Marvel owns the Avengers. No copyright intended. I'm just playing in their sandbox.

Sequel to But, Not Us. Serious angst warning for this one, so I'm sorry in advance.

"If there was another way, I'd take it, Nat," Steve said, pulling her into his arms and kissing her one final time. "I have to go."

"I know. We said we wouldn't let our relationship come before the mission. We said we'd do whatever it took, but it hurts so much," Natasha said, her voice broken but her resolve strong. "Just try to come back to me."

"I will never stop trying."

Three Months Later

Avenger's Compound

Natasha woke up in a cold sweat. She'd suffered through occasional nightmares for years, but they had never been this frequent. They were coming every single night, and they were always the same. She always saw Steve. Sometimes, he would be running towards her, announcing his return. She would run to jump into his arms only to have him turn to dust before her eyes. Other times, she would see Thanos break his back on the battlefield, and her final image would be of his lifeless body.

She missed him desperately. Three months without Steve felt like a lifetime. Their sacrifice saved the universe. Everyone was back, reappearing in an instant completely unaware of the year their loved ones had spent without them.

It had been almost as much of a disruption having the population suddenly double as it had having it suddenly cut in half, but things were getting back to normal for the world. But, nothing would ever be normal again for Natasha.

The solution had been simple and complex at the same time. From the moment Carol had appeared and Bruce realized she shared the same energy signature as the space stone, things had really started to fall into place. She was strong, strong enough to give them an edge.

The real trick was finding Thanos and the stones. Nebula had helped with that dilemma. She knew where her adopted father planned to retire, and the mad titan hadn't been much of a match for the angry Avengers once they were all working together.

His injuries from the encounter with Thor had weakened him, and the gauntlet on his hand was fried from the snap. Nebula laid the final blow, killing Thanos just as she had planned. But, the cost was high. She was injured so badly that she wouldn't be fighting again any time soon.

With the stones in their possession, Tony and Bruce worked tirelessly. Without a working gauntlet, they couldn't just snap everyone back into place. Thor led the mission to build a new gauntlet at the forge, but there was a catch, always a catch.

None of the Avengers were strong enough to wield the power of the gauntlet without paying a price. Even Thanos had found himself trapped in his precious garden, and he was a titan.

Thor was the most logical choice, but Steve wouldn't let him make the sacrifice. Without Thor, who would lead the Asgardians? Tony offered, but he was a new father. Everyone was willing, but Natasha knew before the discussion even started that it would be Steve who saved them all.

The hope was that once Steve snapped his fingers and disappeared they would find him wherever he was transported, or maybe he would find a way home. Three months passed and still no Steve. Natasha was devastated, and these nightmares weren't getting better.

She needed to get away from the compound, or she wasn't going to make it. Everywhere she looked, she saw remnants of her life with Steve, and it was just too much.

Natasha dressed quickly and packed a bag. It was still dark outside, but it didn't matter. Science had failed to bring Steve back to her. She needed to try another approach. She needed to make a visit to a sorcerer, and there was only one who came to mind.

Stephen Strange had locked himself away in his sanctum as soon as he'd returned. He wasn't taking the Avengers calls, but she had no intention of calling or just showing up at his front door. He would help her even if she had to revert to Red Room training to force his hand. She wasn't above torturing a supposed ally, not if there was a chance she could get Steve back. Surely, there was something in his books that might give them a clue, and she was going to find it, whatever it takes.

Short first chapter but this is the set up. I will try to get a second chapter up soon. Chapter 2 will explain the direction a little better. Thanks for reading.