Modern AU: A last minute booking, a confusion about rooms and the arrival of some unwanted faces make heartbroken teacher Hiccup Haddock's last minute winter break more exciting and eventful than he had ever planned.

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon. Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.

A/N: I couldn't resist this-this is based on a story idea from Vala 411 with a few harrypanther modifications. And because who doesn't like to read about a holiday which seems to be a disaster from start to finish (almost)? Happy New Year everyone!

-o0o-

ONE: Booking Boo-Boo

It had been a last minute impulse, born of a fear of going crazy staring at the walls all alone over the New Year so Hiccup Haddock had booked a room and headed for Berk's winter playground up on Dragon Mountain. Not that he had any plans to go skiing or snowboarding but he was just desperate to get away from his now empty apartment and all the memories swirling around the cold space. So he had packed up his winter gear, brought his ski boots-just in case-and caught the crammed train from Berk to the resort high up and a long way from the town. It was pretty much the last train of the year and everyone but everyone was desperate to make the trip for New Year's Eve. So he had spent two hours standing in a corner of the carriage because there were no seats, being elbowed intermittently by a large woman loudly discussing how 'her Errol' would love his first time skiing.

Lightly bruised and exhausted, he had walked from the freezing station, almost slipping on the single platform and had found there were no buses or taxis available because they had already been reserved. So he had fastened up his skiing jacket, pulled on his mittens and trudged down the slope towards the town of Dragon's Edge. He squinted and adjusted his large green bobble hat. Town was a generous description of a cluster of large Ski Lodges, three shops, a handful of restaurants and several Ski hire places. Sighing, he slung his backpack over his shoulder and trudged through most of the town to the furthest lodge on the borough, a green and brown painted chalet-style construction bearing the bold sign 'THORSTON LODGE'. Squinting at the slightly lopsided sign, he trudged in.

The Lobby was warm and a large fire was burning in the open fireplace as he trudged in and hastily unzipped his jacket. The temperature was roasting and he blinked before he walked to the wide desk where the two shapes were arguing.

"I cannot believe you did that!" the female snapped, She was tall and lanky with a long face, three long fat blonde braids and irritated expression in her pale grey-blue eyes. The male facing her was almost her mirror image though he had darker eyes and his hair in long blond dreadlocks. Both were identically dressed in khaki shirts and pants, brown boots and brown leather waistcoats.

"Hey, Butt-Elf-I'm the one who can't believe you did it either!" he retorted. Then he paused. "What did we do?" She huffed in exasperation.

"We had one room left and you…"

"Um...hello?" Hiccup said, arriving at the desk and wondering of he had arrived in the right place. "Can I check in?" The two concierges jumped and glared at each other before the female darted forward first and gave a very unnerving smile.

"Well to Thorston Lodge!" she said hastily. "What can we do for you?" Fishing out a printout of his booking, Hiccup handed it over.

"Can I check in, please?" he asked as she stared at the sheet with a shocked expression. "My name is Hiccup Haddock." She took a breath.

"Oh, I'm sorry but we…"

"No problem, my man!" the male concierge interrupted, shoving the woman aside and slamming a key onto the counter. There was a large black wooden plaque attached to it in the shape of a bat-like dragon with the red number 12 painted under the varnish. "Room 12-the top room in the Lodge."

"Top room?" Hiccup asked, feeling the female glare at him. The male grinned madly.

"Aha," he said. "As in on the top floor, under the eaves. Best view in the hotel of the slopes and there's even a balcony for those mornings when you want to freshen up your lungs…"

"Or possibly freeze them solid," Hiccup added sarcastically. The male rolled his eyes.

"Why does no one like my balcony?" he asked.

"Because it's a stupid idea," the female concierge told him."Especially in Berk. In Devastating Winter. With all the blizzards…" The male pushed a paper slip in front of Hiccup, elbowing her aside.

"It's a brilliant idea," he argued, being shoved back. "Could you fill in the guest card here-here-ow!-and sign there. Gettoff!" Flicking a look at the concierges who were fighting, Hiccup sighed. It was like being back in his class at Raven Point High School in Berk, a public school serving the poorest and roughest areas of the town. Being a Science specialist, he found even his fairly boundless enthusiasm waning as the students failed to respond and almost no one chose his carefully planned and absorbing classes. There was also a lot of messing around but Hiccup wasn't a pushover-he was just a decent, supportive educationalist who wanted to do his best for his students. And though he couldn't bellow like his father, he could get his point across, taking a pride that those students who had taken his classes had come back and many had gone on to college to do science subjects. He swiftly completed the form and signed with a flourish.

"Done," he said, being completely ignored by the squabbling concierges.

"Muttonhead!"

"Butt-Elf"

"Idiot!"

"Harpy!"

"HEY!" Hiccup snapped and the two looked up. "If we could just finish this, I really just want to unpack and sit down…" Sharing a look, the pair brushed themselves down and gave eerie identical smiles.

"Thank you, sir," the female said. She straightened up a badge that read 'RUFFNUT' while the male put his name badge on upside down though Hiccup tilted his head and read the name 'TUFFNUT'. "Our assistant will help you with your bags. Is there anything else I can do for you?" Hiccup nodded.

"Could you arrange for ski hire please-and book me a table for dinner tonight-say at seven?" The female nodded and made a note.

"SNOTLOUT!" Tuffnut bellowed and a stocky shape with jet hair peered round the door from the office. His regular face was irritated.

"What? I was just watching the Christmas Movie…I mean, 'Elf' is just my favourite movie of all time and..."

"Christmas is so last week!" Tuffnut told him superiorly. "New Year is the big thing now-and we have a guest here needs taking up to Room 12…"

"What? But that's a LONG way up…"

"And we have a guest…" Tuffnut wheedled.

"Why is it when people come here to be active all day and go out clubbing all night, that they are suddenly incapable of carrying their own bags up two flights of stairs?" the man who was apparently named 'Snotlout' snarked.

"SNOTLOUT!" Ruffnut snapped and then turned back to Hiccup with a false smile in her face. "I'm sorry-minor staff issues," she added and made a punching gesture at the reluctant bellhop.

"I'll see myself up," Hiccup said tiredly, not wanting to watch the trio argue any longer. He had had more than his fair share of arguments in the last few weeks and he was tired. "Which way is it?" Ruffnut sighed.

"All the way along to the end of the Lobby, door marked 'STAIRS' and up to the top floor. It's the only room. I'll send Snotlout...someone up with towels in a few minutes." She forced a smile onto her face. "Enjoy your stay!" He nodded and turned away, not missing the hiss of:

"...said we would honour which one turned up first."

"Yeah-but the wrong one turned up!"

Ignoring the clearly very eccentric pair, he headed for the stairwell and walked up two floors to the top level to find himself faced with a door labelled '12'. Unlocking it, he walked into a very large room with a king sized bed, two wardrobes, a large couch and coffee table and the door to what turned out to be a very sumptuous marble bathroom with double shower, bath, basin and toilet.

"This room is almost as large as my bedroom," he commented as he turned around and caught sight of himself in the mirror. Tall and skinny as ever, his pale face was haggard and there were shadows under his glorious green eyes, His auburn hair was a disaster, wilder than ever and he looked uncared-for. No wonder the concierges-no matter how weirdly they have behaved-were suspicious about admitting him. But he was here now and the break would do him good. He would go out, get some fresh air and exercise, read the books he had downloaded onto his phone, maybe even draw and try to get over his past relationship which made him feel worthless.

Quietly he stowed his things in the wardrobes, put his phone to charge by the bed and walked to the contentious balcony. And then he felt his breath stolen by the view across the mountain. Quietly, he unlocked and opened the door and walked out, feeling the cold air on his face and taking a deep breath. His eyes swept over the vista and he sighed at the sun gilding the snow, the slow lines of the ski lifts trailing up the slopes with the winding white highways of runs dipping between the pine forests. And he felt a pang of pain shoot through his chest.

Despite how beautiful the place was, he was still alone and dumped. He just had to hope it would be a happier New Year.

-o0o-

Astrid Hofferson pulled up in the packed car park behind the Ski Lodge and scowled. There was a small space at the back and she had to try reversing in three times before she could park and actually get out of the car as well before grabbing her bags and gear from the trunk and making her cautious way towards the entrance. Her rehab had been going better than even she had expected and her Physio had given her the all-clear to get back on snow. And where better than the place she had learned to ski, all those years ago with her parents and her beloved Uncle?

She walked into the lodge and smiled: the Tour had taken her all over Europe and seeing an Alpine Chalet-style lodge brought back all sorts of positive memories. Confidently, she walked up to the desk and stared at the two concierges-definitely siblings by their similarities-and cleared her throat. The both looked guiltily up.

"Excuse me-I'd like to check in please," she said confidently.

"Name?" the woman asked.

"Astrid Hofferson," she said and produced her printed reservation. "You are expecting me." The male stared and opened his mouth.

"Ah, yeah, well, there's been a…"

The female punched him.

"Delighted to see you, Miss Hofferson," she said. "We have your room ready." She scuffled with the male concierge and snatched a key off him: the large wooden fob was painted like a blue Nadder dragon with the orange number 12 painted on it. "It's our best room on the top floor. Excellent views and of course, a balcony if you want to take the air…"

"Hey-that was my balcony!" the male protested. "You can't claim the balcony when you dissed it earlier! I demand respect!"

"Would someone be able to help me with my bags?" Astrid asked, shaking her head and wondering if she had accidentally checked into an asylum.. "And could someone store my skis, sticks and boots in the ski garage?" The woman banged her fist on the door to the office.

"Go away!" a voice floated from within. "I haven't finished 'Elf' yet!"

"Snotlout, I have a guest here to take to her room," she snapped. The head poked round the door and the man opened his mouth to retort but then he caught sight of Astrid. Slender, beautiful with golden hair braided over her shoulder and cheeks flushed with the cold and a determined look on her face, Snotlout's blue eyes widened and then he adopted a dopey expression.

"Well, hello Gorgeous," he said lecherously. "Where are you off to?"

"My room-I hope," she said with a small smile. "Could you help me with my bags, please?" There was a crash and Snotlout vanished but appeared again, wiping crumbs of potato chips off his hair and grinning cheesily as he emerged from the office. He gallantly grabbed her huge ski bag, boots bag and sticks and stumbled towards the back of the Lobby. "I'll just put these away…" he wheezed as he wrestled the door open, tripped over the boot bag and tumbled down the stairs. There were a selection of crashes, groans and finally something went BOING! But as Astrid sped to the top of the stairs and peered into the cellar, a voice echoed up. "I'm okay, Princess! Now if you can just help get about seventy pairs of skis off of me, we'll get you to your room."

-o0o-

Hiccup had come back inside and made himself a coffee before sitting on the couch, his hand-knitted green jumper rumpled as he stared at his phone. He hadn't changed his wallpaper yet so the screen showed him hugging a slim, bright-eyed woman, her face filled with a smile. She was pretty, her bright blue eyes and wild blond hair framing her face. Giving a sigh, Hiccup rubbed his thumb over her image.

"I still don't understand what I did wrong," he sighed. "I thought we were good, Camicazi. I mean, I always tried to do everything you wanted to do. Why… Why did you have to hurt me so?" He sighed. "Why wasn't I good enough?"

He looked up as the door opened and a very pretty blonde woman appeared in the doorway. Hiccup gestured to the bathroom.

"Just put the towels in there, please," he said in a defeated voice-and then started as the woman marched into the room, pointedly flung her bags onto the bed and stormed over to glare down on him.

"What the Helheim are you doing in my room?" she demanded. He looked up.

"This is my room," he told her as she glared at him and planted her mittened fists on her hips.

"Excuse me," she snapped. "But this is my room-booked and paid for. You're in the wrong place!" He rose, feeling intimidated by her looming over him and found he topped her by a head before he walked to his bag and fished out the confirmation.

"I'm afraid you are mistaken, Miss," he said firmly, showing her the confirmation. "This is my room. I booked it, I paid for it-and what's more, I was here first." She growled in her throat and snatched her own booking receipt from her bag.

"No, you're mistaken!" she retorted aggressively and waved it in his face. "This says the room was mine-also bought and paid for. So why don't you pack up your rubbish and get OUT of my room?"

"Because it's MY room," he replied, hanging onto his temper tightly. He was generally a calm and kind man who tried to reason his way through things but this raging Valkyrie wasn't making life easy for him-especially since she was almost vibrating with rage. He really hated confrontation and this wasn't doing anything for his hopes of a quiet getaway for his wounded heart to recover. Astrid folded her arms.

"Okay, Mister Liar,' she sneered. "Let's see who has the right to this room. Show me the time your booking was accepted. First one gets the room." They both scanned their respective confirmations.

"December 30th," Hiccup began.

"Nine thirty two AM," Astrid continued.

"And forty-one seconds," they both concluded and then stared at one another. "WHAT?" They swapped documents and then stared.

"This can't be right," Astrid snapped and compared the two.

"I think it is," Hiccup replied, retrieving his own receipt. Astrid tossed her head.

"Never mind," she said. "Do you know who I am?" He looked her up and down, his gaze admiring. Apart from what seemed to be a pretty fierce temper and severe obstinacy, she was beautiful, determined, intelligent and clearly rich, looking at the make of skiing jacket she was wearing. While he would make most tramps look well-dressed.

"Nope," he confessed.

"Really?' she asked, deflating a little. He shrugged.

"Sorry. Not a clue." And then he saw her expression fall a little. "Um..am I supposed to? No, wait...we didn't go to school together did we? Because I have probably blanked all of that time out...I mean it wasn't great and…"

"NO!" she interrupted him, her tone exasperated. "I am Astrid Hofferson!"

"And…?" he prompted her.

"Astrid Hofferson? The Astrid Hofferson? Hoff the Valkyrie? Ring any bells?"

"Nope. Got nothing. Should I know you?" he asked. She exhaled in exasperation.

"Of all the cloth-eared lunatics on this ridiculous island, I get this one," she muttered. "Astrid Hofferson. Junior World Champion in Ski Cross. The only person from the island of Berk who has actually ever stood on an Olympic Podium. Ring any bells?" Hiccup shrugged.

"Actually, no," he confessed. "Not a big sports fan. My Dad would have known who you were. Or Gobber, my unofficial Uncle. Or probably my actual Uncle who I haven't seen since I was five. Not me. Sorry." Astrid wanted to faceplant against something at this moment. Instead, she rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"Look, my point is that I need to be here to get some vital time on snow," she argued. "I have been off the Tour for four weeks because my rival for the Overall title took me out and I ended up with a broken wrist. I need to be here because I need to ski and the Archi Series Ski Cross Race-which is also a World Cup-is being held here on the 3rd which will give me a great chance to see where I am in my rehab and training…" She stared at him. "So you see-I need to be here. So can you just pack up your things and go?"

He looked at her and then back out of the window.

"No," he said. "I may not be some skiing Pro or the only Olympic Medallist to come out of Berk-I mean, I am not even the only teacher to come out of my family! But I've had a horrible Christmas, I've broken up with my girlfriend and I need to get away from my apartment and all the memories there for a few days or I may go mad." And he turned to see her unimpressed expression. "And none of this means anything to you?"

"This is my career, my life!" she told him bluntly.

"It's my life as well and I need this," he sighed and then he frowned. "Look, if you're a Pro, why don't you live in some snowy place anyway?"

"I do," she said sourly. "But there's been a huge rainstorm over Berserker Vale and practically all the snow has gone. So I booked the last room here."

He sighed.

"So did I," he reminded her. "And for your information, Miss Self-Centred, I can't get back until after the holidays. The last train has left and there is no other way back." He chewed his lip and realised the truth. "You have a car don't you? So you can go somewhere else and leave me to my room!"

She scowled at him.

"You mean my room?" she taunted him and then turned to the door-to see the shape of Snotlout standing there with her bags. "Put those over by the wardrobe!" she commanded.

"I think I'm in love…" he drooled. Astrid elbowed him aside and he yelped. Hiccup scowled.

"Actually-you should take them back to the Lobby as she's leaving," he told the stocky man.

"Put them over there!" Astrid growled.

"Take them to the Lobby!" Hiccup insisted. Snotlout dropped them and sat on the biggest case, pouting.

"I'm not going anywhere until someone says please," he sulked.

"PLEASE!" Astrid and Hiccup said together. Snotlout scowled.

"You didn't really mean that," he pouted.

"Come along, whoever you are," Astrid snapped, glaring at Snotlout. "We'll clear this up with the concierges right now and then you can go and find your way home when they give me my room!" Hiccup clenched his fists. Easy-going he may be but he wasn't a complete pushover and this blonde female's determination to steal his room was starting to annoy him. The physical similarity to his ex wasn't helping his mood either but he was sure it was some honest mistake and that the hotel would fix it. He didn't mind swapping rooms but he would be damned to Jotunheim before he gave up his desperately needed holiday.

Astrid was sprinting down the steps and Hiccup sped after her, arriving a few steps behind her at the desk. There was, not surprisingly, no one to be seen. Irritated, Astrid rang the bell. And again. And again. Frowning, Hiccup walked round the desk and rapped on the door to the office.

"No one is here!" a female voice called from the other side of the door.

"Nope. No one at all," a male voice added. Hiccup shook his head and tried the door. It didn't budge-but Astrid was at his side, scowling at the door.

"Allow me," she suggested and kicked the door in. She stood back. "After you." He nodded.

"Thank you, Miss Hofferson," he said and she blushed.

"I don't actually know your name," she said.

"Later," he said as they walked in-to find the two concierges hiding behind a small desk proudly bearing the sign "RUFFNUT AND TUFFNUT THORSTON-PROPRIETORS".. They shared a look and pointed at each other.

"It was his/her fault!" they shouted at the same time and ducked back down behind the desk. Hiccup frowned.

"You knew yesterday when we booked and you could have said something or contacted one of us," he said sternly. "Why didn't you?" Astrid folded her arms.

"I'll tell you why!" she snapped. "Greed. Pure greed!" Tuffnut popped up and glared at her.

"Hey, Missy-I'll have you know more people have failed to turn up to this chalet than any other in the whole of Dragon's Edge!" he announced. "We were hardly about to turn away a booking when one or both of you might not have turned up."

"What do you mean more people don't turn up here?" Astrid demanded. "What's wrong with the place?"

"Did you even consider what to do if we both turned up?" Hiccup asked them sternly, staying on point. They twins shared a look.

"Um...we were going to give the room to the person who turned up first," Tuffnut admitted in an embarrassed voice as Hiccup gave a small "YES!" and a fist-pump. Then he pulled himself together.

"So why did you give me a key?" Astrid asked in a suddenly softer voice. Ruffnut sighed.

"Because we didn't want to turn you away," she sighed. "I mean that gets a Chalet a bad reputation…"

"And double-booking rooms doesn't?" Astrid snarked back, her eyes flaring again. She bit her lip and her shoulders dropped again as she turned back to Hiccup. She was clearly struggling and then she sighed. "I am sorry," she confessed. "I-I was in the wrong. I mean...I wasn't but you had booked the same room and you got there first and...I guess I'm out of luck as well…" But as she turned away, Hiccup caught her shoulder.

"Wait," he said quietly and then turned a baleful glare on the concierges. "This isn't fair-to either of us but definitely not to Astrid. So what are you going to do about this?" They shared a look.

"Um, do we have to?" they asked as Hiccup prowled closer.

"Yes, you do," he told them sternly. "You took both our money and sold us both the same room. So you have to find replacement accommodation or refund Astrid's money."

The concierges stared at look.

"Give…"

"...money…"

"...back?"

Their tone was aghast.

"I believe selling something you don't have is called fraud and is a criminal offence," Hiccup explained firmly as they looked outraged.

"Aw c'mon!" Tuffnut protested. "Selling a room twice is a crime? Gimme a break. Next you'll be telling me that selling a room you don't have is a crime. Or calling blackcurrant juice with homebrewed vodka 'vintage claret' is a crime. Or serving processed fish sticks as 'Arctic Cod' is a crime. Is there anything that isn't a crime? Oh Thor, why do you make life so confusing?" Hiccup and Astrid shared a look.

"Pretty much everything that doesn't involve lying, cheating and selling some cheap replacement as something it is not for far more money. Basically," Astrid snarked. "Thor, it doesn't say that on 'Trip'N'Go'. All the reviews were really positive…" Then she frowned. "Did you two write them?" Both immediately looked guilty.

"Not all of them," Ruffnut said.

"Yeah, the staff posted some as well…" Tuffnut explained and then slapped his hands over his mouth. "Oops…"

"I just want a room," Astrid sighed. "I mean, Felicia will be too far ahead in the rankings if I don't score anything in the race on the Third and my season will be over. I have to practice…" The siblings shrugged.

"Sorry," they said. "All the staff are doubled up. We share a room. Snotlout is sleeping in the Janitor's closet! We really don't have anywhere…" Glancing over, he saw Astrid chew her lip and then she looked defeated. But she lifted her chin and smiled.

"Refund my money now and I'll see if anywhere has a cancellation…" she said but Ruff shook her head.

"Everywhere is full," she said. "We're always the last one to fill up. Sorry." The skier swallowed and then sighed.

"Could you get my bags from the room, then, and I'll go home," she sighed.

"Wait!" Hiccup interrupted and ran his fingers through his wild hair. "Look-I am probably going to regret this-but do you want to share?"

"Share?" Astrid asked warily.

"SHARE!" the twins whooped, high-fiving. "RESULT!"

"No," Hiccup said sharply. "If Astrid agrees-and by the look of her face, the answer will probably be no anyway-you refund half the money to each of us. And you throw in a meal tonight at the restaurant-with no vintage claret or Arctic Cod but food which is actually what it is supposed to be!"

"Awww…" Ruffnut moaned.

"Or we start posting reviews on Trip'N'Go telling the truth about this place…" he threatened. Tuffnut looked outraged again.

"You wouldn't!" he protested. "We gave you my balcony!" Hiccup raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, we would," Astrid told him and looked over at Hiccup. "Yes," she said firmly. "I hope you don't snore…"

"I don't… I think," Hiccup said while scratching the back of his head. "I'm usually asleep at the time so I can't be a hundred percent…" This caused Astrid to laugh and clap Hiccup on the back.

"Funny," she said. "I like that." He blushed and dipped his head for a second.

"Um...thanks," he murmured. "So...shall we go back up?" She smiled and linked her arm with his.

"Only if you tell me your name," she told him. He gave a small, embarrassed laugh.

"Ah, well...you see...that's the funny thing and...Hiccup Haddock," he admitted. To give her credit, she only smiled.

"Could be worse," she told him as they headed back up the stairs.

"Really? How?" he asked her.

"Horace? Gaylord? Satan? Adolf?" Hiccup's eyes widened. "What about, Mooky, Hubert, Sue?" Hiccup raised a brow as if to ask if she was alluding to that one song called 'A boy named Sue'.

"Seriously? I mean calling your kid Horace is just child cruelty," he commented dryly. "I still think that Hiccup is probably the worst name in the Archipelago...maybe except Satan or Horace." They reached the room and Hiccup opened the door and let Astrid in. Finally, both in the room, Hiccup gestured. "Make yourself at home," he invited her as she cast around.

"There's only one bed," she pointed out. He nodded.

"Sorry-not sleeping on the floor," he said firmly. "You stay, you have that side of the bed."

"That side?" she asked with a smirk. He nodded.

"I've always slept on the right side of the bed," he explained. She smiled at him.

"So have I….."

"Uhm…. rock, paper, scissors?" Hiccup suggested and Astrid nodded, immediately in position. "Competitive, eh?" he guessed.

"Always," she grinned.