A.N: Hey guys!
I know I haven't written anything in forever, but I was concentrating on my novel – If any of you want to read it I will give you the details soon.
Anyway – This is a Reylo one-shot (albeit a long one). I don't think ben will join the light by choice, I think he will be forced into it.
I hope you enjoy it and I wouldn't mind a little review.
Steffy2106
Switching Side:
"This is not a negotiation, nor a surrender -This is the end of the resistance!" Hux sneering voice resonated through the baffles on the wall of the cave which had been used as the Resistance base for the past 7 months.
Poe ran his hand through is hair. "What are our odds?" He asked turning to Finn.
Finn grimaced gripping Rose's hand tighter. "He has a 230L tsunami canon. Should be fully charged in the next 10 minutes – If we go full speed on the sliders now, it should give us just enough time to get out of range, we might just make it." He explained already pulling Rose to one of the 3 sliders owned by the Resistance.
"What's the range of the weapon?" Rey asked standing in Finn's way. She didn't miss the guilt flash in his eyes, and she knew the answer before he even replied.
"25 miles radius." He breathed looking down at his dusty overused boots.
"Voss-Ka." Rey gasped. "We can't…" She shook her head. They had already lost too much, if they sacrificed a whole city – A city, a planet kind enough to welcome them when nobody else would, made them just as bad as the First Order. Rey knew she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't stop that.
We are just two side of the same coin Rey, neither of us are innocent. Right and wrong, heroes or villains… it's all perspective. Ben had told her during one of their recent force bond moment and she couldn't accept he had been right.
Ben please – don't make me regret this blind faith. She silently prayed as she turned to Poe who had naturally become the Resistance leader after Leia plunged into a Coma following Luke's ultimate demise.
"Do you trust me?" She asked him.
"Of course, I do Rey. Wh-"
"Do you trust I will do anything in my power to spare all the life I can spare…including ours?"
"Yes but-"
She nodded, reaching for the microphone. "Time if for blind faith – It will all be clear soon. How can you prove you destroyed us?" She asked in the microphone.
The line crackled and she knew Hux could hear her, despite the silence.
"We might be halfway through the mountain for all you know, we might not be on Voss anymore. Hell, how would you prove you killed us? We will become legends – much more powerful that way. Resistance is built on hope and what is stronger than legends? But – "She stopped, waiting for him to speak.
"But?" Hux asked, reluctance dripping from his voice.
She grinned, he took the bait. Ben had been right, he was nothing more than a 'power hungry mongrel' as Ben so charmingly called him. "What if I could give you the three most hated members of the Resistance with the promise of them being compliant.? What-"
Finn came to stand beside Rey and pressed the mute button. "Rey I'm not sure I like where it's going."
"We need to trust her buddy." Poe rested a soothing hand on Finn's shoulder, keeping his eyes on Rey. He needed to see her certainty too but where him and Rey had nothing to lose by sacrificing themselves – Finn had. He had Rose, and their little baby growing inside of her.
"I know what I'm doing." She confirmed removing Finn's hand from the panel.
"I'm listening – " Hux added and she didn't miss the eagerness in his voice.
"We'll come to you, no trick no resistance and you will get to execute us publicly in front of the First Order. Succeed where your Supreme Leader consistently failed." She saw Finn throw a panicked look to Rose who grabbed the desk corner for support.
Poe look of complete faith started to slip away as he scrutinised Rey's face for an answer of some sort.
She let go of the button. "I know what I'm doing and what choice do we have now anyway? We didn't have enough sliders for everyone and we're not even certain we could have made it out of firing range. No matter what the outcome is – it was the only way to secure a future for your child Finn and you know that."
Finn's facial expression turned to resignation as he nodded. "I know- but a heads up would have been nice."
"What do you want?" Hux spat
"Two things." Rey took a deep breath. "One, I want you not to hurt anyone. Power down the machine once we're in custody."
"Done – I couldn't care less about Voss and the slime who live there. What else?"
Rey rolled her eyes at Hux's arrogance. She had seen in Ben's head how much he despised him, and she could completely comprehend it.
She held Poe's eyes. "I want to be executed first."
Poe gasped. "No…" He started.
Rey shook her head, jaw set. "Do we have a deal?"
"It will be my greatest pleasure. You have my words scavenger. You have 5 minutes to reach the surface with your two traitor friends. Once the shackles are secured and you are in the ship, we will leave this planet the way it was."
"We're on our way. Finn say your goodbye – let's go."
"Rey…." Rose's voice broke. "Please bring him back to me. I can't –" She chocked on a sob, rubbing her barely visible stomach. "Not without him."
"Yes, you could but I will do my best do bring him back to you Rose. Once we're gone, get on the slider and get as far away from the ship as possible."
She turned to Finn. "Poe and I will be waiting by the cave entrance, you have two minutes."
"Do you even trust him?"
"Hux?" Rey asked glancing at Poe.
"Yeah."
She snorted. "Not for a second but he is a good strategist and he knows that starting a war with Voss will damage an already dented First Order." She shook her head. "He is committed but not stupid."
"How do you know all that?" Poe asked, and it sounded like a broken record.
Rey had known so many things during the past few months – things she shouldn't have known, things Ben had shared reluctantly in order to protect her. And as usual she simply shrugged it off – She couldn't tell him, he wouldn't understand – Makers! She barely understood herself.
"How can you look so…so…."
"Calm?" She smiled looking at Finn walking toward them. "Because I have faith."
Poe took a deep breath before stepping in the old elevator which would take them to the surface. "Faith in what?"
In the bond between Ben and I, Faith in him stepping up. He was Ben more often than he even realized and she knew that, she hoped that, the feelings she felt in the dark corners of his mind would surface. "Faith in the Light." She replied evasively as she exited the darkness and stepped into the blinding light of the warm day on Voss.
"Well at least it's a beautiful day to die." Poe feeble attempt of a joke made Rey smile a little wider as Finn growled, rolling his eyes.
As the shackles locked around her wrist, she tucked at the mental string to open the bond between her and Ben. she needed him to know what was happening.
It took only seconds to hear it in her head – his deafening roar – a roar full of anguish, pain, betrayal, anger and above all a feeling he probably didn't even realize was there… Love.
"So, what's the plan now?" Finn asked from the cell he was sharing with Poe.
"I don't know buddy – "He turned toward the cell across the hall where Rey sat in a Lotus position, eyes close. "You need to ask her." He pointed at Rey.
"Rey? I know you told us to have faith and all that, but we are so deep in this giant ship while pasty white dude is organising our executions. No offense, but I'd like the reassurance that I'll see my baby grow up."
Rey opened her eyes and stood up. "The wheels are in motion Finn. It's the only way. I know it…how saw it."
At this moment, a stormtrooper stopped in front of her cell opening the door using an access card.
"Leave now." He commanded stepping out of the way.
Rey stood straighter, squaring her shoulders. "No."
"What the –" She heard Finn mutter from behind the gigantic stormtrooper standing in front of her.
"Rey…." And the frustration in the voice was clear despite the robotic tone behind the mask.
"I said no, Ben." She crossed her arms on her chest, tilting her chin up. "I won't leave without them," she pointed at the cell across from hers. "And I won't leave without you." She added with certainty.
"Ben? You've got to be kidding. Ben as in Kylo psycho Ren?" Finn whispered, and she didn't need to look at him to hear the incertitude in his voice.
"This is a moot point Rey, it's not a negotiation. You are leaving, they stay, end of story."
"Make me." She challenged him.
"Don't tempt me." His voice sounded placid, and she couldn't see his face behind his mask, but he was close enough of her to feel his anger, his frustration and his underlying panic.
"You can't force me to leave and you know that. I will alert any and all."
He took his helmet off, glaring at her, his hair a curly mess making him almost vulnerable despite his apparent coldness. "Then you'll die." He growled through clenched teeth.
She shrugged. "I lived longer than I expected."
Ben took a step toward her before grinding his teeth, visibly rethinking it.
"Then die!" He barked, slamming the door shut and turning around, exiting the room without a look back.
"We're so dead." Finn muttered to Poe. "I won't see my kid, I never even really said goodbye. All that for… "
"One-minute buddy." Poe tried to sooth his friend. "He was the one saving you, wasn't he? It was not sheer luck. He was telling you, I don't know how…. It was never a 'Jedi thing' it was always Kylo Ren."
She shook her head. "No, it was not Kylo Ren, it was Ben Solo." She replied, trying to keep the guilt of lying to them for so long at bay. Now was not the time for apologies, she just hoped that day would come. "You wouldn't have believed me if I'd told you about it. We had to listen, and it was the only way. Ben wouldn't let me die."
"Tell me I didn't make a mistake listening to you." Poe asked, anger having left him. "Tell me you're sure enough to have bet our life on it."
"I'm sure." She replied trying to sound as certain as she could despite the doubt starting to seep through the cracks of her resolve.
"I can't believe you've put our lives in the hands of Kylo Ren." Finn hissed angrily as they stood in line as Hux delivered his dull speech about arresting the worst threats of the First Order.
"I've put our lives in Ben's hands." She quickly glanced at him, trying to see anything in his impassive face as he sat on his throne looking down at them – looking almost bored
But Rey wasn't fooled, they were too close to each other and his feelings were too overwhelming for him to hide them efficiently behind the closed bond.
She could feel the anger he felt for her, Hux and even himself and his despair, the despair at the inevitability of what was bound to happen. One way or another there was no turning back now, not anymore.
"Scavenger step out." Hux shouted, forcing her attention back to him.
Rey stood straighter and took a few steps toward him. "You are accused of murdering of our former Leader Snoke and for this you shall be given death. "He turned his head toward the Executioner, jerking his chin to signal him closer. "Do you have anything to say for yourself?"
She felt Ben despair grow at the same time as his resolve and, for the first time since she exited the cave, she felt her trust waiver. Has she made a mistake? Was his desire for power stronger than his desire to belong with someone?
She had seen it though, so vividly – him and her standing together, hand in hand. It was so real, and this vision was too perfect to be Snoke's doing. It brought her such a sense of belonging – something she never thought she would ever find. They had been completing each other, standing side by side…surely even he could see that.
"A beautiful dream..." She whispered looking down with defeat. She closed her eyes as she heard the execution blade come to life.
She heard the whiz of the blade being raised but then nothing…. not a movement not a sound.
She opened her eyes to see the executioner frozen in his movements. She turned her head to see that everyone on the platform, all the hundred plus spectators, including Hux, were frozen except for Poe and Finn.
Ben was standing up, his hands extended on both side of him, his neck strained under the extreme mental force required to freeze everybody in place.
"Run…now. Left gate." He huffed, jerking his head in the direction.
Rey looked around realising that the shackles she had been wearing, along with Finn's and Poe's were now lying on the floor.
"You go" she told them pointing at the direction Ben just mentioned. "I need to help him, he won't be able to hold them alone."
"But-" Poe stated but Rey didn't hear as she rushed to Ben.
She took his hand and let her force flow threw him. His face relaxed slightly, and she was pleased to provide him a relief from exhaustion.
"You need to go now Rey." He muttered through clenched teeth as the Millennium Falcon appeared at the end of the platform.
"You called him?" She asked in awe, gripping his hand tighter.
"Very pleasant conversation let me tell you." He snorted with a sardonic half smile. It was the only kind of smile he ever gave her but, as always, it made her heart beat a little faster.
"Now go" he said more forceful. "I will not be able to hold them forever. A few more minutes at best… Rey please." He let go of his perfect coolness mask for just a second, letting place to his desperation and weariness. "Don't let my stupid heroic gesture be in vain."
"I'm not leaving without you Ben." She answered stubbornly, keeping her fingers intertwined with his. "If you stay, they'll kill you." She added knowing that Hux was waiting for any opening to finish him, and his public betrayal to the First Order along with his weaken state after using so much power would be the end of him.
"Better be dead than be a weak lovesick fool!" He barked, before realising with horror what he just admitted out loud. "I didn't mean it like that… I meant their misguided perception."
Yes, you meant it. Rey thought, not able to stop the rush of glee that filled her. "If you die, I die." She added standing straighter, showing she meant every word.
Ben let out a grown of frustration before pulling her with him down the platform toward the falcon. "We have to run now, because I don't think they will hold more – "
He didn't get to finish his sentence that Hux roared "Traitor!"
Ben muttered a curse, increasing his speed puling Rey so strongly that it was causing her pain.
The first shot of blaster hit the metallic frame of the Falcon as soon as they stepped in.
Rey just had the time to close the door before Chewie departed at full speed making her stumble into Ben's strong and warm arms.
He tightened his hold around her, looking down at her in a sort of awe, his eyes stopping on her rosy lips.
"Welcome back to the light Ben Solo." She murmured, wetting her lips in the hope that he would lean just enough to give her a quick kiss.
Rey realised her mistake as his eyes grew cold and his jaw tightened.
He let go of her almost violently, making her stumble back against the door. "The Light? I didn't want to come back! You took any choice I had away from me!" He roared leaning over her threateningly.
Rey just raised her chin in defiance, she wasn't scared of him – She knew him better than he knew himself and he might not know it yet, but he surely would rather cut his own hand than hurt her again…. Well at least not physically because he was still very much an emotional terrorist.
"You had a choice Ben solo!" She poked him on the chest with her forefinger as hard as she could. "It might not have been an easy choice but that's what make them worthwhile."
Ben grabbed her finger tightly in his fist. "A choice?" He asked his voice laced with incredulity. "You gave me a choice?" He let out a humourless laugh. "Don't play stupid Rey. You knew very well you were using my only true weakness."
"Your weakness?" She pressed.
"You –" He let go of her finger with a weary sigh. "You, and my poisonous feelings for you! You know if I had to choose between you and the world, I would choose you. I would let the world burn without a hint of remorse if it meant you were safe."
"Dude he basically told her he loved her." Finn blurted out.
This caused both Rey and Ben to turn sharply toward them. Rey had completely forgotten they had an audience and, based on Ben's expression switching from vulnerable to fury, he too had forgotten.
"Out!" Ben shouted, his neck's veins suddenly visible under the vehemence of his shout.
"Nice one buddy", Poe elbowed Finn in the stomach. "Because of you we won't know how it will end."
"It will end with me reaping both of your tongues out of your mouths if you're not out in the next 5 seconds." He snapped taking a step toward them.
"Ben, listen –" Poe started raising his hands in a peaceful gesture.
"Do. Not. Use. This. Name." Ben growled taking another threatening step toward them.
"But she –" Poe pointed at Rey
Ben raised an eyebrow, daring him to continue his sentence.
Rey rested a soothing hand on his forearm, ready to restrain him should he try to launch for Finn or Poe. "Could you please leave us?"
"Just call us if you need us okay?" Poe insisted stepping toward the door.
"She won't…" Ben replied darkly.
Poe opened his mouth, but shook his head thinking better of it. "Just- See you later."
Once the door closed behind the two other rebels Ben turn toward Rey.
"What am I to do now? Roam the world as a fugitive? Be your puppet?"
She glared. "I didn't manipulate you, if anything you manipulated me! Made me feel…things." She admitted uncomfortably.
"Welcome to the club of unwanted feelings." He stated but his words lacked heat.
"Just be Ben Solo. I'm rather fond of him."
He sat heavily on the bench facing the door. "Ben Solo…" He tried, the words foreign in his mouth. "I've not been Ben Solo in so long." He looked up to her. "I don't know how."
Rey stood in front of him, running a tentative trembling hand in his hair. She was not used at receiving or giving affection and he was clearly not used to it either. He could very well reject her touch and then what? "I'll help you." She whispered, letting her hand trailed down from his hair to his cheek in a soft caress.
Ben closed his eyes. leaning in her touch. "There is so much hurt, pain and betrayal. There is no coming back from what I did." He moved his head slightly, leaving a gentle, almost reverent kiss in the palm of her hand. "I am not a good man." He added resting his forehead against her stomach. "There is…There is no forgiveness for what I did."
She rested her hands on his head, caressing his soft curls again. She realised that she needed the softness and warmth of the moment as much as he did. "We'll take it one day at the time, one sin at the time." She leaned down as to cocoon him with her strength. "But be sure Ben Solo that I will stand by your side every step of the way. You're not alone, you're not lost, the darkness has not won."
"You and I?" He asked, wrapping his arms around her.
"Always." She replied realizing that Maz had been right. What she was looking for had always been in front of her and was now in her arms.