Okay guys, final chapter with a little comfort and a lot of hugging. Hope you enjoy, and thanks to my guest reviewers!

I will be posting some one shots coming up so keep an eye out for those :)

Part Three

Hazardous and High

"If I then to the worst that can be haste,

Why move thy feet so slow to what is best,

Happiest both to thyself and all the world,

That thou who worthiest art shouldst be their King?

Perhaps though linger'st in deep thoughts detain'd

Of the enterprise so hazardous and high;

No wonder, for though in thee be united

What of perfection can in man be found…"

-Paradise Regained (John Milton)

XXX

Castiel felt shock and then instant relief as he saw Jack and Mary breach the door. He staggered to his feet, searching for a weapon, ready to snatch his doppelganger away from Dean if he tried anything, but his double simply snarled and lunged for the door as soon as Jack and Mary were in the room.

Castiel realized he couldn't let him escape. He knew where the rebel camp was, they all did. He darted after his double and tackled him, slamming him against a wall. He felt an angel blade in his double's coat and snatched it, pressing it firmly against the other angel's throat.

His double swallowed hard, looking up at him. "Don't think that… you are better than me," he said, with more twitching as if every nerve was misfiring. "We—we are the same."

And as Castiel met his double's eyes, he suddenly saw then how true it was, and it hit him in the gut. The way his double had gotten into his head so quickly, the knowing, matter-of-fact look. It was because he was the same. Not who Castiel was, but who he could have been if circumstances had been different and that tore into his heart in a raw, and primal way that stole his breath.

He swallowed hard, looking into his double's eyes until a single tear slid down his own cheek, seeing beyond the nothing, the protective wall, to the pain that lay beneath. "Yes," he finally whispered. "We are."

His double raised his chin, almost in invitation and Castiel steeled himself as he changed his grip on his angel blade and with a deep breath, stabbed it into his double's chest.

The other angel's grace flared and broken wings painted themselves across the walls before the figure slumped limply to the ground, finally at peace.

After a long moment, Castiel sank to the ground beside his double, staring and breathing heavily.

A hand fell on his shoulder and Dean was kneeling beside him.

"Cas? You okay?" he asked softly.

Castiel was silent for a long moment, shaking his head. "No," he finally said.

Dean squeezed his shoulder harder and the presence was reassuring, a comfort. "I know it's kind of trippy to see your double, let alone kill them."

"No, Dean, you don't understand," Castiel said softly, looking down at the bloody blade in his hands. "This is what I could have become."

"What are you talking about?" Dean demanded. "No way you ever would have been some Auschwitz reject."

"Then you don't remember how I almost killed you, and did kill Samandriel and everything else I did when Naomi took control of me?" Castiel cried. "Dean, she conditioned me, she made me kill you a thousand times in simulation so I wouldn't hesitate when she asked me to actually go through with it." Dean's face slackened. He'd never know that, because Castiel had never told him. "Exactly like when Anna went after Sam and tried to kill your parents in the past. And this Castiel…he was not so different. He was so…he was destroyed. This…" He gestured to the body of his double. "This…machine, this could have been me, Dean." He blinked more tears from his eyes. They were flowing so easily now that his walls had been torn down, and his most desperate fears laid bare and he couldn't bring himself to be embarrassed. "This is what could have happened to me if I'd never met you or…or Sam." He choked on a sob at the mention of their lost brother. The blade finally fell from his hands to clank on the floor as he hugged himself, folding over his knees, feeling like he was being crushed from all sides, like he was suddenly drowning.

Dean's hands changed their grip and he suddenly wrapped his arms around Castiel, pulling him close, hands gripping the back of his ruined coat firmly. Castiel didn't even complain about how the tight grip hurt his injuries. It was better Dean's crushing embrace than the weight of everything else. He returned the embrace after only a second, breath hitching. He felt Dean's chest heave with silent sobs and Castiel felt some tears fall against his neck. Neither of them had had time to let out their grief yet, and now was probably the only time they would get.

Neither of them really registered the careful, almost hesitant footsteps that stepped across the boards of the long abandoned building until the familiar voice called out to them softly.

"Dean. Cas."

Dean's head whipped up as his breath caught in his throat and for a moment he thought he was seeing another ghost, another doppelganger, but no, it was his Sammy. The crease of pain between his brows and the relief in his eyes, the way he stood there with both hesitation and longing, as if not sure what to do, as if he wasn't sure they were real instead of the other way around.

Dean and Cas rose slowly to their feet.

"Sam," Cas breathed.

Dean didn't speak, he simply stared for a long second as Sam gave them both a pained smile, and then he strode forward and pulled his brother in, crushing Sam against him. Sam let out a pent up breath and shuddered in his arms, returning Dean's firm embrace, his head falling onto Dean's shoulder. It was a long moment before Dean could speak, still not letting go.

"I thought I'd lost you," he whispered, running his hand up into Sam's hair to clutch the back of his neck, keeping him safely in his arms for as long as possible.

"You did," Sam replied simply, the pain obvious in his voice and Dean held him tighter before he finally, reluctantly pulled back.

Cas instantly took his place and Sam embraced the angel just as fiercely.

"Sam, what happened?" Cas asked when he finally pulled away, but kept a hand on Sam's arm still as if to reassure himself that the hunter was still there. "I saw you…you were…you were…"

"I know," Sam said quickly, his voice shaky as he took a deep breath and glanced between them, eyes pained and apologetic. "It was….Lucifer."

Dean's heart clenched in his chest. "What?"

Sam's look broke his heart as his face wrinkled up, filling with not only frustration, but a little guilt, which was not what Dean wanted to see on his brother's face right now.

"He got free, came through the rift…" Sam started, voice hitching slightly before he licked his lips, shook himself. "He was following us, I guess, and he…he found me in…in the tunnels." He was shaking and Dean wanted to pull him into his arms again, but he let Sam finish, even though the pain and loathing in his voice made Dean want to punch something—preferably Lucifer—in the face. "H-he brought me back…made me…made me take him to the camp." He looked up at both of them then, tears shining in his eyes. "I shouldn't have let him, I'm so sorry. About all of this."

"Are you good?" Dean cut in, watching his brother's eyes. There were several abrasions on his face, a little older than this fight and it was no mystery to Dean as to how Lucifer had made Sam take him back to camp.

Sam's shoulders heaved with a small sigh, folding in on himself in a way he did when he was scared—and Dean knew there were only two things that scared his heroic little brother. Losing his family and that bastard Lucifer. "I'm alive," he said finally.

"Then you have nothing to apologize for," Dean told him, and watched the uncertainty waver over Sam's face. Dean reached up and gripped the back of his neck, squeezing reassuringly. "Hey, okay?"

Sam's face collapsed slightly and one tear slid down his cheek as he nodded.

"Dean's right, Sam," Cas added, gripping his shoulder. "We're just…we're just glad to have you back."

Sam licked his lips and nodded again, seeming unable to form words as he roughly rubbed the tears from his cheeks.

Mom came in then, and stopped slightly when she saw the three of them so close, as if afraid of interrupting some sacred moment. "Hey," she said quietly. "We took out all the angels, but we're afraid more might arrive."

Sam shook himself and wiped his face again as he cleared his throat. "Yeah, we need to get back to camp."

Dean nodded in agreement and pushed his brother ahead of him, looking back at Cas who gave his dead double one more look.

"Cas, you good?" Dean asked him softly.

Cas kept staring for a long second before he tuned around and met his eyes. "I'm alive," he said, repeating Sam's words from earlier and Dean nodded, understanding. He reached out and gripped Cas' shoulder, halting him before they left the gas station.

"Cas, what he was…that will never happen to you. I swear. As long as Sam and I are around, you will never be broken like that, and if anyone tries, I'll kill them dead. You understand?"

Cas wet his lips and blinked fiercely. "I know," he said.

"Good," Dean said, squeezing his shoulder before letting him go.

They walked out and Jack met them with relief and hugs for both of them.

"I'm so glad we found you," he said sincerely.

Dean ruffled his hair fondly. "Me too, kid."

"Sam, Mary and I have decided on a plan to get all the refugees through the rift," Jack said eagerly. "That way no one is left behind."

Dean and Cas looked at each other, but, well, he supposed it was the best way to be fair and all.

Gabriel came over to them as Jack went back to Mom and spoke with her. The archangel frowned as he took in Cas' appearance.

"You look terrible, kiddo," he said and there was real concern on his face.

Cas sighed heavily and looked down at himself, finally noticing that his bloody shirt was still unbuttoned. He clumsily started to redo those at least. "I was tortured," he said simply.

"You healing?" Gabriel asked.

Cas sighed again. "Not really."

Gabriel's face fell. "Well, I got no more mojo to do it right now, not if I need to figure out what to do with Lucifer. Sorry, Cas."

"It's fine, we'll patch you up when we get back to camp," Dean told his friend and glanced over at Sam. "Both of you."

"Dean, I'm fine, Gabriel already healed the…worst of my injuries," Sam said, wincing slightly as Dean's face flared with anger.

"Well, let's go all the same, we can't have that much time left," Dean said.

By the time they got back to camp, they were all lagging behind the others. Dean hadn't been tortured methodically like Cas had, but he had still taken a pretty heavy beating, not to mention the mind flaying. Thankfully, they would get a little downtime while Mom and Gabriel went to get Bobby and the rest of the refugees from another outpost, and try to find some way to transport all these people to the rift in time before it closed. Mom had pretty much insisted the three of them stay there and Dean didn't even argue.

They went to one of the cabins after grabbing what primitive medical supplies they could find and settled down. Sam slumped onto the bed, head in his hands and Dean cocked his head at him.

"Okay, shirt off, I want to see the damage."

Sam huffed, but complied, apparently too tired to argue. And once Dean saw that he had been telling the truth and that there were only scabbed wounds that seemed, for the most part, superficial, if not painful, he was satisfied that his little brother wasn't suffering more than he could handle.

"Alright, those can hold until we can grab some gauze for them when we get back to the bunker," he said reluctantly before he turned to Cas. "Your turn."

Cas had taken a seat on a stool and gingerly pulled off his layers of tattered clothes. Both his trench coat and his shirt had been torn by the lashing, and hung in bloody rags against his back. In the better light of his cabin, Dean finally saw all the damage and hissed slightly through his teeth.

"Damn," he muttered as he took the shirt and coat in a bundle and put them on the bed next to Sam. "You can fix these?"

Cas nodded tiredly. "When I have my powers back. It's…here, it's like being cut off from Heaven, I feel like I can't recharge."

Dean pressed his lips together with a nod, and bent to wet a cloth in a bowl of water. "Well, we'll get you cleaned up as well as we can and hopefully you'll start healing once we get back home."

Cas hissed and arched his back as Dean applied the cloth. "Sorry," he said. "Lady I got it from put a little vinegar in; said it would help clean the wounds."

Cas grunted, but didn't protest. Dean gritted his teeth as he bathed the angel's raw back. They had really done a number on him, and his front was no better.

"We gotta figure out what we're gonna do about Lucifer," he said, hating the way Sam flinched when he said it.

"I'll handle him," Sam said quietly, and Dean turned to look at him, hearing the unspoken words—it's my fault, I'll fix my mess.

"Sam," Cas said, voice strained. "You don't have to do that."

"Yeah, I do," Sam replied.

"Dude, he tortured you," Dean said, not uncaringly, just matter-of-fact. "Again. Frankly I don't want you anywhere near him right now. I mean look at you, you're still in shock over what happened and you just came back from the dead."

"I know," Sam said, but his voice was a little stronger. "But Dean, I have to do this. Let me handle him."

And this time there was something else in Sam's voice, a cold undertone that spoke of revenge. Dean watched him for a long moment, before he finally nodded. "Okay. Okay, Sam."

Sam nodded, jaw clenched as he looked down at his hands clasped in his lap, running his thumb against his palm in a way that Dean hadn't seen him do for years and that made his stomach twist with regret.

Once he finished cleaning Cas' wounds, the angel had slumped forward, head clutched between his hands, eyes closed. Dean bent slightly, looking at him in concern.

"Headache?"

Cas sighed and glanced up. "Yeah."

Dean nodded, he had a slight nagging ache behind his eyes but he hadn't been subjected to the psychic torture for nearly as long as Cas had. He could only imagine how his head was pounding. "I'll see if anyone has some pain meds."

"It's fine," Cas said.

"Come on, man, nothing about this situation is fine!" Dean shouted, finally feeling his own emotions crashing through his walls. "We're in an apocalyptic world, Lucifer's free again, and your freaking doppelganger mind-raped you. And I still can't believe my little brother is back from the dead again—after I watched him get his damn throat ripped out!"

Both Sam and Cas watched him with pained eyes. Dean ran his hand down his face and felt so deeply tired that he thought he could lay down and sleep for a week. He pinched the bridge of his nose with a weary huff of breath.

"I just need this to be over. I need us to go home," he said quietly.

"We will, Dean," Sam said softly.

"It's not gonna change what happened here," Dean said darkly. "Nothing will ever change any of this! This is just our lives. Always one fricken' thing after another, losing people…I'm done, man."

"Dean, I'm back," Sam said, standing up.

"But I couldn't stop you from dying in the first place!" Dean shouted, fists clenching at his sides. "I can never seem to stop anything anymore! Not Mom getting thrown into apocalypse world, or Cas getting stabbed in the back. Or Jack running off, or that son of a bitch Lucifer putting his hands on you again!"

"Dean," Sam pleaded and Cas had pulled himself to his feet as well, both of them seeming hesitant to step in.

Dean clenched his jaw and ran a hand through his hair again. "I—I just need some air." And then he walked out of the cabin into the night as the tears welled in his eyes. Tears of frustration and the culminated pain. He just wanted to forget the last twenty-four hours. He wanted to forget the sight of Sam being dragged off by those vamps, he wanted to forget the look on Cas' face when he'd voiced his fears about what he could have become without them. He wanted a goddamned drink or twenty. He wanted his bed, he wanted his family safe. He wanted this to be over.

He suddenly swung at the nearest cabin wall, the pain bursting through his hand relieving some of the pent up anger, and he sank down against the cabin and buried his head in his hands.

Sam watched Dean leave, an ache in his chest. He wanted to help his brother, but he was still getting over his own trauma, still barely functioning after the ordeal. Yes, comparatively it hadn't been that bad, but every cut on his body made the memories of the Cage come back to him and it was all Sam could do to stay on his feet. To not fold himself into a corner and let those memories overtake him.

He took a deep breath to steady himself and turned to Cas who was pulling on his ruined shirt again. "Think I should go after him?"

Cas glanced toward the door, his face tight. "He needs some time to cool off."

Sam nodded, knowing Cas was right and yet he didn't want to be parted from his brother at all right now. "I think I'm gonna go find him anyway," Sam said softly.

Cas seemed to understand and nodded, touching his shoulder gently. "I'm going to go find Jack, make sure everyone is ready for when Mary and Gabriel get back."

Sam nodded and they both left the cabin. Sam looked around the camp for his brother. The light was silvery grey, telling of the coming morning, though it looked like it was still going to be overcast. The wind was freezing and Sam tugged his jacket tighter to him as he glanced around.

The camp was quiet, like everyone was still asleep. Sam shivered again but this time it wasn't all from the cold. He decided he wanted to find Dean as soon as possible.

He headed to one of the more secluded cabins, knowing Dean would be looking for solitude, and called out for him hesitantly. "Dean? You here?"

"Heya, Sammy."

Sam's heart stuttered in his chest as he spun around, seeing Lucifer standing there like a repeat of his ongoing nightmares.

"No," he said. "You're locked up." His thumb subconsciously went to his palm and the old scar there, pressing firmly.

Lucifer smirked, and shrugged. "Yeah, well, turns out those Enochian cuffs don't work here. I was just putting on a good show earlier, waiting for the right moment." He lunged forward and Sam was instantly backed against the cabin, breath leaving his body and his nerves locking up in terror. He was furious with himself, but all rationality always went out the window when Lucifer was involved. He trembled, his ragged breaths puffing in the air as Lucifer hemmed him in, a cruel leer of his face.

"And look at this—alone at last, Sammy. Looks like the right moment to me." He reached into his coat and pulled out his angel blade, bringing it up to push Sam's hair out of his face in a mockingly gentle motion. Sam cringed away. "It's gonna have to be a quickie, since we don't have much time left, but I think we'll make it count, don't you?"

Sam squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the blade trace down his face and across his throat, to his chest, preparing for even more pain to come and yet he couldn't even find the power to cry out, his body and his vocal chords all locked in terror.

"Hey! Get away from him!"

Sam's eyes opened and he looked over to see Jack standing a few feet away, confusion and anger on his face.

"What are you doing?" the nephillim demanded, looking at his father.

Lucifer shuffled a step away from Sam, but not enough to let him escape. "Jack, son, this isn't really a good time. I'm just having a chat with Uncle Sammy here, so why don't you run off?"

But Jack held his ground. "You really did hurt him before, didn't you? Why would you do that?"

Lucifer was looking agitated. "Look, Jack, there's a lot that you don't understand. Like the fact that Sam here, and Dean and Castiel for that matter, are not exactly good people."

"Jack, you don't have to listen to him," Sam managed before Lucifer shot him a look and he felt like his throat was closing. He choked slightly.

Jack frowned. "Sam, Dean and Castiel raised me. They help people. You…all I've heard about you is that you hurt people. And from what I've seen even now, I think that's true."

Lucifer's anger flared, and he stepped back with one hand shoved against Sam's chest, his blade held out, gesturing at Jack. "And you believe that? Come on, man! They're lying to you! I brought Sam back, didn't I? Wasn't that great?"

"Then why are you hurting him?" Jack demanded.

"Yeah, you wanna answer that?" Sam asked, trying to edge his hand up to the small of his back where he had his gun.

"Shut up!" Lucifer's eyes flashed red and he shoved Sam forcefully against the cabin. Sam was stunned briefly but when his vision cleared, he saw Jack raising his hand at Lucifer and the concurrent blast of energy. Lucifer flew backwards and hit a tree hard. He fell with a sharp cry, and came up furious. Sam quickly moved in front of Jack, his gun held at the ready.

"Jack, go," he said firmly.

"But what about you?" Jack asked worriedly.

"Just go get Dean and Cas, I'll be fine," Sam told him as Lucifer staggered forward and Jack reluctantly ran off.

Lucifer growled, shaking his head. "Oh, boy, Sammy, you really did it this time. I'm going to run my fingers through your guts now, kiddo. And I'll make all of them watch as I flay you alive."

Sam snorted, trembling, but forcing his adrenaline rush to carry him through this. "And how will that look to Jack?"

"Hey, if the kid isn't going to love me, then he may as well fear me," Lucifer said with a shrug. "And I will give you such exquisite agony, Sam. That and so much more."

He stepped forward when Sam pulled the trigger. The bullet hit Lucifer in the leg and sparked as he shouted in shock and fell to the ground.

"Angel bullet," Sam said, feeling a dark satisfaction burn through him as he stepped forward and kicked the angel blade out of Lucifer's reach. "Looks like you wasted most of your mojo bringing me back from the dead so these actually do something to you now."

Lucifer growled up at him, clutching his leg. "This isn't going to stop me. I'm still there inside you, Sam. You know it."

Sam still held his gun. "Yeah, well, it will help for me to remember you like this."

He turned and Lucifer seemed to realize what was happening. He dragged himself across the ground and called. "Hey. Hey! You're not seriously going to leave me here again, are you?"

Sam turned back around, mouth twisting in a sneer. "Yeah. I am."

"Sam! You little bitch!" Lucifer snarled. "I'll end you! You hear me! I promise I will find you again, and I'll kill you and everyone you love!"

"Sammy!" Dean hurried over then and stopped in his tracks as he saw Lucifer lying there, ranting, on the ground.

Sam turned to his brother, swallowing hard before he said, "Told you I would take care of it."

Dean looked between him and the seething Lucifer. "Yeah. You did, little brother."

Sam then walked past him and around the cabin, trying to get his breath back, his hands were shaking so hard, that Dean finally reached out and took the gun from him, carefully uncocking it then gripping Sam's wrists.

"Sammy?" he asked.

Sam took a shuddering breath and then collapsed against his brother. Dean held him briefly, murmuring something soothing under his breath that Sam didn't really pay attention to at that moment. Just having Dean there was enough.

"Sam, Dean!" Cas and Jack ran up and Sam reluctantly pulled away. "We heard gunshots," Cas added, worry on his face.

"We're fine," Sam said, feeling a little steadier now.

"What about Lucifer?" Jack asked somewhat hesitantly.

Sam licked his lips. "I took care of him."

Jack looked like he wanted to ask for details but thankfully didn't. Sam wanted to go back and put several more bullets into Lucifer to see if it would take this time, but he would stay satisfied with this. If Michael found him after they left, then he would have something to distract him while they got back to their world.

"Your mother and Gabriel are back with Bobby and the other refugees," Cas told them then. "They brought a bus. It should hold everyone."

Sam checked his watch and realized the time. "Okay. Good."

He looked between the others and Dean simply reached out and took a firm grip on his shoulder. "Let's go home."

And those three words caused the warm relief to flow through Sam. They may not be out of the woods completely yet, but they were together and they were heading back to their world.

"Yeah," he said after a short breath of relief. "Let's go home."