The propagation proposal permutation

Caution... Spoilers for episode 12X12

The last episode just doesn't sit quite right. I need to come to grips somehow. I do not own the characters of Penny and Leonard Hofstadter or any other characters associated with the broadcast television show The Big Bang Theory.

After the girls left, Penny took her keys from the bowl and practically ran down the stairs to her car. She needed to go for a ride.

Leonard put down his remote from the video game he was playing with Sheldon when Amy walked through the door. He didn't really notice the bit of a sad look on her face because he was too caught up in what Sheldon had said. Was ge ignoring Penny's feelings?

Penny pulled onto Colorado boulevard not even thinking, Too many things were flying around in her head. Were the girls right? Was she just being selfish?

Leonard came across the hall and entered his apartment. He needed to talk to Penny. There was a problem to this plan though, Penny was not home. Not knowing just what he was going to do now, he looked around and started to tidy up the living room. It looked like Penny had left in a hurry after the Girls called it a night.

Penny found herself sitting in her car by the beach. For some reason, when things got bad, emotionally, she always seemed to come to the shore. There was a calming affect hearing the waves crash onto the beach. The sun was going down and it looked like it was going to be a good one. The night before, Zack didn't want to take the boat out because it was a little choppy. Tonight, it was a little chilly. Unfortunately, Penny hadn't thought to take a sweater or jacket when she left the apartment so she just sat in the car. There were other times she found herself walking this sandy stretch. When she found Kurt cheating on her she came here. Penny quickly put that memory aside. It was also at this very beach that she and Leonard had sex in the ocean. That particular thought brought a smile to her face. There were so many things different in her relationships between her old "types" and the one she had with her husband.

Leonard picked up the wine bottle and put it into the fridge. He wondered what the conversation between the girls must have been that there was actually some wine left in the bottle. It certainly wasn't normal. He straightened out the two piles of magazines on the coffee table, one of comic books, the other a pile of style and fitness magazines. The striking difference in their leisure reading material struck him. He couldn't imaging looking at her magazines any more than she could his. Sure there was that time the three girls "tried" to see what comic books were all about, but that never really went anywhere. Even the time Penny agreed to go to Comic Con... was just a misunderstanding between them. What were they doing? This episode with Zack was just bringing their differences out more. The truth is that Penny didn't want kids and he did. Why is it so wrong if there happens to be a child that carries his DNA?

The girls had said that it was natural for Leonard to want to have children, Amy supported his Mammalian needs to propagate his species. Penny just didn't want to have kids. Was that something she should have actually talked to Leonard about more strongly ALL through their on again off again romance? Would that have been something that would have a deal breaker for him? Is it still a deal breaker? Are they together only because they are married? What the HELL was Zack thinking... asking Leonard to be the father of his wife's child?

Leonard moved on to the kitchen. There were dishes to be washed. He didn't really feel like watching TV, this was the time of night that he and Penny would usually cuddle up on the couch and watch something together. It didn't even matter what it was that they were watching. They never seemed to pay all that much attention to the TV after a while anyway. It was really pretty surprising, what could happen with just a little closeness between them under a blanket on the couch.

Why couldn't Leonard see what was wrong with this whole idea? Penny slumped in her seat and rested her head against the window. The same thing happened when she told Leonard she didn't want kids. He got mad and just left. Their fights seemed to escalate quickly and then they just left each other alone. It always felt so bad. She didn't want kids, and Leonard did. Could she really stop him from fathering other kids? Zack made it pretty clear that if Leonard agreed that he couldn't actually have sex with Zack's wife. So technically, that meant Leonard wasn't cheating. The thing that made her mad was that Leonard didn't just say NO right off? He actually was considering it. And then when they had the fight, he seemed to blame the whole thing on her! But could she really keep leaving Leonard out of any of the decisions that could have a pretty big affect on their future? She doesn't want kids so they won't have kids. That's pretty easy. It's her body. Regardless of what Leonard wants. Is it right not telling him sooner? probably not. But he says he loves her and always had so...

Leonard started the dishes. Maybe Sheldon had something when he told Leonard that Penny would be uncomfortable if there was a half-Leonard out there somewhere. Not somewhere even, right here in Pasadena. Who know if Zack would even let him be a part of the baby's life? That would have to be worked out for sure. It would be hard to imagine Penny having a baby with another man, so why is it so strange for her to not want him to have a child with Zack's wife.

Penny walked into the apartment. "Hey".

Leonard looked up from drying some dishes. "I'm sorry".

Penny came over to the breakfast Island. "We should talk."

Leonard put the dis down. "I get it. If you are uncomfortable with this, then I won't do it".

Penny was surprised. "Really?"

Leonard shrugged. "Yeah, we're a team, we're in this together. We'll work it out".

Penny turned to go down the hallway. "I'll be right back". Leonard was a little confused.

Penny came back and put a small cup on the table. "Here".

Leonard frowned. "What's this?"

Penny looked at her husband. "It's a specimen cup".

Leonard looked over. "It looks like the cup from the NYQUIL".

Penny rolled her eyes. "Work with me here. When I said I didn't want kids you didn't have a say in that... Maybe I shouldn't have a say in this".

Leonard took the cup "Thank you, but you know I can't use this and I can't collet a specimen here."

Penny sighed. "Yes, Leonard, I know. You have to go to the sperm bank to make the deposit. You better call first, you never know if you need to make an appointment. And you should probably coordinate this with Zack."

Leonard looked at the cup. "Actually, you do not need an appointment, and they freeze the specimen because you don't know when the recipient is ovulating. So... I don't have to call and coordinate anything with Zack. Except fill out paperwork indicating that it is a targeted donation."

Penny frowned. "You seem to know an awful lot about this kind of a deposit. How is that?"

Leonard turned quickly to start putting the dishes away. "No reason".

Penny did another eye roll and walked over to her husband and took hold of his upper arm. "So... you want to see how Make up sex can fix this? And practice on getting a sample?"

Leonard put the towel down "Yes please!"

The next morning, Penny sat on the couch with her feet up. "So you're gonna do this huh?"

Leonard put on his jacket. "It actually is a little flattering. Also, maybe in a few years. Zack junior can take care of his parents. You have to admit the little guy will have his hands full though. Those two will need a LOT of caring for."

Penny just nodded in agreement. "Well... have fun".

Leonard walked to the door. "You want to come? It would be so much easier to make a deposit with you there".

Penny tilted her head. "Leonard, I am NOT going to a sperm bank to stand in a room naked just so my HUSBAND can donate a specimen in a cup for someone else's baby!"

Leonard opened the door. "Just asking". He then closed the door and Penny listened as he went down the stairs.

Penny reached over to Sheldon's spot and took the stripped pillow into her arms and clutched it tightly to her chest as tears slowly made their way down her cheek. She tried watching some TV and flipped through a Cosmopolitan Magazine, nothing could take her mind off Leonard donating his sperm for another couple's child. She threw the pillow at the TV and jumped off the couch. It took a little time, but she found the address to a sperm bank in Pasadena not far from Cal Tech. She figured that was probably the most likely place Leonard would be making his deposit. Throwing on a sweater and a pair of flats, She ran down the stairs and quickly made her way into traffic almost side swiping another car.

Getting to the sperm bank, she jumped out of her car and ran into the clinic spotting a nurse sitting at a reception desk doing a crossword puzzle. There were no other people in site. Standing patiently if not a little agitated, Penny suddenly interrupted the nurse. "Excuse me... did Leonard Hofstadter come here today? Is he still here?"

The nurse looked up from her crossword. "I'm sorry, that is information that I cannot give out".

Penny sighed. "I get that. it's just that Leonard is my husband and I need to talk to him." She started to look around at all the doors.

The nurse put down her crossword. "Now, little girl, I'm going to have to ask you to leave".

Penny spun on her heal and went over to the first door, knocking quickly. "Leonard?" There was no answer. She moved onto the next, no answer, At the third door, she heard a noise and she opened the door. Completely surprised, she stepped back and slammed the door. "SORRY...SORRY!" Penny was dejected. Leonard wasn't there, he must have gone to another sperm bank. She saw the nurse appear with what appeared to be a security officer and held up her hand. "I'm leaving... I'm leaving."

Before anything further could happen, Penny left the Sperm Bank and drove back to the apartment. It was still cool out, but the sun was bright in the sky and it seemed warmer than the temperature. Not wanting to go back to the empty apartment, Penny walked down to the park nearby and sat on a bench watching a group of children play Frisbee. All that had happened since Leonard had left the apartment that morning was becoming too much for her.

Not long past before Penny felt more than saw someone sit down on the bench next to her. A hand touched her shoulder and she looked over. "LEONARD!"

Leonard smiled. "So... what are you doing here?"

Penny threw her arms around her husband's neck and kissed him. Pulling back she needed to know. "Where were you?"

Leonard sighed. "I went to the sperm bank near work".

Penny took her arms down. "I went to find you, you weren't there. It wasn't that long after you left... you shouldn't have been done with your business THAT quick."

Leonard shrugged. "I got there after you did and was told that someone claiming to be my wife came in and caused quite a ruckus."

Penny looked wide eyed at her husband. "Where were you?"

Leonard looked at the surprised face of his wife. "I needed to think. I took a walk around campus first. Why were you at the sperm bank?"

Penny took Leonard's hands in hers. "Okay, look. I know I have been a little too bossy with all this lately, but it really shouldn't come as too much of a surprise. You very well know that I had pretty severe commitment issues. I really don't handle serious change any better that Dr. Wackadoodle. You know how hard it was for me to finally agree to getting married. It was only a matter of time before you started pressuring me about having kids. Especially since I told you one of my problems was that I needed to feel more accomplished. Well, since I am Zangen's top sales person this quarter, there really isn't much more to accomplish. I was afraid you were going to start to push and I just panicked... you know, like I always do. So I said I didn't want to have kids."

Leonard looked at his wife with furrowed eye brows. "What?"

Penny looked nervous. "Things seemed to calm down once you became more comfortable with not having kids. Everything was going great... until Zack asked that question. And then you didn't say NO right away which meant you were considering having kids anyway...with anybody... and we had a fight."

Leonard was no better after this explanation. "Where are you going with this?"

Penny looked down and then up into Leonard's eyes. "I don't want you to have a baby with another woman. It took me too long to figure out that you were the best thing that ever happened to me, the best guy I ever went out with. the best lover I ever had. We're married. That means something. It means we're together forever. We're here to support each other. We need to talk this stuff out".

Leonard tilted his head questioningly. "What are you saying?"

Penny looked more nervous than he had ever seen her. "I'm saying that if you're going to have a baby... then it has to be with ME!. Half you and half ME."

Leonard smiled. "You want to have a baby?"

Penny could see the excitement in his eyes and it scared her. "I don't know. I didn't think so... not until you left this morning and you were going to give yourself to someone else. It really upset me, I had to do something. I love you, your mine now. ALL of you... and that includes all your sperm. I don't know if I want kids or not, but I'm willing to talk about it. and it can't be just a yes and no answer. We really need to talk about it. This is a BIG step. It's TERRIFYING! We'll be responsible for another human being."

Leonard took Penny into a hug. "We can talk about it as long as you want. The truth is, I went to the sperm bank to tell them I wasn't going to give then a donation. I couldn't imagine a baby out there that WAS half me and NOT half you. That is the only kind of baby I want. Half Leonard, half Penny."

Penny raised her head and looked into Leonard's eyes. "Smart?"

Leonard smiled back. "And Beautiful."