversation moved on. In an instant, her mind had taken her once more to the snow-covered hill of the Cavendish Estate, to Diana's bundled body pressed close to hers. To the blue eyes that had melted beneath Akko's confession, to those soft, pale lips that had spoken the words she thought she'd never hear.

"I am ridiculously in love with you."

Akko squeezed her eyes shut as she let the familiar warmth pulse beneath her skin. She couldn't remember a happier day in her life. The desperate clash of their lips, Diana's breath hot against her cheek, the soft blonde hair that melted through her fingers as Akko held her close.

She could feel the cold biting into her skin beneath her clothes, hear the gentle rustling of the leaves beneath the snow, the rolling snort of Thistle as she dozed nearby. They'd fallen back in the snow, Akko's head resting comfortably on Diana's shoulder as the latter's fingers danced lazily through her hair. She had never been more at ease, more content, more filled with uninhibited love than she was in that moment.

But the air was thick with a metallic taste that bit into the back of her tongue. Diana's fingers ceased movement against her and instead felt just as cold and heavy as the snow surrounding them. Akko could feel something warm and damp pooling against the side of her face.

Akko lifted her head and choked on a cry. Bright red blood was soaking into the snow, dripping from her own face and hair. Diana's clouded blue eyes were staring, unblinking, into her own.

The blood wept, thick and endless, from the gaping wound in her neck, gushing rhythmically with the still weak pulse of a slashed artery. Akko could feel her muscles begin to shake, the cold sweat slowly drenching her skin beneath her thick coat, her heart beating faster with each unbearable moment.

A gut-wrenching scream scared Akko awake so hard that she'd nearly flipped her chair over backwards. Her knee struck the bottom of the table so hard that everyone's plate jumped into the air and smashed back down in a loud clatter.

"Akko, are you alright?" she heard Lotte say.

"What was that?" Akko yelled, realizing she was barely in her own chair and being held up by Constanze. The German witch's dark eyebrows stitched together, eyes large with confusion as she slowly eased Akko back into her chair.

Red eyes shifted around her to find that the entire cafeteria had turned to stare at her. Every single student, teacher, even the goblins had frozen mid-service at the counter. The only sound came from the rain that had just started to drum against the massive windows gazing out onto the vestibule.

Akko groaned and rubbed at her aching knee, glancing around at her friends. Amanda had stopped, mid-chew, to stare at her. Sucy's eyebrow was raised. Jasminka had lowered the tart she'd been munching on. Barbara just looked... scared.

"Akko."

She turned her gaze to Diana to find wide blue eyes, very much full of life, staring back into her own. The skin of the other girl's pale neck was completely untouched. The weight of the Cavendish's expression made her shrink into the back of her chair.

Diana lifted one hand to pinch the bridge of her nose between her fingers, squeezing her eyes shut hard.

"Akko, that was you."

Author's Notes

Hi. I didn't expect to be back this soon, especially with a sequel, but I am.

I marked this with "depictions of graphic violence", though I would like to advise you that this chapter will likely be the only one deserving such a warning. There will be little to no violence from this point forward. Far less so than it's prequel.

However, I would like you to know that this fic will be quite a bit more mature than the former as there will be depictions of mental illness.

But, yes, there will be fluff.

And yes, the dang fic is named after the Hayley Kiyoko song. I was going to name it something else, but then I found this one fitting, given the plot.