Well. I honestly never thought I'd ever write this.

For anyone randomly stumbling across this story, it's a sequel, to my story From the Outside, and it's set in Dauntless initiation 1 year before Tris arrives. If you have not yet read that story, I strongly suggest you do as I promise this story will make absolutely no sense to you whatsoever! This part starts with the mental stage of initiation after Avery's year finished physical initiation, and I can only guess that this part will finish at the very end of initiation, or potentially even later, in the run up to the start of Tris' initiation.

As for my From the Outside readers, I can only be eternally grateful and eternally apologetic for your continued reading. As mentioned in my many A.N.s, my life is extremely busy as are most people's and the time I have available to write fluctuates greatly. As it happens, I think I'll have more time to write now than I did in my… 8 month hiatus, but know as good as my intentions are, the world often doesn't let me fulfil them!

Furthermore, just a warning, this story is M-rated, unlike my previous story, and there will be a decent amount of smut (although it's also my first M-rated). In fact, the very first scene is smut so if you're not for that, I will put a warning before every sex scene, and another marking when the sex scene finishes, so if you don't want to read it, you can just skip it. This story will not revolve around sex, despite its feature.

Finally, thank you so much for spending your time here, I hope you'll enjoy this story and love my OC as much as I do. Although, just another warning, some reviewers have complained about Avery (my OC) being quite insensitive and heartless. This is just her character as I wrote it, if you want an honorable main character go find a mary sue fic, which this is definitely not! One of the main themes of this story is exploring a protagonist, that is distinctly not that good of a person. I mean its an EricxOc romance, what normal protagonist would Eric fall for?

Disclaimer; I own nothing but my OC's the world of Divergent belongs to the wonderful Veronica Roth.

-SMUT-

"Shit!"

My back arches uncontrollably and my head rolls back, Eric's lips attached to my neck, his fingers incessant through my underwear.

There have barely been any words since I was carried down the stairs, fumbling through Eric's door as his hands stripped me of my jumper, and our clothing has since been reduced to our underwear as the sheets below me crumple.

I try to get a firm grip on the back of his head, before locking my legs around his hips and rolling us over, reattaching my lips to his. I grind down on his firm erection, the tip peaking out of the top of his boxers, or I might say half out due to the sheer size.

"Off!" It's a grunt from Eric as his fingers push the sides of my bra up, and my lips leave his as I sit up straddling him to take my bra off.

"Mother of God…" I barely have a second to think as I heavily rub my centre against him before he's sat upright, one hand on the small of my back as I lean backwards, and his lips suck around a nipple. I let out a loud moan that turns breathy and fast as Eric's other hand trails sensually down into my underwear, his fingers stroking controllingly.

"Eric!" I cry out as he teases a finger inside of me, before further exploration.

"God, I waited far too long for this…" He mumbles as he releases my left nipple and moves to my right. My hands claw for something to hold onto, something to please, but only grasp through the tendrils of his hair on the back of his neck as my hips take point, rolling in attempt to push his fingers further.

I think about how thick his fingers are as he stretches me, and desire overwhelms me.

"Eric please!" I moan as his lips on my breasts relent for a moment as he smirks.

"Please what, darling?" He drawls, looking up as me from where his lips tease around on my chest.

The sudden spark in my eyes still doesn't give Eric enough time to think as I push him back down onto the bed, my hands either side of his head. We kiss furiously as I reach a hand down to push away his boxers to finally touch his prized possession. His groan lets me leave his lips as I trail down his neck, leaving a quip on his collarbone before focussing on the exquisite muscle of his pecks whilst my hand strokes firmly. After placing a few kisses along his abdomen, I bring myself eye-level with his cock, my breath tickling his tip as my other hand pulls his boxers fully off.

And as I lean forward, lips caressing his prick, my eyes look up to meet his innocently, and that's when I know he snaps.

I'm on my back in an instance, underwear ripped off, his hands pushing firmly on my inner thighs to widen them as his cock finds my entrance. He stills, leaning forward till he's over my lips.

"God you're gorgeous." He murmurs before he thrusts in roughly, his lips devouring me as he does. It's a stretch, and not completely comfortable, but I wouldn't call it painful either.

He stills fully sheathed for a moment and brings a hand up to cup my jaw as our eyes meet momentarily, before it all resumes in a frenzy.

Never could I have imagined the intensity in which he would take me, deep and relentless as I feel the mattress compress beneath me with every thrust. Every noise that comes out of my mouth is completely incoherent as I see stars, a part of me reached that I barely knew existed. There's a knot in me, getting tighter and tighter as I feel myself being wound up further and further.

"Yes, Eric!" I moan wildly, my voice unmistakably higher in pitch as his lips trail to my chest.

"Fucking hell Avery, fuck!" He grunts, his voice guttural and the opposite of mine. "Come on baby, I know you're getting close."

My head nods as I don't trust my words whilst his hips piston through me, the slick pleasure against my walls building and building as a hand moves to the small of my back as my body arches without my instruction, my voice crying out as the string snaps.

If I thought it was the end, I was sorely mistaken, as I hadn't even left the peak of my pleasure when a sudden intense pressure right at my centre burned brighter, and as I blink Eric's pressing his thumb against my clit heavily, and my left leg is pushed right up over his shoulder and his hips move even faster against me.

"God Avery, come on babes you can do it" Eric groans breathily. The same stretching feeling inside rose up again, but so much faster than before as I realise, I'm going to cum a second time.

"Eric!" I cry out as my body goes stiff once more and my eyes squeeze shut as everything goes fuzzy.

"Fuck!" Eric's hips slow as his arms wrap around me and pull my limp body towards him as he releases inside me, and we both slump in pure pleasure and exhaustion against the bed.

-END OF SMUT-

He pulls out and lies down on his back next to me, and as I regain the sense of where I am, I crawl on top of him, leaving light affectionate kisses on his lips as my hands stroke his chest.

"Well worth the wait?" Eric murmurs cockily, his eyebrow raised, and I don't even answer as I smile at him, leaning in to wipe the smirk off his face with a kiss.

"Well at least this confirms why your ego is so big." I murmur softly, my own smile taking over my face as his arms envelop me into a crushing hug.

"Your gorgeous." He murmurs into my ear and I giggle.

"Never would I have thought this would happen, thinking back to the first time I saw you on that rooftop."

"Christ…almost half a year ago."

"With me scuttering around trying not to be noticed…" I say back.

"Your late, initiate. What are you doing, initiate?" Eric mutters into my ear.

"My apologies sir. What are your orders, sir?" I reply, a little grin on my face as his eyes widen slightly on my face, and I'm pinned against the bed in under a second.

"Saying that here will get you into trouble…" Eric grunts, trailing across my shoulder, before he collapses his hold and his arms surround me in a close hold again.

"I'm just happy I get to keep you here from now." He says, his legs wrapping around mine as he yanks the covers out from under us before draping them over us. "And fuck you every night."

"I mean, I know its legal now, but surely we shouldn't just broadcast it to the whole of Dauntless, they're sure to realise it started before now, plus all my friends think I've been hooking up for the last few months." I question softly, expecting him to from in irritation, but he just nuzzles closer.

"No need to worry about it… I'm not telling you what, but with the nature of initiation from now on, not one really questions the whereabouts of initiates, and it's not like we are going to be making out in the middle of the Pit." He tells me. I nod slowly, trying not to let my thoughts wonder about initiation.

"Stop thinking about initiation." Eric says suddenly, and I look up at him innocently.

"I wasn't, I purposely tried not to think about it." I say indifferently, before meeting the grin in his eyes. I hold his gaze for a long moment, just smiling, before I pull the covers back and untangle myself from him. "I'm going to go shower before I fall asleep… want to join me?"

My question is slightly nervous, and he smirks from his position on the bed, just staring at my naked body. He stays silent for a long moment, and I raise my eyebrow at him questioningly, fighting the urge to cover up.

"I don't think I need the invitation." He suddenly says with a smirk, before climbing out of bed in a flash and chasing me into the bathroom.

12321

I wake up to Eric placing butterfly kisses on my face.

"Sorry to wake you, you have to be in initiation rooms by 8." He tells me before placing a healthy kiss on my lips. I look past him to the clock and it's 7:45.

"It's your fault, you make me sleep for too long." I say before rolling him over and straddling him, his hands firm on my waist underneath my t-shirt as I lean down to kiss him. Our kisses grow deeper as my tongue swipes against his lips, and my hips instinctively roll against his boxer-clad hips, before he abruptly pulls away.

"Perhaps I should have included how I have to be at the initiation rooms at 8 as well, and I have to be in a vaguely functioning state, so stop your seduction you minx." Eric tells me with a grin, lifting me up off his hips and climbing out of bed to get changed.

"Here." Eric suddenly throws some clothing at me, and I catch most of it before finding a bra, my jumper from the day before and a pair of black jeans. I change whilst sitting on the bed, vaguely admiring Eric's form as he pulls on some black cargo trousers and a black t-shirt. As he turns to leave he catches me topless and curses before going to the kitchen and I smile. This could not have been more perfect.

12321

I feel like I've awoken from a dream.

As we walk through the corridors of dauntless, everything feels different. Maybe it's the sex. Maybe the surprisingly cuddly Eric? But no, I don't think it's that.

Everything up until yesterday's ranking feels like it's over now. All that training, it was all for that ranking, getting Lily through, and now we start again with renewed purpose. Although I feel as though I'm starting all over again. Like I need to make friends again, like I need to observe every surrounding again, that I need to be on alert.

I guess I do need to think of a way to cover up my absence last night. And come up for an excuse for not seeing Beth off. And an excuse for not caring.

And I guess I need to be alert, since I need to ace this mental stage too.

My mind starts filtering through possible things that could be the mental stage. The clothes Eric gave me really aren't suitable for any kind of combat, so I doubt there will be any physical aspect to it. The word mental makes me think of therapy, so potentially some kind of interview, or verbal test of mental strength, or maybe a situational test, of what you would do in different situations? Whilst that seems the most likely in my mind, they've been so secretive about it I doubt it's something so simple. Not to mention you can lie in a situational test, it doesn't exactly scream intense dauntless initiation test.

Suddenly Eric stops in front of me as we hear the footsteps of multiple other people.

"I'll see you on the other side. Right, right, left." He tells me, before heading left. I walk through the corridors and it isn't long before I'm greeted by a cheer.

"Avery!" Sure enough, Mark and Leon are walking down the corridor towards me as we reach the door to the initiation rooms.

"Congrats on passing first stage guys!" I say with a smile.

"Oh come on, where have you been first-ranked! You missed the celebrations!" Leon grins and I shrug.

"Perhaps I was just thinking ahead and getting a good night's rest before mental stage?" I say, drawing my mind away from the 'good night's rest'.

"Of course, of course, thinking ahead as always. Have you seen the others yet? I think they were a bit rattled by…" Mark trails off.

"Beth… yeah. She… yeah." I don't manage to find any words that aren't insensitive. Too caught up in teenage girl drama, not enough interest in Dauntless. She would've done well in Amity.

As I open the door to the initiation rooms, its just another corridor, with chairs along the walls like a waiting room. Jay, Lily and Ben are all sitting together, looking anxious and slightly downcast.

"Hey guys." I say

"Avery! Where were you last night? When the rankings were revealed?" Ben stands up and puts his hands on my shoulders, and I meet his eyes.

"I went of to get some fresh air to calm myself down… and lost track of time. I missed the reveal." I say gently.

"So have you heard?" Lily asks, her eyes quivering. As we share eye contact, I know she knows I have.

"Yes. Congratulations Lily, I told you you'd make it." I say softly.

"Wait… when did you find out? Did you get to see Beth, she's already left-" Jay says, a crease in his brow. I hadn't even thought about it.

"Eric came and found me to tell me the rankings… by that time everyone had already gone. I just have to hope she knows I'll miss her." I say, fabricating the partial truth. My words hang in the air as one of the three doors at the end of the corridor opens, Four stepping out.

"Jay. Come this way." Four says, and everyone in the room, all the dauntless-born, transfers, anyone who made it passed stage 1, looks to Jay. He stands up and walks steadily towards Four, who takes him inside, closing the door.

As the click of the door sounds, everyone in the room is looking around nervously. At this point, everyone's realised it. No one knows anything about initiation from here on out, and we aren't separated dauntless-born and transfers. It's all on ourselves from now on.

Not a moment later, Eric opens another door, his eyes raking over the corridor full of initiates.

"Charlotte." The tall, chocolate haired girl I remember from paintballing and sniping stands, and follows Eric into the room.

Silence.

Slowly whispers and murmurs fill the room, and I sit down in Jay's vacated seat next to Lily.

"…" I try to think of something to say to her, but the hurt in her eyes is making it difficult for me to think of something.

"I know it's difficult to think about it now, but you should be really proud of yourself, for getting through stage 1. Beth would've been proud too." I say softly, and Lily looks up at me with tearful eyes.

"She said she was. She was proud of me." Lily murmurs, the sadness plain in her voice. "And now she's going to be factionless for the rest of her life. Who knows how long that will be with how dangerous it is out there!" She wails slightly before her head falls against my shoulder, and I put an arm round her, gently stroking her back to calm her.

"It's alright. It will always feel sad, but it's just something we have to accept." I say. "Anyway, we're in mental stage now, and this is where you'll be so much stronger than everyone else. We all know how brave you are, how strong your will is. All will be fine."

She nods lightly against me, and I don't speak anymore. After around half an hour, the room is almost half empty, and when Eric opens the door, it's Lily's name he calls. She looks to me worriedly, and I just smile, giving her shoulder a rub.

"You'll be great, he can't hurt you." I say, and she stands and walks away. Just before he closes the door, Eric meets my eye, and I feel like only I could see the twinkle in it.

More and more people follow, and I realise no one is gone for the same amount of time. Not a timed test then… potentially time dependant, or we could be ranked on our times like a race. Furthermore, there seems to be no pattern in who gets called next. Nothing to do with gender, rank, previous faction… I'm at a loss.

Then, when only me and Raven are left, Four pokes his head round the door and meets my eyes.

"Avery." I stand and follow after him, waiting for my curiosity to be satisfied.

The room is on the bare side, with plain grey walls and floors, although lighter than the rest of the compound. Artificial light falls upon the main thing occupying the room, a reclined chair, with a machine next to it, syringes and needles beside it.

A simulation.

Something within me jumps, as if it were putting me into fight or flight mode, and I'm suddenly extremely alert.

Be Dauntless.

The words ring through my head as Four motions for me to sit on the chair.

"Right. Well, I'm sure you recognise this machine, and in the mental stage of initiation we will use serums to stimulate simulations, to teach you to control your emotions in a frightening situation, in order for you to be Dauntless."

I nod firmly, but I feeling far from confident as thoughts fly through my head. A frightening situation, imminent death, a friend about to die, family, pain, that kind of thing. That's fine, I can deal with that, you just calmly work your way through the simulation until you're safe.

I'll be fine, I just have to pretend to be dauntless.

To be Dauntless.

"Alright then." I say, letting a deep exhale through my lips. Four gives me a reassuring look as he pushes my hair to the side.

"I'll be watching the whole time. The simulation will continue until you are no longer frightened." Four tells me, as the needle is poised against my neck.

"Be brave, Avery." Four says, and that's the last I hear before my vision goes black.

12321

Everything is black. There's no light. I can't see anything. I can't see myself.

I'm falling.

The feeling of my stomach hurling upwards tells me that.

But there's no wind. There's nothing I'm falling into.

Falling where.

Falling from where, and to where.

I try to feel myself, but I can't move my arms or legs. They are moving, but I cannot move them.

But I'm tumbling, tumbling downwards. I feel nothing, there is nothing, other than myself.

My heart is in my throat, its beating faster than anything I could ever have imagined, its unnatural.

This whole thing is unnatural, how is this happening, how is this possible?

This is a simulation.

Four, four injected the serum, it created this simulation in my mind.

It's a frightening situation.

Well he got that part right.

He said the simulation will end when I am no longer frightened.

Am I frightened? Yes.

How do I become not frightened?

I get to safety.

How do I get to safety?

I need something. Anything. Anything that exists in this bizarre world, other than me, and then I can get to safety.

There're no walls. This isn't a well, or a shoot.

There's no noise.

I try speaking, but nothing reaches my ears but my own thoughts and observations.

There's no feeling of resistance against me… there's no wind… hang on… is there no air at all? Am I in a vacuum?

No, because I'm breathing.

Then, where am I?

I have no answers for my own questions.

This isn't going terribly well. I wonder how much time has past.

My breathing rate and heart rate is still through the roof. If I calmed them down, that would count as being calm, being not frightened. Surely?

But I have no control of my body. This heightened sense of panic is brought on by my high heart rate and breathing rate, but I have no way of altering them.

So, what do I have?

Nothing material, that's for sure.

No control over anything involving matter.

Only my mind then.

How can I convince myself I'm not frightened then?

I'm falling.

If I'm falling, I must be falling towards the ground. If I'm travelling at speed, which I should be since I've been falling for more than enough time to reach terminal velocity, then I will hit the ground and die.

At least I can't be frightened if I'm dead.

I'm falling… to the ground.

I'm falling… to the ground.

I'm falling…

As per usual, the chapter never ends with an ending. To be quite honest, this chapter doesn't go into great depth in terms of Avery's character, so if your feeling lost, perhaps go and read the last few chapters of From the Outside to jog your memory? Anyway, I've introduced something I think is quite unique to Avery's mental stage, something we won't have seen from her in From the Outside, and it will cause questions from her, from Eric, from her friends and from Dauntless about a whole new ballgame of things. I mean usually my AN's are fairly thorough, but I already spoke quite a lot at the beginning, so for now, that you so so much for reading, hope you enjoyed it and please review!