After August

Our Courage (Chapter 10 of 10)

Taichi paused in front of the Tachikawa family's apartment. Hikari stood beside him, her red-brown eyes a heavy weight. A November wind whoosed down the outdoor walkway, and the siblings shuddered. The once-impressive collection of plants beside the entry was gray and shriveled, each one prepped for winter in a fresh bed of mulch.

Hikari stepped forward, raising a fist to knock. Taichi grunted, and she paused and looked up. He tried to hide his discomfort, but naturally, she had already noticed.

"It's okay, Onii-chan." A small smile lightened the weight of her concerned expression. He nodded, but offered no response.

Taichi thought he was looking forward to the Chosen get-together, but now that he was here… Well, now anxiety crept down his nerves like vines, slowing every signal. All he could do was watch as Hikari knocked.

Footsteps padded towards the door. It drew back, and Mimi appeared, her face alive with excitement. "Taichi-san! Hikari-chan!"

Hikari was almost swallowed by Mimi's bear hug. "I missed you!"

Somehow, Mimi managed to squish her even harder. "I missed you, too! Come in, you're the last ones!"

"Sorry," Hikari sighed. "Onii-chan took forever to get ready."

"Did not," Taichi replied, without heat. He hadn't primped for the party, but he had dragged his feet and fretted. That restless energy had already depleted him, and he watched Hikari kick her shoes off and trot into the apartment with envy.

Voices floated from the living room, tones so familiar that Taichi paused with his foot half out of his shoe. His eyes slid shut, and he heard a crackling fire in the darkness, almost lost beneath the Chosen laughing and chatting. Of course, on especially bad days, there was groaning, muttering, even crying.

But the kids sounded happy now, and Taichi focused on that.

"C'mon, Taichi-san!" Mimi gestured impatiently from the hallway. With effort, Taichi shook off his memories and followed her.

His first impression was of bodies in a tight space. The Tachikawa apartment was tiny, meant for three people. The living area had just enough room for a television on a console, a coffee table, a small sofa, and a circular table against a half-wall that separated the space from the kitchen. Mimi's parents bustled beyond the half-wall, prepping the food piled on all available surfaces.

A strange sensation overcame Taichi. He nodded to the group, eyes sweeping over each child. When no major problems appeared, he scanned the room. It took him a moment to realize that he was taking stock of the situation, checking the area for danger and his team for injuries or discontent.

He barely heard the chorus of greetings from the Chosen. He tried to smile and respond appropriately, but his brain struggled to slide out of leader mode and into party mode. His gaze bounced from face to face, like a bird scanning for a safe landing site.

When he looked at Koushiro, all thoughts and moods came to an abrupt halt, the kind that leaves car pileups in its wake. Taichi's heart rate progressed from fast to ballistic. Koushiro leaned towards him with a slight nod, his dark eyes gleaming, his smile game and a little manic.

In the Digital World, that expression instantly caused a huddle. Koushiro was seated at the table now, along with Eimi, Jyou, and Hikari, so Taichi couldn't reach him without stepping on half of the Chosen, but he inched closer, regardless. Koushiro's Look of Discovery was like a lighthouse, guiding the way for lost Chosen.

"You're late," Yamato snapped. Blinking, Taichi turned to the sofa, where Yamato and Sora sat, with Takeru in between. Taichi scowled. He was much more interested in whatever Koushiro was thinking than in dealing with a Yamato Mood.

Yamato threw an arm over the back of the sofa and cocked his head, eyes still on Taichi's. "Now that we're all here, I want to tell you about the work my parents are doing."

Mimi paused her attempt to fit another plate of snacks onto the coffee table. "Huh? This is a party, not a meeting."

"I know," Yamato replied. "Sorry, but it's important. I'll be fast."

Taichi picked his way across the living room, muttering apologies as his feet nudged knees and legs. Yamato explained the things he had already told Taichi: how his parents were protecting their identities, how Vamdemon's siege and digimon in general were still impacting earth. Taichi sat by Koushiro's feet, raised his fist, and held it up until both Koushiro and Eimi bumped it with theirs (he didn't need to greet Hikari, and Jyou was not the fist bump type).

Somehow, Taichi managed to remain quiet as the group discussed Yamato's news. He almost trembled with the effort. Ever since Koushiro told him he was working on a gate to the Digital World, Taichi had struggled against pestering him for progress reports. He knew Koushiro was already pushing too hard without his nagging.

But Yamato's speech was important, and the others were taking it seriously, asking questions, considering implications, and generally worrying. Finally, unable to wait any longer, Taichi tapped Koushiro's leg. The younger boy blinked down at him.

"Well?" Taichi whispered. The beaming smile that split Koushiro's face was answer enough. Taichi's hand tightened around Koushiro's knee. He swallowed something that might have been a whoop, a scream, or the world's happiest profanity. He waited just long enough to gain control of his mouth, then cut into the discussion.

"Koushiro, have you got anything?"

Every head swiveled towards the Child of Knowledge. Koushiro's grin faltered at the sudden attention, but resurfaced as he reached for the backpack beneath his chair. "One moment, please." He pulled out his laptop, placed it on the table, and booted up. Eimi leaned closer, smiling hard enough to put the world's finest toothpaste ad actress to shame.

Koushiro turned his computer towards the center of the room. "Last week, Gennai-san sent his first email to me since the gate between worlds closed. It seems that he's been trying to contact me for a while, but it took time for him to learn how to send messages through the closed gate."

"Koushiro-kun," Sora breathed. "Did he teach you?"

Suddenly, the Tachikawa living room was a dimension all its own. It was frozen in time and space, every heart still, every breath held. The children couldn't return until they had Koushiro's answer.

Koushiro's smile softened with a mixture of concern and understanding. "Yes. Working together, we managed to program a rudimentary gate for sending messages. I'm afraid that sound only works from our side; the digimon can't respond to us. And the visuals are…"

He paused, tipped his head, and smiled apologetically. "It's easiest to show you. I'm sorry I can only offer something so limited after almost four months..."

Taichi scrambled to his feet, nearly upsetting a platter teetering over the edge of the coffee table. "Dude, are you serious?! That's amazing! You're amazing!"

The applause and cheers that followed would have shamed the audience of a sold out concert. Koushiro jerked back into Eimi, eyes wide and overwhelmed. And, like a million times before, the kids gathered around Koushiro, drawn by his latest achievement.

Koushiro clicked an icon on his desktop. Taichi stared at the image that appeared, unsure how to parse it.

"Is that… A cartoon version of Gennai-san's garden?" Jyou asked. Taichi had no idea how Jyou made his guess. The monitor mostly showed green floors and walls, featuring a lone tree and a small pond surrounded by rocks.

"Yes," Koushiro replied. "We're not sure why, but the video feed… simplifies itself during the journey from the Digital World to ours. I imagine they're seeing something similar from their end." The boy leaned closer to the camera/microphone in the lid of his laptop and called, "Hello? Tentomon? Gennai-san?"

After a few seconds, a rush of bright colors appeared. Gasps and delighted cries filled the room as the shapes resolved into cartoonish renders of their partner digimon. Taichi leaned on the table for support, but backed up when Mimi swatted his arm to clear her view.

"Agumon," Taichi breathed. He felt disoriented, as if he had taken a blow to the head- or, more accurately, the heart.

Taichi wasn't sure what he had feared this whole time. They left the Digital World in a peaceful state, so surely the partner digimon were safe… But seeing that grinning dinosaur, raising and lowering his arms in a clunky animation, purged the poisons of fear and worry from his body. He wiped his eyes, hoping the others were too focused on the screen to notice.

"They look well," Sora murmured. "You said they can't speak to us?"

Taichi could only imagine the din from the digimon's end. They were certainly screaming human names like mad, a familiar and dear chorus, but the feed was like a silent cartoon. Koushiro shook his head. "I'm afraid not, but Gennai-san has confirmed that they can hear us."

This prompted a blast of chatter from the kids, but Taichi remained silent. He stared at Agumon over Koushiro's shoulder and swallowed hard. He was happy, he knew he was. It rose from deep inside, a sudden surge of feeling that thawed the reigning numbness.

But for some reason, his body was determined to cry.

Jyou cast a serious look around the group, which was offset by his enormous smile. "They can't understand any of us if we all talk at once. We should take turns."

Eimi's grin went sheepish. "Koushiro and I already talked to the digimon. We don't need turns right now."

Koushiro nodded. "I hope to eventually install this program on everyone's personal computers, but I'm afraid Gennai-san and I relied on the modifications he made on my laptop. It will take time for us to create a version usable for everyone. You're welcome to visit me any time to talk to the digimon, however."

"Oh! Oh! I wanna go!" Takeru cried. Then he blinked, turned to Hikari, and reigned himself in with visible effort. "Actually, Hikari-chan should go first." Mimi opened her mouth, most likely to argue, but nodded after a slight pause.

Hikari turned to Taichi, and that dazed sensation grew. He could feel the wetness coating his eyes, and knew what would soon follow. "I'll go after Onii-chan," she said.

The group looked at him, and most of them quickly looked away. Without a word, Koushiro handed him his laptop, and Mimi slid through the crowd to open her bedroom door. Sora gave him a gentle nudge, and before he knew what was happening, Taichi was sitting at Mimi's desk. Mimi shut the door, and Taichi was alone with the digimon.

"Uh- H-hey, guys." He was smiling- he could feel his cheeks straining with it- but his voice was stiff, almost awkward. After almost four months of imagining what he would say when he next saw Agumon, all he could do was stare.

One by one, the digimon walked off screen, until only Agumon remained. Taichi cleared the mysterious blockage that had materialized in his throat. "Agumon…"

The cartoon Agumon held his arms out, suggesting a hug. "I missed you, too," Taichi murmured. "I'd say you have no idea how much… But I think you do."

Agumon's enormous smile finally flagged. He nodded. Taichi bit his lower lip, then began to kick the gears of his mind, frantically trying to make them spin and produce thoughts. "I'm okay," he said at last. "I know you're worried about me, but…"

Taichi glanced away from the screen and noticed the framed picture from the Digital World on Mimi's desk. The smile it caused was softer, less manic, more honest than the one it replaced. "We're taking care of each other. The Chosen won't leave me alone for two seconds. It's annoying, but… I'm okay because of them. So, I want to know… You're all taking care of each other too, right?"

Agumon nodded, his smile restored. He began to run about the screen, making exaggerated kicking motions. Taichi stared for a few seconds before he understood. "Is that- Are you playing soccer? Do you have a ball?"

Agumon clapped, which Taichi took as confirmation. A laugh bubbled free, releasing stored tension with it. "That's great! Do you all play together? Yes? Do you need a refresher on the rules?"

Agumon nodded. Taichi had no way of knowing if Agumon was interested in rules or just wanted to hear him talk, but he launched into his lesson, regardless. Although Taichi spoke with enthusiasm, knowing that Agumon had taken up his hobby and kept the partner digimon together when Taichi had failed on both counts was bittersweet.

But then… If Agumon was his other self, then, in a way, hadn't Taichi held on to soccer and the group all this time?

I won't fall behind again. I have to keep up with Agumon. I wonder if soccer club will let me back in…

Even if they didn't, Taichi knew how to reclaim both soccer and his friends, at least for today.

XXX

Taichi sat in the Tachikawa living room, waiting for Jyou to finish his turn. As the eldest, Jyou had insisted on going last, but Taichi suspected that he was nervous and hoping to compose himself in the interim.

The energy in the room was strange, a cauldron of feelings churning in a tiny space. Although the charged atmosphere should have been exhausting, Taichi was wired. He chatted with anyone who seemed up for it, talking too loud and adding distinct flavor to the emotional brew, like a spicy pepper.

When Jyou emerged, grinning but red around the eyes, Taichi leaped to his feet. "Anyone up for a game of soccer?"

A stunned pause followed. Yamato scowled and crossed his arms. "It's cold. We're at a party."

Taichi grinned, unruffled by the challenge. "We'll warm up when we run. Besides, games are perfect for parties."

Mimi slammed her hands on her hips. "But we have all of this food! And I'm not dressed to play!"

"Good point," Taichi allowed. "Let's finish up here, then change and play." Takeru was the only Chosen who lived on Tokyo mainland instead of Odaiba, but he was dressed in jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers. Anyone else who wanted to change could do so and meet up in about half an hour.

There was some grumbling, and Taichi felt his smile flagging. He glanced at Sora on instinct and found her staring at him, her expression complex. Their eyes met, and a slow smile lightened her face.

"I'm in," she said. Taichi pumped his fist.

"Alright! Anyone else?"

Takeru's hand shot into the air. "I wanna play! Can we, Onii-chan?"

Taichi prayed that he wasn't smirking. There was no way Yamato wouldn't cave for Takeru, at least over something so easily given. Yamato tsked, but nodded.

Jyou sighed. "I don't know… I was planning to study afterward."

Taichi opened his mouth to argue, but Sora was already gently breaking in. He left her to it, suspecting that she would be more successful. One by one, the others agreed, until only Hikari remained silent.

When he turned to her, she offered him a hopeful smile. Taichi tensed, fearing that she might bring up his abandonment of soccer or her relief at his renewed interest. But all she said was, "That sounds fun, Onii-chan."

Taichi swallowed hard, unable to parse how vulnerable and understood he felt. He sat beside her at the table, taking the seat that Jyou hadn't reclaimed. She leaned into him, and he patted her knee.

As wonderful as it was to see Agumon again, even filtered through the program, Taichi knew that it couldn't fix his problems any more than one soccer game could restore the skill he had lost. But his friends surrounded him, and they would stand if needed. The other him was flourishing. And soon, he'd be running with the Chosen again, basking in their light.

And that was a start.

Author's Note: I struggled with this chapter, trying to make the end neat and tidy, but that felt wrong. As we saw in Tri, teenage Taichi still struggles with many of the issues presented in this story; nothing can turn trauma off like flipping a switch. Still, he's come a long way since chapter one, and hopefully it feels like he will continue to slowly recover.

Thank you for reading this completed story! It was such an important and meaningful experience for me. Please let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it. Take care of yourselves!

Love, Hidden