Epilogue

"Do you, Harry James Stark, take Miss Delacour as your lawful, wedded wife?" Dumbledore said with a rather comical wiggle of his bushy eyebrows.

"I do," Harry said, trying to reign in his laughter.

"And do you, Fleur Isabelle Delacour, take Mister Stark as your lawful, wedded husband?"

"I do," Fleur said confidently, staring into Harry's playful smirk and sparkling green eyes. She took a deep breath, and spoke again, in time with her life-long love.

"I join my mate in our next great adventure," they spoke together; quietly, but everyone could hear, as silent as they were. "I will stand by their side, support them, comfort them, protect them, and cherish them for so long as I take breath. I am yours, and you are mine, 'til death do us part."

"Then I proclaim the two of you man and wife," Dumbledore said, wiping a tear from his eye.

A moment of silence. It was broken by Ron's jeering. "What are you waiting for, man? Kiss her!"

Harry didn't need to be told twice; he scooped the beautiful Frenchwoman into his arms and pulled her waist in for a dramatic, romantic kiss. The attendees, as few as they were, cheered loudly; transfigured doves flew out in every direction, leaving behind occasional feathers floating slowly to the ground. Harry finally pulled away from the breathless woman, wearing a silly grin on his face.

"We're married," he commented stupidly.

"Yes," Fleur said, seeming just as surprised. "We are."

"Will the wedded couple have the first dance?" Dumbledore asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

Fleur and Harry smiled at each other. The past fourteen years they'd been getting to know each other, they'd practiced their swing dancing and even tried out tango, but right now, they only cared for a slow dance. The music, deep, rhythmical and almost dream-like, lulled them into a trance, into a daydream, where the two of them were the only characters in the world.

And they were alright with that.

They hadn't noticed the other couples come onto the stage. Ronald Stark and Katherine Bell-Stark, Sirius Black and Luna Lovegood, James Potter Jr. and Faye Potter, Rubeus Hagrid and Olympe Maxime, James Potter Snr. and Lily Potter, Cedric Diggory and Gemma Farley, Remus and Nymphadora Lupin, Draco and Ginevra Malfoy, Viktor Krum and Hermione Krum, Severus Snape and Aurora Sinistra.

Harry and Fleur, not particularly interested in marriage, had been the last of all their friends to be married or engaged. They'd spent about ten years traveling the world, visiting magical communities and learning new things. Ron and Katie had gone their own way, and once or twice they'd seen each other on their trips. The duel Ron and Harry had, with all the extra skills in their repertoire, was truly legendary.

Luna had started dating Sirius once she graduated from school. Sirius was uncomfortable at first, but Luna didn't care what Sirius thought about the matter, apparently. The two of them now went on trips as often as Ron, Katie, Harry and Fleur did, but their expeditions were more centered around exotic magical creatures.

Jim and Faye had gotten married almost immediately after school - like father, like son, Harry assumed. Both were respected Aurors now, having been the last cohort that Mad-Eye trained before the grumpy man went into retirement. Cedric had hooked up with Gemma after the Battle for Hogwarts, after the strangely un-Slytherin, tattooed and pierced girl had witnessed his impressive abilities and his charming personality.

Remus and Lupin fell in love when they were rounding up escaped Death Eaters. The former's shy, skittish personality had merged with the aggressive, confident nature of the werewolf once when he took the wrong dosage of Wolfsbane. The man became the perfect hybrid of confidence and humility. Nymphadora had wondered what the hell had brought on such a change from the man - he'd even asked her to dinner! - and decided to give it a try, which she very much enjoyed.

Draco and Ginny were a surprise - Molly was dearly confused, and Arthur took time accepting that Draco was not a clone of his father (probably) - but they made for a happy couple, constantly bickering and snarking at each other. Draco, much like his father, became a cunning businessman, dipping his fingers into about a dozen pies, while Ginny naturally went to play Quidditch professionally.

Viktor was also playing Quidditch professionally - in Puddlemere, of all places. Apparently he'd insisted on it. Turned out it was so he could see Hermione again - a romance story that made Harry gag, but Hermione was happy so he guessed it wasn't a big deal.

And Snape? Harry was not entirely sure what he'd been smoking when he got the idea to hook up the astronomy teacher with the dungeon bat, but it must have been some good shit. To his and literally everyone's surprise (probably Snape's and Sinistra's as well), Snape was able to act cordially towards the young, dark and attractive astronomy professor. Progress was slow, but sure, and they were engaged, though their wedding was scheduled a few months from now.

After they danced a bit longer, Fleur and Harry went to cut the cake. The cake was simple, with two tiers, but the top had animated chocolate figurines - one of Harry and one of Fleur, chasing around one of Ron while one of Katie laughed with her hands on her stomach - that must have taken some time to animate. The newlyweds grinned at each and cut down with a giant goblin-made cleaver they'd rented out for this occasion.

"Who wants the first piece?" Fleur asked, and Harry rolled his eyes as Albus 'Sweet-Tooth' Dumbledore made his way over. She continued to expertly slice the cake - the cleaver was so sharp that the icing was not disturbed at all - into thin pieces and handed them out to the guests.

Harry watched with a small smile as the guests sat around the circular table and began to chatter. Most of what they were talking about were silly stories at his expense, but he didn't mind. He liked it here. It was… nice.

Two men and two women appeared in the Department of Mysteries. They were the only ones here; everyone else was at home, celebrating Victory Day. Ironically enough, they were sneaking about when everyone was at home for the public holiday created in their honor.

The four sorcerers were old, very old. They'd lived on this world a very long time, now, a happy and full life. Lived long enough to see humanity go on a manned mission beyond the solar system. Lived long enough to see Muggles crack the code of DNA and invent a pseudo-immortality that Voldemort would have killed for. Lived long enough to see wars and conflicts kill in the billions, both on earth or otherwise.

They were close to death. But they weren't ready to die just yet. There was a whole universe to explore. New rules to discover, new games to play. Even after three hundred years of life, they were not yet close to figuring out all the magic that swirled around them. So, the old men had suggested they do what they had done before to arrive on this world.

They looked up at the rough stone arch. Looked like a pile that someone had stolen straight out of Stonehenge, but ancient, undecipherable, possible even inhuman runes were carved into the stone, still visible even after tens of thousands of years of exposure to rain and wind. One symbol was carved into the top of the arch; a circle inside a bisected triangle. The Deathly Hallows.

All three items were in Harry's possession once more, after Sirius gave back the Elder Wand upon his death. He'd died happily, surrounded by great-great-grandchildren. Luna's sudden loss to disease had taken out a lot of him, and he'd declined their offer of taking him along. He just wanted to see Luna again, in the end. Harry respected that.

"We're back where we started," Ron spoke quietly.

"That we are," Harry agreed. He turned to his wife and best mate's wife. "Are you both ready?"

Fleur, her hair still as smooth and strong as she was as when they met, nodded. "I have always been ready."

"So am I," Katie agreed.

"Then hold close," Ron ordered, clasping Harry's arm and Katie's in the other. Harry grabbed Fleur, who in turn grabbed Katie. "Now, imagine apparating. Apparating back in time, to a time when we were still kids, with time to grow up. Imagine a time…"

And, together, they fell backwards into the Veil of Death.

World 3 (World 2 for Katie, Fleur)

"We made it," Ron grinned.

"This is…" Katie breathed. "Amazing. All my joint pains are gone!"

"We now have another lifetime to explore the world to our heart's content," Harry grinned.

World 4

"Ron, are you seriously wasting your time with that dumb YouTube account? You've been trying for four years and you've only gained…" Harry squinted, then snorted. "One-hundred and six subscribers."

"Suck my balls," Ron said irritably. "I care about every subscriber like they're my own child."

World 6

"Hey, Harrikins, remember when you were mocking my YouTube channel? Now you're making an Instagram meme page? Seriously?"

"And I still get more money off this account than you ever did on your dumb channel."

World 9

"President Stark!" A man dressed in a crisp, black suit burst into the Oval Office with an unusual amount of fear and urgency in his voice. A redheaded President looked up at the spook, his face calmer than ice. A President of the United States, re-elected last year, known as the coldest, most brutal President since the beginning of the Cold War.

"What do you want?"

The man swallowed. From the news he bore or Ron's cold blue eyes, he didn't know. "The Air Force has detected seventeen hundred missiles incoming on American soil, Mister President."

"Missiles? Nuclear missiles?"

"It appears so, sir."

"Is the SDI online?"

"Yes, sir. The Air Force is attempting to burn away the missiles as we speak. However, there are too many for two SDI units to obliterate." He stammered. "We're trying to disable those on route to Washington D.C…."

"Enough." The words were cut off immediately with a single word spoken in a slight southern drawl. "Play the evacuation tapes. Air raid sirens. All of them. Once that is done, I wish to access my own nuclear weapons. We will wage total war. We will drag the Reds down to Hell with us."

"...yes, sir."

"May God have mercy on our souls."

Inwardly, though, Ron was grinning like a madman. Katie and Fleur hadn't approved, saying it was barbaric… but playing a Fallout game in real life? Who could resist? With Harry as the President of the USSR and himself at the head of the US… anything was possible. And a lot of fun.

World 14

"All Hail, the Lord of House-Elves, Dobby Thunderfist!" Ron crowed.

"All Hail!"

The wizards and witches, dressed in dirty rags and hoods made from pillow-cases, lowered themselves onto their knees and bowed their heads. Meanwhile, Dobby, dressed in chainmail made from gold and a crown made of goblin-steel, strode up the steps to his throne with his gangly legs. He plopped himself on the Holy Beanbag and looked down upon his subjects.

"Youse may rise, priests of Dobby-Church!" Dobby proclaimed.

The wizards and witches climbed to their feet, thanking Dobby for being so generous with his subjects. The four Archbishops - Ron, Katie, Harry and Fleur - had to stifle their laughter each time. Dobby had a wonderful mischievous streak that they could cultivate. In fact, Dobby, despite only having been traveling with them for two worlds now, had taken up the role with zeal.

"Grave news has reached Dobby's floppy ears, priests of Dobby-Church," Dobby said with a faux grave expression on his face, tugging on his flappy ears. "Dobby has been given news from Archbishop Ron that the wicked Kreacher-cult is planning to give Dobby… give Dobby secondhand clothes!"

Priests gasped in horror or rage. "How dare they!" One shouted. "Such affront!" Another cried.

"Yes, Dobby knows," Dobby said with fake sympathy. "Dobby only wears clothes that costs more than Dobby's subjects entire lifetime savings."

"Yes, your Holiness," the crowd murmured.

"To fight the Kreacher-cult," Dobby said, bouncing on his chair, "Dobby's subjects must make sure they do not wear any secondhand clothes. In fact, nobody really knows if they wear firsthand or secondhand clothes - so Dobby's subjects must take care not to wear any clothes!"

A few murmurs in the crowd. Ron silenced it by raising it mighty warhammer and slamming the butt of the shaft into the marble floor, creating a deafening crack. "Do you have complaints, wizards? Or will you see Lord Dobby's… suggestion, implemented?"

"With no complaint, Archbishop," a wizard said hastily.

"Good."

"The only clothes Dobby allows you to wear is the Cowl of Dobby-Church," Dobby proclaimed. "Dobby knows that is not secondhand clothes."

"Thank you, your Holiness! All Hail!"

"Hail!"

The four dimension-travelers burst into laughter the next morning, where the Prophet proclaimed the rise of a new nudist cult that seemed to be affiliated with the Dobby-Church. Now, they and Dobby would go incognito and watch their followers try to find their way without their glorious House-Elf Lord.

World 17

"Isn't it somewhat ironic that Ron, you are playing Harry, and Harry, you are playing Ron?" The interviewer asked with a smile. "Is this a massive conspiracy or just coincidence?"

"We were pretty shocked," Harry, a ginger with blue eyes, grinned wrily. "Imagine us playing each other, you know?"

"Yeah," Ron, a boy with black hair and green eyes, smirked. "I think it's pure coincidence, but if it is, it's one hell of a coincidence. You know?"

"It really is," the interviewer nodded her head. "Well, there you go, folks. Ron and Harry Stark, kindly telling us about the newest movie they are starring in, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."

'Ron' Stark snickered.

World 22

Ruby Eisen was a Muggleborn witch. She'd learned that a little over a month ago. In 2016, when everything seemed to be digitized and have eyes, it was a surprise to learn of hidden enclaves of magical people dotted around the world, completely unknown by normals.

And now, she was being Sorted into one of the four Houses. The Four Houses, founded by Haraldr Stark, Romeo Stark, Katherine Bell, and Fleur Delacour. They each valued different traits in a person, and each wished for their Houses to value that trait as well - but they never explicitly mentioned which trait they valued, making the new students figure that out by themselves.

Ruby's eyes snapped back to McGonagall.

"Adams, James!"

Another Muggleborn student, judging by his surname. The timid-looking boy went to the stool, whereupon the Sorting Hat (was that a multicolored cap? With a propeller on the top?) was placed upon his head; McGonagall, like part of a ritual, spun the propeller with reverence. After about ten seconds of awkward propeller spinning, the Hat took a deep breath, and shouted, "YEET!"

Ruby was confused. James was too. House Yeet, clad in green, cheered like mad. James stumbled into the crowd, no doubt wondering, like Lucy, if he'd just heard what he thought he heard.

"Black, Gemina!"

"LANNISTER!"

Ruby gaped. House Lannister, that was just what the House had announced. The colors were even red and gold. They clapped politely, unlike the boisterous Yeets. A girl with wavy black hair and beautiful, storm-gray eyes stepped down to the red house with aristocratic confidence.

"Diggory, John!"

"REPRESENTATIVES!"

Ruby shook her head. This was ridiculous.

"Eisen, Ruby!"

Ruby sat down on the stool and blushed a little as the propeller cap was placed on her head and the propeller started whirling. Ruby was taken in by the hypnotic sound until she eventually realized she was inside… darkness. A void. She looked around, realizing that strangely she did not feel inclined to panic at all. She looked harder, and spots of light began appearing. Beneath, above, before and behind her. Everywhere. Glowing dust clouds formed nebulae and neutron stars glowed brightly.

It was beautiful. The slightly archaic accent did not break the sense of wonder.

"Welcome, Ruby, daughter of Eleanor. You are inside your own mind."

"Are you the Sorting Hat?"

"I am what resides within, yes. I am… complicated. But my creators were wise men and women, having lived longer lives than any in this world could even comprehend."

"I have a question," Ruby said. "Are the Houses named that, having known that they'd end up being jokes?"

"Many Muggleborn students ask that," the Sorting Hat mused. "And yes. I do believe they did so, 'for the memes'. Though they never told me what 'memes' were."

"Right," Ruby said, feeling a little dazed. How could have four people from one thousand years ago possibly know what memes were? Then again, the Hat did say they had lived longer than anyone in this world could comprehend…

"Now, let's get started with the sorting. You're certainly not shy, plenty of friends… hardworking. This will do you well in the House of Pancakes. The people there are friendly, supportive, hardworking. Representatives would be good too - you will do well among the more academically inclined, using your sharp mind to learn things beyond what others expect. Yeet would also be good - their parties are the wildest. You would even do well in House Lannister - the House of the Golden Lion seems to attract members with cunning and strength. What to do with you?"

Ruby remained silent.

"I think I have a solution," the Hat said quietly. "There are not many who get sorted there, but it happens once in a while. A fifth house, for those with the potential to become truly great. For those who are not content with the world in their grasp; for those with a burning fire that cannot be quenched even by death. For those carrying the heart of a hero, like Neo. For those carrying the will, like John Wick. And for those who will pull others up despite their weights on their own shoulders - like Keanu Reeves."

"Wait, hold up-"

Ruby was snapped out of her trance, just to hear the Hat shout, "KEANU!"

The three other members of House Keanu, seated in a small semicircle table at the back of the hall, cheered loudly enough for the difference in numbers to be made up for. Ruby stumbled to the far side of the hall, sitting in between two senior students who opened a gap for her.

"Hey," one said with a grin. "I'm Allison, the unofficial prefect of this House."

"Hi," Ruby smiled.

After about twenty minutes, all students were sorted; Dumbledore stepped up to the podium and everyone fell silent.

"Welcome, students, to another year of Hogwarts," he said with a smile. "And to those of you who were just sorted, welcome to Hogwarts. Now, I know you are hungry and thirsty, so I will keep it quick. Allow me, however, to give you a message from the Founders."

Ruby's eyes widened. None of the books had mentioned this!

Allison leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Sometimes the year opens with messages. They can be cautionary, like when the Chamber of Secrets was opened, or they can be really specific advice, like how to open a bottle if you don't have a bottle opener."

"Right," Ruby said.

Dumbledore cleared his throat, pulling out a slip of parchment and adjusting his spectacles.

"Go to Del Taco… they got this new thing called Freesh- Fressh A-voca-doo!" Dumbledore put it away. "Thank you!"

Ruby's jaw dropped. She was sure she heard a few other Muggleborn jaws drop around the hall, too, even through all the cheering and applause. This was going to be a wacky school experience.

World 33 (30,000 BCE)

On the great plains of Africa, a few primitive humans watched the four strange humans draw on the ground. The primitive humans, who called themselves Tak, had met the four strange humans twenty summers ago. At first, the Tak had attacked them, thinking them to be invaders from the puny tribe further north, but that was not the case. They were a tribe of their own! Only four of them, no babes, and they carried no spears or axes or cudgels.

But, they were dressed in garments the Tak had never seen. Strange black hairless hides, a woven fabric of some kind but was very blue. They also wore jewelry made of gold, and a similar material to gold except it shone white. They had pretty stones, blue and green and red and white.

But most importantly, the color of their skin was all off.

Three of them had dark skin, like the Tak did. In fact, the green-eyes had skin that was dark as night, as if he'd rubbed the charred wood into his skin. He and the female dark-skin had black hair, like the Tak did. The last dark-skin, though, had red hair, red like wildflowers and like fire.

The last one had skin the color of milk and hair the color of the shining stars. She felt exotic. Unnatural. But also beautiful. And the men couldn't seem to help acting fools with her, and even some of the women! They drooled over her and tried to consort with her, sometimes physically - but she rejected all their advances, and when she was attacked, she demonstrated a knowledge of fighting. She did not fight like the Tak did, with fists and elbows and knees and teeth. No, she was a wrestler. A very good one; she flipped a man twice her girth, pinned him to the ground and dislocated his shoulder in less than three heartbeats.

It had taken an entire two summers for trust to develop between the strangers and the Tak. Then, they had learned, these strange humans could do magic, they were Gods in human flesh. The Tak wanted to worship them, but the strange humans - who could somehow speak their language - disliked being worshipped. They were only humans, even if they were wiser humans than most.

They taught the Tak the secrets of the world. Gold, and the strange white gold they called 'silver', were types of 'metal'. There were many 'metal' hidden in stones deep in the ground, but they could be put on top of a fire until they turned hot and soft, and one could use it to mold it into a shape - a spearhead, for example. Or a 'sword'.

They told tales of 'dragons' and 'goblins'. The Tak were skeptical, but some of the elders had seen Nundu and Phoenix on the great plains before, both of which were divine beasts, so they had no trouble believing in great flying lizards or a race of near-humans who manipulated this 'metal' as easily as breathing.

The Tak had come to trust the wisdom of the Strangers. That was why two summers ago, they followed the Strangers on their great migration. They had walked for about one summer before the Strangers stopped. It was beautiful, but a fairly commonplace savannah; animals milled around the region, and though the Tak were wary of the elephants and the rhinoceros, the Strangers could talk to them as easily as they spoke to the Tak.

They had stopped here because of something called 'ley-lines', and they thought it was the perfect place to do their sorcery.

And today, the four Strangers were drawing around the great tree they now called their home.

Chants and dance. The Tak were invited to dance with them, so they did. Stamping of feet, ululating cries, divine chants. It seemed to go on until the sun went down. But when darkness fell and Tak began questioning their objective, the ground shook.

The earth rose, forming mighty pillars of stone and clay, arching up to form a ring around the tree. Then, above the tree, a transparent material seemingly as hard as stone rose up into a dome; they covered the tree yet didn't cover it. It was transparent like water, but hard as stone!

Some of the Tak promptly left. The elders questioned the Strangers, demanding to know what they did with the several men and women who left. The Strangers patiently explained that the new temple was saturated with magic. Was full of it, and the eyes of the Gods were on them. That was why, anyone who wasn't worthy, would promptly leave.

The remaining seven Tak were worthy and permitted to remain. If they weren't - well, they'd know about it.

The temple had carved drawings in its walls, carvings that were beautifully precise. Images of the 'dragons' and Nundus and phoenixes, of plants that could be used to heal and others that would kill. It had the map of the stars and the map of the local land. It contained pictures on how to do magic. It had more knowledge in this one building than the Tak had ever seen - one no longer had to go to a certain place, taste a certain plant, to gain wisdom.

And thus was created the first place of learning.

The next morning, though, the four strangers had disappeared forever. The Tak searched for them, but they could not find them. They had been called back to the stars.

Unknown

"Alright, boys and girls," Ron grinned. "Interdimensional Apparition. It took us a while to figure out, and that's saying something considering we don't even remember how old we are at this point, but it's ready. Theoretically, we should be able to warp into worlds that we already know as part of fiction, if there are infinite numbers of parallel universes like we think there are."

Harry pulled out a small stone object and tossed it to the side; a finite removed the shrinking charm and allowed the Veil of Death to be restored to its full size.

"For our first interdimensional adventure, where should we go?" Ron said, rubbing his palms together.

"Middle-Earth," Harry and Fleur said immediately.

"You've been corrupted, Fleur."

"It's a masterpiece and you don't have the intelligence to realize that."

"Whatever. I suppose it could be interesting." The four of them linked hands and looked up to the skies.

A small phrase, uttered in a language everything knew yet nothing spoke. The language of existence itself. Anything with the ability to recognize they were existing, knew this language, deep down in their consciousness. The 'Tongue of Trees', Merlin had called it, but Merlin had not seen the things the four of them had seen on their many travels.

They asked the universe, politely, if they could visit another world. The universe agreed. The four of them stepped through the Veil, and the Strangers, and the Veil, disappeared from existence.

Thanks to all who read this story, and I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. I know I had fun writing it. There is now a sequel up, Five Istari and Four Warlocks, which I will be working on first and foremost. This one will give Harry and Fleur more attention, though Ron and Katie are still there.