Totally Dattebayo

Chapter II: The New Jerry

The Alps, France—10:00 AM

The Alps, one of the most famous vacation spots in the world. The reach of this mountainous range extends to over three European countries including France and Germany. It hosted the Winter Olympics throughout the 20th century before and after both World Wars. It is home to not only a unique culture of cheesemaking and farming, but lake-sized bodies of clear-blue water, green lands, and wild creatures.

Goats in this case.

The quadrupedal race enjoyed their daily activity, which was mealtime. Their food: grass. However, something changed for them on this day and it spoke danger. Danger in the form of an earthquake. And they knew what came after the ground stopped shaking. A rush of cascading snow from the side of the snow mountains.

An avalanche.

Or it would have been one if it were for intervention by human hands.

A great big blast of sun-colored laser burned through the snowfall, melting it into water as the goats stopped their strides and saw the ones who saved them.

"New WOOHP state of the art technology?" Alex asked in disbelief. She, Sam and Clover wore artic-versions of their spy suits with glasses while on snowmobiles. "Please! The evapoblaster's nothing but a glorified hair dryer."

"I agree! That mission was totally lame," Clover agreed, also disappointed. "I mean, avalanche patrol? What are we? Spies or forest Rangers?"

Sam felt the same, "Neither. Apparently, we're goat babysitters." She then noticed lack of male in their group, "Hey, where's Naruto?"

"YEAH BABY!"

The girls looked to the side as their teammate excitedly yowled on his snowboard, turning away from trees and jumping from snow back to snow bank like a pro snowboarder. Naruto leaned forward on the downhill as his board gained more speed, bending his knees until he reached the curved snow ramp.

Using his natural physical abilities, Naruto was high in the air and twirled/spin with his board until he landed on the ground. Once he saw the girls staring at him, he knew his fun was already over and reached their location. By stopping with the end of his board upturning snow at the women.

"Are we done already?" Naruto pouted, unfazed by the glares of his snow-covered friends.

"Na-Ru-To! I JUST HAD MY HAIR WASHED!" Clover screamed before revving her snowmobile.

"Catch me if you can!"

Naruto purposefully kicked back snow at the girls as he slid down the mountain, being chased by his teammates.

"GET BACK HERE!" The angry girls chorused at their laughing friend.

Unknown to the spies, they were watched by a cloaked figure using binoculars to watch them. This person was at a high far and high enough to avoid detection. Once all the needed information was gathered, the stranger left the area under the cover of snow mist.

TDxTDxTDxTD

Sam's House, Beverly Hills—08:00 PM

After their mostly boring mission, the spies retreated to one of their cohort's house to hang out. Today was at Sam's as they laid about in her room, tired at the physical and mental levels.

"I thought this whole spy gig was supposed to be fun," Alex complained to her friends. An ice cream cup and spoon occupied her hands. "So much for the days of exciting missions and exotic places."

Clover seemed to have pushed that in the past, "At least we can be psyched about our big snowboarding trip this weekend." She gave the stink eye to Naruto who whistled innocently while on his back, reading comic books. "Though someone better not ruin my hair again."

"Can't make promises," Naruto retorted stoically before being his usual self. "Still, it was kind of a bummer with the missions we've been having lately. I feel like we can do more, you know?"

"Agreed," Clover and Alex agreed with their friend.

Sam cleared her throat and gained their attention, "What do you say we forget about Jerry and his boring missions and focus on what is really important?" Both Clover and Alex knew instantly what they mean as they excitedly stood up with hearts in their eyes. "And where do you think you're going?"

Naruto stopped turning the doorknob as he looked over at the smirking Sam. "Please spare my wallet."

"You still owe us for that incident," Sam firmly replied, inwardly relishing the leash she had on him.

Naruto pouted with puffed cheeks, "But I don't like going there~" His phone rang and he looked at it before his eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "On second thoughts, let's go!" He ran out of the room as a dust trail was left behind.

"What just happened?" A stunned Alex asked her friends, hoping they saw what she just saw.

Clover and Sam nodded slowly, "Naruto just went for the mall…" Clover said in shock.

"Without bribes or us putting him to sleep with WOOHP tech," Sam finished last before snapping out of it. "Come on, let's not this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!" She prayed to the deity who blessed them for this one night without Naruto whining like a child.

"YES!" Both Alex and Clover cried out before running out the room with Sam.

TDxTDxTDxTD

Beverly Hills Mall—09:00 PM

The spies arrived at their most favorite hangout destination before they went their separate ways. Sam stood in a dressing room at one of the clothing stores, liking the pink fleece jacket that she wanted for the trip. "Oh, this is fabulous," Sam commented positively before her face on the mirror morphed into Jerry's.

-"But, don't you think it's a bit tight for snowboarding?"-

Sam gasped loudly before jumping out of the dressing room, accidently tearing out the cloth. "It's hardly any of your business. Now bug off," She told her boss while the customers stared at her as if she is weird for talking to a mirror.

Meanwhile with Clover, she found herself a date at the mall and was currently playing a video game with him. They were on a mechanical virtual snowboard game, but Clover struggled to keep her balance. The fact that a cute boy was behind her didn't help matters. After a particular jump on the game, Clover almost fell but was caught by her date as he smiled at her and she returned the expression.

-"Uh-Uh-Uh."-

Both Clover and her date saw a disapproving Jerry on the screen, apparently not liking the teenager boy or the close contact. Clover threw raspberries at the older agent.

As for Alex, her location was the "Do Beauty" hair salon. She read a magazine while her right hand's nails were drying along with her hair. Her luxury time was interrupted when she picked up her spy cup and saw none other than Jerry.

-"I've noticed your grades have slipped."- The screen moved to a smiling middle-aged man with glasses and white hair, -"So I've arranged for you to be tutored by our top WOOHP scholar every day after school. No need to thank me. I'm just happy to help where I can."-

Alex groaned at now having to spend her evenings for studying at WOOHP instead of just crashing with her friends. She sharply left the salon and regrouped with Sam and Clover, they too were peeved about Jerry's intrusions. "You too?"

"Yeah! And I was totally going to have this guy as my boyfriend," Clover sighed lovingly about the ski-attired boy.

Sam groaned exasperatedly, "As if I needed Jerry's advice about fashion." She blinked owlishly when Naruto was not among them. "Where is he?"

"Naruto? Maybe Jerry hasn't gotten to him yet," Alex theorized.

"Come on, he might actually do it!"

"Let's go, let's go!"

The three spies saw hordes of customers rushing through the mall and followed them until they reached a particular Japanese restaurant. It read "Ichiraku's Ramen: Grand Opening" as hordes of customers were watching from outside. "What's going on?" Sam asked one of the mall consumers.

"Someone is going for the restaurant's record. Supposedly, the restaurant's owner gave a challenge to those who want it: whoever eats 150 ramen bowls on opening day of a new restaurant achieves the Tenko Bowl."

"Tenko Bowl?" The girls asked quizzically, their bodies slightly leaning to the side.

"Free ramen for life."

Clover sputtered amusedly, "Who would want that?" A long pause occurred until the girls realized the reason of their missing friend. "Oh wait, him?!"

"That's probably why he was so excited to come here," Alex assumed strongly.

Sam nodded before gesturing her friends to follow her and they did. The trio seemingly phased through the mob as they didn't bother them or even notice their presence until the girls reached the center of the attraction. What they saw astounded them in their young adult lives.

Towering stacks of empty ramen bowls almost reached the ceiling as they surrounded the one who ate all the contents. The girls gasped when their eyes caught sight of Naruto's head dug into the bowl, unmoving at all with a pair of chopsticks. The chef in the restaurant, Teuchi by his name tag, stared at the boy with great concern.

"I think he's dead," Teuchi commented before Alex approached Naruto and shook him.

"Naruto? Naruto!"

Clover lifted his head and saw his eyes closed, "Naruto?" She asked before flicking his ear.

Naruto snorted as his eyes slowly opened as if he woke up. "Wha-What? What happened? Clover? Alex? Sam? Oh man, did I fall asleep again?"

"YOU FELL ASLEEP?!" The girls and audience shouted in shock.

"Uh-huh," Naruto sheepishly rubbed his head before staring seriously at the bowl in front of him. "Finally, after a year's worth of training, I will finally claim the Tenko Bowl!" The people behind him cheered except the girls who looked exasperated. As he was about to finish off the bowl, it was taken from him by foreign hands. "Eh?"

He and the girls exclaimed in surprise when the hands belonged to a WOOHP agent who shook his head. Jerry's face appeared on the agent's pocket watch via hologram.

-"Naruto, your latest medical results shows very high cholesterol for someone your age. No ramen for the next year and more healthy choices from now on."-

The agent left with the hologram now inactive as a stunned Naruto's right eye twitched between two seconds and his fork fell from his grip. "Uh, Naruto?" The girls asked concerningly.

"NNNNNOOOOO!"

The distraught screaming echo was so high and long enough to shatter every window in the entire mall.

TDxTDxTDxTD

Sam's House, Beverly Hills

Both Naruto and Alex ferociously ate their tubs of ice cream in frustration while Sam and Clover groaned at the common person: Jerry.

"OK, being a spy has just gone from mundane to ridiculous," Sam vented to her frustrated friends. "We can't even get ready for our trip without Jerry bugging us."

"Tell me about it," Clover replied back. "That man is the absolute worst. We should definitely give him a piece of our minds."

Alex stopped eating her ice cream as she lifted her spoon, "I totally agree. It's high time we put our feet down. Naruto, what do you say?"

"The man took away my ramen for a year. He is going down," Naruto said steely as he gulped the last of his ice cream. "You know, I'm actually looking forward to getting summoned so I can use a secret technique."

Just like that, Sam's television produced unknown energy that levitated the quartet and sucked them inside. "Well, like they say, no time like the present."

TDxTDxTDxTD

WOOHP Headquarters—10:32 PM

The girls and boy phased through the wall with their hairs all frizzled from the electricity. A stunned Clover touched her precious hair and flinched from the shock, frustrating the blonde. "OK, Jerry, enough is enough."

"That's right. We're sick of you butting into our personal lives," Sam remarked with her hands resting on her hips.

Alex crossed her arms, "Yeah, and no more treating us like little kids."

"Uh girls, I don't think that's Jerry," Naruto said to his teammates as the person in the chair twirled around. "Who are you?"

The man in the suit has tanned skin, blue/green eyes, and brown hair. Compared to Naruto's lean body stature, the man is taller than him and the girls while sporting a muscular build. "I'm Mac Smit, your new WOOHP guardian."

"You're our new WOOHP guardian?" Sam repeated in an asking manner. "What—what happened to Jerry?"

Mac answered her, "Jerry decided after 35 wonderful years with WOOHP that it was time he worked on his golf game." He pulled out a remote after standing up and walking out of the huge television screen. "He's retired."

The screen changed to one of Jerry in golfing attire at a gold park before he looked at the camera. –"It's true, kids. I have indeed retired. I am, however, confident that I've left you in very capable hands. Mac should prove to be a fine replacement."-

"So, does this mean we're never going to see you again, Jer?" Sam asked her former boss.

-"Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired."-

The teens watched Jerry take a swing in the golf park. "I can't believe Jerry retired. It seems like just yesterday he was invading our privacy and majorly getting on our nerves," Alex commented somewhat down about the old timer.

"Yeah, that just happened two hours ago, Alex," Naruto countered casually. "Still this is really throwing me off." After all, Jerry is the only one who is privy to the shinobi world and knows entirely about Naruto's background. Though he was joking, Naruto never thought this would happen.

"Well, we'll have plenty of time to get acquainted later, team," Mac assuredly said, "Right now I need you all to gather around because I have a really important mission for you."

Instantly the quartet assumed differing expressions from reserved to annoyed, Clover being the latter. "Great. This guy's going to be a pain in the butt just like Jerry," Clover muttered under breath.

"And the first thing you'll need for this mission is an official WOOHP platinum credit card," Mac finished with a smile.

A flabbergasted Naruto gasped in horror as he recoiled away, "Oh no." He watched his friends instantly got into Mac's personal space, scaring him a little with their speed.

"Did you just say platinum credit card?" Clover asked her new superior, hoping she and her girlfriends heard him right.

Mac pulled out the supposed WOOHP credit card from his jacket's inside, "WOOHP gave me a couple of new cards this morning. Your mission is to go shopping on the organization's dime. I know this fabulous department store in Paris."

"Paris?" The girls asked sweetly, relishing the future shopping spree at the City of Love.

"You have got to be kidding me," Naruto replied disbelieving. "Jerry wouldn't do this. There's a reason why he didn't give them the credit cards in the first place." He became nervous when the girls slowly turned their heads at them, their eyes glowing red. "Oh shoot me."

"You knew?!"

"AHHH!"

A flabbergasted Mac watched the female trio chasing after their male teammate in the room for apparently hiding one of WOOHP's secrets.

"Traitor!"

"It was for your own good, girls!"

"Come here!"

"No!"

A shocked Mac watched Naruto escape by jumping through the glass window and leaving the upset girls behind. "Um, is this normal for you guys?"

"Yes," The girls answered their superior. "Naruto, come back here and face your punishment like a man!"

Naruto stuck out his tongue and spat out raspberries at the girls, "There is nothing that can make me go back up there."

"Not even for this?"

When he heard him and gazed at the office window, Naruto's eyes dilated like a puppy as he screamed in delight. Sam, Clover, and Alex were flabbergasted when Naruto instantly made it back to the officer, actually hugging a stunned Max who gave him the object. Said object was a big ramen bowl colored in golden yellow with black edges, adorning a kyuubi creature across the body. This is the Tenko Bowl.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Naruto repeated before hastily nabbing the bowl away from Mac. "My precious~" He said akin to Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

"Um, okay?" Mac said unsuredly and weirded out at the same time.

TDxTDxTDxTD

Les Grandes Galeries, Paris—11:00 AM

After the gadgets was given to them, mainly casual items the girls use for Beverly Hills' mall, the team was sent to the French capital known for its sophistication in cuisine and fashion. Though Naruto would normally complain in this matter, the Tenko Bowl kept him docile throughout the flight and ride to the mall.

"It's official, Mac's the best, the total, ultimate coolest," Clover said to her happy friends.

Sam agreed with her statement, "You can say that again. But he's also so cool and smart. Unlike some people," She gave a pointed look at Naruto who was behind them. Despite him carrying loads of shopping bags like an overworked servant, Naruto wasn't botered as he was eating his 25th free serving of ramen with the Tenko Bowl.

"I'm going to call Jerry to see what he might like for a retirement gift," Alex remarked as she pulled out her spy communicator. It showed Jerry still in his golf attire, playing the sport. "Hey, Jer? It's Alex. Just wondering what you might like as a retirement—"

-"Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired."-

"That's… odd," Naruto muttered after pausing in his eating.

Clover scoffed at the blatant cut-off, "Rude much?"

"Don't worry about it," Sam assured a peeved Alex.

"Yeah, Jerry's loss is totally our gain."

"Maybe I'll buy a gift for Mac," Sam said while looking at a yellow and blue jacket. "After all, a little generosity could go a long way."

Naruto scoffed at the jacket and shook his head, "As if he would wear something like this. And how come only he gets a gift? You've never given me a gift, not even on my birthdays." Sam ignored him with a 'humph'. Naruto was about to resume his eating when he sensed something and his eyes widened when the WOOPH credit card levitated out of Clover's hand.

"What the?" A surprised Clover responded as the credit card protruded small but sharp blades from both ends and spun like an airborne chainsaw. Seeing this, the girls took cover behind a clothing display shelf.

As for Naruto, he threw the shopping bags, and Tenko Bowl, off his back and shot a web-bullet at the hostile device. To his slight surprise, the device curved sharply away from his bullet. "That was not natural." Naruto thought as he stood for a moment.

Sam, Clover, and Alex watched with concern as the weapon flew at Naruto with hostile intent. To their surprise and awe, Naruto caught the projectile with two fingers before crushing it. Despite knowing him since they were kids, it was only lately they had seen Naruto perform physical prowess beyond the average human including them.

"Whoa, nice catch, Naruto," Alex praised her friend, "You could've been an All-Star baseball player on the team."

Naruto snorted as his Ninjutsu training was not for sports, though he would have liked to play them. One in particular was in his mind, but the high school doesn't have it. "Thanks Alex, but your shopping spree is cut short, girls."

"We better get back to WOOHP and tell Mac what happened," Sam stated as they left the store for the plane home.

As for Naruto, he stayed for a bit with his eyes gazed at the dressing room… the spot where he sensed hostile intent towards them. It was never clear about this ability, but the folks back home and his teacher told him that it was a powerful gift, particularly in the hands of a shinobi from Konohagakure.

"Naruto, come on!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming, Sam!"

TDxTDxTDxTD

WOOHP Headquarters—17:30 PM

The quartet returned to the base after a long plane ride and found their new boss in a metallic space suit. "Nice suit," Clover said, surprising Mac as he turned around.

"Whoa, back so soon?" Mac asked his subordinates in a confusing manner.

A reluctant Sam answered him, "Yeah, we had a little problem with the credit card. Not that we didn't totally appreciate you giving it to us."

"What? Was it declined or something?"

"No," Alex replied. "It attacked us with its swirling saw blades of death. We barely made it out of the store alive."

"You're exaggerating, Alex." Naruto cleared his throat as he dropped the shopping bags on the ground, much to the girls' worried outburst, "Not to mention it put civilians in danger. So, what's the deal?" He asked the older agent. "Was it a WOOHP gadget or something?"

"You guys can't be serious," Mac responded in shock at this development.

"Unfortunately, we are serious," Clover said while Sam pulled out the sweater she bought for him.

Sam presented it to Mac, "Here you go: a welcome and gratitude gift from me—I mean us."

Mac looked grateful and accepted Sam's gift, only to sniff violently a moment later. "Ugh, is this cashmere or something? I'm sorry, but I'm allergic."

"Oh, I-I didn't know," Sam took back the sweater dejectedly.

Both Alex and Naruto were bothered about Mac's aloof behavior towards them, "Doesn't it even bother you that we were almost shredded by a killer credit card?" Alex asked for herself and Naruto.

"Alex, Mac is a seasoned agent," Sam answered as if she's defending him, "He's probably been in so many dangerous situations, stuff like this doesn't even phase him."

"Still, something is off about this guy," Naruto thought to himself.

"Team, I apologize for this. The credit card I gave you must've been one of my personal devices for self-defense," Mac explained to the teenagers. "You've got to let me make this up to you. How about a cliff-diving adventure in Acapulco?"

"Seriously?" Naruto thought, noticing Mac's nonchalant expression about what happened.

Sam and the others agreed with Naruto, "Yeah, I think we've had enough international excitement for one day."

"Well, then the least I can do is offer you a ride home in style. Take my brand-new Turbo Titan 3,000 XT," Mac offered as he held out the keys in front of them. Just bought it yesterday. Still has that new car smell."

"Well, if you insist," Clover happily replied as she, Sam, and Alex grabbed the keys and left for the car. That was until she noticed Naruto unmoving. "Naruto, you coming?"

"No, I think I'll stay here and train in the chamber. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow," Naruto bid them farewell and left Mac's office for the training hall.

TDxTDxTDxTD

Once he reached the training hall after changing into WOOHP exercise clothes, Naruto committed to his usual training regime here at WOOHP: warm-ups, ten laps, 150 push-ups and sit-ups, resistance and weight training. For shinobi, they strive for the perfect balance between speed, strength, and flexibility as they are crucial in combat. Naruto inhaled sharply as if to relish the hard work that happened as he panted slightly from the workout. He practices his Ninjutsu at home due to secrecy, but here at WOOHP, he trains his body both mentally and physically.

"Okay, let's practice with the Web-Shooters now," Naruto commented as he put on the wrist devices, chuckling at them. "Man, I feel like Spider-Man with these." He fired a couple web bullets at the targets that sprang from the walls, hitting but one. "Guess I still need the practice."

Suddenly, the training hall's lights turned red from white as Naruto assumed a fighting pose. The only reason for the lights was for intruders in WOOHP headquarters or affiliated facilities. To his surprise, the doors shut tight as the walls opened and emerged ten robots with four arms.

"The FCR's? I didn't sign them in for a workout," Naruto muttered to himself.

The FCR's, or Fortitude Combat Robots, are WOOHP's main defense force for incursions. Yet they deem him as the enemy?

"Oh crap."

The FCRs had their arms morphed into laser blasters and fired numerous volleys at the secret ninja. Naruto yanked on a web-line, pulling himself in the air while avoiding the red energy attacks. He flipped to the side and bent his legs as he used the wall to launch himself towards one of the FCR. He launched two web-lines behind one of them and yanked to increase his speed before punching at the chest.

Despite it being metal, the chest plate dented under Naruto's fist as the FRC fell backwards. He ducked under a laser volley and ensnared two FCR's legs with thick webbing before connecting them with a single web-line. Naruto then back-rolled away as the FRCs tried to chase after him, but fell when their momentum worked against them.

Naruto breathed deeply as his body began to feel energized by his chakra, seen as a white outline around him. He snatched another couple of web-lines at the last two FCRs and lifted them off the floor before spinning around. Naruto audibly grunted while he released his grip as the FCRs crashed into the wall and exploded into debris.

As more FCRs emerged from the walls, Naruto launched a web bullet at a small hidden button near the ceiling. When it hit its destined target, the floor under Naruto's feet retracted and dropped as the ninja fell and slid into a tunnel. Once he reached the end of the tunnel, Naruto exhaled deeply before pressing the left Web-Shooter.

It had a built-in emergency communication device in case he didn't have his regular spy com-link.

"Sam, Clover, Alex, do you read me?"

Nothing.

"Girls, do you read me?"

-"Naruto, it's you! Thank God because we were about to call you."-

"Alex? You sound distressed. What happened?" Naruto asked with concern.

The ninja was given the full download from Alex. Just now, they survived a car explosion after stopping for a pair of sunglasses. Really? Sunglasses in nighttime? Sam had analyzed one of the debris for fingerprints and got a hit: Tim Scam, a criminal in WOOHP's database. Apparently his rap sheet is longer than Clover's list of past boyfriends.

"Really? Wow, that's something. Anything else?" Naruto asked Alex. "Well, I'm glad you girls are okay because I'm not."

-"Why? What happened to you?"-

"I was training here at WOOHP when FCRs attacked me since they thought I was the enemy."

-"This is not good. First the credit card, then the car, now the robots… I think this Tim Scam guy is after Mac."- Sam inputted, much to Naruto's annoyance.

"Actually, that's something I need to talk to you girls about. Get back to WOOHP and I'll meet at Jerry's office."

-"Mac's office, you mean."-

"Nope, Jerry's. Just get here quick."

Naruto ran down the hall for Jerry's office as the suspicious feeling in him had grown sharply after what just happened at the training hall.

TDxTDxTDxTD

Once the girls returned to the office, their first concern was Mac, but no physical sign of him lingered in the space. "Where could he be?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, but we should at least leave him a note," Alex remarked off-handedly, eliciting 'are you serious' looks from her friends.

Clover scoffed, "That says what? 'Mac, FYI, in addition to turning your credit card into a whirling blade of death, some psycho also blew your car into a billion pieces of scrap metal. By the way, let's do lunch.'" Clover finished sarcastically.

"Yeah, pretty much, Clover," Alex and Naruto agreed at Clover's nutshelling.

Naruto and them went to work to find everything they can about Tim Scam. "And seriously, Tim Scam? Man, that guy's been bullied as a kid with a name like that." Naruto muttered as he logged in the computer for the criminal while Sam, Alex and Clover took the paper route. "People probably thought he was a scam artist or a conman throughout his life."

During the shuffling through the desk, Alex pulled out a file before it spilled out its contents… all relating to Tim Scam.

Sam picked one of the documents that holds pertinent information about a WOOHP gadget. "Check this out, a schematic drawing of the evapoblaster and a file on Tim Scam."

"That's weird. Why would Mac have those?" Alex asked aloud. "Unless he knows that Tim Scam is after him."

Sam fixed the file and saw that it had the organization's logo. "Wait a second, this is a WOOHP employee file."

"That's impossible. That would mean that—" Clover said before being finished by Sam.

"Tim Scam used to work at WOOHP." Sam then read more from the file, "According to these records, he was a WOOHP weapons technician twenty years ago."

Naruto had to ask the obvious, "But…" He said since there was the 'but' feeling.

"But it says here he was fired for illegal use of WOOHP technology," Sam finished as her friends grew suspicious.

"That creep!" Alex exclaimed with disgust.

"We should call Jerry. He should know about Tim Scam," Clover suggested as she took out her spy make-up device, "After all, he worked her for like ninety years." She saw Jerry on the device's screen. "Hey Jerry, you ever hear of Tim Scam?"

-"Sorry, I can't help you. I'm retired."-

"Okay, that's just weird."

"No, suspicious." Naruto said grimly, drawing his friend's attention.

"Hey, Naruto. What did you want to tell us about that you couldn't say over the comms?" Clover asked her fellow blonde.

Naruto sighed before voicing his suspicions. "Everything that's happened… it all started with Mac Smith." The girls, especially Sam, looked skeptical. "Think about it: Mac appears out of nowhere after Jerry's retirement, you girls and I were attacked, and now this Tim Scam is after us."

"You think Mac is working together with Tim?" Clover asked skeptically.

"I don't trust the guy and all of this happened right after Jerry's "retirement"." Naruto finished with air-quotes, "Have I ever steer you girls wrong before?"

"Yes!" The trio said nonchalantly.

"… Okay, there were some instances that I was wrong, but you know me," Naruto defended strongly. "Alex, when we were little, remember the boy who wouldn't stop taking your stuff?" Alex nodded at the unfortunate memory. "And who was it that defended you and put a stop to it?"

"You did."

"And Sam, when you fell asleep during class that one time—in the middle of an important exam I might add—who was it that kept you from being discovered by the teacher and gave you that energy shot?"

"You did," Sam answered with a glower, "I was hyper for three days because of you. My parents blamed you for the sugar crash I went through in the weekend."

"At least it happened during weekend instead at school," Naruto countered cheekily before turning his attention at Clover. "And you… I can't believe I'm saying this even though I vowed, who was the one that told you about the ninety percent sale at the mall three months ago without Sam and Alex? That's how you got that diamond-cut bracelet with 100 karats easy and I'm not supposed to know this kind of stuff!"

The nervous Clover flinched away from the glowering Sam and Alex before Naruto cleared his throat to regain their attention.

"The point is that I don't think this is all one big coincidence," Naruto stated firmly. "Just trust me on this." He's had a bad feeling whenever Mac was around.

And speaking of bad feelings…

"Behind us!"

The ceiling vent broke loose from the added weight as the cloaked figure landed before the spies, aiming his blaster-like gun at them. This must be Tim Scam. "Hold it right—" Scam was cut off when Naruto tackled him through the glass wall and off the second level as they free-fell to the bottom floor.

"Come here!" Naruto knocked out the blaster and pinned Scam to the wall with his forearm against the latter's neck. "Where is he?! Where's Jerry?"

Scam growled against Naruto's surprising physical strength before he grabbed his face. The girls gasped when Naruto screamed while his body was shocked by electricity, but from where? They got their answer after Naruto fell on the ground as Scam smugly brandished a glove toward them. It didn't last as Clove fly-kicked him away while Sam and Alex picked up the surprisingly heavy ninja.

"Run!" Sam shouted as they were being chased by Tim and his blaster. Naruto may be stronger and tougher than them, but even he is susceptible to natural occurrences like electricity.

The girls ran down the stairs and into a lab where they saw four vehicles in matching colors of their spy suits. "Maybe we could use something in here to give him the slip," Sam said as she and Alex carried the sleepy Naruto into the green one. "Come on, Clover!" She said before sitting in front of Naruto.

"I get a ticket every time I drive my car," Clover complained about her driving skills. "How am I supposed to drive any of these crazy things."

"Go to schoooollll," Naruto snorted as he slept against Sam's back.

"Ugh, he better not drool."

Alex chuckled before turning on the ignition. "How hard can this be to drive?" All the three vehicles floated off the ground, surprising the girls. "What the?"

"Anti-gravity cycles," Sam exclaimed excitedly.

By this time, Scam had already caught up to them as he entered the chamber.

"No time for driving lessons!" Clover shouted down the exit tunnels. The spies swerved left and right as they avoided Scam's energy blasts that froze things? Great. Clover especially didn't like as a snow blast froze parts of her hair. "As if my hair wasn't brittle enough as it is!"

"Naruto, wake up!" Alex shouted for him.

Naruto simply snorted despite the crazy motions from Sam's driving. "The one time we need him, he's knocked out," Sam grumbled aloud. She and her remaining conscious friends did their best to avoid Scam's ice blast throughout the entirety of WOOHP headquarters. It is certainly bigger in the inside than the outside showed to the world.

An aquarium, weird but scary room filled with creepy dolls, and more remained with the girls while Naruto snorted through the whole until they all got separated after jumping off their vehicles, but the bright side was that they escaped Tim Scam… for now at least.

As for Alex and Clover, they breathed out in relief after being chased by a tech maniac. However, that was overwhelmed by their mutual disgust from the dirty water. "Ew, where are we?" Clover asked in disgust before being shushed by Alex.

Alex readied herself for a fight until the ceiling gate opened from the outside and revealed the one whom they looked for. "Mac!" She and Clover exclaimed in relief.

Meanwhile with Sam and Naruto, the redhead popped out of the snow-like cushions. She assumed it protected her and Naruto from most of the impact. "Clover? Alex?" She called out, but no visible or audible sign from them.

"Ow…" Naruto drowsily rose from the debris and yawned loudly, "Is it dinnertime yet?" He looked at an awkward Sam. "Oh hey, Sam, but what are you doing in my house?" Seconds passed until he remembered and hastily stood back on his feet. "Oh no, I got zapped by that Scam guy! Oh, I can't wait to pay him back tenfold."

Sam sighed sharply, "It's about time you woke up, Naruto. We really needed you, but then again, we've never seen anyone take you out like that before. It was a big surprise for us."

"He was a cheat!" Naruto exclaimed animatedly, clearly upset about it. "He didn't use his fists! He used technology to fight for him!"

"But you use technology too like those Web-Shooters."

Ferociously waving his fingers side to side, Naruto corrected her, "They aid me in fighting, but my body is a weapon to use against our enemies."

"Calm down and let's find Clover and Alex," Sam told him before noticing a familiar gadget nearby. "Hey, wait a second. Why would someone outfit the evapoblaster with a missile guidance system?" She asked while holding said weapon.

"My guess is Tim Scam and did you see that blaster he had?" Naruto asked rhetorically. "Too high-tech for a lowly thug if you ask me. I say he invented it either during or after being fired from WOOHP. The question is where can we find Clover and Alex so we can save Jerry?"

"And Mac," Sam inputted quickly. Naruto groaned back at her, "What?"

"You like him."

"I do not."

"When your voice squeaks like that about a man, you do," Naruto deadpanned in response, causing Sam to blush a little. "Remember that kid who won the elementary science fair?" Sam trembled a little, "Your voice cracked every time you tried to talk to him." He snorted behind his hand, amused by Sam's flustered expression.

"That's not true!"

"Who knows you better than anyone?"

Sam whimpered as she pointed at Naruto. "You and the girls."

"Uh-huh," Naruto said with triumph. "I need to get to WOOHP's central computer and shut it down." Sam agreed with him. If Tim Scam gains more access to the agency's deepest secrets and developing projects, he could sell them to their enemies. "You meet up with Alex and Clover in the meantime. Stay safe."

"You too."

The duo separated to do their intended duties and at the very least stall Scam's plans whatever they may be.

TDxTDxTDxTD

WOOHP Central Servers

The intended destination was reached by a wary Naruto who looked different than usual. That's because he just passed several of Scam's controlled WOOHP's robots. He used several smoke bombs, seven of them, at strategic locations. Among the employees in the agency, there are only a handful of people who has undeterred access to the database.

Jerry, the founder, is one of them. So how did Naruto have his? The luck of the Christmas agency party combined with subtle drinks of gin and tonic allowed Naruto to 'suggest' Jerry to tell him his password.

"Okay I'm in."

Naruto went to work and started putting in specific keywords intended to lock down the system. Those late-night hours of Sam tutoring him and Clover in WOOHP's technology is helping him at last. Studying pays off after all.

"What the heck is this?"

He came across a file that marked a secret WOOHP satellite. It was called HELIOS. Naruto didn't want to open it, but his gut feeling was telling him otherwise. With a click of his mouse, the file opened with several documents about the satellite's blueprints. His eyes darted as they absorbed the information and, with each one done, his face assumed a worried expression.

"Son of a gun. I know what he's planning." Naruto exited the document and completed the shutdown. The servers turned off via the lights blinking out of power. He ran out of the server room and made his way to Sam's location.

TTIIPMxTTIIPMxTTIIPM

It was difficult since the building's structure was metal, but her ki was not alone. Clover and Alex was there as well. Then he felt his as well. "Shoot!" Naruto channeled his ki throughout his body, blurring out of existence.

It took him less than ten seconds to reach where his friends were last sensed. The Shunshin no Jutsu (Body Flicker Technique) may be a common ninjutsu, but it's actually difficult for those without precise ki control. The only reason he's able to do it is because of his high reserves.

By the time he reached their location, they were gone. A frustrated growl escaped his mouth before moving towards the next location he'd know where Scam, and more importantly his friends, will be. Naruto ran full speed and leaped from wall to wall without missing a beat.

He made it to the launch pad where Scam was entering the rocket. He also saw a small glimpse of his unconscious friends. "Scam!" Naruto shouted while leaping mightily at him, a hand cocked back.

The ninja didn't reach his target as a WOOHP robot tackled him out of the air from a wall. More robots emerged out of their spaces in the walls and dogpiled on the groaning Naruto under the immense weight. Scam smugly smirked as he placed several commands and more robots stomped into the chamber.

"See you later or not."

He pressed the last key before entering the vehicle. It took off after diagnostics check all the while the chamber beeped intermittently. Then it picked up and that gave Naruto the realization of bombs rigged to blow up. Naruto struggled to get the robots off of him, but their weight is too much for him to even lift a finger. With a loud guttural yell of might, Naruto's body and the robots was engulfed by a fiery explosion in the chamber.

TDxTDxTDxTD

(Four Hours Later)

The captured females woke up from their unwanted slumber as Clover rubbed her lower back. "Call emergency. I need a deep tissue massage right this second."

"Make it two," Alex supported Clover's words as she held her throbbing head. "Hey, where's that jerk Mac Smit, or Tim Scam, or whatever his name is."

Sam sneered at the name, but put it aside as worry consumed her, "Forget about that jerk. Where are we?" She and the other two gasped when they looked outside the window as the entire view of Earth floated before them. "We're in space?"

Just then, a screen came to life with a smirking Tim in the armor he wore earlier and the Evapoblaster against his shoulder. -"Try to relax and enjoy the ride, girls."-

"Why did you bring us out here?" Sam demanded, peeved at the deception.

"And what do you plan to do with that?" Clover asked, worried about whatever plan Tim has in mind.

And she was right to worry.

-"Oh I'm just going to use it to evaporate the entire Earth's water from the safety of my space ship,"- Tim casually answered with obvious hints of evil.

A confused Alex pointed at her head, then Tim, "I got to say, even for a complete psycho like you, that's still a really crazy idea."

-"Thank you,"- Tim replied, pleased with himself.

"We read your WOOHP file. We know all about your criminal past," Sam retorted strongly.

-"WOOHP never did appreciate me for the genius that I am."- Tim sneered as he remembered the day Jerry and WOOHP caught and arrested him for his crimes.

"I can't believe I actually thought you were cool," Sam answered in a disappointingly tone. "You seem so smart, but now I see you're just another immature, run of the mill terrorist. We're like so over. Naruto was right about you all along."

"Yeah and you can just forget about your crazy little plan," Clover hotly remarked, "Because you're going to have to deal with us first."

-"Ok, you're dealt with. Oh, and while you're out there, tell Jerry I said hello."-

The girls screamed after their pod was disconnected from the space ship via Tim's command.

As an evilly-smirking Tim emerged outside of the satellite, aiming at the Earth's many oceans, something caught his eyesight. His eyeballs bugled out of their sockets and almost against his sun-shaded helmet when it became clear. "A spaceship?!"

-"Surprise, jerkface!"-

"He's alive!?"

The spaceship Naruto piloted was no regular one. WOOHP had been developing an experimental combat-ready ship for years. Naruto took it for a test drive and what better time than to kick someone's ass? As the slender vehicle soared past the satellite, a confused Tim gasped loudly as a suit-covered Naruto flew at him with his boosters.

The ninja's suit fitted his entire body perfectly as WOOHP created it according to his specifications. It was the S.A.E.C.S., or Space Aerial and Earth Combat Suit, designed for battle in extreme environments during dangerous missions.

"Meet my fist!" Naruto cried out as his hand collided against Tim's chest and knocked him over the railing. "Oh shoot!" He quickly activated his suit's magnetism and stood on the side of the satellite just as his enemy did the same. "Man, oh man, this is scary." Naruto gulped nervously as the vast darkness of space was overwhelming. "Damn, I would not want to be out here for the rest of my life."

"Naruto Uzumaki." Said person glared at the one who called his name. "You are an enigma. After I trapped Jerry out here, I thought I would have access to everything. But your WOOHP file is nonexistent. In fact, everything about you exists nowhere." Tim said grimly as he could not shake the feeling inside him.

He knew about the girls and their personalities from surveillance and their employee files, but Naruto was almost bare. He thought the blonde was just a knucklehead whom Jerry thought he could turn into a viable spy. But from the video of his thrashing WOOHP's robots, his speed, and just now his unwavering determination to stop him even in space, Tim felt pressure from the moment they actually met.

There was something about him that made the tech criminal wary of him. The fact Naruto suspected him since their first meeting clarifies this feeling and his fighting abilities are something to be aware from this point.

"And you are just the same old bad guy who got caught with his hand in the cookie jar," Naruto sneered at the criminal. "Planning to destroy the Earth's water and hold it hostage?"

A flabbergasted Tim had to ask, "How do you know that?"

"I have my ways," Naruto answered triumphantly. "Though I prefer to have this conversation inside." Seeing the Earth small compared to the vastness of space really scares him though at the same time intrigues him. He and Alex wonder about new life in the solar system, hoping that their race is not alone. "Ah!"

He finally noticed Scam was not outside and followed after him inside the satellite. The door had just closed behind him while the pressure chamber was stabilizing, which engaged a fight as Scam noticed Naruto behind and lashed out with a reverse elbow strike. Naruto stopped the limb and slammed it against the wall as he kicked the inside of Scam's calf.

Tim buckled from the exerted force, but countered with an uppercut. Naruto saw it coming and moved his upper body to cushion the blow as he kicked Scam's back. Tim spun uncontrollably to the other door and grunted upon impact while Naruto fixed himself in zero gravity, landing on the opposite side.

Just then the pressure chamber stabilized as Naruto jumped towards Scam, their tussle floating into the main body of the transport. And they were not alone. Also in the grip of zero gravity was Sam, Alex, and Clover who stayed away. "Should we help him?" Alex asked curiously.

Naruto slammed Tim's helmet against the wall repeatedly.

"I think he's got it," answered Clover.

Scam retaliated with a double kick that sent Naruto spinning backwards to the opposite side.

"Maybe not." Sam cringed at the scene. "Let's help him, girls!"

Hearing them, and predicting their interference, Scam pointed the Evapoblaster and fired at the girls. By the time Naruto woke up, he gasped at what he saw. "What did you do?!" He demanded, engaging with Scam while disarming him of the weapon with a solid hand chop on his wrist.

The girls were sucked off of their youth after being blasted by the Evapoblaster. Apparently, it dries out the moisture from human bodies as well. "AAAHHH!" Clover screamed in horror after seeing her reflection in the window. "I'm hideous!"

"We're hideous!" Alex cried out after she saw hers while Sam fainted, her eyes swirling from the shock.

Their helmets retracting into their suits, Naruto and Scam reengaged in hand-to-hand combat. They spun around uncontrollably, which made them nauseous. "Zero-gravity combat training is a serious thing to be overlook by WOOHP." Naruto's cheeks puffed out as his throat was backed up.

Tim smirked and readied a leg strike, only his cheeks to puff out as well. "Dang it!"

Bitterly swallowing the chunks, Naruto used Scam's body to switch position as he was now behind him. He clenched his right fist before slamming it against Scam's face when he turned to face him. "Fuken (Wind Fist)!" A small breeze blew in the room as Scam hurtled against the opposite wall, his head hitting as a result. The Fuken is a taijutsu that concentrates small portions of ki into the user's fist to strengthen its concussive force against an opponent.

"All right!" An ecstatic Naruto shouted before he assumed a horrified expression. "Oh hell no!" He grabbed hold of something to act as a stabilizer and propelled himself to the girls while catching the Evapoblaster as well. The girls sighed in relief for their friend after seeing the disgusting floating vomit near Scam. "Okay, now that's over. How do you work this thing?" Naruto stopped, then pulled out his cell phone. "Here we go."

"AAHH! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" The girls screamed, horrified as Naruto took several pictures.

"Blackmail material."

After several minutes of careful navigation, both the vomit and the actual satellite, the girls' youth were restored and Jerry was saved once they connected to the other satellite.

TDxTDxTDxTD

(One Hour Later)

Naruto's House, San Fernando Valley

After all that's happened with Tim and making it back to Earth with the experimental ship and Jerry, the spies returned to relax from their death-defying experience in space. Plus, it was Friday which meant that it was Movie and Candy Night at Naruto's house. Though it wasn't like the girls' two-storied and luxurious houses in Beverly Hills, it was spacious inside and decorated like traditional Japanese house in the interior.

"So, we missed our snowboarding trip, but at least we saved the world," Sam summarized cheerily in her pajamas while her hair was tied up in a bun.

A hungry Alex paused in her ice-cream snack, "And we saved Jerry." She inputted afterwards.

"I never thought I'd admit it, but I was really starting to miss that old goat—I mean, mature guy," Clover said after fixing herself.

Just then, Naruto arrived with his arms full of soda, candy, and movies before dumping them on the table in the living room. In front of the couch and two chairs was the TV screen with the PlayStation 4 active. "Okay girls, we got everything we need. Now what movie should we watch first? And no repeats from last Friday." Naruto quickly said the last sentence since he didn't want to watch "He's Not that Into You" again.

"How about a comedy-action movie?" Clover suggested as her fellow blonde hastily agreed.

Alex sighed at this, "Like what?"

Naruto swiftly picked one up and almost shoved it in her face, "Deadpool!"

"That's too excessive!" Sam exasperatedly responded, scaring her friends. "We shouldn't be watching R-rated movies yet."

Clover, Alex and Naruto shared deadpan looks, "You suggested we watch "The Hangover" three months ago." Sam gawked before becoming sheepish.

"How about the classics like "The Lion King"?" Clover asked, receiving thumbs-up from his friends. Though the girls would deny of watching this movie to the public, they cannot betray the little kids inside them when they watched it. And Naruto is a big fan of the movie as it helped him through a tough time.

What that time was remained a mystery to them.

Unfortunately, their movie night was ruined as Jerry's face appeared on the television screen.

-"Good evening, team. Just wanted to stop by and officially thank you for saving my life."-

"Don't sweat it." Clover answered back.

"After all, you're just looking out for us," Naruto inputted before eating a Butterfinger.

-"Still, I did want to properly show my appreciation. And so, I'm sending you on a surprise ski trip to St. Moritz."-

"Sweet!" The teenagers exclaimed excitedly at a vacation.

-"But first, I have a mission for you kids. I need you to train the entire WOOHP canine division. That is of course, after you do your homework and clean your rooms. And I've got some filing for you."-

The happiness in the teens turned to anguish as they screamed "NNNOOO!"

END OF CHAPTER

Here is the second chapter and I'm surprised by the responses. I was honestly expecting ten reviews at the least. Anyway, this will meld Naruto and Totally Spies franchises including another franchise called Martin Mysteries. I haven't seen or thought about that series in such a long time. I fixed the chapter and it is chronologically sound in terms of episodes and whatnot. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and the third is on its way.

Chapter I Q&A's:

KuronpDono12 (Jan.11): The Web-Shooters will be one of his main gadgets along with others. I know, it would be weird if he had girl-like gear too. Of course, there are gadgets that is unisex in the series. The pairing will be hold off for now.

CrimsonSylvan (Jan.11): I agree and I hope to start that with the newest chapter as shinobi already began to cross paths with the spies. I'm glad you like it.

DarkShadowRaven (Jan.11): I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter and I hope the latest one satisfied you as well. Naruto would be the muscle and wealth of ninja knowledge.

Spark681 (Jan.11): He was born in this universe. Not an immortal or dimensional traveler.

Calderoneric758 (Jan.11): The pairing will be hold off for now.

XXX777 (Jan.11): Thanks.

Jebest4781 (Jan.11): With the responses I got, I'm continuing this story.

Linkiepie (Jan.11): I know. Same as my other story in Shinobi of Magix, speaking of which I am working on it.

Guest (Jan.11): I'm glad you like it.

Eric (Jan.11): I'm happy to hear that.

Story Artist (Jan.11): I'm surprised that there were little crossovers for the category as same for Thundercats, Martin Mystery and Winx Club. Hope this chapter continues to satisfy you.

Romancer (Jan.11): Really, they are in the same universe. Well, that could make this story much more interesting.

Glavie165 (Jan.12): Well, here is the second chapter.

R-king 93 (Jan.12): Thanks man.

Shadowwalker0 (Jan.14): The pairings will be hold off for now. The first three seasons will focus on their friendship and their ups-and-downs.

Grimreaper40045 (Jan.14): I'm glad it interested you.

179 (Jan.16): Oh, he is.

Gemm1mt (Jan.17): It will be a recurring theme throughout the story.

Earthly Entity (Jan.25): Naruto was born into the universe like a few characters.

Guest (Feb.9): Well, here it is.

Thedarkness1996 (Mar.13): I'm glad you enjoy the story so far and here is the latest chapter.

Oldbobby955 (Mar.31): I apologize but I do not speak or understand your language. I only hope you enjoyed the latest chapter.

Guest (Apr.9): Here is the second chapter. I hope it is good after a long while.

Kival737101 (Apr.21): I am proud to see you are enjoying the story so far. For now, the pairing will be held off and everyone will have to wait in the future.

Guest (Jun.7): We'll have to wait in the future for the pairing.

DragonMack (Jun.25): How come there is no love for the older cartoons that we grew up with? I want to keep it a single pairing, but this doesn't mean Naruto won't go out on dates. I'm glad you are enjoying the story so far. More will come.

Mpower (Jul.13): Thank you and I will. I've been thinking to update all stories at the same time since I've seen it done before. It's just the matter of putting the time into it.

Guest (Jul14): I will and I'm glad you enjoyed it.