Author's note: The attention this little story has gotten is quite surprising to me. Thank you for the views, comments, favs and so on…

I wrote this in a short sitting, hopefully not a whole lot of errors or grammatical mistakes. Please enjoy. But if you find errors or have any suggestions, et cetera, drop a comment or shoot me a PM.

And if you like my writing style, please check out some of my other works!

Thank you, lots of love

-VV

The Karl Franz Appreciation Society and other tales

-Strange trades with the Rat-men-

In Altdorf it was known that some undesirables attempted to infiltrate and make their dark designs manifest: agents of chaos, spies, Border Prince diplomats, as well as unscrupulous merchants, and schemers of all stripes, creeds, or races.

It was one of largest cities in the Old World, certainly the largest in the empire.

And so it was understandable that the capital would attract these and others to its gates.

Adolf von Harrow was a merchant. Though his noble name 'von Harrow' might lead one to assume he was of good breeding and upstanding character, the reality was he was one of the most unscrupulous and underhanded merchants which called Altdorf his home…

He'd lie to his competition, he'd use legal suits to stifle threats to his operations, and he'd utilise subterfuge to dismantle companies attempting to start up in 'his' section of the city.

Close to the industrial quarter, where the runoff from the various smithies, tanners, and weavers would be dumped into the river, he had set up his main base of operations.

He worked out of a decrepit public-house and made no effort to revitalise the area or even his own properties.

He liked it filthy, and he liked saving his coin.

Having such a negative reputation amongst fellow traders wasn't beneficial to making his legitimate business thrive. But he didn't care.

Adolf von Harrow was also into contraband, illegal items, and he ran and owned one of, if not the, largest smuggling operation in the capital.

The secret to his success was his alliance with the skaven of the Altdorf sewers.

…

Raising his wearied head away from his account book Adolf heard a strange scurry down the wooden hallway of the second floor of his pub.

His pistol-armed guard narrowed his brow and eyed the office door suspiciously.

Scratching feet began getting louder and closer to the door.

Adolf relaxed and nodded, "I know who it is Gunther, open it."

Warily the guard reached forwards and drew open the dirty wooden door.

In the dark of the hall a hunched bipedal creature stood to the side of the wide hall. It was covered by thick robes and a hood which drooped over its' head.

The creature was almost the size of a man but the way it stood, its breathing, its body language; it was plain to anyone that it was definitely not human.

"Is that you pip-squeak?" Adolf called.

Turning its neck so as to look up at the two humans the snout and whiskers of a skaven came into view.

His voice was gravelly and his eyes turned wildly from man to man as he approached the office.

Nodding violently he finally found his voice and gestured towards himself.

"Yes-yes, is I."

He titled his head in confusion, "Though that is not my name-me? You know who I am-is, why do you lie like this-this?"

Adolf shook his head and smirked.

Dealing with the skaven was almost unthinkable at first. But economic demands have a funny way of making the oddest of bedfellows.

"It's fine Gunther, it's our…" Adolf chuckled, "our 'man' on the inside."

The skaven nodded to the guard and brought a paw out as he bowed diplomatically.

"We are Black-Tail, sneakiest of the sneaky…"

Slowly the skaven reached his hand towards his belt and drew out an envelope.

The guard watched the skaven uneasily but saw that the creature was unarmed.

"We bare-have no kill-tools."

Offering a grin the guard cringed at the sight of Black-Tail's many sharp, yellowed, and jagged teeth.

Bowing again Black-Tail continued, "Only trade-bargain! Business-business as was agreed with the man-creatures."

Once he felt comfortable the cloaked skaven slipped past the pistoled guard and scampered towards Adolf's desk, his letter outstretched.

"What's this?" Adolf asked.

"From one of–" he shook his head and mentally scolded himself, "No-no. I naught say, you read you give me message, then was see about new treaty-bargain?"

Adolf furrowed his brow and received the letter suspiciously.

Opening the paw-print covered parchment he did his best to decipher the scrawled characters along the lines of the page.

It looked like the script written by a child just learning to write, letters bled into one another, ink seeped through in some places because the pen was held too long, some letters were larger than others. But despite this Adolf eventually read the message.

"So this, 'under-Emperor'… he's requesting what exactly? I see here that he's…"

"Flip-turn over!" Black-Tail announced. "Other side has message-words too."

Adolf looked back down and flipped the page.

He chuckled in disbelief.

But as he read along he eventually began shaking his head, "No way… that's not happening!"

Black-Tail twitched nervously and began ruffling around in his cloak.

"K-Karl, Under Emperor said you'd say-speak that!"

Eventually he pulled out a small pouch and reverently brought the leather bag forwards.

"Might-might change your mind? About treaty-bargain?"

Adolf looked at his guard and then Black-Tail as the skaven dropped the pouch lightly to the cluttered desk.

"O-open!" he encouraged as he stepped back.

Nervously running his paws over his snout Black-Tail laughed and began eyeing the guard.

Leaning towards the pouch Adolf put the letter aside and began opening the small leather bag.

As soon as the warm light of the room's candles entered the bag it glittered and sparkled.

Adolf's eyes widened and he looked up.

Black-Tail smiled his toothy grin and nodded furiously.

Pouring the bag out Adolf chuckled in disbelief at the contents: diamonds.

"B-by Sigmar's cock!"

Adolf stared with his mouth open.

"Th-that's… w-what on earth?"

Black-Tail pulled out another piece of parchment and began unfolding it.

Clearing his throat he began to read, as best he could.

"We re-require as a new-new treaty-trade-deal the following items, but as part of new-new treaty we offer more-many runners and smuggle-hiders to help-work on our old deal-pact."

He sneezed and continued, "Old deal-pact was good, but new treaty-bargain is better! Signed Karl, and every member of Kafans!"

Adolf furrowed his brow in dumbfounded confusion.

"K-kafans?"

Black-Tail nodded and opened his mouth but immediately stopped himself.

"No-no, is secret! Not for man-creatures!"

Shaking his head Adolf held out his hand for the second letter.

"Yes-yes, here these are our demand-requests! That we want-need."

Looking over the strange bullet point list Adolf's confusion and perplexment grew,

"Shiny white-stone picture-rock of Emperor Karl Franz… clothes made by Emperor's clothes-maker… picture-painting of Emperor and Emperor-mate and child-babes…"

The list continued with other strange requests like, 'sweet-salt' which the skaven erroneously called sugar. Another was 'empty writing box' which when Adolf asked for clarification Black-Tail described what could only be a book.

…

By offering an increase in capital, and offering more manpower in Adolf's underground smuggling the skaven had bought themselves all the items and resources necessary for expanding the grandeur of the 'Karl Franz man-emperor appreciation society'.

They now began baking confectionary…

Of course Skaven baking would probably kill a human being, but the addition of sugar and practise allowed the cooks working for Karl the Skaven to begin making small cookies and strange little flat-cakes.

The purchase of tea also changed the environment of the meetings… The small meeting place that Karl originally held their first meeting in had to be expanded.

In fact all the tunnels leading to it had to be expanded as well to accommodate the massive marble statue that the skaven had purchased of their patron.

They used timber framing and began developing a strange level of competency and dedication. The skaven which made up the 'Kafans' cult began emulating the professionalism and seriousness of the people above the city they called home.

The new meeting hall that the skaven excavated became furnished with ripped and stolen carpeting; gilded candelabras now lit their previously gloomy and dark halls.

And above in the city of Altdorf the richer quarters and residences of the noble and merchant classes were being burgled in the night.

A wave of strange crime had begun in the imperial capital; tapestries, paintings of imperial scenes, candelabras, cutlery, porcelain serving-wear, and even nicely made clothing began to disappear.

The city guard were baffled by the ease with which the thieves were making off with their sometimes absurdly large and strange heists… What was not stolen also became a subject of great mystery and interest.

For example some thieves broke into one of the glassworks of Altdorf and stole an incomplete stained glass picture of the emperor and Deathclaw yet the glasswork's small vault of gold and silver ingots and coin was left unmolested.

The captain of the city guard had every gate locked one evening and the whole city watch on patrol as a city-wide curfew was enforced and yet a home was still robbed!

What was taken you may wonder?

A marble bust of Karl Franz's father, the previous emperor Luitpold.

Beside the bust were books worth tens of thousands in coin for their arcane knowledge and yet the library was untouched…

The bust was found the next morning at the bottom of a fountain by some children fishing for coins.

…

Below the stone roads of the city, within the damp and dark tunnels the members of the Karl Franz appreciation society were meeting.

At the head of his 'club' Karl the Skaven hushed his rowdy and excited fellow skaven,

"Quiet-hush! Today we show-show very-most-special thing!"

The skaven began quieting as they stared in awe at their leader.

Beside Karl Black-Tail appeared with something wide under his arm. It was covered by a dark cloth sheet and he and Karl began un-wrapping it carefully.

Holding the object above his head Black-Tail began showing the skaven congregation a painting.

It was a cherub styled painting of a babe in the arms of a woman.

At first the skaven mumbled and whispered in confusion.

Then Karl cleared his throat and began pointing, "This-this is first official-real painting of the Empress and the new royal babe-child!"

The crowd began howling in excitement and adoration; they pushed past one another to get closer to Black-Tail to see the features of the small painting.

The Empress was depicted simply; she had few imperial adornments and was in a somewhat casual and intimate dress. While her child, the focus of the painting, was framed like an almost religious or divine figure. Wrapped in a simple white cloth the pale and rosy flesh of the newborn looked like it was polished marble, the cheeks were bright pink and the nose was red. Everything about the child was angelic and displayed the mastery of the artists' brush hand.

The skaven began 'oo-ing' and 'ah-ing' as they looked it over.

The painting had been commissioned by Karl Franz himself, though the skaven didn't know. They merely received information from their smuggling ring that a painting of the Empress and Child was recently completed and on its way to the imperial palace from the docks.

Slipping aboard each ship that docked along the river Black-Tail's agents and 'sneaky-sneakers' scoured the holds and inventories of the barges and small craft laden with treasure, until finally one of them found what Black-Tail had been tipped off about.

'A most-perfect beauty painting of our beloved lady empress and the new prince-princess'

With the painting in their possession they scampered back to their sewers and called a grand meeting to unveil it to all their faithful 'Kafans'.

…