Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers

Warnings/Tags: Swearing, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Italian Tony Stark

The title was not inspired by a quote in the first Thor, but after I thought of the title, I realised it somewhat perfectly linked back to this quote: "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor"

Sorry, this is quite short, I struggled to drag this out!

Cross-posted on my AO3 with a collage.

The Avengers wandered out of the elevator chatting to one another as they headed for the communal living room to relax after a long and exhausting week. There were a series of beeps and Tony looked over with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello to you too buddy." He murmured with a kind smile as he spotted Dum-E, who chirped again before getting back to cleaning. Tony looked away, "J, what's he doing up here?"

"I believe Dum-E has been wanting some attention and felt the best way to gain some was to try and clean. As you can imagine, he made more of a mess-" There were a series of angry chirps, but the AI continued, "but I have to admit, Dum-E did do a decent job at cleaning it all up."

"Huh," Tony muttered as everyone settled on the couches and as they picked out a movie, the genius wandered over to Dum-E and gave him a gentle pat.

"You're a good boy and I promise I'll spend some more time with you tomorrow, I've been meaning to oil your joints up and how about I make tomorrow a daddy-and-oldest-son-day?" Dum-E chirped in happy agreement before he rushed off to the kitchen and knowing that his (very) slightly stupid robot had heard Clint's shout for food and drinks and was preparing to bring the team something that would undoubtedly poison them and wind them up in a hospital bed for a few days, Tony took off after him.

The genius returned moments later with drinkable drinks and edible snacks in his and Dum-E's hands (or in the latter's case it was his one arm), said bot was following behind the man with a sad beep. Placing everything on the table, Tony moved round to get to his seat when he tripped and fell to the ground.

"Thor." He growled looking at the object that had caused him to fall. It was Mjölnir. Thor looked sheepish whilst the others laughed. There was a sudden silence as Tony stood up, he looked behind and saw Dum-E holding the hammer. "Dum-E! My child! I always knew you had it in you-" Before Tony could continue praising his first bot child, Dum-E promptly dropped the hammer. It landed on Tony's foot.

—LINE BREAK—

There was a tense silence that seemed to last a while before Tony was exclaiming madly. He picked up the hammer, shocking everyone, yet he didn't seem to have realised. Before their eyes, they watched as Tony transformed into -what everyone liked to call- 'Angry-Italian-Anthony'. His arms were moving everywhere in a manic manner as he shouted at Dum-E, who was quiet yet held his long arm low in shame. The team just watched in shock and awe.

"Go to your room, young man and think about your actions." Tony finished with pointing the hammer at Dum-E, who sulked off doing as he was told. The genius had yet to realise he was holding Mjölnir. Before he could realise, Tony slumped and looked so incredibly defeated that no one had the heart to bring up the hammer.

"God, I sounded just like my dad." Yeah, no one felt they should speak after that sentence. Tony began to pace, waving Mjölnir around in a nervous and worried manner. "Fuck. Shit. Balls. I sounded just like dear old dad. He was a shit dad. God, Dum-E's going to hate me. God. Fuck. I'm a terrible dad. I just shouted and hurt his feelings. It was an accident and I blew up at him." He paused in his speech and pacing, but before anyone could tell him differently, he started up again, "This is just like the time I dropped dad's fucking wrench. It hit his toes and whilst it wasn't heavy, he fucking blew up. Surprisingly, I didn't get physically backhanded but his words were just enough of a punch."

"Tony. Shut up and look down at your right hand." Natasha snapped and his eyes slowly wandered down his arm. He stared at the hammer. Bewilderment was written across his face. He looked at his hand as though it wasn't his own.

"Well, this is fake." Is all he could say.

"Nay. Anthony, that is the real Mjölnir."

"I…am so confused. Here." Tony whispered passing the weapon over to its rightful owner before taking off and heading down to the lab to apologise to Dum-E and then pretend nothing had ever happened. After all, it must've been a glitch, because there was no way that Tony -Tony Stark- was worthy.

—LINE BREAK—

Dum-E forgave him, of course, but Tony ended up spending most of the next day with his first bot. The Avengers came together later that day, but no one mentioned the Mjölnir incident, that's not to say they weren't all sharing grins with each other and Tony, who blatantly ignored them. Though looking closely enough, one could see the small uplift of his lips as he tried desperately not to smile but failed.

Here's my tumblr if you're interested, it also has the story collages: anxious- - -soul (no spaces between the dashes but sucks and wouldn't allow the dashes without spaces)

Anyway,
Thank you for reading,
Hope you enjoyed this,
Please review,
No hate -don't like, don't read

Bye~