Written for kurohawt as part of the DCMK Secret Santa a on tumblr.
Shiho regarded the mountain pass with mild disinterest. They passed the occasional snow-clad conifer on either side of the road, but otherwise, there was only a ploughed road stretching endlessly in front of them. The kids had fallen asleep. Shinichi was sitting on the front passenger seat, a map in his hands.
"We should arrive soon," the Professor said. "Do you see the crossing already?"
"Only on the map," said Shinichi, sounding as bored as Shiho felt. "I don't see any crossings on the road before us. Maybe it's behind a bend?"
"You're probably right," said the Professor. As always, Shiho added in her mind.
They drove on in silence. Shiho leaned her head against the car window and closed her eyes, trying to sleep a little as well.
When she next opened her eyes, they had already arrived at the lodge. She stretched, yawning, and climbed out of Agasa's old Beetle. Ayumi followed.
"Oh, it's so lovely here!" the little girl exclaimed. "Do you see that, Ai? The snow looks like powdered sugar!"
"That type of snow is actually called 'champagne powder,'" Shinichi explained even though nobody had asked him. "It's priced by skiers for its particular smoothness. Powder snow can be found in most regions of Japan."
Shiho raised her eyebrows and ignored the old know-it-all, taking her suitcase from the trunk of Agasa's car. Of course Ayumi kept listening to him eagerly, drinking in his every word as if it was some kind of superior wisdom and not just the rather trivial explanation of a natural phenomenon.
Shiho didn't mind Ayumi's child crush on "Conan". In fact, she envied her a little. Ayumi's adoration of Conan was so all-encompassing there was little room to doubt or question him. Granted, trust him Shiho did, but unlike Ayumi, she also saw his shortcomings: His self-righteousness; his sense of justice that was ruthless in its absoluteness; his penchant for self-sacrifice in order to protect the people around him. Unlike Ayumi, she also doubted Shinichi would ever reciprocate the feelings she had for him, so she kept pretending to be cold and unapproachable.
Shiho went to the lodge the Professor had rented in front of Shinichi and the kids. Its owners, a middle-aged couple, were about to hand the Professor the keys when a medium-sized, golden-haired dog peeked towards the newcomers from behind the woman's legs.
"Oh!" Shiho smiled, crouching down near the dog. "What a beautiful Golden Retriever!" The dog came closer to her, wagging its tail, and Shiho let him sniff her hand before she started to stroke his fur.
"That's Roger!" the woman said with a smile. "We thought the name would be fitting because Golden Retrievers are originally a British breed."
"He's wonderful!" Shiho exclaimed, smiling.
The children had spotted the dog now, too, and Shiho stepped back to give them room to greet him as well.
"It's astonishing," Shinichi said to her. "When you're like this, one could almost believe you're an ordinary girl." She glared at him.
"I'm not ordinary."
"That was essentially what I was saying," replied Shinichi, raising an eyebrow. She glared more.
When they had settled down, the woman who had greeted them came to Shiho.
"Hello, little Ai," she said. "Your friend told me how much you like Roger and that you always step back for the other children when they want to pet an animal."
"Oh…" Shinichi. She felt a strange mixture of annoyance and emotion. Why hadn't he just asked her if he should intervene on her behalf? The answer would have been a definite 'no.' Then again, knowing him, that was probably precisely why he hadn't asked.
"That's why I wanted to ask you if you'd like to walk the dog for a round," the woman continued. "Just around the copse and back." The copse was visible from the window; the woman showed it to Shiho. "Roger is very obedient. You shouldn't have any problems handling him."
"I don't know…" Shiho hesitated.
"Your grandfather has permitted it as well," the woman added. "He said you're old enough to walk a dog on your own, especially when he's as well-behaved as Roger."
Agasa. Shiho snorted. She was eighteen years old even though she looked like seven now. Of course that was old enough to walk a dog.
"What do you say?" The woman looked at her eagerly. She seemed to be pleased with Shinichi's idea. Maybe she doesn't have time to walk the dog herself today, Shiho thought to herself. Maybe I'd actually be doing her a favour…
"Yes," she heard herself say. "Why not?" It was just around the copse and back, after all.
It was nice, walking alone in the snow with the dog next to her. Roger didn't need a lead. He obeyed instantly and never strayed more than a few metres from her. There weren't any other tourists close to the lodge, so leashing Roger in order to communicate that he wouldn't pose a threat to anyone wasn't necessary either.
Reaching the copse, Shiho was deep in thought. She was still mostly annoyed Shinichi had arranged her walk with the dog without so much as asking her consent. Another part of her was also annoyed he would probably congratulate himself now on his ingenious idea to distract her a little from the constant threat the Black Organisation posed to her life and to the lives of all those who had helped her along the way. He could be unnervingly full of himself.
Maybe she was ungrateful. In the end, he was just trying to be nice. But—trying to be nice—that was sometimes hard to bear. She didn't want niceties from him. She wanted—
Shiho stopped. What did she want? For Shinichi to be less arrogant? Ha. She snorted. That would never happen.
Then what? For him to show, in any way, that he cared more for her than he would for … an ordinary girl? What naiveté. The Black Organisation would still be there, and if one of them didn't make it while the other escaped their clutches, the survivor would suffer all the more for it.
She sighed. Maybe the way it was now was for the best, for the both of them.
"—bara?"
She froze. There had been a faint sound.
"Haibara?"
That was her name. Well, it was her name now. She turned around.
"Haibara!"
"Kudo?" She blinked. Shinichi was running towards her "Didn't you tell our hosts you wanted to give me some alone time walking the dog?"
"Well … that was the original plan." Shinichi stopped next to her, catching his breath.
"And what is the current plan?" Shiho raised an eyebrow.
"There is no plan," he said. "Haibara. I just … It occurred to me I might have … ignored your own wishes when I arranged for you to walk the dog."
Shiho snorted. Now it was Shinichi who blinked in irritation.
"You're such a clever guy, Kudo," she said. "Sometimes it is as if you can read a criminal's mind. Other times…" Shiho shook her head. "Other times, you seem to have no idea what's in the hearts and minds of your friends."
Shinichi opened his mouth as if to say something, but Shiho interrupted him.
"How come you suddenly realise when you're bossing other people around? Did someone tell you? You never realised that when you tried to get me out of the way because some new piece of information might trouble me; some daring confrontation with the Black Organisation might endanger me."
"I'm just trying to protect you," said Shinichi.
"I know." Shiho sighed. "Did it ever occur to you that there are people who don't want to be protected from everything? I want to get a choice if I'm willing to take a risk or if I'd rather stay safe, but I can't make any choices if I don't know what you're planning!"
"Haibara…" Shinichi sounded exasperated. Shiho knew he wasn't seeing her point.
As if she'd ever rather wanted to stay safe than know what was happening; know Shinichi was alive and unhurt.
"Anyway, about the dog," Shiho said, sighing. "It was very kind of you to arrange that, but I'd rather you had asked me first. That is all."
"Sorry," Shinichi said.
"It's okay," said Shiho. It wasn't. It would only ever be okay if he stopped keeping his plans from her. But what use was it to press the matter if she knew that wasn't going to happen anyway?
They walked around the copse in silence. Shiho was tempted to point out that Shinichi had now thwarted his own plan to give her some alone time, but the truth was that she didn't mind his presence.
The wind picked up speed as they reached the end of the copse. From there, they would turn around and walk back to the lodge—or so they had planned.
"Damn, this wind is growing into a full-blown snowstorm!" Shinichi shouted against the wind. Shiho nodded.
"Let's hurry to get back to the lodge!" she shouted back, wrapping her woollen scarf closer around her neck. "Roger?" she then called for the dog. "Roger, come here! I can hardly see you anymore in this storm!"
The Golden Retriever emerged from a wall of whiteness that descended upon them. He walked close to Shiho, allowing her to grab his collar and hold on to it.
"I think the dog can bring us back even though you can hardly see your hand in front of your face now," Shiho tried to tell Shinichi. But when she looked around, he was nowhere to be seen.
"Kudo, where are you?" she screamed. "Kudo!"
"—bara!"
Goddamn it. He sounded so far away, but he had to be nearby! She could only have made a few steps since she last heard him talk.
"Roger!" she called the dog. "Where is Kudo?"
The Golden Retriever seemed to understand what she wanted him to do. Holding on tight to his collar, she let the dog guide her.
"Kudo?" she called again when the dog stopped. "Kudo, are you here?"
"Haibara!" A pained exclamation. "Let the dog guide you to the lodge and then send him back for me."
"I will do no such thing," Shiho said resolutely. "What has happened?"
"There was a pit in the road," Shinichi said. "I twisted my ankle. Honestly, Haibara, I'm only going to hold you up. The dog can help me get to the lodge afterwards…"
Wordlessly, Shiho extended her hand to him. He hesitated.
"Look," Shiho said, "you can either take my hand now or I'll just keep standing here until the storm is over. I definitely won't leave you alone here in the cold."
Shinichi grumbled, but in the end, he did take her hand. She hauled him out of the snow and he took the dog's collar; she didn't even need to prompt him to do so.
Then again, Shinichi was smart. But also exceptionally dumb when it came to protecting others. And stubborn. Most of all, stubborn. But so was she.
She supported Shinichi from one side while the dog took part of his weight on the other side of his body, lessening the pressure on his twisted ankle. That was an advantage of being stuck in the body of a light seven-year-old, Shiho supposed: You could have your whole weight carried by a middle-sized dog.
And that was precisely what Shinichi seemed to do. It was the only logical explanation why Shiho hardly felt his weight while she steadied him, putting one foot in front of the other while Shinichi limped on next to her.
The dog seemed to sense Shinichi's injury. He trudged on slowly next to them, sniffing the ground at times in order to keep them on the path.
Suddenly, Roger started to run, wrenching himself free from Shinichi's grip. Shinichi stumbled, almost dragging both Shiho and him to the ground. Shiho only narrowly managed to keep them both upright. They heard Roger bark in the distance, and then there were other voices too.
"Conan! Ai!" several voices exclaimed.
"Genta! Mitsuhiko! Ayumi!" Shiho and Shinichi shouted.
"Shinichi!" The Professor emerged from the whiteness. "Oh dear, what happened to you?"
"Kudo twisted his ankle, it seems," Shiho replied for him. "Can you carry him inside?"
"Of course!" Agasa picked him up while the children surrounded them.
"Conan!" Ayumi exclaimed. "Are you hurt?"
"It's nothing," Shinichi said from his place in Agasa's arms. "I just tripped; that's all." Shiho rolled her eyes. She didn't point out he hadn't thought it was nothing right after he had tripped.
They were brought inside and handed mugs full of hot tea while Roger's mistress examined Shinichi's ankle.
"It's just sprained," she informed them. "You're lucky you were out there with Roger, little ones. He's a trained rescue dog."
"So you're part of the mountain rescue team as well?" Shinichi asked with curiosity.
"Yes, I'm a paramedic," she explained. "That's why I'm so sure your ankle will be fine soon, my dear." She started to bandage it.
"Now, who wants to participate in my little quiz?" Agasa exclaimed to distract the children.
"Me! Me! Me!" Ayumi called out, and Mitsuhiko and Genta followed her to the other corner of the room.
"She's wonderful, isn't she?" Shiho said. "I think she knows exactly that we might need a moment or two for ourselves. I mean … this could have gone badly if we hadn't had Roger with us." Shinichi nodded.
"She is." He took a breath, as if he needed to brace himself. "But so are you."
Shiho stared. Shinichi blushed.
"I mean … I shouldn't have asked you to go ahead with the dog. I wouldn't have done that either, so…" He shrugged, unsure of what to say. "I'm just trying to keep everyone safe. Shield them from harm. But, I mean … I know you're smart … and brave … but you've gone through so much … and that's exactly why I should have known you'd never leave me alone in the cold."
"You're rambling." Shiho gave him an amused smile. Shinichi didn't reply. He stared to Agasa and the kids, dangling his legs; a nervous gesture, mostly.
"But you're right," she added. "Ever since my sister died, I have this urge to protect the people who mean something to me. The Professor. The children." She needed to talk past an inner inhibition as well before she was able to add: "And you."
The both of them had hesitated before mentioning one another. Did that mean…? Shiho wondered if she was overthinking a subtle gesture like this. Then again … they were both bad at talking about feelings, weren't they? So the fact that it was hard for them both had to account for something?
Shiho decided to subtly test her hypothesis.
"I'd never leave you alone in the cold," she repeated Shinichi's words, leaning her shoulder against his ever so slightly. He didn't move away.
Maybe, Shiho thought, things weren't as hopeless as she had feared.
Notes:
I ship ShinShi/CoAi since I was … uuh, 15, I believe? For a very long time, in any case. Still, this is the first time I'm writing this pairing. I hope I didn't do too badly.
Hopefully it's okay that the ShinShi in this is rather subtle… I realised it's difficult for me to write Established Relationship fics without establishing a relationship for a pairing in my fics first. That's why this fic is me approaching towards having them establish a relationship in my writing.
