A/N: Okay, I bring you guys a special message with this new message. Yes, I have two AU fics that are in-progress. KH3 has shattered my heart into pieces, and this fanfic has been my only way of coping with the pain the game has caused me. I will complete my other fics, but this one is getting prioritized for personal reasons. I hope you guys all understand.

A/N 2: HUGE THANKS to KeybladeMaster18 for helping me write this fanfic. Even though I'm the primary writer, it's been a collaborative effort between the both of us!

This fanfic is dedicated to all Kairi fans. Hope you guys enjoy!

UPDATE 2/24/20: For those who have been keeping up with my fic, I have since gone through Chapters 1-37 and made tweaks and changes as necessary to keep up with ReMind and Limit Cut's canon. Thankfully, the majority of the fic is the same except for some dialogue tweaks here and there as well as a brand new scene with the Wayfinder trio in Chapter 13.

One year following Xehanort's defeat, Kairi awakens from her year-long slumber without answers and guilt-ridden over Sora's sacrifice for her. Finding a piece of her shattered lucky charm, Kairi believes she's discovered a way to bring Sora back. Together with Xion and Namine, a new Keyblade wielder, the three journey to various worlds in search of the missing pieces all while Kairi faces her toughest enemy, herself. [Post-KH3, SoKai]

Chapter 1: Feels Like Forever

It's been a year since you left us in the world. I can't believe that's how long it's been. To be honest, it feels like it's been longer. Even being in a deep sleep for that whole year, it felt like more than a year. The days drag without you. It's like there's an empty piece in the heart that is shared between you, me, and Riku. I look at Riku and he seems to be carrying on just fine, but deep down, I know he's hurting as much as I am. Would it be considered bragging if I argued that I was hurting more than he was?

Kairi set down her notebook on the golden white sand of the beach on Destiny Islands and brought her knees to her chest. The wind continued to blow right through her red hair, although it didn't feel as crisp and fresh like it was only months prior. The sky that was once a vibrant blue now look subdued to her. The white fluffy clouds were now grey with no substance to them. Even the ocean wasn't active like it once was. The waves that had once crashed along the shore were now almost nonexistent. It had almost seemed like once he had left her life, all of Destiny Islands felt lifeless.

People tell me to move on. People tell me that everyone comes and goes, it's a natural part of life. People tell me that what you did was not in vain and that you are a true hero to be remembered by many. Does ice on a cut ever heal though? Or does it only temporarily reduce the pain? People tell me it wasn't my fault. Then why am I still here? Why am I not in a world of everlasting light and peace? Why are you there? Why are you not here? It's because of me.

Kairi shut her eyes as she thought back to her final moments together with Sora. She remembered the rushing emotions of happiness and relief when he first saved her. What she'd give to be back in his arms again, just enjoying his presence, even if it was just for a moment. She thought back to when Sora took her to Disney Castle and Twilight Town, keeping a promise he had made that they'd finally travel the worlds together. Yet, the entire time, Kairi had no idea what would happen to Sora that fateful day on Destiny Islands.

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Within a literal flash, Sora and Kairi suddenly found themselves standing in cold water that went up their calves. The sounds of waves crashing, seagulls cawing, the sunset skies, the wind blowing through palm trees, they had finally made it home to Destiny Islands. They had only just been there to spend their last night before the final battle against Xehanort, but now it was real. Kairi looked up at Sora, her eyes filled with relief, gratitude, and passion. She noticed something different about his expression and behavior though. It was like he was happy to be home, but there was another layer of him that was depressed.

Kairi could see out of the corner of her eye, all of their friends that they had met on their journey were ecstatic to see them both home safely, but Sora simply looked back at her, returning her gaze. Considering how much he valued his friends, Kairi was surprised he wasn't reacting to his friends. It was almost like he was ignoring them, and the only person he wanted to be with right now was her. He gave her a typical reassuring smile and nodded before taking her by the hand and leading her away from the group of friends and towards a most precious spot on the island, the paopu tree, the tree where they last sat together in peace, the tree where they exchanged a promise to keep each other safe, the tree where they would spend their last moments together.

Looking out towards the sunset, Kairi never felt so relieved to have Sora home and by her side. She half expected Sora to feel the same. Instead, Kairi felt a tear roll down his face and land on her hand. It started to feel like there was nothing holding it for a brief second. She looked over and a saw little specks of light started floating from Sora's body. Her stomach dropped as the saddened expression that Sora shared with her was enough to confirm her worst nightmare was about to come true. Sora did come for her, and he did bring her home, but it wasn't what she thought it was.

"No…" She muttered, shaking her head.

Sora sighed, trying to be strong for her. "Kairi, I have to go." He grunted, as if he could feel his energy draining.

"No…"

"I'm brought you home, and now, you're safe."

Kairi shook her head, tears forming in her eyes. "I can't stay home, not without you."

"You have to." Sora shut his eyes and placed a hand over his chest. Kairi could feel the same hurt in his heart. "My journey began the day I lost you. That was when I realized that my world isn't complete without you." He smiled as tears fell down his face. "You give me hope, confidence, strength, and you never once doubted me. You are the light that pulls me out of the darkness, and now it's my turn to be your light."

"Sora, please…" Kairi held her head low and began sobbing. "I won't let you go!"

Sora tilted her face up, wiping the tears away from her face and smiling warmly at her. "Promise me you'll keep laughing and smiling. I'll always be in the wind that blows through your hair, the mist that tickles your face from the ocean, and in smiles and laughs that we'll share together. As long as you keep me alive in your heart and your memories." He leaned forward and kissed Kairi on the forehead before looking away from her.

It was here that Sora and Kairi experienced their most silent moment. They were about to lose each other, for good. This would be their final moment together. Sora sat still on the tree, his body slowly losing feeling, crying. Kairi attempted to dry her own tears. How did she end up living in a kingdom of thieves? How could she end up in a life where everything was taken from her? He tightened his grip around her hand, desperate to feel her one last time as the two passionately locked their matching eyes. Instead of feeling overwhelmed with sadness, Kairi could only smile, a tear rolling down her cheek.

Sora shut his eyes and smiled, as if her words touched his heart in a way they never once had. "I'll come back to you, I promise."

Not being able to get another word out, Kairi continued to watch Sora up until he was nothing more than many specks of light floating away into the sky. She looked up and watched her beloved float away. She remembered back to the first time she witnessed this after Sora had sacrificed himself to free her heart. The sudden feeling of emptiness flowed through her body as she lost all feeling in her now whole body and collapsed onto the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. How could she live with herself knowing he did this for her?

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"Kairi!"

Kairi snapped out of her flash back and looked over to where the voice was coming from. She saw Riku walking towards her, his hands shoved in the pockets of his pants that stopped halfway down his calves. He held a serious expression on his face as he came over and sat next to her.

"What're you up to, Riku?" Kairi finally asked.

"That's what I've come to ask you."

"Just...saying hi to someone we know."

Riku sighed. "You still think about him?"

"Of course I do. Don't you?"

"I do." He leaned back and looked into the sky. "All the time. One day your best friend is by your side fighting for world peace and the next minute he's gone without a trace. The old saying, 'life is too short' doesn't play around."

"I wish I knew. I feel like I could've prevented this from happening." She said crossing her arms and looked towards the ground.

"Nobody saw this coming. Besides, you sacrificed yourself for him." Riku sat a hand on Kairi's back. "Don't ever look down on yourself for that, okay? Somebody had to be Xehanort's thirteenth key. If you hadn't offered yourself, we would've lost Sora much earlier than we did. If Xehanort was able to get as close as he was to using Sora as one of his thirteen before, he probably could've done it again. Sora's strong, but he's vulnerable, especially when it comes to his friends." He shut his eyes as his arm wrapped all the way around her. "You never told us what really happened. You were so vague when we asked."

Kairi's stomach twisted as the memory of her encounter with Xemnas in The Keyblade Graveyard flashed through her mind. "It was so quick, and I just...I felt so weak in that one moment. Before I knew it, Xemnas was dragging me into what appeared to be this dark abyss." She ran her hand up and down her arm as her breathing became heavy. "Then, I saw him. He wanted Sora for his final vessel."

"So you…"

"I had to! I couldn't just sit there and let Sora become a vessel! At least by offering myself, Sora would still have a chance at stopping him and saving everyone. Xehanort shattered my heart into fragments. I knew I was in an endless darkness, but it didn't feel cold. I felt...warmth. It was like, I could still feel Sora. So, with whatever I had left of my heart, I continued to believe in him, that we'd be together again."

Riku chuckled. "Some things never change. You and Sora always swore you'd do anything for each other."

Kairi shook her head. "I never would've imagined that it would turn out like this...especially after he did save me and we defeated Xehanort together. Why didn't Sora say anything? That whole time after we returned to the real world, I never knew. We just...cherished that time...almost like life was back to normal."

"I think you just answered your own question." Riku noted.

"I just feel so worthless. At least you were able to move on like everyone else. I just keep getting stuck in the past."

"You're not worthless. As far as moving on goes, some of us just choose to leave the past behind and move on because it's the easiest way to relieve the pain." He said as he scowled down at the ground. "People like myself."

"Riku…"

Riku sighed and shook his head. "Just...forget I said anything." He looked over and eyed the notebook Kairi was writing in. "You still writing the letters?"

"Yeah...if there's one thing I learned when I was training with Axel and Merlin, it's that I like talking to Sora on paper." She clutched the notebook close to her body. "It's almost like he's here...even though he's not. Besides, my letter once led Sora home before. Maybe this time, it'll be the same."

A little tune started playing out of nowhere. "Oh!" Riku looked into his pants pocket and pulled out his vibrating Gummiphone. "I wonder who's calling." He tapped the green answer button on the screen and saw a blonde-haired girl's face appear on it. "N-Namine?"

Namine smiled on the other line. "Hello, Riku."

Kairi sighed and shook her head, taking a hint. "Well, I think this is my cue to leave you two alone."

"Wait! Kairi's with you? Let me talk to her!"

"Sure thing." Riku handed the phone to Kairi. "She wants to talk to you."

"Hey Namine." She greeted with a wave.

Namine giggled and waved back. "How are you doing? I know we haven't really been keeping in touch that much in the past year, but how are you holding up?"

"I'm okay."

"Good. I miss everyone. I keep telling Riku to bring me to the island."

Kairi smiled. "Well, you're welcome here anytime. Especially whenever you wanna see Riku." She said with a wink, causing Namine to blush. "Here, I'll hand the phone back to Riku so you two can chat. He can use the cheering up."

"Is Riku not okay? He seems okay with me when we talk." Namine asked, her voice filled with concern.

"He always says he's fine, but deep down, I think he's just as torn up as I am. Sora was like a brother to him." Kairi turned the phone so Namine could see Riku standing at the edge of the ocean looking out towards the horizon. "He's been doing that a lot lately, ever since we got home from Radiant Garden."

Namine sighed. "Maybe I should come visit the islands. Maybe that'll brighten Riku's spirits a little bit."

"Maybe. We've been home for a couple weeks now. After I woke up, Riku and I went to Master Yen Sid without any clues or answers to where Sora might be and he suggested we take a period of rest, especially Riku since he's been searching for Sora for a whole year. Terra, Aqua, and Ven are still in the Realm of Darkness."

"Ansem and Ienzo didn't find anything in your heart?" Namine asked as twirled some of her hair.

Kairi shook her head. "The closest thing I have to a clue is that I kept dreaming about the world of sky and sea, but what good does that do?"

"And I didn't find anything in Roxas and Xion's memories either. But, we can't give up. Sora would never give up on us."

"Yeah. Riku's trying to strategize what the next step is." Kairi watched as Riku turned and began walking back towards her. "He's coming back. I'll let you two talk alone."

"As long as you're okay."

"I'll be fine." She said before handing the phone back to Riku.

Riku held the phone in his hand and began to pace along the beach talking to Namine. Kairi couldn't help but smile at how his mood seemed to lift whenever he and Namine talked on the phone. She never thought Namine would be interested in Riku since she always thought Roxas was the one she was close with. At the end of the day, as long as they both were happy, Kairi was happy for them, especially seeing Namine happy in her new life as her own person only brought her more relief that she wasn't scared or alone. She picked up her notebook and continued writing in it.

They seem so awkward when they talk to each other, but it's cute. It reminds me of how you and I would act around each other, especially if Riku teased either one of us about the other. How times have changed, though. You never changed a bit. We both grew up, but you still retained your same cheerful self, and just as I thought, there was nobody your smile couldn't reach. Even when you're not here, I still think about it, because it's the only part of you that can reach me now.

"Oh!" Kairi stood up and jogged forward when she noticed a thalassa shell floating in the water along the shoreline. She knelt down and picked up the shell, wiping whatever sand lingered on it. "Looks like another one washed up today. In the same spot too." She looked up and smiled out towards the sun setting horizon that glowed warm colors of orange and yellow. "It's almost like we're meeting at the same exact spot each day."

Clutching the shell into her hand, Kairi turned and began walking towards the large tree, where the opening to hers and Sora's secret place awaited her. She ducked into the dark tunnel that led her into a decent sized musty cave that was decorated with various scribbles that were obviously done by small children. Kairi's eyes caught sight of the opening at the top that emitted a bright ray of sunlight. She smiled, inhaling the cave's earthy scent that always reminded her of his natural scent that would tickle her senses anytime she was close to him.

Kairi looked over to the corner and walked over to the special drawing they had done when they were children. The drawing had definitely changed over the years. It had gone from just being a simple drawing of each other to suddenly becoming physical proof of the oath they had taken on the day they shared the paopu fruit, the day before everything changed for them. No longer could Kairi ever look at this drawing the same. No longer could she think about that day without the weight of guilt resting on her shoulders. To Kairi, this drawing no longer represented a bond. It was physical proof of a broken promise, a promise that she couldn't keep herself and yet, Sora was able to do so.

"Here's another shell." Kairi said as she set the shell in front of the drawing, making the pile of thalassa shells even bigger. "These are supposed to make sure we never get separated." She choked out as tears formed in her eyes.

Tears rolled down her cheeks as Kairi leaned herself against the musty wall, bringing her knees up to her chest. She ran her hands up and down her arms as harsh shivers ran through her body.

"Kairi…" Riku said as he walked into the secret place.

Kairi quickly wiped her tears. "Riku, I didn't hear you come in."

"I didn't want to bother you, but it sounds like you can use a friend." He said taking a seat beside her. "You haven't cried in a while."

"I've been trying not to. It's been so long and I just want to move on, but I can't." She cried as Riku pulled her into his arms. "It isn't fair! Sora didn't deserve this! He saved so many people! Why did it have to be this way?"

"That's….just the harsh reality of life. It isn't fair." Riku answered running his hand up and down Kairi's back. "But...oh, who am I kidding? I can barely get these words out myself."

"Riku…"

"Kairi, I'm tired." He sighed, leaning against the wall. "I've spent the last year searching for clues on Sora's location while fighting my own sadness and grief. I can't fight my own feelings anymore." A tear rolled down Riku's cheek. "I have to do what I've done with the darkness, just accept it and control it." He wiped his tear and looked into Kairi's eyes. "We can't give up yet, but we need to think about the next step. At the end of the day, Sora's always going to be in our hearts, okay?"

"I just feel so stupid that I'm not over this." Kairi said as she broke the hug and turned away from Riku.

"You're not stupid. Some take longer than others to overcome stages of grief." He patted her on the back. "You'll get there, I promise."

"Sure thing, Riku."

Kairi stood up and walked back out of the secret place leaving a hopeless Riku. It seemed no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't brighten her spirits. He sighed heavily, leaning against the drawing and staring up in the bright light. Life seemed to be anything but peaceful in his eyes. As long as his best friend was nowhere to be found and his other best friend was depressed, Riku would never feel at home. His friends were his home. They were the reason he was able to conquer the darkness. He turned and looked at the drawing, smiling at the possibility that one day, everything would be as it should be.

"You'll be back soon, Sora." Riku said brushing his hand against the drawing. "I know you will."