Let me know what you think? Or if you have any prompts :) .com
The whole thing at started off as a way of all of them keeping in touch, because they all knew there was no way they would stay in touch the traditional way.
They were friends, summer friends for the most part, all of their parents spent the three month summer break at the same resort (one the Wilder's owned) so they had spent every summer together since they were kids.
The summer they decided to start up the channel also happened to be the year Karolina realised she was attracted to Nico.
She didn't seem to be the only one completely struck down by the girl when she walked through the door. The group was huddled around the TV playing Mario Kart when Nico arrived.
Alex spotted her first, and Karolina only turned because Alex had just stopped playing altogether. Both Karolina and Alex just stared, obviously completely taken aback but the change in the woman in just a year.
Nico stopped at the door, her eyes lingering on the TV before moving to Karolina and Alex, and, not that Karolina would admit it, she felt this odd sense of pride when Nico's eyes settled on her, a soft smile pulling on her lips.
They set up the channel that week, Molly's idea because she was fed up of going home and not having any contact with them when they left.
It had started off as a way of them documenting their holiday, then of them staying in touch once they left, each of them filming a video for their specific day.
The channel took off a year after they started it. It started with Chase, whose video went viral after he created a pair of fire throwing gloves and set fire to his dad's car. Then Gert, with her feminist ideals, took off on tumblr. Nico's make up and FX tutorials started getting a lot of traction. Molly was cute and sweet, and a damn talented dancer, so she was always getting a lot of attention. Alex was a gamer, and got a lot of attention right off the bat. Then Karolina caused a huge surge in viewers when she made her coming out video.
Karolina huffed as she sat down after turning the camera on, wringing her fingers together. "I'm shaking already." Karolina laughed nervously, her fingers raking through her hair. "This is gonna be tough."
After a deep breath she pulled a smile onto her lips and focused her eyes on the lens.
"Hey there, Runaways," She addressed. "You can probably tell what's coming next, judging by the title."
Karolina rubbed her knuckled against her cheek, a little laugh escaping her lips. "Okay, I'm not going to pussyfoot around it, I'm-" Karolina trailed off, rolling her eyes at herself. "I don't know why I can't just say it."
With another huff, she looked square at the lens, her face steely with determination. "I'm gay."
There was this odd, breathlessness and a weight lifting from her chest.
"Wow," Karolina laughed. "I didn't think that would feel so good."
Karolina proceeded to tell her story, about the church and how she grew up massively oppressed by them, how she hated herself for so long but didn't really understands why until last summer, but she didn't go into the details of that whole thing.
"I know this will probably cause some of you to unsubscribe but I think I speak to the rest of the Runaways when I say we are probably better off for that." Karolina shrugged, smiling and waving at the camera. "Bye guys, over to you Molly."
Karolina received a text from everyone that night.
'Mini Molly [17:34]: Proud of you, KD. I love you 3'
'Fire Bro [17:55]: That was so brave, Karo. Proud to call you my buddy '
'NickNack [17:56]: I'm sorry you had to go through all of that alone. That video was amazing, I'm so proud of you.'
'Gertrude [18:21]: Incredible, that was amazing. I'm here for you if you need me.'
'Wilding [19:30]: Well done, Karolina.'
The channel just skyrocketed from there, pulling in all different kinds of people from all different kinds of backgrounds and by the time they were nineteen (Molly was seventeen) they had hit almost five point five million and earning a little over six hundred thousand a year from their videos along, not including march and odd jobs they were given.
They had so many different opportunities over the years, meet and greets, Karolina being invited to Pride in New Orleans and a few other places, Molly getting the chance to dance in a music video for some new Disney songs, both Chase and Alex had job offers, Chase to help create complex machinery and Alex to help build websites, Gert had started up and was the face for an organisation that helped anxious and depressed teens and kids, and Nico was doing some professional makeup jobs in Boston.
The channel had given then so many great opportunities and after Molly had turned eighteen they headed out to California, renting a house together.
The house was huge, with a pool and a spare room they had filled with gaming stuff.
The living together thing was something Karolina dreaded, not because it wasn't something she wanted, to live with her friends, but because she was still struggling with her crush on Nico, and that had been easy to deal with when Nico as in Boston and Karolina was in Miami, and they only really saw each other through their laptop screens.
But it was a big house, there was six of them, she thought she could make it work.
Boy, was she wrong.
Nico was just everywhere, in the kitchen dressed in her comfies, by the pool in a bikini, leaving the bathroom in just a towel and Karolina just couldn't deal.
Nico walked into the kitchen one afternoon, freezing when she saw Chase and Karolina laying out tarp.
"What's going on?" Nico asked unsurely.
"Video," Chase answered, not even glancing at Nico but Karolina looked up, still on her hands and knees on the floor, taking in what Nico was wearing.
"You going out?" Karolina asked, sitting back in her hunches.
"Yeah, my parents set me up with this kid from a rival company." Nico rolled her eyes, Karolina knew Nico and her parents were on line ice, and Nico was just trying to keep the peace with them. "I thought this shit stopped in midivil times."
"Oh," Karolina frowned, forcing herself to nod. "Okay, text us when you're heading home."
"Will do," Nico promised, heading for the door and calling over her shoulder. "Make sure to clean up after this."
"We will," Chase called back. "Tough break."
Karolina looked at the boy, who was still entirely focused the tarp. "What do you mean?"
Chase stalled, a little frown on his face. "I mean, you like her, right?"
"What?"
"Nico. You like Nico." Chase offered, sitting back like Karolina. Karolina glanced at the door to the kitchen before glaring at Chase. Chase scoffed. "Gert is at a meeting, Molly is at dance practice and Alex is filming upstairs."
"I don't- I can't." Karolina sighed, settling on her hunches with a little huff.
This made Chase frown. "Why not?"
"We have something good here, Chase. All of us, I can't risk this."
"How long have you felt like this?"
"You remember the summer we started this channel?"
"Shit," Chase hummed sympathetically. "Years then?"
"I think it has probably always been there, I just realised it that year." Karolina shrugged. "It's been fine, you know? I used to only see you through a screen and that was fine."
"Now?"
"We live in the same house and she's going on dates." Karolina huffed. "It's tough."
"Maybe you should date," Chase suggested.
"Who? I don't have anyone who is interested in me."
"Uh, not true." Chase said. "You have hundreds of thousands of people who would date you in a heart beat. But, there is that barista I was telling you about."
"The girl from Starbucks?"
"Julie, she was staring at you the last few times we went there, maybe we should head over, try and get you a number." Chase said with a little shrug. "She isn't crazy, either, she'll be down for a one night stand but she wouldn't be mad if you wanted to date."
"We will see," Karolina smoothed out the remaining tarp, huffing as she sits back on her hunches. "What are we doing?"
Chase smirked, reaching around behind the kitchen isle and pulled out two paintball guns.
Karolina frowned, looking down at the tarp. "This isn't going to suffice, Chase."
—
Everyone bar Karolina was either out or in bed when Nico got home.
Karolina was sitting on the sofa, drinking the beer Chase had brought, mindlessly watching trashy TV when Nico fell down beside her.
"How was your night?" she asked, offering Nico her beer.
Nico accepted and took a long drink. "A nightmare, typical rich white boy with daddy issues."
Karolina snorted, taking her beer back.
"All he spoke about was his dads company, and how he will be taking over soon, and how much they were worth." Nico rolled her eyes, fixing herself so that she was leaning toward Karolina, though not quite against her, Karolina's arm running along the back of the sofa behind her.
"Sounds horrible," Karolina commented, her eyes moving to the girl tucked in at her side.
"It was, I wish I had just stayed in and took part in whatever you and Chase were up to earlier." Nico lifted her eyes, eyeing the flickers on paint in Karolina's hair. "What did you both do?"
"Chase got paintball guns,"
"We are never getting out deposit back," Nico grumbled and Karolina found herself smiling down at her. "Why do you watch this crap?"
"I wasn't really watching, I was spacing." Karolina admitted.
"You okay?" Nico questioned, looking up at her through her eyelashes.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm okay, just tired." Karolina assures, sliding down a little on the sofa to perch her feet on the coffee table.
"Yet you're up at almost midnight," Nico arches an eyebrow, shuffling an inch or two closer, nestling herself against Karolina's side, her head against her chest.
Karolina could feel herself panic rise in her chest, this was the first time they had been alone like this, and Karolina wasn't sure how to react.
She eventually let her arm fall across Nico's body.
"It's not that kind of tired."
"Mental?" Nico asked quietly.
"Yeah," Karolina nodded. "It's probably from the cross country moving."
"Yeah," Nico hummed.
Karolina let her eyes run over Nico, now shifted herself to rest her head on Karolina's lap.
"You look nice," Karolina commented.
"At least someone noticed," Nico snorted. "He was too busy checking himself out."
"He must be a total tool, then." Karolina whispered, unsure if she was overstepping or being to forthright with her crush.
Nico's lips hooked up into a smile. "A rich tool at that."
"The worst kind. I know this rich tool, her parents own some high end tech company or something." Karolina rolled her eyes when she felt Nico side-eye her. "Entitled brats, I tell you."
"You're a jerk," Nico whispered.
"I know,"
"I watched your video on the Uber over to the restaurant tonight." Nico said, and Karolina felt a spike of anxiety. This video had been different from the others she had done before, an acoustic cover of Lost in Japan by Shawn Mendes. "Your voice is beautiful," Nico said, turning onto her back, smiling up at Karolina. "And girls dig a girl who can play guitar."
"Mm, maybe I will finally get myself a girlfriend." Karolina laughed.
"It will be different here," Nico said. "You don't talk about it but I know it was rough for you back home, but it is different here."
"Restriction wise, yeah. Guilt wise?" Karolina shrugged.
"Guilt?" Nico frowned. "Why do you feel guilty?"
"It's nothing, it doesn't matter." Karolina waved it off.
"Come on, Karolina, you can't just keep this all bottled up." Nico said, reaching up to all Karolina's arm off the back of the sofa, wrapping it over her stomach and began tickling the inside of her forearm. "You act as some sort of councillor to all those young kids who are struggling with their sexuality, but you need to talk about it, too."
"I don't know how." Karolina admitted in a quiet voice. "I don't know how to talk about it all."
"Trust me, I know how hard it is to talk about your feelings."
"This isn't about feelings." Karolina said. "This is something about myself that I pushed away for so long that I don't know how to bring it forward anymore."
"What happened?" Nico whispered.
"I knew the church didn't accept homosexuality, so when I figured out what was wrong with me-"
"Hey," Nico whispered, giving Karolina's arm a little squeeze. "First you need to stop thinking like that."
"I don't- I know now that there is nothing wrong with me, it is just- it's hard to get out of that mind set." Karolina shrugged. "Anyway, you know what it was like, I was the poster child for that fucking church. I couldn't be gay, so I pushed it down, I ignored it until I just couldn't anymore. I told my mother after the summer we started the channel."
"How did she react?"
"She laughed, then the next day focused on homosexuality in her sermon and how it was wrong, she looked me in the eye the entire time." Karolina laughed gruffly, shaking her head, her eyes damp. "And at first I retreated into myself, I dated this kid at my school, Peter, he was nice and in love with a girl he couldn't have, so we had a deal to 'date'. But after a few months I was so angry and spiteful, so I decided I had had enough. I helped Pete get his girl and I made that video."
"I was so proud of you when I seen it," Nico smiled softly. "I could see the fear and pain in your eyes and I wanted nothing more to fly to you and just hug you."
"I was so afraid of literally everyone. You guys, my parents, the church, the viewers, my school friends. Everyone. But I was exhausted and hurting and I didn't know how else to tell everyone other than sitting down in front of that camera and just talking."
"I'm sorry you went through that on your own, but you're not alone anymore, Karrie."
"I- I spent years looking at girls, thinking they were attractive and having that heavy feeling of guilt in my chest because of it. I didn't get changed in the locker rooms at school, I wore my kit under my clothes then after I would get changed in the bathrooms because I felt like if I accidentally looked at one of the girls I was being a predator. There was this girl I had a crush on at school, her name was MJ, and god, did I hate myself for that, I cried myself to sleep so many nights because I would let my mind wander for a little bit then I was just feel so terrible for thinking about her. There was crushes on friends that ruined friendships because I couldn't even look at them anymore." Karolina explained tearfully, and even Nico was welling up. "I was so angry, at myself for letting myself be like this. At god for making me like this, at my parents, at the world. I spent hours and hours praying that it would just stop, whenever I had a thought I would pray. After I came out my mom sent me for 'treatment'." Karolina nodded to the wrist Nico was tickling, prompting Nico to look down, her fingers touching the rubber band there. "That's what that was for. Conditioning, associating gay feelings with pain."
"Karolina," Nico breathed, tentatively running her fingertips across her wrist. "Why are you still wearing it?"
"I don't know, a reminder, I suppose." Karolina shrugged. "It reminds me that I'm not that scared little girl anymore. I'm still afraid, so afraid, but I'm better."
"And I'm so proud of you." Nico said, and Karolina caught one of the tears that escaped with her knuckle.
"There was a girl, a runaway from the church." Karolina said in a hushed tone. "Her name was Skye, she was pretty, cocky, cheeky. Everything I didn't believe I was, and I was completely enamoured with her, and, for whatever reason, she was the same with me. We started sneaking around, and it was exciting, you know? Quick kisses in empty hallways and late night talks when she would sneak out of her room. I felt so guilting but so..."
"In love?" Nico prompted when Karolina trailed off.
"No, it wasn't love. I felt so guilty but so free. Skye helped me through a lot."
"Why did it end?"
"My mom found out, kicked her out." Karolina sniffed. "After she slapped me."
"She hit you?" Nico breathed. "I would- you would never expect that from her."
"Yeah, she was good at outward appearances." Karolina grumbled bitterly.
"I'm sorry," Nico whispered, using her knuckles to wipe away any tears that had fallen. "I didn't even notice you were going through this."
"I was good at outward appearances." Karolina laughed, wiping at her face. "You don't know it but you guys pulled me through all of that."
Nico smiled softly up at Karolina, her eyes fluttering closed when Karolina raked her hand through her hair.
"You are very brave, Karrie." Nico whispered, her shoulders relaxing.
"I hid a part of myself for years, that's not brave."
"That's surviving, but you came out, you stood up and faced your fear, and helped millions in the process." Nico sighed, looking up at Karolina with half open eyes. "You're good, Karolina."
Karolina swallowed, her lips hooking up into a half smile. "We should go to bed."
"Yeah, I'm up early tomorrow for work." Nico yawned.
"What's the job?"
"A huge haunted house is opening in Hollywood, they need someone to do the FX makeup."
"That's awesome!" Karolina smiled. "It is a recurring thing?"
"Yeah, like a proper job."
"I'm proud of you, Nico."
"Thank you. It wasn't what I thought I wanted to do but I enjoy it, and it pays really well."
"Especially when you're working in Hollywood." Karolina nudged Nico. "You're a big shot now, Nic."
Nico rolled her eyes. "It's just a haunted house, not a blockbuster movie."
"For now."
"Come on, Karrie. Bed time." Nico patted Karolina's lap as she pushed herself up, turning and offering up her hand. "I might even tell you about my big Hollywood gig when I'm home."
Karolina rolled her eyes, accepting Nico's hand and pulling herself up. "You do well and I might just treat you to a coffee when you get home."
"Deal," Nico grinned, holding her hand out to Karolina, and Karolina knew exactly what she wanted; the hand shake they had made up when they were kids.
Karolina obliged with a little smile; hitting their palms together twice, then the back of their hand once, then their palms again, this time keeping their palms together and sliding her hand up to Nico's wrist and back again, their pointer and middle finger hooking together briefly before they snapped them apart.
"You guys are losers," Chase commented through a yawn, heading for the kitchen.
Nico flipped the boy off as she headed for the stairs, Karolina trailing behind her.
"Goodnight, Nico."
"Hey," Nico gentle gripped onto Karolina's wrist, and Karolina had to resist the urge to tense up. She wasn't her mother. She wasn't in Miami anymore. "Thank you, for opening up tonight."
"Thank you for listening."
"Whenever you need me, any time, any place."
Karolina nodded, taking a step closer to Nico, dipping down to press a kiss to her cheek, whispering. "Goodnight, Nico."
Karolina turned without sparing a glance in Nico's direction, too afraid of what she might see in her best friends eyes. She just barely caught the 'uh, yeah. Yeah, goodnight.' that left Nico's lips before she closed her door.
She leant her forehead against the wood, her heart thumping in her ears.
—
"Let's go to Starbucks." Karolina announced the following morning, while Chase was sitting at the kitchen table, focused on his laptop.
"Sure, give me-" Chase glanced up, doing a double take and trailing off when he noticed Karolina was more dressed up than she usually would be for their Starbucks jaunts. "You look nice,"
"What? Pft," Karolina waved her hand. "Nah."
"You never wear slacks and a shirt when we go out, especially to Starbucks, they know you as the sweatpants lady."
"They do not, shut up."
Chase frowned, then gasped. "You are going to see Julie."
"What? No. No, don't be ridiculous."
"You are a terrible liar." Chase laughed. "Give me ten, I'm just finishing editing, then we can go get you a girl."
Chase was giddy as Karolina drove them to the coffee shop, telling Karolina everything he knew about Julie, but Karolina wasn't listening, she was too busy trying to work out in her head what she was going to say.
Starbucks was pretty empty when they got there, with two people in the line in front of them and a few more dotted around the shop, and Julie was working, smiling at the costumers as she put through their order.
"Hi, there, what can I-" Julie trailed off when she looked up and noticed it was Karolina standing in front of her. "Oh, hey."
"Hey,"
"Hi," Chase added, and Karolina shot him a glare.
Chase held up his hands in defence. "I'll go sit."
"What can I get you?" Julie smiled sweetly and, yeah, Chase was right, she was cute.
Karolina rhymed off the orders for everyone, and Julie had no problem keeping up.
"You look different not in sweatpants." Julie commented with a cheeky little grin, and Karolina groaned.
"Am I really the sweatpants lady?"
"Hey, that's not a bad thing." Julie assured, lifting her eyes to Karolina as she grabbed her cup. "Especially when you make them look as good as you do."
Julie was gone before Karolina could reply to that, heading off to finish her order.
It was five minutes before Julie set down the five cups, offering Karolina a coy little smile. "Can I get you anything else?"
"Your number, maybe?" Karolina said, surprised at how much confidence her voice carried. "I would quite like to hang out some time."
Karolina felt herself flush at the way Julie's lips hooked up into a smile, the barista plucking her pen from her breast pocket and holding out her hand.
"There are napkins right there." Karolina pointed out but placed her hand in Julie's anyway.
"I don't have lipstick on to kiss it and this is the next best thing." Julie rolled her eyes playfully. "Where is your sense of romance, Karolina?"
"Oh, you are trying to romance me?" Karolina played along, watching Julie as she scrolled her number on Karolina's forearm, accompanied by a little heart.
"Pretty girl like you deserves to be romanced." Julie popped her pen back in her pocket, resting her elbows on the counter and her chin in her hands. "Am I going to hear from you?"
"I have to wait the mandatory three days, I don't want to come across desperate."
"That's a dumb, heterosexual rule." Julie said.
"Would you rather we U-hauled?" Karolina cocked an eyebrow and Julie laughed, ducking her head and Karolina found herself believing that maybe she could feel for this girl how she feels about Nico. Eventually.
"Cute and funny, now that is a deadly combo."
"Maybe the more we hang out the more you will realise that I'm more than a pretty face." There was a hardness to Karolina's voice, and Julie definitely noticed, because she eyed her for a few seconds before nodding.
"I don't doubt that at all." Julie commented softly, and Karolina felt a little guilty.
"Sorry, I-"
"It's okay." Julie assured with a little smile. "There's a story behind that, one I hope we will get close enough for you to tell me."
Karolina nodded, grabbing the cupholder and smiling at Julie. "I will text you tonight."
"I look forward to it."
Chase was grinned at her as she approached. "How was it? It looked like it was going good."
"Yeah, I got her number." Karolina showed Chase her arm.
"Are you happy about that?" Chase questioned unsurely.
"I- I think so. She's not Nico but I need to get over that." Karolina said. "But she's nice, I don't want to use her for that."
"So don't, be upfront with her about it, all of it."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I will."
"Let's go, you know how Gert get's without her Coffee."
Karolina texted Julie when she got home, with her name to that she had her number, and asked her to texted her when she was finished at work.
She then spent the rest of the day alternating between editing the video she filmed with Chase the previous day replying to comments and tweets, and catching up on her friends videos.
She was almost done editing when a set of arms wrapped around her neck, startling her.
"Hey," Nico breathed when she pulled off her headphones, resting her cheek on Karolina's head.
"Hey, big shot." Karolina greeted.
"What's this?" Nico asked, ghosting her fingers over the number on her arm.
"Oh, a girls number, she works at Starbucks."
"Oh," Karolina really wished her could see Nico's face right now. "Look at you, putting yourself out there."
"Yeah, after our talk last night I felt like I just had to take the plunge." Karolina reasoned, gripping onto Nico's arm, giving it a little squeeze. "Forget about that, how was the gig?"
"It was really great,"
"Tell me about it?"
"Not tonight?" Nico requested. "I'm exhusted, I just want to go lie down."
"Oh," Karolina frowned. "Okay. Can I get you anything?"
"No, I'm going to go shower then head to bed." Nico's arms dropped from around her neck. "Night."
Nico left before Karolina could say it back, leaving a confused Karolina behind.
Karolina figured it had probably just been a rough first day, she knew Nico would want to talk about it tomorrow.
—
Nico seemed to be in a better mood the following day, gushing about her day yesterday and Karolina was happy for her, if a little confused as to the mood she was in last night.
They filmed a video with the six of them together, at Chase's request, playing a game of silent whispers.
Karolina has sat beside Nico, but quickly realised that was an awful idea when she spent the entire video just staring dazed at Nico's lips, not taking anything that the girl was saying in.
She spent the day texting back and forth with Julie, both agreeing to meet up the following day for 'anything but coffee', Julie had insisted.
Karolina had dressed herself up and headed downstairs where everyone was sitting at the kitchen table, Chase with a note pad in front of him.
"What are you guys doing?" Karolina asked, a bobby pin trapped in between her teeth as she fixed her pony.
Nico lifted her eyes, a little frown on her brow when she spotted Karolina, dressed in a pair of green slacks and a white shirt.
"Video ideas," Chase answered, none of the rest of them paying her any mind.
"No more with that paintball gun indoors. And buy armour, I still have a bruise on my lower back because of it."
"You look nice," Nico commented, and that got everyone else's attention.
"You do," Gert frowned.
"I'm going out, with a girl."
"A date?" Molly grinned.
"Kind of, yeah."
"Is it Julie?" Chase smirked.
"Who's Julie?" Nico frowned, looking a little hurt, probably that Karolina had told chase about Julie and not her.
"Just the girl I met at Starbucks," Karolina shrugged. "We're going to get a doughnut."
"Oh, the most romantic of sweet treats." Chase commented sarcastically.
"It was her idea, actually." Karolina scoffed, grabbing her keys. "I will see you guys later."
The date was nice, there was no talks of anything heavy, but Julie could sense her reservations when it came to touching and hand holding. So, after the first time she reached across the table to tentatively touch Karolina's hand, and Karolina tenses, she backed off.
"I'm sorry, I-"
"Don't," Julie smiled over at her, resting her chin on her palm. "You apologise too much, Karolina. Don't apologise for things that are out of your control."
After that everything when smoothly, and Karolina felt herself relaxing around Julie in ways she never could with Nico (there was always a part of her that had her guard up with Nico, in case she done something stupid).
Julie walked her to her car, handing Karolina little bag with a doughnut in it. "For Molly, since you said these are her favourite."
"Thank you," Karolina accepted the bag from Julie, letting their fingers brush together. "Do you want to do this again?" Karolina questioned unsurely. "I know I'm not easy-" Karolina trailed off when she realised how that sounded. "I don't mean-"
"I know what you mean," Julie laughed. "Look, you've got issues, everyone does, but I'm willing to do this again, it doesn't have to be anything serious."
Karolina nodded, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. "I don't want to hurt you."
"Well, lucky for you, Miss Dean, I'm more than capable of looking after myself." Julie said with a little grin. "Like I said, nothing serious. Hell, if it is friends you want, I'm here."
"I was the poster child for my mothers church," Karolina said, and Julie seemed to understand immediately.
"Okay, you have stuff to work through, I don't mind helping you with that." Julie assured. "Friends, friends with benefits, dating, u-hauling."
Karolina laughed at the little joke.
"Whatever you need, I'm here."
Karolina nodded, reaching out to take ahold of Julie's hand and giving it a little squeeze. "Thank you, Julie."
"I know what it's like, to hate yourself." Julie said. "Maybe we can exchange stories at some point."
"Okay," Karolina agreed. "Goodnight, Julie."
"Goodnight, and text me once you get in."
The door had just barely clicked closed when Molly and Chase slid into view, looking at her expectantly.
"So?" Molly prompted.
"Did you kiss her?"
"It was good, and no, Chase."
Karolina left a grumbled Chase behind as she heading further into the house, kicking off her shoes and moving to sit on the sofa beside Nico, who was watching Will and Grace reruns.
"How did it go?" Nico asked, not taking her eyes off the tv.
"Yeah, good." Karolina hummed. "She's really understanding, and it's nice to have someone who is in the same boat as me, you know?"
Nico nodded, turning to Karolina. "Are you seeing her again?"
"Yeah, I think so." Karolina nodded. "I don't know if it is going to turn into anything, you know, romantic, but I need a friend like me, I need someone I can vent to about this kind of stuff."
Nico nodded again, turning her eyes to the tv. "I'm happy for you."
Things got busy after that, between making videos, seeing Julie, and everyone working, Karolina rarely even seen her friends before ten pm.
She didn't see Nico much at all, with Nico's new job taking up most of her time, and when she wasn't working she was either making or editing a video in her room.
It was less than two weeks of seeing Julie when there was a news article about them.
Karolina hadn't even seen it at first, it had been her mother that texted her the link with the message 'don't bother coming home as long as you're practicing this sinful behaviour'
Karolina dropped her phone on the kitchen table and pushing herself away from it, the chair scrapping across the floor just as Nico appeared, leaving her bedroom for the first time in days while Karolina was home.
"Karolina?" She questioend softly, but Karolina couldn't hear her, her blood rushing in her ears as she stared at her phone. "Hey," Nico rushed over, cupping Karolina's jaw, prompting her to look at her. "What is it?"
Karolina shook her head, her chest tight and her entire body shaking.
"Okay, it's okay." Nico whispered, her fingers linking behind Karolina's neck as she brought their foreheads together. "I need you to breath like me, Karrie, your spiralling."
"She- I don't-" Karolina was panting, trying to catch her breath but couldn't.
"Can you tell me five things you can smell?" Nico whispered, and Karolina closed her eyes, a few tears falling.
"Uh, toast, mint, grass, cherry and, uh, you."
"Okay, what about three things you can hear?"
"A lawnmower, my headphones, Chase playing his game." Karolina said, her breathing better but still labours.
Nico nodded, her fingers tickling Karolina's neck. "What happened?"
"My mom," Karolina motioned to her phone and Nico picked it up, her thumbprint opening it up to her mothers texted message.
"Oh," Nico whispered, clicking the link. "On the plus said you both look cute together."
Karolina huffed our a laugh at the comment.
"I'm sorry, about your mom."
"I don't know why I was surprised." Karolina sighed, sinking down into her seat again. "We aren't even dating, the article is jumping to conclusions. And how did she even see it? She must look me up often because that is an obscure news source she definitely doesn't follow."
"She probably checks up on you."
"I thought she would come round to the idea," Karolina whispered, staring unfocused at her laptop. "Or at the very least become tolerant."
"Sometimes found families are better than blood ones." Nico said, and Karolina knew she was talking about the little family that had cultivated here. Most of them had issues with their parents, with Karolina and Nico not talking to theirs, Chase having spent years being abused by his father, Alex had always had issues with the pressure put on him by his parents, Gert's parents had trouble understanding her and Molly didn't even have her parents anymore.
"Yeah, I agree."
"Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and it's okay to hurt over this, Karolina." Nico said, glancing at her watch. "I have to go, I have work." She said, dipping down to press a lingering kiss to Karolina's forehead. "Call me if you need anything, I will be home as soon as I can."
"Thank you."
Karolina texted Julie the article before getting back to editing.
Julie [10:12]: You're a YouTube celeb 😱
Karo [10:13]: like you didn't know
Julie [10:13]: of course I did
[10:14]: busy?
Karolina [10:14]: editing
Karolina gnawed on her bottom lip before typing.
Karolina [10:15]: wanna come over?
Julie [10:16]: are you sure? People might talk 😏
Karolina [10:16]: then let's give them something to talk about
Julie showed up at the house half an hour later, and Molly beat Karolina to the door.
"Karolina," she sung. "Your girlfriend is here."
Karolina rolled her eyes as she walked down the stairs, offering Julie an apologetic smile. "Hey."
"YouTube pays well enough for a place like this?"
"You'd be surprised." Karolina nudged her head up the stairs. "Coming?"
They settled on Karolina's bed, music playing softly in the background as they both relaxed in silence.
"Julie?" Karolina whispered and Julie hummed in reply. "Can you kiss me?"
Julie cracked an eye open, turning to face Karolina. "I wanna ask you something first."
"Okay,"
"I was going through twitter today, a lot of it was us but I saw some people mention about how they thought you liked Nico." Karolina tensed at that, and Julie noticed, calmingly tickling her forearms. "I saw some things, and I guess I could see where they were coming from."
"What stuff?"
Julie pulled out her phone and pulled up Twitter, showing Karolina a few gifs; one of her during the whisper challenge, looking completely dazed and utterly in love. One of them during another video, Karolina distracted by her phone while she and Nico done their handshake, like it was second nature to them. There was loads of them hugged, a lot of them just staring at one and other.
Karolina could see where they were coming from, too.
"I'm sorry, Julie."
"Why are you sorry? You don't nothing wrong, you told me from the beginning that this wasn't serious, and I told you we could do friends with belief if you wanted." Julie shrugged, seemingly unaffected and Karolina felt herself relax. "I can kiss you if you want me too." Julie offered, pushing herself up into her elbow, towering over Karolina. "But it won't take away how you feel about Nico."
"I know, it's just- I'm lonely, and I haven't been kissed in years."
Julie nodded, cupping Karolina's cheek and smoothing her thumb over her cheek. "Just don't fall in love with me, okay? I don't want to break your heart."
Karolina laughed at the playful comment, rolling her eyes at her friend. "I'm sure I will be okay."
"Tell me to stop if it is too much, okay?" Julie whispered and Karolina nodded, her body shaking as Julie dipped down and kissed her. It was nice, and Julie was soft with her, her thumb continuously running over her cheek to keep her calm.
At first Karolina panicked, but after a few seconds she melted into the kiss, her hand finding its way up to her neck and pulling Julie in.
"Mm," Julie hummed, her eyes still closed when they pulled back. "Top three for sure."
Karolina rolled her eyes. "Shut up,"
"Wanna do it again?"
"Yes,"
—
They didn't leave the bedroom for the rest of the day, alternating between making out and just talking.
Karolina talked about her feelings for Nico, and how Nico didn't feel the same. She talked about YouTube and what it was like having people analyse her life like they had that morning, then she talked very briefly about home.
Julie talked about home, too, her childhood and how her father abused her when he found out she was gay.
The house was full when Karolina finally walked Julie to the door that night, their hair a little mused, both with big smiles on their lips.
Everyone knew exactly what had been going on.
"I spent years thinking I was broken, too."
Julie said, moving closer to Karolina, her hand on her hip as she kissed her. "I wasn't, and you're not. The world is, but it's getting better."
"Yeah," Karolina whispered, moving in to kiss Julie. "Text me when you get home."
"I will,"
Everyone was staring at her with shit-eating grins when she headed back inside, bar Nico, who had disappeared to the kitchen.
"It is none of your business," Karolina said before any of them could ask, heading into the kitchen.
"You look better from this morning." Nico commented, focused entirely on the coffee maker.
"I feel it,"
"I bet," Nico shot back, and Karolina frowned at the hostility.
"Are you okay?"
"I just- you told me there was nothing going on."
"There isn't," Karolina defended.
"Please," Nico scoffed. "You reek of hookup."
"Not that it's any of your business, but we just made out, and we're just friends."
"Friends don't make out." Nico shot back.
"I don't have to defend my relationship with Julie to you, Nico." Karolina said, trying to remain calm. "We aren't dating, we're friends, that's all you need to know."
"I'm your best friend,"
"You've been ignoring me for weeks," Karolina snapped, taking them both by surprise.
"I've been working, and you've been with Julie."
"That's not true, you spend all your time in your bedroom when I'm home."
"I have things to do, I'm sorry my life doesn't revolve around you."
Karolina sighed, nodding as she grabbed her laptop from the table. "I'm not doing this with you, Nico."
Karolina brushed past her best friend, holding her hand up when she heard footsteps quickly approach from behind. "Not tonight, Chase."
The footsteps stopped and Karolina made her way upstairs, locking herself away in her room again.
It was a few hours before anyone bothered her, and Karolina honestly expected it to be Chase, but when the door opened it was Nico's head that popped in.
"Hey," Nico greeted softly.
"I don't want to fight anymore, Nico."
"I'm not here to fight." Nico held up a McDonalds bag. "I got you food."
Karolina's lipped hooked up and she closed her laptop, motioning for Nico to enter.
"I'm sorry I was such a dick earlier."
"I'm used to it," Karolina said with a cheeky little grin.
Nico rolled her eyes, taking a bite of her own burger.
"She's nice, you know? And we're not dating, I don't have feelings for her like that, but I'm lonely, Nico. I haven't kissed anyone since Skye."
"I'm really sorry that I've been distant."
"No, you have this cool new job, I just miss you." Karolina said. "And I'm seeing this girl and I want to talk to my best friend about it, but it's like you don't want to know."
"I've just been overwhelmed, I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't care." Nico sighed. "Tell me about her? Is she a good kisser?"
"Really good," Karolina smiled. "She's nice, clever, sweet, and really big into her activism."
"That seems to tick a good few boxes," Nico laughed. "Why not date her?"
"That spark isn't there."
"That's something you can work on, though."
"Nah," Karolina hummed. "That's something that is just there, something in your chest that just pulls you to the person, that makes you want to spend every waking moment with them. Something innate in you that it just doesn't make sense to date anyone but them. Have you ever had that?"
"Not with someone I'm dating, no. You?"
"Same," Karolina hummed, not asking who Nico was talking about because she knew Nico would ask her the same in return.
"I don't even know if I believe in love." Nico admitted. "Everyone that I have seen who has been in 'love' has been either really horrible to each other, cheated, or broken up."
"I do," Karolina said.
"Why?"
"Because I need something to believe in, and I believe that one day I will fall in love with someone who loves me back."
"I wish I had your faith."
"You'll find someone, Nico. Someone who understands just how amazing you are. Someone who will realise you have one of the prettiest smiles on the planet, someone who will understand your dark humour, who will understand when you need space and when you need to be close to them. Someone who will understand that they cannot and will not get any better than you and will treasure every minute they spend with you." Karolina said, making sure to avoid Nico's eye. "You will find someone who will love you the way you deserve, and their love will never once waver."
"You think so?" Nico asked and when Karolina looked up she was smiled softly at her, something in her eyes that Karolina couldn't quite decipher.
"I think it is inevitable that someone will fall head over heels in love with you, Nico." Karolina answered honestly, and she knew that every feeling she had ever felt for Nico was glaringly obvious in her features, she just hoped that Nico wouldn't expect that of her and not realise.
"Thank you."
"Of course,"
—
Julie spent a lot of time at the house, and got to know her friends, and everyone took to her immediately, thought Nico was a little standoffish.
Her Instagram was starting fill up with photos of her and Julie, or just Julie, and there was too many photos of Julie in one of Karolina's old soccer jerseys and her underwear, her hair mused for anyone to believe they were just friends.
They had just finished filming a video together, a Q&A, and had tumbled into bed afterward, since they had the house to themselves.
"You know," Julie started, her head on Karolina's bare stomach. "I watched back a few of your recent videos."
"Mm," Karolina hummed, her hand raking through Julie's hair as she relaxed.
"Have you not noticed that Nico has been… different?"
"I think she's lonely." Karolina said.
"No, I don't mean in her own videos, I mean when you both film together." Julie propped her chin on Karolina's stomach. "She looks at you different. she has always looked at you in a way that I thought maybe she could like you back but it has changed. The way she looks at you, K, I think-"
"Please don't." Karolina whispered. "Hope is the worst part of all of this, I don't want anymore hope."
"Okay," Julie whispered. "I understand, I really do, I've fallen in love with my straight friends before, it's hard. But none of them looked at me like that."
Karolina paused for a few seconds. "Like what?"
"Like… every time you are speaking you have her full attention, and when you laugh she just smiles at you like it is the greatest thing she has ever seen. And she stares, K, a lot. And maybe that's just her, but to me, the look on her face," Julie shook her head. "I dunno, I think it might be love."
Karolina shook her head. "That's just Nico, she has always been like that."
"Maybe she has always loved you." Julie reasoned.
"No," Karolina said, because there was no way that was true.
"Okay," Julie conceded. "Are you going home for thanks giving?"
"No, my mum told me not to come home, you?"
"To my grandmas in Virginia."
"How will I go on without you here?" Karolina said dramatically.
"It will be very difficult for you, but you're becoming clingy, you need a break."
"It is just unbearable to be away from you, Julie."
"I know, I'm amazing."
Karolina chuckled, cupping Julie's cheek and running her thumb over her cheekbone. "Come up here,"
Julie don't as she was told, crawling up Karolina's body and kissing her. "Do you wanna put on some clothes, go get pizza and drive to the cliff? We can watch airplanes take off and land, or make out."
Karolina smiled. "That sounds nice."
—
Things slowly wound down on the lead up to Thanks giving.
Nico had the week off, Julie headed home on the Saturday before, while the rest of the house was heading home on Tuesday.
Karolina was in the backyard on the Monday before thanks giving, she had spent the afternoon messing around with her guitar before sitting on the edge of the pool, watching the sky turn from blue into that nice orange/pink colour that Nico loved but would never admit to anyone bar Karolina.
"You've been out here for a while." Nico's voice came from behind her, and Karolina found herself smiling. "We thought you'd drowned."
"Nah," Karolina motioned to the sunset.
"You okay?"
"You know, I am." Karolina nodded, pushing herself to stand. "I didn't think I would be, but I am. You?"
"I always feel a little off this time of year, with what happened to Amy."
Karolina offered Nico a little smile, she knew there was no point in trying to talk about it with Nico, she had said everything she had to say in the past. Karolina moved to pick up the guitar propped up against the sun lounger instead and took a seat at the edge of the pool again. "Come on then," Karolina encouraged, and Nico took a seat beside her.
"What are you doing?"
"Sing with me?"
"What?" Nico frowned. "No."
"I know you can sing, I've heard you." Karolina gave Nico a pointed look as she began strumming the chords to 'You're Still the One' by Shania Twain.
"I'm not singing,"
"That's fine, I will just keep strumming the opening until you do." Karolina shrugged.
And she did, replaying the opening three times before Nico sighed and cleared her throat.
Looks like we made it
Look how far we've come my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we'd get there someday
Karolina smiled over at Nico as she sang, her voice soft and breaking at some parts but, to Karolina, she had one of the sweetest voices she had heard.
They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holding on
We're still together still going strong
Nico gave her a pointed look and Karolina knew exactly what she was hinting at, so Karolina nodded and cleared her throat, reading herself to join Nico.
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
Karolina was surprised how well their voices seemed to fit, for their first time singing together. It wasn't prefect by any means but it was nice, their voices sounded nice together.
Nico motioned for Karolina to take the next verse.
Ain't nothin' better
We beat the odds together
I'm glad we didn't listen
Look at what we would be missin'
They said "I bet they'll never make it"
But just look at us holdin' on
We're still together still goin' strong
Nico joined in again, her hands clasped in between her knees as she leant forward, her voice coming out a little more confident than it had before, which made Karolina smile.
You're still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You're still the one I want for life
You're still the one I love
The only one I dream of
You're still the one I kiss good night
There was a softness in Nico's features as they sang together, her lips stretching into a smile when Karolina playfully ran some notes together and leant into her, nudging their shoulders together. She dropped her eyes to her feet almost nervously as she started singing again.
Karolina couldn't stop the huge smile that stretched across her lips when they finished.
"I didn't know you were capable of anything but pop." Nico commented when the song came to a close.
"I have a soft spot for country," Karolina rested the guitar on her lap and leant her arms across it. "So much for not being able to sing."
"I couldn't- I could just barely do it in front of you."
"Well, thank you." Karolina tapped her fingers against the guitar. "I was gong to suggest doing a video together, of that song, but I understand if thats not something you would want to do."
"I don't-" Nico sighed rubbing her hands against her jeans. "Can I let you know?"
"No pressure," Karolina assured, placing a hand on one of Nico's, giving her a little crooked smile. "You are really good, though."
"Yeah," Nico scoffed. "My voice cracks all the time."
"That's kinda sexy, though." Karolina shrugged, and Nico peered up at Karolina through her eyelashes.
Karolina felt her crooked little grin slacken into a soft smile, her eyes only leaving Nico's briefly, when the girls lips tucked up slightly, but they jumped back up to Nico's eyes pretty quickly.
Judging from the curious little look in Nico's eyes she saw.
"Uh, guys." Both Karolina and Nico's head snapped to the backdoors, where Alex was watching them curiously. Karolina felt guilt settle in her chest, she knew how Alex felt about Nico. "We're heading out for food, you two coming?"
"Yeah, I'm starving." Nico let out a nervous little laugh, quickly standing, grabbing her shoes as she done so and headed inside.
Karolina watched her go, trying her best to avoid looking at Alex but was left with no choice when Nico disappeared.
"Karo?" He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
"I think I will hang back."
Alex nodded once, like he understood. "See you when we're home."
"Sure,"
"Do you want anything brought back?"
"No, thank you."
Alex nodded, disappearing inside with a little smile.
Karolina called Julie for a while, more to hear her voice than to vent because she didn't really know what she was venting about, honestly, but it felt like something had clicked while they were sitting poolside.
She was in the backyard later that night, wrapped in a blanket as she watched the fire pit pop and crackle.
"Hey," Alex smiled. "Can I sit?"
"Of course."
"Look, you and I haven't been the closest, at least not for the past few years. We used to be pretty close, we used to play video games together, read comics together. I didn't know what had changed but-" Alex rubbed his hands together. "Nico, right?"
"What? No, of course not. I would never-"
Karolina trailed off when Alex places a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, this doesn't make you a bad person."
Karolina just started at him for a few seconds. "How can it not?" She whispered. "I'm falling in love with my best friend, a girl who my other best friend has feelings for."
"Your feelings are just as valid as mine, Karolina." Alex assured. "And, yeah, I did have feelings for Nico, but those have faded now, and that's how I know it wasn't love for me. But, Karolina, you've looked at Nico like she hung the stars since we were young kids."
Karolina swallowed the lump that was forming. "I can't, Alex." She managed to breath out.
"I know, you're still struggling, and that's okay, but you know Nico, she would not think of you in a bad light of you told her how you feel." Alex said. "I don't know, she might even feel the same."
"Yeah, right." Karolina scoffed.
"I saw her today, how she looked at you, she doesn't look at any of us like that." Alex admitted. "I'm not saying that to get your hopes up or anything, and it could've been nothing, but I don't think it was."
"She- I can't lose her, Alex." Karolina didn't even realise she was crying until Alex pulled her against him, holding her against him.
"I know this is hard on you, Karolina, I'm sorry none of us could help."
"I just don't know how to be okay with how I feel about her." Karolina whispered against his chest.
"I wish i could understand, I can related with a lot, with us both being a 'minority' but this I can't relate too." Alex rubbed her back. "But it is okay."
"In myself I know that, but there's always that little voice. Telling me how... perverse it is. And I know it's not, I know it's stupid but-"
"It sticks with you," Alex hummed. "I was always told at school that I didn't believe that, that people like me should be in the 'ghetto'." Alex rolled his eyes. "They were all entitled white boys but I still found myself feeling out of place at events or galas. That whole 'sticks and stones' this is bullshit, words cut deep and they stay with you."
"Yeah," Karolina sighed. "I'm sorry those boys made you feel like that."
"I'm sorry the world had made you feel like this." Alex gave Karolina a little squeeze as they lapses into a comfortable silence, Karolina with her head against his chest.
They were like that for a few minutes before the door slid open and Nico peeked her head out.
A soft smile pulled on her lips at the sight of her two closest friends. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah," Alex assured with a little smile.
"The movie is almost setup, do you guys coming in?"
"We'll be right in." Karolina said, pulling a smile on her lips as she sat up.
Nico nodded, eyeing Karolina with worried eyes but didn't ask, disappearing back inside.
"Alex," Karolina said when Alex stood and began walking inside.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you, and I'm sorry I pulled away."
"You pulled away from everyone, I didn't take it personal." Alex said. "But it's okay, we all understand."
Karolina nodded, and Alex fished his phone from his pocket, tapping a few times on the screen before turning it to Karolina.
"I took this today."
Karolina found herself smiling at the phone being presented to her. It was a phono of her and Nico sitting by the pool that day as they sang, the beautiful orange/pink sky in front them, reflecting off the water and giving both girls a beautiful glow around them. Karolina had her eyes closed, probably singing, and Nico was staring at her with a look of absolute, unadulterated love.
"See that?" Alex said. "That look she has? That's love, I believe she loves you back, Karolina."
"Can you send me that?"
"Sure," Alex smiled. "See you in there."
A few seconds later Karolina got the photo through and she instantly went to Instagram, uploading the photo with the caption 'happy place with my favourite person'.
The photo was up for less than a minute before Nico commented on it.
' . Now, come inside, I've saved a spot for you, and hid your favourite candy under the pillow'
Karolina smiled at the comment, reading Chase's reply as stood.
'I knew we had dudz!'
When Karolina entered the living room, Nico and Chase were fighting over the candy, Nico with her foot pressed to his chest to keep him away.
They both stopped when Karolina, looking sheepishly at her.
"She's hiding candy."
"I told you I bought it for Karolina, you should've got your own." Nico gave him one last shove and Chase moved, allowing Karolina to sit down between Nico and Molly.
"Thank you," Karolina smiled, accepting the candy from Nico.
"That was a really nice photo, who took it?"
"Alex, earlier today."
Nico smiled, scrolling through the commented of the photo, and Karolina leant closer to see, too.
"They seem to think we'd be cute together." Nico whispered, peering at Karolina through her eyelashes.
"Yeah, I've noticed that, too." Karolina hummed, her lips hooking up into a little smile as she stared down at Nico.
Their little bubble was burst by Chase belting out 'where the runaways are running tonight' in time with the movie.
Come the end of the movie Nico had wrapped them both up in the blanket Karolina had been using, her head against Karolina's chest while the girl ran her fingertips up and down her arm.
Everyone slowly said their good nights, leaving Karolina and Nico sitting, watching the menu screen of the Greatest Showmen, neither wanting to move. "I'll sing with you, for a video."
Karolina pulled her sleepy eyes to Nico, smiling softly at her. "Yeah?"
"Yeah, but can I chose the song?"
"Sure, what do you want to do?"
"Here comes the sun, by the Beatles." Nico requested.
"Okay," Karolina nodded. "Give me a few days to learn the cords."
Nico nodded, letting her head fall against Karolina's chest again, releasing a content little sigh.
Everyone bar Nico and Karolina left the following day, and Karolina spent most of the day in the backyard, learning the cord to the song while Nico lounged on the lounger beside her, her foot twitching along to the song, and she offered Karolina a little smile when she messed up.
Come Tuesday night Karolina had the song pretty much perfected.
"We could film it tomorrow and have it lined up for Thursday." Nico suggested that night, both girls lying-in the fuzzy carpet Molly had insisted on getting, with their heads beside one and other, feet in opposite directions as they shared a bottle of Jack.
"Okay, we can do that."
Karolina tweeted out that they would have something special for he viewers on thanks giving, and Nico replied with 'You guys are really gonna like it'.
There was speculation, most of which that it was their coming out video, but they both ignored it all.
After spending the morning recovering from their hangover, both girls headed to the backyard, Karolina setting up the camera with Nico sat nervously on the stool. Karolina spotted her in the viewfinder, the sunset giving her a godly glow.
"You're going to be great." Karolina assured, hitting record and grabbing her guitar.
"If I don't like it we don't post it, okay?"
"Of course." Karolina promised. "Ready?"
"Ready."
Karolina turned to the camera, her typical 'youtube' smile pulling on her lips. "Hey there, Runaway. We told you we had something special for you guys today, and as you can see we are in the backyard and I have my guitar and a Nico. I managed to convince Nico to sing with my today, and I need you guys to tell her how good her voice is because she doesn't believe me."
Karolina glared over at Nico just as she rolled her eyes.
"Okay, let's just get down to it." Karolina sat the guitar more comfortably on her legs, glancing at Nico. "Ready?"
"Ready,"
Karolina began strumming the beginning cords, clearing her throat as she readied to sing
Here comes the sun doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right.
Karolina looked at Nico through her eyelashes, waiting for the girl to sing. Nico looked nervous, but made eye contact with Karolina which seemed to give her the confidence to start.
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Karolina closed her eyes, letting Nico's voice wash over her before joining in.
Here comes the sun doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Karolina knew she was staring, she knew she was conveying every damn feeling she had ever had for Nico, but she really couldn't stop herself, not when Nico was singing and looked this good bathed in the sunlight.
Here comes the sun doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But Nico was staring right back, and for the first time Karolina found herself wondering if Alex and Julie were right, that maybe Nico did have feelings for her.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Here comes the sun doo doo doo doo
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
It's all right
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
There was that look in Nico's eyes again, the same one she had had when they sang a few days prior, but there was no one here to interrupt them this time, and Karolina was thankful for that, because after a fe seconds of just staring Nico surged forward, kissing Karolina with smooch force she almost toppled off the stool her was sitting on, but she quickly righted herself, dropping her guitar haphazardly onto the floor and sliding her hands up to Nico's jaw, pulling her in.
Nico stared at her with hooded eyes when they separated, and Karolina couldn't stop herself, she backed Nico up against the wall that separated their home with the neighbours, out of view of the camera, and kissed her again.
Nico kissed her back, her arms sliding around her lower back and pulling her closer.
Karolina pulled back, keeping her eyes closed out of fear of what she might see in Nico's eyes, her thumb stroking her jaw. "I've wanted to do that for the longest time." she breathed.
"So, don't stop." that prompted Karolina to open her eyes, her stomach clenching at the hooded look Nico was giving her.
"I- if this is just a one time thing, then please stop."
"I don't want it to be a one time thing."
That made a large smile blossom on Karolina's face. "Let me just stop the camera, meet me inside?"
"Okay,"
Karolina stopped recording, folding up the tripod and heading inside, sitting down on the sofa beside Nico.
"Nico," Karolina started after a few seconds, but before she could continue Nico was kissing her again, and karolina a let it happen, pushing herself up into her knees and lowering Nico back against the sofa, her hands braced against the arm of the sofa. "We're going to talk about this, right?"
"Yeah, but not right now." Nico assured, her hand moving to Karolina's cheek.
Karolina nodded, dipping down to kiss Nico again.
Their kisses were filled with giggled and nose bumps, and after about ten minutes Karolina moved to settle against Nico's chest, content as Nico ran her hand through her hair.
"I didn't realise how I felt until that night you kissed me on the cheek, and it's so stupid that's what made me realise it but I know now it's always been different with you." Nico admitted. "But then you started seeing Julie and I didn't let myself feel it, I couldn't because you weren't available anymore."
"I had to see Julie, I needed something, I was having all kinds is issues with my feelings for you."
"How long?"
"Have I known or have they been there?"
"Both?"
"I've known since the summer we started the channel, but I think I have always had feelings for you." Karolina admitted. "Seeing you was the best part of my summer. Everyone knows, too, how I feel."
"Why don't we take a photo and send it to them?" Nico suggested with a little grin, and Karolina snapped a quick picture, Nico kissing her head while Karolina beamed.
She sent the photo to the group chat with the message 'guess who got their shit together. Ps, Miss you guys'
'Mini Molly [20:34]: finally'
'Fire Bro [20:34]: Fuck yeah !'
'Gertrude [20:35]: I knew there was something going on.'
'Wilding [20:35]: I'm happy for you guys!'
'NickNack [20:36]: 💋'
"Did you ever feel guilty about how you felt about me?" Nico asked.
"God, yeah." Karolina said. "I almost didn't move out here because I didn't think it was fair to live with you without you knowing how I felt."
"Did you think I would be mad?"
"Honestly, the guilt was never about that. It was about everything else, how I thought of myself, and me living with you and you not knowing felt kind of perverse to me. I felt like I was taking advantage."
"Is that why you were funny with me when we first moved in?"
"Yeah," Karolina laughed. "I tried to keep my distance, which was dumb because I never could stop myself from being around you, no matter how hard I tried."
"You struggled so much, and you had no one to talk to."
"That's why I needed Julie, it's was never about dating or sex with Julie, I just needed someone got it, who understand how it felt. And I know, on some level, all of you guys understand at least part of it. Chase didn't understand the discrimination thing, with him being a pretty, straight white boy. And I know I'm a white girl, I can't understand the things you, and Alex and Molly have been through. But chase understood the, uh, parent side of it, you know? But you all understand one way or another; Alex with his school, Molly being told she wasn't thin enough to be in music videos, Gert being labelled a feminazi for trying to make the world a better place. And you, being laughed at by tech execs when you said you were the kid of the people who owned the company." Karolina sighed. "People are horrible, they discriminate based on looks, and race, and I haven't been subjected to that so I know what I've been through isn't as bad, because I can hide it if I need to."
"Hey," Nico frowned, smoothing her fingertips down Karolina's cheek. "Don't downplay it."
"I just- I didn't think you guys would understand the guilt, because it's dumb, but it was someone installed in me since I was young. To hate myself for everything little thing I do, to pray and ask for forgiveness for stupid little things that kids do."
"It sucks," Nico sighed, gently scratching Karolina's scalp. "That you didn't get experience high school romances, they are one of the worst things out there but they can be fun, and it's not fair that you were robbed of that."
Karolina shrugged, snuggling closer to Nico. "I get you, that's all I've ever really wanted."
"A smooth talker." Nico murmured sarcastically. "It's an absolute wonder no girl has snatched you up before now."
"It's been useless, all could think about was you." Karolina lifted her head, batting her eyelashes at Nico, grinning when the girl blinked in surprise, her cheeks tinting red.
"Okay, that was smooth." Nico grumbled, rolling her eyes when Karolina quickly kissed her on the nose.
Karolina sat down to edit the video later that night, Nico pulling her to sit in between her legs on the sofa while Nico leant back against the arm rest, flicking mindlessly though the channels.
"Might just leave the kiss in," Karolina teased, expecting Nico to immediately get defensive, but Nico just shrugged.
Karolina didn't, because they still had to talk their was through their relationship, and she didn't want the views putting their two pence in before they really understood what was happening.
Everyone came home on Friday, Chase looking exhausted but her pulled on a big smile and picked Karolina up into a hug. "My girl getting her girl!"
Karolina laughed, pulling back, Chase still lifting her off her feet. "You okay?"
Chase's smile turned sad as he shook his head. "But I will be."
Karolina nodded, wrapping her arms around Chase neck and holding him close, planting a lingering kiss on his forehead.
Nothing really changed after she and Nico started dating, with the exception of Karolina stopping sleeping with Julie, and Nico was jealous at first, that they still hung out together, but Julie sat down to talk to her (against Karolina's wishes) and told her just how much Karolina worshiped Nico. After that Nico and Julie actually became friends, even joined both girls (and sometimes the rest of them) in videos.
And, after a few weeks, Nico started sleeping in Karolina's bedroom nightly.
It was a little over two months before they ended up telling the views, not that they didn't already know, there was a shift in their videos and the photos that they posted that told everyone exactly what was happening.
It was Karolina who confirmed it with a photo of instagram.
It was a photo of Nico, sitting at the bottom of Karolina's bed, wrapped up in Karolina's high school varsity hoodie that was too big of Karolina, so it drowned Nico. Nico had her knee tucked up against her chest, the hoodie hooked over her bare leg, and her sleeve covered hand covering her face. Thankfully, you could still see the smile she was sporting.
Karolina posted the photo with the caption 'I have the prettiest girlfriend on the planet. Fight me on that 😍'
There was an influx of support from their viewers, the rest of the runaways, as well as Julie, commenting on the photo, but Karolina knew it was coming, the message from the parents.
But, surprisingly, it wasn't her mother she received a message from, it was Nico's.
'I know Nico and I aren't on great terms, but just know I'm happy you both finally found each other.'
Karolina knew what Nico's parents had done was unforgivable, hiding the Amy thing, being the cause of what Amy had done, how they had treated Nico, but it was nice to have some sort of support from the parents.
Karolina's mother never did texted her, and Karolina found herself not caring, she found herself not caring that her mother disapproved of her.
She didn't need her parents, she had Nico, and the Runaways, and Julie. She had her family, and while it wasn't a blood family it was better, because these people loved her fully and unconditionally, and Karolina was so full of love that she didn't miss the messed up, manipulative thing her mother called love.
She was happy, in this house full of people who shouldn't fit together but do. She was happy with her grumpy girl who she shouldn't fit with but, god, did they fit well together.
She was happy, happier than she ever thought possible under the oppression of her mother and that church. And her mother wasn't going to that this away from her.