'Twas the day after Christmas, when all through the palace,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a phallus;

The mistletoe had been hung from the bedposts with care,

In hopes that sweet moans would soon fill the air;

The lovers were all nestled, all snug in their bed,

While an unknown figure walked in like the dead;

He stole all the mistletoe, plucked it all up,

And then dashed out the room with nary a yup;

He ambled through the palace, fetching mistletoe with glee,

Until every sprig was gathered, yet still he daren't flee…

Zuko woke, stretching his lanky arms around his waterbending lover and yawning softly in her ear. His golden eyes blearily opened, blinking once and then twice to get rid of sleepy dust. Without really thinking, he nuzzled closer to Katara and breathed in her morning aroma. The scent elicited a delightful bodily function and he drew his hips closer to her, prodding her softly from behind with his morning wood.

Katara stirred, feeling the growing protrusion on her backside. She smiled into her pillow and then moaned, "Grab a mistletoe, babe."

A pair of molten eyes glanced at the bedpost and a frown formed. "Katara," he said, slowly scanning the room, "did you move them?"

"Move them?" she asked into her pillow. "Why would I move them? That's just silly."

"Well, they're not here."

"Whaddya mean…?"

Cerulean eyes glanced at the headboard and then posts, confusion suddenly overcoming her.

Simultaneously, the pair bolted from the bed and started tearing through drawers and cabinets, tossing stacks of clean clothes, piles of sex toys, and a variety of papers in the middle of the room in their haste.

"Where are they?"

"I dunno! Where'd you put them?"

"Why me? Why do you think I took them?"

"Well I didn't take them!"

"Neither did I!"

Zuko huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do we really need them? I mean, we can just do it and find one later."

"Zuko," Katara chided, shaking her head, "it's our thing. We can't just…stop. It's like our tradition!"

"Ugh," the Fire Lord groaned, rolling his eyes. "Okay."

The waterbender smiled and they started searching feverishly again, ripping through stacks of parchment and tearing off bedsheets. Still, no clumps of red-dotted greenery could be found.

After a few brutal minutes of mindless probing, the panting lovers looked at each other and Zuko came up with a pretty decent idea. "Well, the ones in here are just the ones that we managed to collect. There are more out there." He pointed at the doors of his apartment. "So let's go find some."

With a nod, Katara shrugged a robe across her shoulders and brushed back her untamable hair with her fingers. "Let's go, then."

Together, the pair left the royal apartments and started trudging down the empty halls. Even though it was morning and the sun was shining through the open windows, no servants or maids were scampering about. Both benders thought this odd, but neither said anything. Instead, they kept their eyes on the ceiling, searching for their coveted mistletoe.

For a good forty minutes, they combed through the kitchen, hallways, guest quarters, library, offices, ballroom, and wine cellar. Empty-handed, they looked at each other and shrugged, neither one knowing what had happened overnight.

"Your staff sure is quick with their undecorating procedures," Katara remarked, staring at the bare walls.

"Yeah, I mean they're good…but not this good. They came into our room and everything."

"Well, we still have one more place to look," the waterbender sighed, strolling up to the final door.

Zuko looked at the immaculate doors of the throne room and pressed his hand against the wood. With a small squeal, the door shifted inward and the pair sauntered inside.

The throne room was dimly lit, candlelight flickering against the columns, creating eerie shadows as they walked further inside. When they finally got to the daises, they both looked up and squinted.

"There!" Katara exclaimed, excitement overcoming her when she noticed the dangling shrub.

"Sweet!" Golden eyes narrowed. "But how do we get it down?"

"We don't need to get it down, Zuko," the waterbender scoffed. "We've done the nasty thang in here so many times, it's not like it really matters." She tugged at the sleeve of her robe and started pulling it off, looking at her lover hungrily as she did so.

Zuko smirked and watched the small strip tease, golden eyes glinting in the dim light. He growled when she tucked her fingers into either side of her panties, shimmying them down with practiced and erotic ease. And when she was finally bare, she strutted up to the throne and positioned herself like one of the pinups she commissioned. Her ass was glowing and looked extraordinarily welcoming, so Zuko stepped forward and pulled down his boxers. His erection was so hard that he had to struggle with his waistband for a moment before he grew steadily irritated and burned the foul article off.

Naked and more than ready, he stepped up and onto the daises before falling to his knees for the last few feet. He loomed possessively behind his lover, thinking about how all that glorious ass was his to claim, and he smacked it playfully with the broad side of his hand.

He placed one warm hand on the small of her back and allowed his fingers to inch up her spine, tickling her with his tender warmth. His other hand clamped onto her waist, steadying her for the rough pounding that he was sure to unleash.

After lining himself up, he slowly inserted his rock-hard cock, forcing Katara to softly gasp until all of him was deep inside her. He started with slow and well-timed bursts, and his lover responded instantly, shifting her ass against his hips at just the right moment.

"Sweet Agni," Zuko moaned, digging his nails into her back and scraping down, leaving beautiful trails in his wake. He closed his eyes and continued his dedicated rhythm, occasionally hastening his pace to leave Katara subtly curious and aroused.

"Z-Zuko," she cooed, hearing the fleshy smacks of her breasts knock against each other. "Go faster. Go fast—"

Fire erupted around the daises and the pair of squirming lovers paused for a moment.

"Did you do that?" Katara asked, eyes wide and wild.

"No," Zuko breathed, golden eyes bouncing around the supposedly empty throne room.

The fire died down to a small ember and the Fire Lord snarled, "If there's somebody in this room, I order you to show yourself!"

A figure that he wasn't expecting slowly shifted away from one of the nearby columns, shaking his head sadly and clicking his tongue, obviously disappointed. "Oh, Nephew," the great Dragon of the West sighed.

"Uncle?"

Katara squeaked and kicked Zuko back, forcing him to pop out of her with a wet squish. She scampered for her robe and covered herself frantically, still yelping softly until she was completely clothed.

Zuko, meanwhile, struggled to find his shredded boxers. He pulled them up on his frame and shrugged after realizing that the hole he burned in them was far too large to cover his throbbing cock. So he shrugged once more and poised himself behind his standing lover.

"What're you doing here, Uncle?"

"I was summoned," he responded, still shaking his head, dissatisfaction pouring off him in thick and unavoidable waves.

"By who?" Zuko snapped, irritated.

"Your advisers, of course. I had hoped to make it before Christmas, but there was this delightful hot spring that promised to tighten old skin, and I just couldn't pass it up." The ex-General smiled but then remembered why he was there. "I'm sorry that I delayed my return…I didn't expect it to be this bad."

"Bad?" Zuko's shifty, golden orbs narrowed and started sweeping across the throne room. "What's bad?"

"You're obviously distracted. So much so, that even your lowliest advisers have noticed that your…sexual proclivities have affected your work."

"Sexual proclivities?" Katara asked. The words sounded dirty coming from her mouth and she stuck out her tongue, a little disgusted.

"Hmm," Iroh nodded, gesturing to the pair of lovers. "The most common rumor circulating is that you two are particularly drawn to mistletoe. And you get so distracted with it that you sometimes disappear in the middle of parties or important meetings." He focused on his young nephew. "I'm disappointed in you, Zuko. I didn't think that you were so…distractible."

"I'm not distractible," Zuko countered, beating down his urge to shout, "I'm just…" He frowned and shook his head. Horny, he wanted to say. He shook the thought away and puckered his lips, fingering through his thoughts and realizing who potentially undecorated the palace. "Did you steal all our mistletoe?"

"Yes," Iroh smiled. "I figured that my theft would capture your attention. And I left one final one so I could confront you."

"Had'ta chose a time when we weren't clothed, huh?" Katara snapped, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring icicles at the old statistician.

"Well, I thought that this would make the point stick a little more."

"Point?" Zuko growled. "There's a point to this…this…whatever you've decided to do here?"

"Oh yes," Iroh said with another careful smile. He extended one arm and wiggled his fingers, signaling another hidden person to open the massive doors at the opposite side of the chamber.

The doors opened and a ridiculous amount of people started pouring into the throne room. Officers, throngs of noblewomen, chefs, maids, servants, ex-concubines, miscellaneous palace staff, and the librarian quickly filtered inside, and Zuko and Katara gasped when so many people finally collected in front of them.

"Tui and La, Iroh!" Katara exclaimed. She blushed and tried to cover herself up a bit more. The robe she was wearing was frighteningly thin and she knew that her pointed nipples were poking through the fabric.

The horde looked onward, seeking their esteemed ruler. Zuko clamped down on Katara's shoulders to protect his subjects from gazing upon his nude form, and he glared at his portly and allegedly sane family member.

"Really, Uncle?" Zuko groaned. "What the hell are you—"

"These people," Iroh said, "require an apology. From the both of you."

"What? Why?" the Fire Lord demanded.

"This young lad," Iroh sighed, pointing to Lee, "has caught you more times than he cares to remember. Katara even coerced him into making you glamour shots."

"They were my Christmas presents," Zuko snarled, whispering the words out through gritted teeth.

"This woman is traumatized," Iroh continued, gesturing to the librarian. "She says that you've tainted her flooring and destroyed a few classic novels with your antics."

"We did no such thing," Katara scoffed, whispering out her words as well.

"These men," Iroh indicated the officers, "are thoroughly convinced that during one or two meetings, you've been partaking in scandalous activities…while attending the meeting."

"They couldn't see anything," Zuko mumbled.

"This group of lovely, young ladies swore that the pair of you disappeared behind a curtain during a Winter Solstice celebration. They claim that you shook the curtains and made them dance so fiercely that they thought a wild animal was trapped."

"Momo haaaaas been getting around."

Iroh frowned at that excuse, but continued nonetheless. "You were caught red-handed in the kitchen, smearing chocolate sauce over each other."

"We were hungry," Zuko shrugged.

The great ex-General sighed and persisted. "The remaining few are palace staff who've caught you both in ridiculous positions and locations all throughout the palace. Some of them are so devastated, that they require therapy."

"I've had to clean up so many condoms," one servant complained. "I didn't know a man could ejaculate that much!"

Iroh cleared his throat and shushed the mentally-scared man. "And finally," he looked at the door and cupped his mouth. "You can come in, sweetheart! They can't pressure you anymore."

A brown-haired head poked around the door and a very embarrassed Suki wandered inside. "Hey guys," she softly smiled, nervously waving.

"And this young warrior had the shame of being immediately privy to your deplorable antics. A threesome, Zuko…how disgusting."

"Hey!" Zuko argued. "She asked us!"

With a frown, Iroh crossed his arms. "You owe these people an apology, Nephew."

"What?!"

"Now."

The Fire Lord groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, very irritated, embarrassed, and confused. "This is ridiculous," he grumbled. He released his nose and sniffed, "I'm sorry."

"For what, Nephew?"

"For-making-you-all-uncomfortable-with-our-massive-amounts-of-fucking."

"I would've preferred it without the profanity, but that should suffice. Everybody satisfied?" Iroh looked expectedly at the crowd, and after a few people nodded their consents, he beamed. "Excellent! You all may leave."

The horde slowly dispersed and disappeared out the door.

When everybody was finally gone, Iroh turned to the lovers, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm happy with how this turned out."

Zuko clenched his fists. "Good," he snapped, "now leave. I've got unfinished business to attend to."

"Perhaps you'd be more interested in taking your activities to the bedroom?"

"Perhaps you'd be more interested in minding your own business?" Zuko quipped, rolling his eyes.

After a long and throaty sigh, Iroh focused his attention on the waterbender. "Teach him some manners, dear." He winked at her and then sauntered away, heading toward the door. "And remember to use protection! I don't want to give you the talk about the iguana-parrots and the bee-buzzards again."

The door snapped closed and Katara stared across the throne room, dumbstruck and awed. "What the fuck was that?"

"A very confusing ending to a very erotic story," Zuko said with a slight nod. "Now, get on your knees and let's finish this shit before my balls turn blue."

Happy New Year, all! If you enjoyed this story in the slightest, let me know by favoriting and reviewing! If I break 150 reviews (I know y'all can do it), I'll make a Valentine's Day themed one. Goal: fourteen chapters of hot and steamy stuff that I had to skip over because I ran outta time.

So, if I hit 150, expect a delicious story to pop up in February (probably called My Valentine or Candied Hearts)! Fill up my inbox with rankings of chapters, favorite scenes, and ideas for the next story. I promise that I won't disappoint! ;3

Merry Christmas, everybody! And have a very Happy New Year!