Can't breathe.

Can't breathe.

CAN'T BREATHE-

I gasp for breath and jolt upright like something out of Pulp Fiction. Chest heaving, my hands slip down from my throat, and then up to cover my face.

What the fucking hell.

I peek out from my fingers to scan the room. The panic might still be crashing through me, but I can clearly see I've woken up in a shed. How did I end up in a shed? What was I... How... Who? Who am I?

"A very good question," I hold out my shaking hands and stare at them like they're shady alley cats, "What the hell is my name?"

Kiyo.

"Kiyo? Kiyo... That sounds," I tried to steady my breathing, flexing my fingers to stop the shaking, "...right. That sounds right. I'm Kiyo."

There is a door in front of me, and the overwhelming need to GET OUT propels me off the floor. I stumble to the door and knock it open with my weight. Standing had felt funny. Moving my legs had felt wrong. It was like my whole body felt off in a way I couldn't put my finger on. On my hands and knees in the dirt outside, I look to the sky and take the deepest, calming breath I can. And then another. The dirt feels like dirt should under my hands, and the sky looks as the sky should, a nice pale blue. Nothing crazy, nothing wild. Good, good. I turn my head to look back. That is not a shed. That is a hut. Like, not crazy primitive, but definitely not something I would expect to see in my time. Or culture.

What?

"Where am I?"

Home.

Home? This is my house? This is...This is... Yes, this is...

"No. That's wrong. This is not my home-"

Sucker punch to the gut.

I'm retching.

Flickering.

My parents' farm.

My dog. My cats.

My husband. M-

Dead. Deaddeaddead.

Why did he do that? Left me.

Alone.

Left me alone.

Why'd he do that? Do that to himself?

Name.

What's my name?

Kiyo.

Gasping again. I'm gasping for air and I didn't know I had moved, but my back hits the side of the hut as I claw at the dirt, as I claw at my chest, claw at clothes that I've never worn. Kiyo is not my name. My name is... My name is... My NAME-

Kiyo.

No, that's not right, but why does it FEEL right at the same time? I can't remember my name... My name from... From before... What was before? Farming. Planting. Harvesting. Tending to the sheep- What the fuck, no. We never had sheep on my parents' farm. Wrong. That's wrong- Family gone. Taro. Husband. New plot. Small plot. Strangers. Gone. Crops and cattle- I pry my eyes open. The garden is trampled. The wooden fence posts are broken. The fields are torn up and scorched. What happened- Taro gone. No Husband, no life-

The fuck, NO. I don't know if I meant to, but the back of my head smacks sharply against the side of the hut. With whatever mental strength I have, I push all these foreign memories down. Push them back, back from wherever they came from, and lock them away. I don't need that shit in my head right now. I am a grown ass woman, and I can definitely live without a husband. I have for almost two years now, and I am not about to stop. Kiyo, you need to get your shit together. Life doesn't stop just because the one we love dies. At least that's what my mother kept telling me after his death. She was trying to be encouraging, I'm sure. Also, lots of other fish in the sea talks and all that. Probably not the best inspirational speeches to hear only a couple months into widowhood, but I like to think she was trying help. In her own way.

Okay Kiyo, enough with the pep talks. I need to take stock of what the hell is going on. Wet. Something is wet. I see the water on my hands and wrist. It can't be raining, the sky is blue. I brush at my cheeks and find them soaked in tears. Okay then, definitely feeling a little emotional right now.

A quick survey of the surrounding area does not reveal any other humans in sight, which is probably for the best, seeing as I just had a weird breakdown out in the open. I did, though, spy a cat. To be more accurate, the cat approached me once I had stopped flailing. Said cat sits calmly in front of me, and then lets out the most obnoxious husky meow I have ever heard from a black and white tuxedo. Probably had a Siamese parent with a voice like that. Could make any ear bleed. I loved it.

"Do you smoke?" I go squinty eyed at the cat, "You should probably quit, if you do. You sound like you go through a pack a day... Would you like to come with me into my hut?"

Cat looked at me like I was the stupidest peasant he...or she...had ever come across. I push the door open, and Cat prances in like this is the normal way of things.

"Excellent. You are my first friend. Welcome, new friend Cat."

I follow, because the hut doesn't seem like such a bad place to be now that Cat is also an occupant, and I see that there is a sink, a stove of some sort in a corner, and a bed roll on the floor. That was probably where I was before I... Woke up. An investigation of what looks like a closet, is actually the toilet. Awesome. Now what?

Check to see if I have working water? Seems like a good idea. I fiddle with the faucet and... Nothing happens. Cool. Where does a person get water?

Apparently, my face.

I scrub at my face, willing the tears to stop, to no avail, mind you. So we don't have running water, no biggie, we'll figure something out. I start rummaging through the cupboards that span the same wall with sink and stove. I am happy to find a covered bucket of water. I am perplexed that the only other thing I find is a bag of rice, and it looks like rodents have already started in on it. This situation is just plain depressing.

"What do you suggest we do?"

Cat cracks an eye open at my question, looking perfectly content, curled up on the bed roll, before giving a huff, curling up tighter and going back to napping. Actually, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea, considering my current circumstances, and I was already used to hiding from my problems by sleeping life away. I found a rough blanket, and joined Cat on the bed roll. With my nose buried in cat fur, I was out like a light.

Human noises wake me. It sounds like people are gathering outside, loud chatter and pounding of feet. Instinct has me freezing, holding my breath as I listen. I have no idea how long I was sleeping, but through cracks in the covered windows, I can see daylight, so either not very long or about a day. Maybe if I stay really quiet, no one will notice me and I'll be left alone. There's this painful, miserable feeling just under my breastbone that wants nothing to do with the commotion going on, but the logical part of my brain, the part I feel is the most ME right now, tells me I should go gather as well, because this is a strange place, and there's safety in numbers, plus, I might figure out where the hell I am. So, there's a lot going for the get-up-and-see plan. Not to mention that the stay-in-bed-and-hide plan is based purely on a negative feeling, and feelings are not facts. At least, that's what my therapist is always telling me.

All my musings are pointless when a young girl enters my house. I say young, but she's probably 12 or 13, so really, she's just, a girl. She's plain, nothing stands out to me that gives me a clue about where I am or what's going on. She's a little dirty, a little thin, but considering that it looks like a natural disaster of some kind happened outside, it's not too concerning.

"Kiyo-san, you need to get up. We're leaving."

We're leaving? Who's 'we'? Why are we leaving? Okay, that's kind of a stupid question, it looks like a battlefield out there. But, like, who is this girl and why did she call me Kiyosan? Is that my full name? Come to think of it, I have no recollection of a last name. Mayne my last name is Sand? While I think this and just…stare at the girl, she comes over, picks up Cat, who just lets this happen like some kind of rag doll, and offers me her hand.

"Please Kiyo-san, you have to come with us. You can't stay here by yourself."

This…is probably true. I only have a bucket of questionable water and rodent infested rice. I push myself up, ignoring her helping hand because she already has Cat and I really don't think she can help lift me, and though I stagger a little, I can stand on my own. Still, that offered hand takes one of mine, and I'll led out of my hut by the girl, like some errant child. I look around and see that a large group of people are being gathered into a kind of caravan line. There are people on the outskirts like sheepdogs, wearing dark clothes with green vests. They all have some form of head band or covering. This does not bode well. Oh no, this does not bode well at all.

I ask, "Where are we going?" But I fear I already know.

"They're taking us to Konoha were we will be safe! Isn't that great?"

Oh man, I think I'm in a fictional world. But, that's like, insane. I can't be in the Naruto universe, it doesn't really exist. Right?