"RED TIME-ALERT! RED TIME-ALERT! ALL MEMBERS OF TPAES TO THE BRIEFING ROOM IMMEDIATELY!"

Lolph and Dundgren looked up from their reports as the artificial voice of the Intelligent Alarm System blared throughout the headquarters of the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squad. They gave each other a determined nod as they stepped outside of their office and joined the other operatives rushing to the briefing room.

Settling into empty chairs, Lolph turned to his partner. "There hasn't been a red time-alert since that fiasco with Cipher. What do you think it is?"

"We're about to find out," said Dundgren, nodding to the front of the room where Commander Axel, a tall woman who proudly wore the scars of several dangerous missions, stepped up to the podium.

"Everybody shut the hell up and listen," she growled as her officers settled down to give her their full attention, the situation too serious for any rabble. Never one to waste words, she got straight to the point: "Someone broke out of the Infinetentiary." The room stirred. There had only ever been one person to ever escape the Infinetentiary before: Blendin Blandin. No one knew how he had achieved this, it was one of the greatest mysteries they had ever come across. For another to escape only added to the intrigue.

"It gets worse," said Commander Axel with a sigh. "The escapee is Phillip Pink." The mutterings that had followed the mention of the escape died when the name left her lips. Lolph and Dundgren stared at the commander in shock.

"Yep," she agreed, "This is pretty bad." She turned to the holographic projector behind her and activated it with the control in her hand. A hologram appeared at the front of the room, showing a tall, muscular man with stylised ginger hair, faint freckles and a broad grin. "You all know just how dangerous this piece of crap is. We've no idea how he got out and right now I don't care. What I do care about is finding him as soon as we can and stopping him from getting any more innocent people hurt. Questions?"

One officer raised her hand. "Do we have any idea when he's going?" She asked when the commander nodded to her.

Axel shrugged. "We're not sure. He's on the run so he's probably going to try and find somewhere to lay low before he travels through time. He'll need to find a time tape first and that won't be easy."

"Do you think he'll try to find any more members of the Cult?" asked another officer as several others raised their hands.

"Has someone contacted his ex? Could be he's on a revenge trip?"

"He could be trying to fulfill the Cult's mission on his own - has anyone checked if there's any major paradoxes?"

"Look people," said Axel impatiently as the questions continued, "Pink's too smart to try anything without the proper equipment. It won't matter what his goal is if we don't find him, so think! Where could he find weapons, tools and time tape?"

"Uh, here?" suggested the least experienced officer in the room, making his partner slap himself on the forehead.

The others in the room all laughed and even the commander smirked at the flustered cop. "Yeah, sure," she said as she rolled her eyes. "Like Pink's gonna dare to show his face here."

"ANOTHER RED TIME-ALERT! PHILLIP PINK HAS BROKEN INTO THE PRIMARY ARMOURY! GIVE THE NEWBIE A RAISE!"

"Who da man?" Cried said newbie, raising an expectant hand to his incredulous partner as the others dashed out of the briefing room.

Commander Axel led the charge, Lolph and Dundgren at her heels as they all drew their plasma pistols, slowing when they reached the corner of the corridor that led to the armoury.

"Pink!" She yelled, peeking around the corner then motioning to the others when she saw it was clear. "We've got you outnumbered and surrounded! Give up before someone gets hurt!"

"Oh aye, I'll just turn myself in now that I've actually made it this far, shall I?" came the sarcastic response as the time police took positions on either side of the armoury door. "Don't be an eejit, Commander. I've come too far to stop now."

"Don't call me an eejit, you idiot!" Snapped Axel as she held up three fingers and slowly lowered one. "Come on, Pink, do you really think you can get out of this?" She lowered another finger. "Are you really that desperate?" Axel started to lower her last finger as Lolph and Dundgren prepared to lean into the room.

"Yep, pretty desperate," came the reply before they heard the familiar sound of a time-jump, Axel leaping from her position and firing too late at the fading outline.

"Damn it!" She snarled before she started barking orders. "Check the inventory, find out what he took! Show me the recordings so we can find out when he went!" She motioned to Lolph and Dundgren. "You two with me," she snapped, leaving the room.

"I doubt they'll find anything on the recordings," she admitted as she led them away from the crime scene. "He's too smart to let the cameras see when he went but at least we can learn what equipment he's got. And we've got you two - you're the best, so if anyone can find him and take him down, you can."

"We won't let you down, Commander," said Lolph, raising his fist to his partner.

"Let us know when he is and we'll throw him back in his cage," agreed Dundgren, meeting his partner's fist with his own.

"Well that's the million space credit question, isn't it?" sighed Axel. "Still, at least we're pretty sure where he's going." They reached the secondary armoury and she motioned for the men to enter. "Prepare yourselves," she advised them. "Requisition whatever you need, I'll sign for all of it. As soon as they let me know what he stole we're heading straight to Gravity Falls."

Robbie Stacey Valentino drummed his fingers along a fence post in boredom as his girlfriend updated her status for the hundredth time that hour.

"You want to go back inside?" Tambry asked, not even lifting her eyes from her phone. "There's TV in there at least."

Robbie glared back at his house and saw his parents still smiling and laughing as they removed the snack from the occupied glass coffin they were using as a table. "Ugh, no way," he groaned. "I'm not going back in there! Not with their 'oh Robbie, you two are so amazing together!' or 'we love you so much and love how happy you've become!' attitude!" He rolled his eyes. "Geez, why can't they complain about my grades or tell me to stop wasting my life like Wendy's dad, huh?"

"Wendy's dad doesn't complain about her grades anymore," said Tambry as she continued texting. "Not since she's been getting Bs all over the place."

Robbie gave a disbelieving snort. "Hah, yeah right, good one!"

Tambry glanced up from her phone and met his disbelieving gaze.

"Wait, seriously?" asked Robbie as Tambry returned to her phone. "Woah, how'd she manage that? I mean, my grades aren't the best but Wendy's-"

"Dipper's been tutoring her. They've had a weekly study session online for, like, the last few months now."

"Huh," said Robbie, thinking back on the last year and realising that he couldn't remember the last time she had mentioned arguing with her father about her grades. "She never told me," he said quietly. "Do you think she did that 'cause of the thing with the principal?"

Tambry stopped texting and looked at him. They thought back to several months before when a bored Wendy, sick and tired of the restraints put on the town and school by the Never Mind All That Act, had decided to play a prank on the humourless principal to bring some joy back into her frustrated life. She had somehow managed to stuff his office full of balloons unnoticed, most filled with air but others with water or foam, all painstakingly designed to burst at the slightest provocation. She had gathered her friends to the hall leading to his office and waited with great expectation as the too-strict man who had made their lives at school even worse for as long as they had been there opened his door...and broke down in tears and had to be taken to see Professor Passuum straight away as they watched in horror.

The next day the entire school was summoned to the gym where the vice-principal informed the confused pupils that the principal had retired and would not be returning again. The only reason given was Never Mind All That. The moment the students were told to go back to their classrooms, Wendy left the line to speak to the vice-principal and didn't return with the rest of the class. Looking out the window twenty minutes later, Thompson saw Manly Dan's jeep outside the school and at lunch they heard others students say that Officer Mendez had been seen in the halls. It was not uncommon for this to happen when Wendy Corduroy was involved, but this would usually end with her appearing at most an hour later with a scowl on her face. Her friends didn't see her for the rest of that day.

The next morning, Wendy was back in class and refused to talk about what had happened, only stating that she wouldn't play a prank at school again and that their former principal deserved to be left alone. She had been true to her word. Sure, she still received her fair share of detentions do to her attitude and the occasional fight, and she was still happy to engage in pranks outside of the school, but now she choose her targets with much more care.

"Did she ever tell you what happened that day?" asked Robbie. "What they said in the office?"

"Yeah," said Tambry, nodding slowly. "And the next day she made me promise not to tell anyone else. And I'm going to keep that promise."

"Yeah, that's fair," said Robbie. "I'm glad she told someone at least. She's right you know. About the whole town keeping everything bottled up. Even with the Prof, that's gonna cause some major issues down the line. Hey, did she ever explain why they cancelled that party last week? All I got was your message, nobody else seems to know anything about why."

"No," said Tambry with a worried frown. "All she said was that I should contact everyone in town and tell them the party's off. And if they asked why just say Never Mind All That and that we shouldn't mention it to Mabel at all. I never thought I'd hear Wendy use that as an excuse. Must have been something important. Or really bad."

Their thoughts led to other memories, of maniacal high-pitched laughter, a distorted voice mocking them as they were unable to move or scream, a time when the thought of death offered as much relief as it did fear.

Tambry put her phone away and Robbie put an arm around her as she leaned against him. "Never mind all that," he told her gently. "That's all in the past. What's important is that we're here now. Together. And I'm actually looking forward to seeing Mabel. Without her, we might never of gotten together, remember? I'm even willing to put up with her brother for that!"

Tambry smiled at him, only for it to fade as they saw a patrol car drive up to the front of the house, a slash on the side and a large dent on the hood and a scowling hispanic woman in a sheriff deputy's outfit got out to glare at them.

"You!" snapped Officer Gloria Mendez, pointing an accusing finger at Tambry, the two teens flinching at the attention from Gravity Falls' only competent member of law enforcement. "Where the hell is Corduroy?" she demanded, getting out of her car and closing the damaged door after some difficulty.

"I don't know!" snapped Tambry defensively as the officer moved around the car to get closer to them. "And even if I did, I wouldn't say!"

"Yeah, thick as thieves, aren't you?" sneered Mendez. "Well you'd better tell her to get her pale butt over to the station as soon as she can to answer for what she did to my car and Main Street!"

"Whoah, Wendy did that?" said Robbie as they looked at the damaged vehicle. "Are you sure? I mean, she usually doesn't go that far in her pranks and damaging a cop car is a bit-"

"I know what I saw!" Mendez almost screamed at him before she took a deep breath. She pulled off her hat and scratched at her arm, just below the patch where the word 'ofisor' appeared where deputy should have been. "Look," she said, lowering her voice. "I get it, you don't talk to the cops when your friend's in trouble. Fine. But you should at least tell her that the sooner she turns herself in the easier it'll be. I don't know if it was a ghost or whatever but the sooner she explains herself, the less trouble she'll be in. Can you do that at least?"

Robbie gave a snort. "Yeah, and why would we tell Wendy to do that?"

Officer Mendez took a step towards him, the tall teen taking a step back despite the woman barely coming up to her shoulders. "Because I said so and the sooner I find Corduroy the less stressed I'll be, and the less stressed I am, the less likely I'll be to accidentally run over your guitar and bike. That a good enough reason?"

"Uh," said Robbie, blinking nervously before he composed himself. "I mean, whatever, sure, maybe I'll do that. Or maybe I won't. Whatever." He added, trying to regain his indifferent attitude.

Officer Mendez said nothing, just continuing to glare at the teens for a few seconds more as they started to sweat despite themselves. Then she returned to her vehicle, struggling again with the door before she drove away.

"What the hell was that about?" wondered Tambry as the car disappeared around a corner. "And did she say ghost? Man, ghosts are the worst!"

"Yeah, ghosts suck," agreed Robbie. "But what did you expect? Those kids always seem to bring trouble with them. I mean, you heard about the bus that brought them here? I heard it was torn to shreds!"

"Yeah, Wendy said that was the Manotaurs," said Tambry, pulling out her phone again. "Said they'd kidnapped Dipper and then they went on a quest to rescue the kid." She quickly summarised the adventure Wendy had went on the week before.

Robbie's frown deepened as he listened to her talk. She never told me any of thet either, he thought to himself.

"Wow," said Robbie when she had finished. "Told you those kids are like a trouble magnet. Especially Dipper. I mean, he actually goes looking for the stuff!" A familiar van stopped just at the gate of the fence and the couple made their way to it. "One day that's going to get him seriously hurt!" he continued as he slide the door open, high-fiving Lee and Nate as they took their seats.

"Get who seriously hurt?" asked Thompson nervously from the driver's seat. "Is it me? Oh man, I hope it's not me!"

"Relax, Thompson," scoffed Robbie the van started to move. "I was talking about Dipper and the way he's always finding trouble and spooky stuff." A thought suddenly came to him. "Hey, you guys ever wonder why it's only now that people are noticing all these strange monsters and stuff? I mean, you'd think someone would have noticed that there's a cave of minotaurs and a bear monster out there."

"Wendy said that there used to be this, like, secret society or something that went around wiping people's memories whenever they saw something weird," said Tambry, looking up from her phone to speak to him again, something that she only rarely did for others. "But then she stopped it with the help of the twins, the McGucket guy and that Soos guy she works for now."

"Huh," said Lee, "I don't remember seeing anybody who looked like they were in a secret society."

"That's 'cause the would have wiped your memory, doofus!" laughed Nate, punching him in the shoulder.

"Your mom's a doofus," retorted Lee, punching him back.

"Oh yeah, Nate, we still good for that music concert next Friday?" asked Robbie.

Nate groaned in misery. "Oh man, I dunno. My mom's pretty p.o.'d at my grades. Don't know if she's willing to drive us to it."

"Heh, should have gotten Dr Funtimes to help you with your grades, bro," said Lee.

"So, uh, you guys knew that Dipper was coaching Wendy?" asked Robbie.

"Yeah, of course dude, she talks about him all the time," said Lee as Nate and Thompson nodded. "She said Dipper's actually really good and she's hoping to talk him into tutoring us too and hopefully convince him to do it for free if we're nice to her."

"Heh, she's got that poor guy wrapped around her little finger," grinned Nate.

"Wait, he's still got that thing for her?" asked Thompson. "I mean it's been almost a year, shouldn't he have moved on by now?"

Nate gave a snort. "Come on Thompson, they've been spending so much time online he probably hasn't had a chance to move on. And it's gonna be hitting him full-throttle now that he's seeing her in person again. Doesn't help that she's been spending so much of her time at the Shack and inviting him and his sister everywhere she goes."

Robbie scratched his chin as he thought about that. As far as he had been aware, Wendy hadn't been spending any more time at the Shack than needed, and he hadn't heard anything about Wendy spending time with the twins. He glanced at Tambry and saw that this didn't surprise her any more than it did the others.

"Poor little dude," sighed Lee. "We really need to find him some girl his own age. Don't wanna see his heart broken, y'know?"

"Wendy already told him she's not interested," said Tambry with a shrug. "But he's still just a kid, sometimes they struggle to move on. I mean, there was this one time when Wendy and me were five, she became totally obsessed with this cute older boy she met on the street for, like, five minutes." Tambry rolled her eyes. "Talked about him for months. It was sickening. He's probably at college now or something."

"Yeah, but sometimes it's not just kids who can't move on," said Thompson. "I mean, look at Robbie! Remember that time we found him moaning in that grave just because he was still upset about-"

"Shut up, Thompson!" snapped Robbie, throwing an empty can at the back of his head and making the van swerve dangerously. "And watch the road!"

"Sorry!" said Thompson, gulping nervously as he glanced through the rear-view mirror and saw Tambry's venomous stare.

Robbie pulled his hood up and glared out the window as Tambry returned to her phone with renewed intensity while Nate and Lee continued their snickering, probably at his expense.

He ignored them, thinking back to that time in his life when, still heartbroken over Wendy dumping him and furious over Dipper's role in it, he had wallowed in a misery that was excessive even for him. He glanced over at Tambry and thought of how he felt now compared to when he was dating Wendy. She glanced up from her phone and they exchanged a brief smile that made him happy in a way Wendy never had. How could he have wasted so much time chasing after Wendy when Tambry had been there the whole time? He'd wasted years on her. Not months, years. He had been attracted to her even on the day they had met, tugging at her hair in a juvenile attempt to draw her attention, only to receive it in the form of a punch that chipped his tooth. Even when they had become friends, he had still felt that attraction, even before she had grown into her now school-famous looks. And when her newfound beauty had inadvertently brought her all those admirers, he had felt a painful pang as she accepted their attention easily, followed by elation when she had broken up with them all.

Most had just desired her for her looks and in the end had found her untamed nature as alarming as they originally found it appealing. Some had broken her heart, most she had dumped without a second thought. He had even heard a rumour that she had been ignoring one boyfriend so much that she had only remembered to dump him after Robbie had enjoyed that first date with her at the fair.

But even when they had finally started to date, he found himself lacking the joy he had been expecting. There were moments that still mattered to him, even now that he was with Tambry. Dates and conversations that had made him feel truly special. But as time went on, those moments became fewer. He kept having to put in more time and effort to get the responses he had wanted and became more frustrated with the work he was expected to put in. His mood would only worsen as Wendy spent more and more time with Dipper, often talking about the kid even when they were alone together and on dates. That frustration had nagged at him, making his success feel more hollow as time went on, constantly making him feel secondary to a child in short-shorts.

He glanced at Tambry again. Why did it seem so easy with her when it had seemed so hard with Wendy? Whatever the reason, he was only glad that he had finally found his happiness, even if it wasn't with Wendy. If only he'd found it sooner, how different would his life be?

His thought were interrupted when he felt the van come to a halt and the door slid open.

"Wendy!" cried Nate, Lee Thompson and Tambry together as the redhead grinned at them.

"Hey guys, look who it is!" said Wendy, motioning to the Shack.

"Hello fellow teens!" yelled Mabel as she waved at the van from the porch, Dipper sitting on the couch and writing in a thick book with a blue cover and a golden pine tree symbol on the front.

Robbie undid his seatbelt and stepped out to give them better access, considering Dipper in Wendy's old hat and wearing a pair of boots, worn trousers and a green flannel shirt. "Dude, he looks like your skinny non-redheaded brother in those clothes," he muttered to her as the boy put his book into his shirt.

"Oh man, don't say that!" joked Nate as the twins ran to the van. "That makes his thing for Wendy even creepier!"

"Hey guys," said Dipper as they reached the van. "Long time no see! How's it going?"

"Super now you're here!" said Lee, leaning forward to high-five the thirteen-year old. "Gonna be awesome to roll with Dr Funtimes again!"

"And don't forget me!" said Mabel. "Everything fun becomes even funner with a little Mabel thrown in! Hey, you okay Nate?"

"He's fine," said Wendy as Nate clutched at his stomach painfully. "Just got a stomach ache. Better watch what you do in case you make it worse, huh Nate?" she asked, Nate nodding in agreement as Lee laughed.

"Hey Robbie, hey Tambry," said Mabel, reviewing the two. "I see you two are still an item, no small thanks to me. I can sense the love here, I did good. Not snadger good, but I'll get there."

"I've no idea what a snadger is, but yeah, we're pretty good," confirmed Robbie, glancing at Wendy and Tambry who gave a confused shrug and a smile respectively.

"Whoah, Robbie!" said Mabel, taking a step back to consider him. "You've shrunk! Did you come across some weird crystals while we were gone?"

"I have not shrunk!" snapped Robbie. "It's just you guys are way taller!"

"No, that's not it," said Mabel frowning as she considered the gothic teen. "I know!" she said snapping her fingers. "You used to be taller than Wendy! Now you're not. What's up with that?"

"Lumberjack genes," sighed Wendy as Robbie suddenly became very self-conscious standing next to her. "I'm still a growing girl. At this rate I'll be catching up to Lee soon."

"Wow, do you think you'll be as big as your dad?" asked Mabel excitedly.

"I hope not," said Wendy with a frown. "I don't mind being tall but I don't want to be that tall. Hopefully I'll stop soon and then Marcus will overtake me."

"Who?"

"Oldest brother," whispered Dipper to his sister as she climbed into the van.

"Oh wait, your little bro!" said Mabel cheerfully. "Your oldest little bro, I knew that! Anyway, forget the gigantor genes, is everybody ready to go to the mall? We need to start Operation: Get My Smelly Brother Some Decent Clothes! I named it myself."

"My clothes are fine!" snapped Dipper. "And washing them is a waste of time if they're only going to get dirty again!"

"Seriously?" asked Thompson, turning to face the boy. "You do know how unsanitary that is, right? Your hormones are way out of whack, you're gonna be sweating everywhere due to everything and you're not even bothering to wash the clothes Wendy loaned you from her brother? That's just rude, dude."

"Whoah, check out Thompson!" said Nate with a grin. "He just schooled Dr Funtimes! And that's totally not cool," he added as Wendy gave him a look.

"No way, that's totally cool!" said Mabel with a grin. "I've been trying to improve my brother for years. Let's see if peer pressure and humiliation can do it. Go Thompson! Thompson! Thompson!"

"At long last, I'm no longer at the bottom of the totem pole!" gasped Thompson, feeling overwhelmed by their support.

"Nah, you're still at the bottom," corrected Mabel, leaning into the front of the van while the others continued the chant. "We're just supporting you this one instance to save our noses from suffering later."

"You know, Dip," said Wendy to the glaring thirteen-year old as Thompson's expression changed to one of forlorn, "Most people think that washing or using aftershaves makes it easier for wild animals to find you. When really, they've had millions of years of evolution training them to detect sweat and other natural human scents. So while it's good not go overboard, making sure you have plenty of clean clothes and antiperspirant to hide your smell really helps when it comes to avoiding wild animals or monsters."

"Huh," said Dipper. "Grunkle Ford said the same thing last night. Right before he listed off all the monsters he knew that could track through scent. I guess if both of you are warning me it's more common than I thought." He climbed into the van as Mabel gave Wendy an approving look.

"Oh yeah," said Tambry turning to Wendy as the redhead jumped in and closed the door. "What did you do to Officer Mendez's car? She's totally gunning for you after whatever you did on Main Street."

"Woah, that was you?" asked Lee, as Thompson and Nate looked at her in amazement. "Dude, you wrecked the place!"

"Wait, what?" asked Wendy, looking at her friends. "I haven't been near Main Street. I was in the Shack all day!"

"Yeah, we're witnesses," said Dipper as Mabel nodded. "She's been here the whole time."

"Well she was pretty sure it was you," said Robbie. "Said she saw you with a ghost or something."

"I'd remember something like that," said Wendy with a frown as Thompson began the drive to the mall. "And like I said, I've been at the Shack with these two dorks all day. Unless I have a doppelganger or whatever." She turned to Dipper. "Wait, is that a thing?"

"Not that I've heard," said Dipper thinking hard. "Wait. You, er, haven't used that beaten up photocopier lately have you?"

"Do we still have that thing? Soos just heads to the copier store whenever we need something. He really likes that place. Why?"

"Uh, no reason," said Dipper. "Hang on, I've been wondering this for a while now, but why is it Officer Mendez? It's a sheriff's department. Shouldn't it be Deputy Mendez?"

"Oh, blame Durland for that one," said Nate with a snicker. "When she started working here they didn't have any spare uniforms since Durland's been the only deputy for years and they had to order some for her. Except Durland made the order and since she used to be a cop in the city, when he ordered the patches he put the word officer instead of Deputy."

"And spelled it OFISOR." added Lee with a grin.

"Man, if the guy can't read, why'd they let him make the order?" asked Robbie with a shake of his head.

"It makes him happy so Blubs lets him do it." Explained Dipper, who had learned a bit more about the two after he had helped them chase a giant bat away from the town one night. "He spoils him like that. And he can read, he just forgets."

"He forgets how to read?" asked Tambry. "That must take forever to teach again."

"No," corrected Dipper. "I mean he forgets he knows how to read. He'll pick up a book and complain that he wishes he could read, but then Blubs will gently remind him that he can read and he'll just slap his head, say 'silly me!' and start reading. I mean, he's not a great reader by any stretch and his spelling's atrocious...but yeah, he just needs a reminder now and then. Actually, that sounds even worse than forgetting how to read now that I've said it out loud."

"But, wouldn't they just get the patches fixed and then make her a deputy?" asked Mabel.

"Durland again," explained Wendy. "Apparently he kicked up quite the fuss when they tried to fix his mistake. Went all huffy that someone else would be the deputy to 'his Blubs.'" She had lifter her fingers in quotation marks. "Said that he was the sheriff's deputy and that he wouldn't share his Blubs with anyone else. They tried to explain it to him that that's not how it worked but he must have really put his foot down. In the end they just gave up and made her Gravity Falls' first and only Sheriff's Officer. Best not to think about it too hard."

"That makes absolutely no sense," said Dipper, who had a recurring problem of thinking too much about most things.

Mabel nudged him sharply. "Dipper! It's love! It doesn't have to make sense! I think it's adorable."

"Well, Mendez wasn't too happy with it," said Tambry with a smirk. "Half her uniforms still have officer misspelled on the patch. But she used it to her advantage in the end. Started to make people do some really embarrassing community services instead of throwing them in the jail for a day or two."

"I miss the jail," sighed Thompson sadly, and Dipper and Mabel were surprised to see that all of the other teens clearly agreed with him.

"Is she even allowed to hand out community service?" asked Dipper. "Isn't that only something a judge or maybe a sheriff can do?"

"Yeah, we tried to complain about that once," said Wendy miserably. "Just told us that she's a Sheriff's Officer and not a deputy so there wasn't a law against it. And I think Blubs was just happy to let her do it if she handled all the paperwork."

"Yeah and like we were saying, she seemed super mad at you, Wendy," warned Robbie. "Ain't that right Tambry?...Tambry?"

Robbie looked at his girlfriend in confusion, noticing the way she stared unblinkingly at her phone, her fingers uncharacteristically still as they hovered above the screen. Wendy nudged him with her boot to draw his attention and nodded to Lee and Nate, both as still as pictures.

"Are we playing Red Light, Green Light?" asked Mabel. "'Cause if we are I am very impressed."

"Uh, guys?" said Dipper, pointing out the window. Robbie, Wendy and Mabel followed his finger and saw that he was pointing to two birds still in the air, despite their unmoving wings.

"Now I'm even more impressed!"

"What's happening?" asked Wendy as Robbie worriedly waved his hand in front of Tambry's face to no reaction.

"Time's frozen," muttered Dipper, still staring at the birds. "Except for us. Either that or the four of us are moving so fast that the rest of the world seems to be at a stand-still."

The door to the van slid open and the four still-mobile teens found themselves facing three tall, armoured figures.

"Hey, right the first time!" said Mabel, recognising Lolph and Dundgren immediately as the TPAES operatives scowled at the group. "Go Dipper! You're getting good at this."

Author's note: I had originally planned to introduce Mendez and explain why she was called Officer, and not Deputy, in my previous work but couldn't find a place to do it without interrupting the flow of that story. I think giving her the title of Officer separates her from her colleagues and emphasises that she's actually a competent member of law enforcement, unlike Blubs and Durland. At least they mean well.

And if I'm honest, I think that Durland not allowing anyone else to be Blubs' deputy is kinda cute. Who needs Dipcifica or Wendip when you have a couple as adorable as they are? And I can use it to explain why we only ever see one deputy for the whole town. (I assume that's small for somewhere the size of Gravity Falls.) I don't know much about American law enforcement or American laws in general so any errors or discrepancies from this point on I'll either correct sometime down the line or just pass off as a weird Gravity Falls law. They have some weird laws, man.

Or this could just be me trying to ram a quick correction into my story because I'm deeply insecure and every time I see an error in my work I get all defensive and have to explain that I meant it all along and I'm not a bad writer and JUST STOP JUDGING ME OKAY!?

I'll let you folks decide. Personally, I'd go with insecurity as the reason. It's funnier.