Summary: For the first time in over a month, Adrien has a restful night's sleep.

Author's note: So I can't write such a heavy topic without breaking it up with some fun. Life's just not constantly one feeling like that. We have good days and bad. This is a good day, er- night for Adrien. Enjoy.

If the note wasn't obvious, this chapter is explicit.

Chapter 3: A restful night

Adrien's hand traveled to his mouth as he suppressed a groan, then trailed down his chin, before finally flopping onto his desk with a thud.

It was still early, but he had finished all of his work for the night. He sat in his room at his desk, legs crossed, still dressed, and wondered what to do. He should turn in early. Tomorrow he had an exam, and he still hadn't gotten a restful night's sleep in... how long had it been? Too long now to remember. The semester was already over halfway through.

He was plagued to relive this hell each and every time he slept. He was sure of it.

He had no reason to believe tonight would be any different.

Leaning back into his desk chair, he rocked gently... back and forth... and back... and forth... and he closed his eyes.

It only seemed to be once he fell asleep that the nightmares would come. Right now, while still awake, he could doze and try to forget his troubles.

Slowly, he began unbuttoning his dress shirt, fingertips grazing bare skin and he shivered.

He needed to get changed for bed, but he was pretty comfortable in his chair, so for now he just let his top hang open across his bare chest. He normally wore an undershirt, but modeling this afternoon required he get dressed and undressed quickly, so he skipped it.

Adrien was tired. As if to prove it to himself, a yawn escaped and he couldn't help but stretch out. His hand fell atop his lap and he may as well undo his belt and zipper. That helped him already to feel a bit less...mmphf– tight. Better. A breeze wafted in from outside, bringing with it the scents of late Autumn.

Such a peaceful evening. The sun was almost completely set, leaving a beautiful red glow in its stead. Night would be here shortly.

How lovely it would look from above the rooftops.

His identity unknown, flying through the skies, he could just be himself. He unconsciously shifted his hand, brushing against his length.

He loved his time as Chat Noir, but like everything else good in life, it had to come to an end.

He rested like that for a few more minutes, soaking in the last few rays of sun, just... enjoying the moment. His breathing slowed and deepened, and he traced an outline up and down. He hummed.

Feeling a twinge of snark, a smile spread across Adrien's lips as he imagined Ladybug seeing him as his real self. See something you like, my lady? I knew you just couldn't resist. He ran his fingers through his model hair and gave a brief swish before letting it fall naturally, perfectly framing his face.

Ha, like that would happen. Still, a guy could dream. Especially when he had nothing left.

Suddenly he no longer felt like moving.

Eventually, the beautiful sun set, leaving only a cold night sky in its place. His only company was the faint light from the moon.

How he missed the sun already.

He sighed. Guess it's now or never. He should at least try to sleep. Adrien stood up, letting his pants fall to the floor. He rolled his shoulders back to do the same for his top. Clad only in his briefs, he didn't bother to pick up the clothing before strolling to his dresser drawers.

What would be most comfortable? Sweatpants and a t-shirt sounded perfect. He noticed an old pair he hadn't worn for a few years in his bottom drawer, wow this took him back and— suddenly he found himself blushing beet red.

Did he still have that hiding in there?

A rush pooled between his legs and he felt just a bit more restricted than before. Why did he still have this?

Quickly, Adrien dressed before coming back to the item in question.

He considered his...ahem, toy, for a moment. He purchased it a few years ago, before he met Plagg that is, and had since forgotten about it. He had tried it once, but he was so worried about someone catching him that it just didn't work out.

As for its initial entry into the house– somehow he had managed to buy it without attracting the attention of his father. Hrm... now that he was thinking about it, he couldn't remember what justification he gave when an unmarked package arrived in the mail for one Adrien Agreste. How livid his father would be, to know his son had something like this. An Agreste should be poised and proud. They definitely didn't put things in their... well...

Adrien cleared his throat, putting down the item. He really should get to bed. Maybe another time. He gently held the drawer handle and pushed it shut.

What would Plagg have thought, had he known his human friend thought of performing such acts on himself? For nothing more than sexual gratification? Plagg was pretty old... he must've seen crazier people than Adrien, of course.

Hrm... what kinds of things had Plagg seen... ?

Shaking his head to get those images out of mind, he brought himself back to the situation at hand.

Because Plagg wasn't here anyway, and he never was coming back.

It was just Adrien now.

Alone.

Unable to sleep.

And maybe just a bit aroused. Though to be fair, that still didn't mean he had to use anything other than his own hand. It always did the job just fine.

It would be enough for tonight as well.

With that in mind, he walked to his bed and pulled the covers back. Sparing no more than one last glance at the drawer across the room, he got in.

Adrien closed his eyes and let himself doze in and out. He could feel the heat between his legs that wasn't going away despite how tired he was. He pressed against the heat through the fabric of his pants.

On quiet nights such as this one, Adrien could pretend that he was the only person who existed, and the four walls were all that there was to the universe.

He shifted on his back and gripped himself from underneath his clothing. A small sigh left his lips as his hot cock touched cold hands. The sensation motivated him enough to pull his pants down his hips, far enough to give himself room.

Soft moans and quiet gasps permeated his bedroom.

He was torn between wanting to just finish and get to sleep, and wanting to take his time, knowing he'd be tired tomorrow either way.

So he might as well take his time.

Adrien's cock ached, wanting more as he lightly ghosted his fingers across the tip. He trembled, the other hand gripping the bed sheets as he refused to give into temptation. A few fingers glided the foreskin up and down, and the back of his head sunk further into his pillow.

"Mmf... ha..." he breathed a sound with each tug and pull on his erection. Thoughts of the day faded to the background. He sped up his pace, switching now to use his entire hand, and his voice grew a bit deeper.

He continued steadily, alternating between moving fast and hard and slow and torturous, bringing himself to the edge.

Adrien backed off for a moment, removing his pants entirely since it had gotten quite warmer for him over the last period of time. Now he was much more comfortable. And still so hard.

His hand returned to where he most wanted it, and went back to stroking the same way he started– with feather-like touches and caresses that only served to rile him up more. His other hand disengaged with the sheets so as to cup himself, playing with his balls as he worked himself back to the edge. He whined loudly enough that had the neighboring room actually been occupied, someone would have complained.

"Eahh, ah... oh fuck!" He cursed loudly as he came. He wasn't prepared, expecting to hang on just a bit longer, and came in a hot mess on his sheets.

Groaning at what he'd just done, Adrien just laid there, a mix of relief and frustration present. As he came back down from his high, he sighed and made to stand up. The sheets would need to go in the wash. Thankfully, he was allowed to take care of his own laundry. No one should ask any questions if tomorrow he also washed his own sheets. He mused on this as he tossed them, along with his shirt and pants, into the hamper.

He replaced the sheets and then turned his attention to the fact that he was now nude and spent all over himself.

"I guess I needed a shower anyway." he said to no one.

Adrien walked over to his personal bathroom, another perk he was grateful of this evening.

His legs felt weak as his made the trek across. Part of him considered sitting, but he'd surely fall asleep in that case. He chuckled at the irony and pressed on until he arrived at his destination. Turning the knob to begin the water flow, he felt his body relax tensions he didn't realize he still had.

The room quickly filled with steam as he worked to clean himself up. Against his will, images of that night replayed in his mind. They just never seemed to leave. Every night it was the same.

He felt guilty wishing for the nightmares to end.

Tonight wasn't going to be any different, but he didn't have to give in to the distress right away. He promised himself he'd sleep in torment later, but while he was awake... while he was awake he would let himself be happy.

The water soothed his skin as he washed his body. Adrien felt his mood already was uplifted, just standing here in the shower. He let the water wash away his stress, his troubles, everything. There would be a time later to deal with it all. Now it was about him.

He finished up after a few minutes and shut the water off. Towel around his midsection, he made his way back to bed. He snuggled himself under the fresh blankets, and waited for sleep to finally come.

But it didn't.

He lay there, naked, wide awake and still unsatisfied despite having orgasmed not even fifteen minutes prior.

Adrien turned his head to the side and his gaze locked onto the small drawer across the room.

The drawer with the... with the toy in it.

Adrien swallowed and thought for a moment. He was alone. He was an adult. He was able to make his own decisions.

He was allowed to feel good.

He still hadn't completely recovered from previously, but he had a different kind of yearning building in him. He wanted to be held, to be loved, to be... hrm. He let out a soft moan.

He wanted to be fucked.

God he wanted that.

He wanted that so much.

Fine then. No one was here. Best time to try something semi-new, right? Adrien reasoned internally, warmth again returning to his cheeks. Okay, so he just needed to get up and go grab it then. Simple. Easy.

He lifted the blanket covering his body, suddenly feeling very exposed in his nakedness. Walking back over, he once again opened the drawer, this time picking up the object of interest. He frowned. This wasn't going to do on it's own. He moved to his desk drawer and rummaged through the contents, pulling out a small bottle of lubricant. He'd need this as well.

Adrien would be lying to himself if he wasn't feeling just a little self-conscious. Although it would be easier if he turned a light on at this point, he preferred to keep the room dark, illuminated only from the light outside.

Just the act of obtaining his items was enough to turn him on. His breathing was shallow by the time he made it back with everything.

He laid back on the bed and placed both the lube and his toy next to him. He then closed his eyes and pretended he was going to sleep.

He knew he wasn't, but doing this quelled the embarrassment.

After a minute, he reached for the toy. It wasn't ready, but he was going to work up to it. First, he felt it in his hands. Solid, thick. A quiet moan escaped his lips. One hand slid it's way down his body then, past his dick, towards his entrance. He slid a finger up and down, feeling both anxious and impatient.

"Ahh, ah" his voice cracked at what he was doing, even though he hadn't really even gotten started. If he was already this bad, how was he... ?

Needing more, he cracked open the tube and pressed some lube onto his fingers. No one was here, he reminded himself.

Slowly, he swept his hand back and forth, slowly sliding in as far as he could reach. It wasn't exactly what he wanted, but the eroticness of it was getting him erect again. But no. He needed to use the toy.

Removing his hand, he applied lube onto the toy and guided it towards where he wanted it. Very slowly, he applied pressure and positioned it just at his entrance, not yet wanting to go in. Just doing that felt so, so amazing. Adrien released the breath he'd been holding and just fell limp onto the bed. His arm almost wanted to stop, but then he wouldn't get to have so much fun.

He pushed the toy inside, slowly, reveling in the way it felt. It was almost too much. He started to move it, but then a small discomfort set in. He hadn't coated it properly, and now that it was inside it felt too rough.

Adrien suddenly felt an irrational anger well up from his stomach. He didn't understand it, but a sudden self loathing took over and he considered forcing the toy to move, purposely causing himself pain.

He deserved the pain. He should fuck himself to tears. He should...

He should relax and clear his head. Adrien didn't have any interest in pain, at least not tonight. Tonight was about pleasure.

He removed the toy and got it ready properly this time.

This time, when he placed it back at his entrance, he gasped. Adrien ran it up and down a few times before placing it inside him, writhing at the feeling of being filled.

His cheek rubbed against the pillow as he basked in this new sensation. He was going so slowly but couldn't care less anymore about what time it was or how long it would take. All that mattered was right now. Eyes half lidded, he slowly moved it out... and back in.

"Haah... oh.. ah—" he trailed off into incoherent sounds and breaths as the friction of the movement took him over. He alternated, in and out... in, fullness, submission... out, pleasure and wanting. Back and forth. Complete bliss.

He rocked and moaned on the bed, back pushing into the sheets as the rhythmic sound of his pleasure echoed for a second time throughout his room.

The moon kissed his face while painting his features with a soft pale light and highlighting his hips as they rolled in unison with his hands. He was panting and sweating and feeling so full and so hot, nude and in control.

His voice rose with each well timed thrust and his head flew back, mouth agape, when he hit just that right spot. Adrien buried further into the folds of his sheets.

He died and went to heaven, because this is what fucking heaven felt like. And he never wanted to leave.

Using the toy on himself like this just helped everything else in his mind to float away. And it felt so, so good.

"Ah.. ... hah.. hh.." his mouth slightly hung open wordlessly as his eyes stared at nothing on the ceiling.

He pumped evenly, then with a bit more fervor. His hands started to slip a little from the lube, and a chuckle escaped him at how ridiculous he probably looked in this position. But he was alone, so there was no need to be embarrassed.

Because he really was alone.

Shit. No, not now. He didn't need those thoughts getting in his head, when right now this was about him and making himself feel good.

He drove the toy in with one hard thrust and gasped. Tears pooled in his eyes but did not break out. He caught himself off guard and the feeling was intense, but not necessarily... bad?

Let's try that again. He started off slow again, warming himself up like before and— ah! oh god, oh...

He kept up his rough, fast pace a while longer, murmuring incoherently to himself. Please, don't stop. He gasps when he goes in a little too hard— oh...hh.. hah! He was so hard, his dick begging to be touched, but his hands were currently occupied with his other ministrations and he simply couldn't bring himself away from what already was doing it for him. And oh, yes this was what he needed.

His breathing became erratic as he let himself just stay in the moment, pumping again in a hard and steady rhythm.

Another pair of hands would be nice though, Adrien imagined. And not even for the obvious, hands to run up and down his sides, touch his neck, caress his face, hands that belonged to someone that was showing him just how much she loved him.

Touch me, please. he murmured into the empty room. Begging someone to be there with him, but not really caring that no one answered. A few more thrusts and one hand left its original place to move up his chest.

His pace slowed as his free hand roamed across his torso. Fingers grazed against his nipples and he whimpered. He longed to feel someone's mouth against his, rough and hot, soft and sweet, he didn't care. His eyes closed and he didn't try to resist the image that immediately came into his mind.

Long, dark hair. He thrust again into himself. Beautiful bluebell eyes. Another. How her skin would feel pressed against his own. Mmpfh god he wanted that. Just for a second. He was so desperate.

Adrien's rogue hand went back to support the other and he pumped fast and hard. Once, twice, three— ah! He inhaled sharply. Okay...he needed release, he couldn't keep going like this.

He grabbed his cock, leaving the toy deep within him, and started his motion. "Ahh!" he moaned loudly, without regard for any decorum. The competing sensations of fullness and getting himself off were indescribable. He didn't want this to end, yet he was working himself so hard he knew he wouldn't last much longer. But this time he was prepared.

Moans came out with each staggered exhale. His eyes were shut in ecstasy. Why had he been denying this to himself before?

He was close, but wanted to feel the toy again, just once more. Switching his hands, he pumped in and out as roughly as his tired arms allowed. A deep, guttural moan escaped him. He muttered under his breath, lost in his own world. "No... I can't take anymore... ah... yes, fuck me harder that's good...oh...oh please, please! haah—!" Ready this time with a tissue, he covered himself before unraveling in a silent plea, sweating and panting as he rode out his orgasm.

The tissue only helped him so much this time, he thought as his hand over it quickly became warm from his cum, more spilling down his shaft. But at least it was a contained mess.

"Oh, my god." Adrien huffed, lying completely spent on the bed.

Boneless, Adrien laid there, recovering. None of his muscles wanted to help him to get up to wash the toy.

Eventually, he made his way back to the bathroom. He'd need another shower tomorrow morning, but for now he was fine.

Better than fine even.

Leaving the toy on his nightstand, past caring if anyone saw it tonight, he collapsed back into the folds of his sheets and fell into a deep and blissful sleep.

For the first time in six weeks, he had no nightmares.