I don't know why writing this chapter was like pulling teeth

Leah

The world was darkness.

For the longest time I felt like I was just floating. Awareness was a long distant memory. I could have been in that inky blackness for years or for hours.

There were brief moments when I felt myself drift closer to the surface. Closer to reality. Where the dark curtain would part and a small stream of light would pour through. However, whenever I would get closer to consciousness my body would feel infinitely heavier. Like the awareness of my body became its own lead weight.

Most of the time I could manage only one blink before exhaustion pulled me back under.

There was no pain at least.

Just a jumble of chaotic thoughts and sensations. My mind was not awake enough to comprehend anything that was happening to me. Only flashes of colour or the sound of a sweet voice.

Time was a lost concept.

Everything was muted in the depths of unconsciousness. Thought, sound, feeling. With nothing to hold onto, it would have been so easy just to slip away.

Every so often my dark world would glow a deep golden. It pulled at my mind. My soul.

It centred me and anchored me.

Drew me closer.

It felt warm. It felt like home. A far cry from the cold darkness I was currently experiencing. The flashes were only brief but I endeavoured to follow them. It was purely instinctual as no cognitive thoughts could break through the thick fog that was my mind.

Awareness creeped in slowly. So much slower than all the other times I had fallen unconscious.

First it was sound. A strange jumble of sounds that I could not distinguish at first. But then my ears were drawn to a melodic sound. Sometimes it was sweet and other times it had a soft gruffness to it. No words were discernible but my half-conscious mind clung to them.

After a little while I began to be able to pick out some of the words. It was a song of some kind.

The heaviness in my limbs abated at a snail's pace. But eventually I could feel where my body was. As far as I could tell, all of my body parts were accounted for.

Most of me lay across something soft and warm. It took a little while to realise that one of my hands was a lot warmer than the other though.

"Come on Leah." the words sounded distant at first but became sharper as the voice continued. "Please, please wake up."

My lungs drew in a sharp breath as my mind recognised the voice.

Kili.

Someone next to me stirred at the change of my breathing. The warm pressure around one of my hands increased. I realised then that someone must have been holding it.

"Leah! Can you hear me? Can you open your eyes? Please." His voice broke on the last word and I felt something break in me.

The last tethers-trying to force me back into unconsciousness-were snapped as I heard the hurt in Kili's voice. I needed to get to him.

It took several long moments before I could find the muscles to make my eyelids move. They twitched sluggishly as I tried to force them open. I managed a few blinks before I had to scrunch them closed again. After so long in that darkness, the bright light from my surroundings almost burned. I groaned against the sensation.

"Wait, wait, don't worry.." My hand was suddenly let go and I lamented against the lost contact.

My fingers stretched trying to find Kili. I heard the sound of shuffling, ruffling of fabric and a faint blow of air. The light that permeated my closed eyes was greatly lessened and I relaxed slightly. Then, blissfully, the hand returned to mine and squeezed reassuringly.

When I blinked again it did not hurt as much and I found I could keep them open. At first, all I could discern was a swirl of colour. It took a few blinks before the world refocused and repainted itself around me. The first thing I was drawn to was the sight of a very relieved Kili. There were unshed tears forming in his eyes but a wide smile was spread across his face.

"Leah." He reached a hand towards me and cupped my face gently.

I leaned into the warmth, the corners of my mouth ticked upwards.

"Kili" I said, the words barely above a whisper as I tried to get my mouth to work.

"Are you really awake this time?" He asked, with unrestrained hope in his voice.

This time? Had I woken up before? I had no memories of that.

"I think so."

I attempted to move my body. Stretching my finger, my toes. Then I tried to sit up. The movements were lethargic. A deep-seated ache in my muscles had me clenching my teeth. It took a lot to move them, especially my right arm.

"Stop, stop. You're going to hurt yourself." said Kili, shooting to his feet. "You need to take it slow."

Kili reached behind me and helped to prop me up on several pillows. That way I was vaguely in a sitting up position. It at least gave me a better view of the room I was in.

It was definitely a tent of some kind. With its white canvas walls and heavy fabric in place of a door. Only this was one of the fancier ones. It was fully kitted out with rather expensive furniture. There were cushioned seats and an oakwood table. The floor was covered by a thick rug of some kind. And I also appeared to be laying on a real bed. Not one of the cots I'd been used to recently.

Where did all of this come from? I remember Ada had brought a few things with him but a lot of that was burned by Smaug.

Something nagged at the back of my mind. There was definitely something that I was supposed to be remembering. Something very pressing and urgent. But my mind was still catching up with itself and was not co-operating well.

Why was I here in the first place?

When I tried to discern that, all I could garner were quick fleeting images. The flash of a sword, a monster charging. Red, so much red. My head twinged trying to sort through it all. I brought my hand up to try and dull the pain.

"Hey, are you okay? Do you need anything? Water?"

That's when I realised that my mouth was incredibly dry. It would also be something I could hold onto.

"Water, please."

Kili poured me a cup from a pitcher someone had left on the table. He handed it to me but made sure that my hands were secure before he moved away. I brought it up to my mouth and sipped it. It was cold and was doing wonders for the awful taste that was clinging to my tongue. I knew I shouldn't just down it all but it was quite a struggle not to.

"Leah, do you remember what happened?" Kili asked. His tone was incredibly gentle as if he thought I was very fragile.

What happened?

My mind conjured images of its own accord.

A line of orcs.

A clash of swords.

Stone ruins towering above me.

Red.

So much red.

There was so much blood.

My breathing and heart rate picked up rapidly as my mind finally caught up with itself. Oh my god the battle!

"Thorin!...is he?...I tried to" I was very quickly on my way to hyperventilating.

The fight with Azog flooded my mind.

Azog looming over Thorin.

Me jumping in between the two of them.

The sickening pain of his knife as it cut through my shoulder.

The sound of Thorin collapsing onto the ground.

He was bleeding so badly. He was going to die.

There was so much blood. I tried to heal him. I was giving everything but there was so much blood.

The cup had slipped out of my hands and I could feel the water soaking into my blanket. I was too far gone to care.

Kili was instantly next to me. He bundled me up into his arms, cradling my head to his chest. His pulse was strong and steady compared to mine. I clung to the sleeve of his shirt with a fierce grip.

"Shh shh. Breathe, Leah. Just breathe." His hand rubbed soothing circles onto my back.

I tried to calm my breathing but they came out as sort of half sobs. Did Thorin make it? I didn't think I would be able to cope if he was gone. He couldn't be gone. We couldn't have failed.

Kili pulled back so that I could see his face. His eyes were wide but there was also a brightness in them. "Thorin is alive."

"He's alive?" The words were a strangled sob.

He nodded. A tear of his own slipped down his cheek.

" Fili?" There was a new burgeoning hope in my voice.

"And Fili" Kili breathed.

It felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I was breathless and weightless. My limbs were still heavy and sluggish but I don't think I had ever felt lighter. Like a huge, crushing weight, that I never even noticed before, had disappeared.

The pressure. It was the weight of all their lives-those sons of Durin-that I had thrust upon my own shoulders. I'd piled so much responsibility on myself. To keep them safe. To keep them alive.

Only once the pressure was gone did I realise how much it was weighing me down. That constant fear that the worst could happen. That we would get this far and we would still lose them. It wouldn't be enough. I wouldn't be enough.

But we did it.

They're alive. Oh my god they're alive!

I would have collapsed if I wasn't already sitting. My whole body sagged against Kili and he tightened his grip around me. I could have been sobbing or I could have been laughing. It was probably somewhere between the two.

Every emotion I had felt on this journey-be it fear, anger, relief or happiness-I poured all of them out of me. Right onto Kili's shirt.

"We did it. We did it"

I don't think tears had ever felt so good.

oOo

It took a little while for me to calm down. And longer still before I relinquished my death grip on Kili. But he convinced me to let him go find my family.

Apparently I had been unconscious for four days. Four whole days!

Kili explained how he had found me with Thorin. He tried to hide it but I could still see a real pain in his he described how I was trying to heal him but was using too much energy. He said that if Fili had not stopped me then he felt like I would have faded. When I asked how he had known he became visibly nervous. Looking away and fidgeting with his hands. When he explained about how my actions affected him I nearly started crying again.

In a bid to save one person I had nearly killed another. Including myself.

I had been so close to dying and I hadn't even known.

Kili tried to calm me down by saying that they had gotten there in time. Fili had pulled me away at just the right moment. But my mind refused to stop dwelling on the what-if's.

"Thorin would have died without you, Leah." Kili grabbed my chin so that I would look at him. "You healed him enough so that he could be brought to safety."

Hearing that did help a little.

Kili told me about the Eagles. About how Lythor had helped me once again. They brought me to the healing tents where the healers worked tirelessly on me. The wound in my shoulder was apparently a mess. I'm glad I hadn't been aware enough to see just how mangled it was.

Now there was only a scar. A band of white skin that went from my collarbone to the top of my breast. Another one for the collection. My body was tiger striped at this point. A criss cross of long jagged scars. It was hard not to feel self conscious about it. When Kili saw the look on my face he told me to knock it off.

A lot of things happened while I was out. The battle ground was cleared and all of the Orcs were burned. I am very glad I was not awake for that. I don't need that smell haunting my dreams forever.

All the injured were brought to Dale to be treated. The elves worked around the clock to heal them all. Plenty of dwarves and men also volunteered their own services. They may not have had magic but there was still a lot they could do. Any medical training was welcomed. It was a herculean effort between all three races. Most of the injured made it with only a few of them succumbing to their wounds.

There were still a lot of funerals to be had though. So many people had laid down their lives in this battle. To fight and protect. I did not want to know the number of how many were lost.

Many of the Elves returned to Mirkwood to get more supplies. That was where a lot of my tents' furniture had been from. Ada wanted me to be comfortable. They had debated whether or not they should have brought me back to the Elven halls. But they decided that it was best not to move me.

Kili told me that people had been taking shifts next to my bedside in case I woke up. They didn't want me to wake up alone. That was also where the singing had come from. Mum had been singing next to me because that was what roused me last time. She had roped Kili into it a few times.

I was almost bowled over when Legolas came bombing into my room. He wrapped me in his arms and lifted me into the air. Only to be chastised by pretty much everyone. They thought I was too delicate right now for such rough housing. I knew I could take it though.

It was so good to see all my family. They had had their own tough trials throughout the battle but thankfully they did not look worse for wear.

Mum and Ada both gave me crushing hugs. They told me that they were proud of me. But Ada decided to tag "But if you ever do anything so life-threatening again I'm going to lock you away and throw away the key" onto the end of it.

Obviously I knew he didn't mean it literally and that it came from a place of love. So I just shook my head and smiled at him.

I got many dwarf visitors as well. A very happy Dain showed up at one point. He proceeded to still call me himrûna. As well as saying that I was "One crazy bastard" for the stunts I'd pulled. Apparently I was one of the only Elves that was okay in his books. Even if I was that pointy eared prick's daughter. Anyone that would save their King is a person worth having a drink with.

He even offered to have a burping competition with me. Though I doubted I would do very well in it, I would probably give it a good go.

He was eventually shuffled away because he was 'disturbing the peace too much'. Which even he couldn't argue with. I doubt peaceful was a setting Dain was capable of.

Thrain was another visitor. I was so glad to see that he had made it. Even as old as he was he still put up a good fight. I shouldn't have underestimated him before. In my defence though the guy had only just escaped from literal hell. My worry was justified.

He came to thank me once more for saving his son. He made a joke about how he wasn't sure he would ever stop thanking me. First him, then his nephews and now his son. Apparently I was accumulating quite a few debts to be repaid. Though I don't know how or when I'd ever cash those in.

I'd probably use them to get an extra slice of cake or something.

Nearly the whole company tried to squish their way into my tent once they knew I was awake. All of them wanted their own hugs and I was happy to oblige. Fili in particular had to almost pry me off him. I was just so ecstatic to see him alive and well that my emotions took over. He was appreciative of the hug nonetheless.

It was a day later before they actually let me leave my tent. There was still one person I had not seen. Thorin was in a tent of his own. Still healing from his fight with Azog. His wounds were completely healed now but his body was still weakened. He was just starting to get his feet back under him. It would take at least a week or two before he was back to himself again.

Kili led the way for me. When I went into his tent he was sitting on the edge of his bed. His teeth were gritted as he used his stomach muscles to sit. I knew that feeling. Even though my shoulder was healed the muscles around it were still tender. It hurt if I moved them too much. I could only imagine how much it must hurt with a stomach wound.

He was surrounded by many dwarves. Which had apparently been a near constant thing. The joys of being King I guess, you'll never be left on your own.

Thorin's eyes shot to mine. Then he turned to the people in the room. "You can leave us."

There were a few protests from the dwarves. Fretting about the state of Thorin's health. He looked about ready to roll his eyes at the whole affair.

"I'll be fine for 5 minutes" he grumbled.

The dwarves reluctantly filed out of the tent. As soon as they left, Thorin made to stand. His jaw tightened as he did so but he managed it.

He was alive.

I know that everyone had already told me that he was alive but it was hard to really believe it. Not when the only image my brain would conjure was Thorin's dying breath. Until I replaced that image with one of him alive it refused to budge.

But here he was. Injured but alive.

What I felt when I finally saw him was beyond words. "It's good to see you, Thorin" I said, the words were a little shaky but I was keeping a lid on my emotions.

"Oh Leah" he said before stepping forwards and enveloping me in a hug. "I can't believe what you did."

He pulled back so that I could see him "Taking a blade for me. Healing me. It was incredible and courageous and so so idiotic. It nearly cost you your life. I am not worth that price"

"Oh don't be stupid. Of course you're worth it, Thorin." I urged "I think of you as family now too and I would do anything for my family."

Thorin smiled at that despite himself. "I cannot begin to understand the powers that brought you here Leah. But I owe them so much because I can honestly say that I am better for having met you."

The lid on my emotions had now well and truly failed. "I'm better for knowing you too."

My life had changed so much over the past year. I had been a Human in a completely different world. The only people I really had in my life were my Mum and my best friend. I'd lost one of them and it would always hurt to know that I would never be able to see Anika again. Yet I had also gained more family than I knew what to do with.

The quest and the battle were over now. We had the whole future ahead of us. I didn't want to jinx it but I think that future looked bright.

I can't believe we've come to the end!
For better or for worse this has been near enough a year of hard work. I'm quite proud.

I know this chapter is not great but I thought I'd post it so that it was finally finished.
Some of you may have noticed that I have edited a few of the early chapters. I'm going back and tidying them all up. There will probably be a few additions as I edit them but it shouldn't change the story. I'll probably end up writing a more poignant ending at some point. When my creativity comes back from quarantine.

I will be doing a sequel that will mostly be one shots about Leah's new life