This is a side project. Sasuhina. Haters be gone. Hinata's pov.

This is Hinata's thoughts.

This is to signify the voices. (I also bold for emphasis on some words or phrases.)

This is Hinata's foreshadowing slash final declaration thing.

Beware this is pretty dark. Innocent readers beware.

I hate you. It's okay to hate you right? It's okay to hate the way you smile, hate the way your blond hair falls in your eyes, those eyes that will never look at me. It's okay to hate you right? To hate the beautiful aura that surrounds you at all times, the aura of a hero, the aura of something so bright it's almost sickening for tainted eyes to look at. Tainted eyes like mine.

Am I allowed to hate you? When you come down the streets of Konoha with your orange attire. Orange attire that never failed to catch my eyes, even when you thought no one was looking. I was always looking. Always watching. Always waiting.

Is it okay to hate you? You seem to take my love as a joke because you never answered. As if I didn't deserve your answer in the first place. Like I wasn't even worthy of your acknowledgment. I hate you. Because even if I dyed my hair cotton candy pink and had eyes green like Konoha's forest, your sky blue eyes would never touch mine. I am background noise. A noise you decided was a little too quiet to listen to so you skipped on. Chasing after a girl who never loved you in the first place, while she chased after your best friend who didn't love her.

You're an idiot. And I hate you.

Is it okay to hate myself? To hate my heart because it still beats rapidly when I see you. Is it okay to hate myself for loving everything about you? To love the tilt of your lips and hear your happiness when you're with her. Is it okay to hate myself? Am I allowed to gasp for air in the water prison I created? Am I allowed to break out of chains thay my love created?

Do you know how it feels? To know that you live your existence solely for one person. Do you know how it feels to realize that you've given up your goals in life because you've been chasing a dream for so long, a dream that will never come true? Only to realize you've wasted your time. You traded yourself in exchange for a far-fetched future that you will never have. And when you unmask the thief, the robber who had stolen your future and gave you disappointment after disappointment, you end up staring at yourself. Gray and unforgiving Hyuga eyes. To think I could live with the lies I have created for myself is not surprising. It's pathetic.

I should've known the truth. Accepted it. The world kills beautiful things. It killed Neji. It killed my love for you. I am empty. Those are the consequences for people like me. Ugly things like me. The world kills beautiful things and ensures ugly things suffer. In my case, I lived for you so long, I forgot how to live for myself. My punishment was watching you and realizing how much I dirty the world with my presence.

This is my suffering. My payment. It's time to cleanse the world.

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I watched the kunai as it slashed across the blue veins in my wrist.

I regret nothing.

I lived for you and now that everything's blank I can't even live for myself.

Don't be deceived into thinking that I am weak. The voices tell me otherwise. They know.

End your suffering.

You're one of the smart few.

Do it! Do it! Do it!

"I've done it!" I whispered, excitement laced in my voice.

I may have lived for you...

I heard blood dropped and splashed on the ground. Black spots were covering my vision.

"Time for the second one."

... But I die by my own hands. My own will.

Death is orgasmic. Beautiful. Delicious. Freeing.

A smile made its way onto my face. I will never be deceived by myself again.

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SOOOOO…. Heads up I'm still doing Dinner with Sasuke so chill. I am working on Nile and Carter chap 13 check that out. Love you guys. This will be pretty short (it's just a project.) Love Ya! -colorgirl3000