Lately, I've been thinking, I want you to be happier

The Reverend Mother had given Maria a lot to think about, so she had returned to seclusion to pray and ponder over their conversation. Mother Superior had asked her outright if she was in love with the Captain and it had quite literally caused Maria to fly out of her seat. She was so confused. She had never felt this way before, but was it love?

Maria looked up to the Heavens, as if pleading with God to tell her what to do. Since returning to the Abbey, she had been able to think about nothing but the Captain and his children. She thought about their fight on the terrace, she thought about the evening in the parlour when the Captain had sung for them, she thought about their dance… but mostly she had thought about the way she felt around the Captain, the way he made her feel.

He only had to enter a room and it was as if her whole world would stop. Her belly would fill with proverbial butterflies and her cheeks would flush with the brightest colour. In his arms she had felt safe, and cared for, important and special. He was surely the most charming, witty, passionate, and handsome man she had ever met and could ever hope to meet. She adored the way he cared for his children and respected the loyalty he had for his country. And at night, oh at night, her dreams would be plagued by imaginary moments in which they would walk through meadows, and care for his children, and kiss under the stars.

Without realizing it, Maria was now hugging herself tightly, sorely attempting to bring herself some kind of comfort. She began to grow warmer as she allowed herself to imagine that it was the Captain's arms around her instead of her own. That he was here, holding her, caressing her, lov-

'Oh my God' she thought suddenly, 'I am in love with him'

And so with newfound purpose, Maria had set out to return to 53 Aigen.

-X-

Standing at her bedroom window, Maria watched sadly as the sun began to set over the villa grounds. She had returned from the Abbey just an hour earlier because she had been miserable without them, without him. But now as she pictured the Captain's shocked expression and the Baroness's possessive hold of his arm, she realized that perhaps she had only been thinking of her own happiness and not of the Captain's. Surely, she hadn't even considered the Baroness… who was now his fiancé.

With a heavy sigh, Maria plopped down on her governess' bed and tried her best to hold her tears at bay.

"You are back to stay?" he had asked her. She half expected him to ask her to leave right then and there. He seemed so astonished that she had returned. It was as if he had already forgotten all about her and moved on with his life. Well, clearly he had. He had gotten engaged to the perfect women while she had been at the Abbey in constant turmoil.

She had replied solemnly, "Only until arrangements can be made for another governess". But now, as she willed herself to change for dinner, she considered that maybe she shouldn't even wait that long. Maybe the Captain and Baroness would both prefer if she just left in the morning, after she said a proper goodbye to the children this time.

A soft knock at her door brought her out her own head. "Come in" she called out.

"Fraulein Maria, it's almost time for dinner!" Marta's sweet voice said as she maneuvered herself into her governess' arms. "We don't want to be late. Not tonight. Father's in a really sour mood" the little girl explained.

Maria felt her heart sink at Marta's words. Of course the Captain had been unhappy this afternoon, she should never have come back here she thought grimly. Mustering up a brave face she gave Marta a tight hug before setting the little girl back on her feet. "Alright then, I guess we better get going" she said as she moved towards the door.

"Wait!"

"What is it Marta?" Maria turned around, her face full of concern.

Marta's cheeks turned a pretty pink before she whispered, "you can't where that dress Fraulein. Father doesn't like it" she gestured towards the ugly grey dress that Maria had for some reason changed into.

Maria looked down at herself, and decidedly agreed with Marta. She had already upset the Captain by returning to his home uninvited, there was no need to further irritate him. "Oh. Well, I suppose I can change into another" she said hesitantly as she opened her armoire. Her fingers skimmed over a couple of the dresses she had made until they landed on the light blue dress she had worn for the children's puppet show.

"The Captain couldn't take his eyes off you" the Baroness' words rang through her mind and without giving much thought as to why, she decided that this was the dress she wanted to wear tonight.

Moments later Maria and her young charge appeared in the dining room and to her great relief they had arrived before the Captain and Baroness. Max, who was already seated next to Kurt greeted her warmly, "Ah Fraulein Maria! A little birdie told me you had returned. Perhaps this time my company at dinner won't have you running for the hills" he teased.

But Maria only blushed in memory of the night she had returned to the Abbey. The night she had danced with the Captain and he had made her feel like the only girl in the world. "Oh, um, apologies Herr Detweiler" she murmured before greeting the children.

By the time she took her seat at the end of the table, the Baroness had sauntered into the dining room on the arm of the Captain. She was wearing a glittering red evening gown while the Captain looked devilishly handsome in a dark suit. Oh help! Maria sent up a quick prayer, hoping to be able to get through this meal without letting her newfound feelings for the Captain show.

After grace was said, Maria did her best to keep her head down, only speaking when the children directly asked her something. But this did not go without notice.

"Fraulein Maria?" Louisa asked from a few chairs down. "Are you feeling okay?"

Before Maria could answer, she heard the Captain let out a low sigh and place his cutlery on the table. It reminded her so much of her first night with the family. She had irritated the Captain that night, first with her instance to thank the Lord, and then with her chatter. Now here she was yet again the source of his frustration.

"Oh yes Louisa, please don't worry about me" she murmured her response, before one again lowering her gaze.

If she had dared to look up, she would have seen the Baroness roll her eyes and place a hand possessively on the Captain's arm.

Georg nearly jumped at the contact. In fact he had almost forgotten about Elsa altogether. How could he, when he was so preoccupied with the woman across from him, who was doing everything in her power to avoid his gaze? 'She looks miserable' he thought to himself as he pushed the food around his plate. 'But oh so beautiful" he added silently. God, he loved that dress.

He couldn't believe she had actually come back, he had been sure she no longer wanted anything to do with him or his family. Not after the way he behaved at the party. But she had returned, and now her presence was a constant reminder of the obvious. He had scared her away, and in his own misery he had gone and committed himself to another woman. Hearing Louisa ask her if she was alright nearly broke the dam inside him that he was barely holding together in the first place. He was wracked with guilt, and embarrassment, and frustration, and hurt. Daring to sneak another glance at Maria, he reasoned that she looked as miserable as he felt.

Dinner ended soon after and the children rather unusually requested that they turn in early. Maria all-but ran out of the dining room, murmuring something about tucking the children in and turning in herself.

He was so focused on her as is eyes followed her and her beautiful blue dress out of the room that he almost missed Elsa purring in his ear.

"Well that certainly worked out well for us darling. Perhaps tonight you and I could… turn in early as well" she said suggestively, running a solitary finger up and down his forearm.

Georg resisted the urge to cringe. He and Elsa had yet to become intimate despite courting for over a year. He knew that she had wanted to take their relationship to the next level for a while now, but the timing had never felt right. He decided not to think about why the idea of sharing a bed with his fiancé caused not desire or excitement to course through his body, but dread and even mild disgust.

Carefully, Georg plastered a smile on his face and stood up from the table. "I'm sorry Elsa, I have some work I need to get to" he fibbed.

"Oh come now Georg, I know you're an honourable man, but we've both been married before. There's no need for you to protect my reputation, I'm certainly no longer virginal darling" she said in her best seductive voice.

At the word 'virginal' Georg's head snapped up, and his eyes involuntarily darted to the stairs Maria had just ascended.

Unfortunately for him, Elsa did not miss her fiancé's brief flicker, and her own gaze turned from seductive to icy. "On second thought darling, maybe it's best you get to your work. I think I have some of my own tasks to see to".

If he had not been terribly distracted by the sudden image of Maria dressed in virginal white lingerie sprawled out in his bed, he might have been able to sense the tone of mischief in Elsa's voice. Instead he simply nodded and stalked off to his office.