Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are all owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Our DNA is not strictly from our ancestors. Horizontal gene transference (HGT) introduces new genetic material into the system. It is likely that HGT is the reason mammals have live young rather than laying eggs like other life forms. And all animals share a large amount of DNA. Those two items are facts. I extrapolate HGT to an impossible level for the procedure Nick and Judy are considering. (Late breaking news: He Jiankui at a university in Shenzhen, claimed something akin to this last week. I'm waiting verification of the claim.)

The Outsiders were the first to record 'Bend Me, Shape Me'. It's not the version you remember.

Bend me, shape me
Anyway you want me
Long as you love me, it's all right

Bend Me, Shape Me

The nurse's voice came over the intercom, "Doctor Rack, your three-thirty consultation is here."

"Send them in." He stood and gestured to two chairs as the couple entered. He resumed his chair behind the desk as they sat. "Detectives Wilde and Hopps, I'm pleased to meet you. How is the day going? A bit nervous, I expect."

The fox nodded his head 'yes'.

"Just call us Judy and Nick," the rabbit requested. "There's a crime scene analyst on the force named Ron Rack... Any relation?"

"Not that I know of," the elk shrugged. "Could be a relative. There are a lot of Racks – the most common name for my species. I don't recall a Ron Rack. But, of course, we're not here to talk about my family. We're here talk about the chimera process." He glanced at his notes to double-check his memory, "You realize you're here earlier than we allow couples to have the procedure."

"No," Judy corrected him. "You wouldn't begin the treatment until after our fourth anniversary – but it takes a few weeks for you to run the tests and create the necessary genetic modification procedures tailored for a couple. By the time all that's finished we'll be eligible – if the tests don't turn up any problems."

"Judy always feels if something is worth doing, we should have started it yesterday," commented Nick.

"What are your feelings? This is a very serious procedure we're talking about here. Both animals in the relationship have to be completely committed."

"He is–" insisted Judy

Nick coughed gently, "I believe he would rather hear it from me." He looked at the doctor. "Judy and I have read about what it means, and are in full agreement. She is simply overly enthusiastic about everything. In our marriage she has always been the voice of 'put the hammer down!' and I've taken on the role of voice of reason."

"He and reason have never gotten along well," Judy warned the doctor. "But Nick tries hard."

The doctor chuckled, "I'll try to keep that in mind during our conversation. Clearly you've done some reading. It may or may not have been accurate. I'll begin my talk on informed consent after I answer any questions you have."

"When can you–" began Judy.

"I believe he means questions about the procedure," Nick told her, "they need to run tests on us and prepare a genetic modification program before they can give us any kind of when."

"Exactly. Questions?"

"I think we understand the... We understand what we read, we're assuming most of it was accurate. Sometimes sites disagreed. Is that because they were written at different times? In what we read... There were all kinds of different claims for success rates. One site even claimed animals died from the genetic conditioning."

"I don't think any animals have died from the process. Some have died after receiving the process – but from accidents like being hit by a truck. A few became quite ill in the early days of the program. We've corrected those issues. There are animals who are opposed to interspecies marriages and children. They invent outright lies and alarming statistics. The success rate was low in the early years of the program. I believe we're over ninety percent successful now."

"Forgive me, Doctor," commented Nick, "but 'I believe' doesn't sound very scientific."

"A couple might not conceive right away. We wait at least two years before suggesting the genetic modification might have failed."

"So what is the average length of time?" asked Judy.

"Averages are notoriously problematic," the elk warned. "I'll say about a year. Some couple conceive a month or two after the procedure. I told you that for other couples it may be two years."

Nick voiced a concern, "We also saw some different figures for how long the therapy takes."

"That is true. I can't answer how long it would take for you. Assuming I find you psychologically good candidates you'll have the tests your wife mentioned. The closer the species the less time it takes. It can take from five or six months to as long as ten. And even after the therapy ends your bodies are usually adjusting to the procedures for a month or two. I'm guessing that a lagomorph and canid would require ten months of treatments."

"We met a couple chimeras, the older male about four and his little sister, and he looked more like a raccoon than a fox, but the sister looked more like a fox. The literature says the child will probably resemble one parent more than the other. There is really no way to predict that?"

"I may know the couple you're talking about. No, it can't be predicted. A daughter might resemble either her mother or father. A son might resemble mother or father. You saw siblings who didn't have the same physical characteristics. It is possible that the two could have both looked more like foxes, or both looked more like raccoons."

"And when they grow up they could marry either raccoons or foxes and have children – without needing the modifications?"

"We think so. We don't have a lot of data on adult chimeras yet. I suspect in another five to ten years we'll have plenty of evidence to confirm the hypothesis that they are compatible with the species of either parent."

After the doctor answered their questions he told Nick and Judy, "I still have the questions I need to ask you, and subjects I'm required to cover. We have never tried to undo the procedure. The assumption in the medical community, and it should be the assumption in your own minds, is that after the process you will only be able to have children with each other. We only consider committed, stable couples. Interspecies marriage is stressful. Children are stressful. The divorce rate for interspecies couples is twice the average for all same species marriages. We–"

Nick raised a skeptical eyebrow, "There's a real average divorce rate for all species?"

"I'm a doctor, not a statistician. Obviously the divorce rate is different in different species. Lagomorphs have a fairly high divorce rate. Canids have one of the lowest divorce rates, but you average out the–"

Nick put his paw on Judy's and gave it a gentle squeeze, "See, you are so lucky you have me."

"It would be much easier to believe if you didn't remind me constantly. What? You're not lucky to have me?"

"I've got the greatest lucky rabbit's foot in the world," agreed Nick, "still attached to my love bunny."

The doctor coughed to get their attention. "Fine, you feel very committed. And apparently relaxed if you can joke about it in a very serious conversation."

"Our work is serious," Judy reminded him. "Maintaining a sense of humor keeps us sane–" Knowing what Nick was thinking she turned to him, "As sane as a married rabbit and fox can be." She looked back at the doctor. "We've thought it over. We are perfectly serious, and totally committed to one another." She hit Nick with an elbow.

"Ow! Why–"

"You were about to say something about us needing to be committed."

"She knows me too well," the fox told the doctor. "And since she has confessed our dark secret – we tease each other to maintain our sanity in stressful situations – we need to keep up the facade for fear if we're serious you'll think we're going crazy."

The elk closed his eyes, and a pained look crossed his face. This was not going the way normal screening conversations went. But he would move forward, accepting that Nick and Judy were committed to each other and willing to do what was necessary to have children. He reminded himself there really was no 'normal' preliminary interview. All couples are unique, but some couples are more unique than others.

Among the questions the doctor asked was, "Is there any history of infertility issues in your family?"

Nick assured him, "All of our ancestors were able to have children, for at least the last five generations."

"Some couples are more unique than others," the doctor reminded himself.

"Nick, could you be a little serious, please," begged Judy. "Our reproductive future is in his paws."

"I'd really prefer yours be the only only paws on my reproductive future."

"I will mark no family histories of infertility," Dr. Rack told them firmly and moved on to the next question. "Circumstantial evidence might suggest insanity."

"Did we pass," Judy asked eagerly as the questions and explanations came to an end.

"I'm not sure if pass is the operative verb," the doctor told them. "You're both young and healthy. I haven't ruled out the possibility you're both insane, but a sense of humor will be a blessing if you are accepted for the procedure. A lagomorph and canid are a bit further separated than most candidates, but I will recommend you for physical evaluation to see if you're suitable match for the program."

"And if we aren't?"

"Then that is the answer. There is a chance that might change. We're continually becoming more sophisticated in the process. But if we find issues that make you poor candidates for the process you won't be accepted in the program."

They went by Tony's for cannoli after the interview. "More excited or scared," asked Nick.

"Excited. You?"

"Scared. What did you think about what the doctor told us?"

"Two years after the procedure? Some females wait two years after the procedure before they get pregnant!"

"Lylah was what, two years after getting married before she had Sam?"

"Closer to three, and she was going crazy when it took so long. She was afraid she and George would never have a kitten!"

"She never said–"

"Not to you, maybe. She told me she was really worried. Oh, and the two years starts after the procedure – and the gene therapy can take close to a year. That's three years!"

"Let me remind you of some other things he said. The three years you're tossing around is when they decide the gene therapy failed. He said some couples conceive... Well, some wives conceive within a few weeks of the procedure ending. Don't compare yourself to Lylah. You are way younger than her. And finally, Fluff-Butt, you don't need to be in a rush for everything. Slow down, relax. Enjoy time with your husband. Once a little one arrives one or both of use will be too sleep deprived to be decent company for months. Stop and eat the tulips."

Judy took a deep breath, followed by a bite of cannoli. "I know you're right," she sighed, "but patience is not one of my strengths."

"You don't need to tell me that," he reminded her. "I know that better than anyone else in the world. Here is a chance to learn patience starting... NOW!"

Judy rolled her eyes in mock disgust. "Going to call your mom tonight and say we were accepted into the program?"

"No. We passed the interview. I'll wait until after the physical. You going to call Stu and Bonnie? You told Susan, right?"

"Suze knows... I agree with you. I'm not going to tell mom and dad yet."