A/N: Here we are, back with the last installment of Growing Pains! :)

Title: Age 17, Dumb Drinking Decisions

Summary: Alcohol, Shadow clones, Crushes, and the Sexy no Jutsu. Four things that are best experienced separately. Boruto learned this the hard way.

We don't own Naruto/Boruto.

"KONOHAMARU NII-SAN! . .RU NII—"

The oh so familiar yelling, accompanied by loud banging on his front door, made Konohamaru raise an eyebrow. What did Boruto want now?

"Yeah yeah. I'm coming!" he addressed the door to interrupt the yelling—the neighbors always complained about incessant shouting at ungodly hours—and to let the impatient teenager know that he was on his way to let him in as he walked down the hallway. "What's all this commotion?"

Boruto, visibly vibrating with the effort to remind still on the patio as he waited for his slow as big bro to open the door, virtually bounced on the spot when Konohamaru finally showed up.

"I need your help to improve my Sexy no Jutsu!" He explained as he squeezed himself in between the doorframe and Konohamaru, heading towards the living room without even stopping to make sure Konohamaru followed.

"Eh?! You mastered that jutsu years ago!" Konohamaru replied. "Perfect bust to ass ratio. Seductive smile. Alluring poses." Ah, Boruto really was skilled. Konohamaru got emotional just thinking about it. He was so talented that it brought a tear to Konomaharu's eyes how well Boruto carried on his father's legacy. "You got it all down pat! Really. There's nothing more I can teach you, kore!"

"But, but! I have to make it better, ya know?" Boruto plonked himself down on the couch with a frustrated groan.

"Uh…why? Your sexy jutsu's fine, kore. So what's this really about?" Konohamaru prodded, coming down for his emotional interlude. Boruto seemed really upset about something, so Konohamaru'd have to pull himself together. Boruto storming in as if his butt was on fire demanding to improve on a jutsu he'd known since the academy seemed rather...odd. Something else must be up.

The kid squirmed at that. Yepp. Definitely hit a sore spot. "Come on. I'll make us some coffee, and you can tell me what's bothering you."

After a moment's hesitation, Boruto nodded, and Konohamaru left him to his wallowing. He had a feeling he would need some pretty strong coffee to deal with whatever what was plaguing Boruto this time.

.

.

.

"Okay, want to tell me now what this is really about?" Konohamaru asked as he took a seat.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Boruto took a sip, grimaced, and chucked some more sugar in, and then reached for the milk, pouring as much as his mug could hold.

"So I did the Sexy Jutsu in front of Grampa Iruka, just to mess with him, ya know? And Sarada got…like interested. And I mean. Come on!"

Coughing, Konohamaru covered his grin behind the coffee cup. Ouch. That could sting a bit. But why did he care so much If was just his teammate, Sarada? She had seen it many times over the years. Unless…

"So let me get this straight. You are pissed off because Sarada noticed you?" he asked with a raised brow and a twitch at the corner of his mouth. "Or because it wasn't really you?" He took a sip, eyebrow still raised.

"Uh? You know, because…" He groaned. "Aaah, I never knew she liked... Ugg. I knew she was popular among the guys, Kagura, Kawaki, ya know? But now I have to worry about the girls too? Not cool."

The Jonin coughed the coffee out and sputtered, struggling to breathe. Did he get that right? "Wh-what? Why girls?"

Boruto slumped over the table. "She's been spending so much time with Chocho and Sumire lately… you think she could be like… into them? They've always hung out since we were young, ya know?"

Didn't Sarada have a crush on Boruto when they were kids? Mitsuki was always saying how good they would look as a couple. This was… new news. As much as Konohamaru wanted to ask more questions, he decided to console his pesky little brother instead.

"It's not so bad, kore." He scratched the back of his neck. "Maybe she was just caught off guard. You haven't been pulling that jutsu around her a lot recently, right?"

Boruto, being the little shit he was, talked on as if his big brother didn't say a word. "She was staring at me!" He whined. "Like, the long hair, and the boobs, and the ass, and legs…She really zoned in on the boobs, ya know?" Comical tears streamed down his eyes as he rambled on.

Trying to salvage what salvage could be done—and stop the rambling before Boruto worked himself completely up in a tissy—Konohamaru gave him a pat on the shoulder. "Hey, look at it from the bright side. She looked at you. The female version, sure. But…uh. Still you. Right?"

Rapidly coming to the realization that going to Konohamaru nii-san had been a mistake, Boruto groaned. Slumping down further, now resting most of his upper body onto the table, he listlessly twirled the cup between his thumbs. He really should have known better than to come here. "Yeah. I guess so."

"Atta boy!" Konohamaru cheered. "That's the spirit! So… all you have to do now is just catch her attention again, kore..."

.

.

.

An incessant ringing of the doorbell woke him up, and in an instant, he was wide awake. Decades of dozing on missions make for a light sleeper.

Grabbing after the lamp at the nightstand in the dark, he heard someone calling out to him from the patio.

"KONOHAMACHU NII-SCCCCHHAN! . .U NII—"

What the?

Throwing a quick glance at the clock and stumbling out of bed, he let out a few colorful curses. 3—frickin—AM.

"What do you—"

He didn't get any further than that. The sight at the door stunning him into silence as a very drunk, completely plastered actually, Boruto literally threw himself in his arms.

"Big Brooooo," the kid whined and looked up at him with teary eyes. "Wha took you shooo long?"

Fantastic. Frickin fantastic.

Releasing himself from the grip of an overly clingy, and rather unsteady, Boruto, he resisted the urge to roll his eyes, sighing heavily. Grabbing Boruto by the shoulders and directing him into the living room, he gave him a 'gentle' nudge to sit. "I'll get you some water, looks like you need it. Wait here. Okay, kore?"

Waiting a moment to make sure his words sunk through the dim awareness of the teen, he did actually roll his eyes when he got an unsteady 'thumbs up' and a goofy grin in return.

.

.

.

Once he got Boruto at least somewhat vertically settled on the couch, Konohamaru's eyebrows rose when the kid slurredly explained how he had gotten himself into his current state.

Shaking his head, he swore himself to celibacy if this was what it meant to have kids of his own.

He had never been that bad, right?

Perhaps he needed to give an apology—or a few hundred—to Ebisu sensei and Auntie Kurenai the next time he ran into them...

"Here you go. Chug it and tell me what made you come up with the absolutely brilliant idea to have a drinking party with yourself."

Greedily grabbing the cup and gulping down its content, Boruto gave a high pitched whine. "It's Sarada," he wailed, drawing out the last syllable to the point of absurdity.

...Right. He should have guessed.

"Okay. So…did something happen?"

"Noooooo! That's the thing. Ya know?! Nothin's happening. Dunno what to say to her anymore. Like at all." He gave another loud sniffle. "I just stammer and blubber whenever she's looking, Ya know?"

Rubbing at the bridge of his nose to keep the budding migraine at bay, Konohamaru sighed. "So instead you decided to get hammered with no one but your clones, and failed to realize, or just didn't care? That when they dispatched, you would absorb their alcohol intake? Brilliant, buddy. Absolutely brilliant."

That earned him a sour glare. "Didn't care. Everybody out of town on missions, ya know?"

'Where did you even get the alcho—? Uh, nevermind. Don't think I'll wanna know..."

He really should, though. Know how more and more of the younger ninja were getting their hands on it... But for the sake of his migraine—he let it slide, for now.

With the teen returning to his wallowing state and the conversation petering out into awkward silence, he dropped the thought completely. Instead, he focused on the more pressing matter of the depressed teen on the couch. Knowing well that they wouldn't solve anything right now, he got up. Nodding for Boruto to follow, Konohamaru led him to the guestroom. Better to get Boruto to bed instead. Once there, he left Boruto on the side of the bed to grab a couple of essentials. Another glass of water, some PJs—guaranteed far too big on Boruto, but beggars can't be choosers—and after a moment's contemplation, a bucket…

.

.

.

Boruto woke up the next day to the curtains being pulled open and a bright beam of sunshine assaulting sore eyes and aggravating a pounding headache.

"Goooood morning. Rise and shine, sunshine!" A familiar— far too chirpy for the hour— voice rang out, and Boruto groaned.

"Big Bro. What are you doing?"

"Since someone had far too much to drink last night and kindly came to annoy me in the middle of the night. I have no choice but to return the favour. Time to get up. We're heading out for some food," Konohamaru explained before tossing him a pair of slacks and a plain t-shirt. "I'll have coffee ready in ten. I recommend a quick wash before then. You stink."

Still groggy from sleep and slightly nauseous as he tried to focus on the door frame and the tall figure leaning against it, it took a moment for the words to sink in. When they did, Boruto nodded and winced as the headache intensified with the small movement.

Clearly satisfied that his message had gone through, Konohamaru closed the door to let him get ready, and Boruto eyed at the pile of clothes in his lap. He took a tentative sniff of his current getup and shuddered. Yeah. He needed a bath. And possibly a hose down, a literal one. And getting these clothes burned.

He'd never drink again. Ever. Ugg.

Once the sorely needed wash and change of clothes were over and done with, he followed the smell of fresh coffee to the kitchen and was met by an impudently upbeat Konohamaru who whistled to himself and actually had the audacity to laugh when Boruto entered. Loudly.

"Heeeey, it's alive!" He greeted Boruto with, and if he hadn't been the harborer of the promise of food, then Boruto would have just turned heel and left.

Boruto didn't know if he should grumble, try to smile, or just brave through it because he knew he needed to get some food in him. Deciding for the latter, he sat on the chair and eagerly took the mug of coffee that Konohamaru set on the table for him. After a few gulps, he dared to look at Konohamaru, all smiles, and sunshine. He was enjoying this way too much.

Dropping his gaze and focusing on the steaming cup in his hands, Boruto prayed that Konohamaru was feeling merciful this morning.

"Soooo….Remember much?"

Clearly, his prayers had been in vain.

"...No. not much," he admitted, knowing well he would suffer for this, but ...food.

Calling out to all the gods he knew of, Boruto wished Konohamaru would stop there.

"Shall I refresh your memory?"

"...Please don't."

Undeterred—if anything Konohamaru's grin grew wider when he heard Boruto's plea—he happily began relaying last night's conversation. "Na, you know. I think you'll find it really interesting, kore," he laughed. "You see, you kept bringing out a very specific topic, over and over." Pausing for a moment, his grin took on an almost evil character. "You see, you chatted a lot about girls. One girl in particular. Or… now that I think about it. It was actually only one girl. The whole time. Sarada Uchiha."

The look of horror that flashed on Boruto's face was priceless. Well. It looked like there was more to his drunken ramblings now that he was thinking straight, and this was too good to pass up. Konohamaru gave him a sly smile and added, "Is there any particular reason why it was just her, Boruto? Or do I have to guess?"

Boruto dropped his head down on the table and groaned. What had he done to deserve this?

"Aw, come on buddy. It ain't that bad. So, you got a serious crush. Well, you've come to the right guy!"

Boruto's face twisted. He loved his Nii-san but from what he gathered after being with him for years when it came to girls... big bro Konohamaru was so uncool.

"...You said something about food?" He asked hopefully, still praying that he could divert Konohamaru's attention from the subject of girls.

The request brought the jounin out of his teasing streak and he stood. "Fine, fine. We can continue the chat there, kore."

.

.

.

When they rounded a familiar corner and Boruto realized where they were heading he blinked away a couple of treacherous tears of relief.

The Thunder Burger.

His big bro came through. He took him to his favorite place in his time of need.

So lifted by the sight was he, that he ran ahead. By the time Konohamaru had caught up, he had ordered his favorite for both of them. With extra everything, and an extra-large meal to go with it. That Konohamaru made a face of hesitation and slight disgust when the food arrived, he pretended not to see. He was promised this. And big bro could learn a thing or two about gourmet food. He was far too influenced by Boruto's old man when it came to gastronomic preference.

Seriously.

As soon as they took a seat, Konohamaru started hassling him again.

"So, what's your plan. You know, with your little problem?"

Boruto's burger, of which he had only taken a small bite so far, lost its taste.

"Ugg. I dunno. Girls are so… gaah. I have no idea, ya know?"

"Sure I do! You came to the right person!" Konohamaru grinned confidently.

Doubtful, Boruto threw him a raised brow. "Sure I did. Mr 'I'm married to my ninja way.'"

The glare he received in return made his day brighter. Payback for the horrible teasing from earlier.

"Oi," Konohamaru protested. "That was a long time ago! C'mon. Tell me what really bothers you and we'll see if we can fix it."

Groaningly, he resigned. It wasn't like it would hurt to tell him, right?

"I...uhhhg…I just don't know. Like—" he hesitated, trying to find the right words. "I think about her all the time lately. She's so pretty, and… like, hot. And I—" He slumped deeper into his chair. "She'd just laugh at me if she knew."

Aaahh, young love. How sweet. Teasing the poor boy would be a lot easier now that the cat was out of the bag, but looking at his downcast eyes, Konohamaru softened and decided to help bring some positive light to his circumstance.

"You know, Boruto, you two have known each other for a long time, and if you approach her with an open heart and talk to her about how you really feel, I'm sure she'll understand."

Boruto stopped his sulking for a moment and looked at him. That actually… made a lot of sense. "Really? You think she'll… like me back, too?"

A wide grin spread on Konohamaru's face. "Well, why not? Other than having a strong bond, you're a capable young man!"

His blue eyes went wide and filled up with stars, touched by the compliment. "Nii-san!"

"Yes, yes, but you can't just simply confess kore. You have to put in something extra, some flair," he wiggled his fingers around, for extra effect.

Sitting upright, Boruto paid attention, making sure to memorize this precious piece of wisdom his sensei was going to give him.

"Now, you have to set the tone…" Konohamaru started with a low, yet serious voice, "Somewhere romantic, like overlooking the city, or out in a field where you're all alone… and then—" he paused for dramatic effect, "it rains! And you stand there, drenched, then look into her eyes," His gaze was intense, piercing, yet laden with emotion. Surely, to demonstrate to Boruto how he should appear, "and tell her how you feel."

Boruto's blue eyes were wide, sparkling with awe and wonder, face slowly coming into a wide grin. "Woooow! I never thought I would say this but you are so co—"

They were disrupted when laughter filled the air, and two women entered the scene. "I sincerely hope you're telling him about a bad romance movie and not actual love advice."

"Auntie Hanabi?" Boruto looked at her and then at the girl with her.

Konohamaru's jaw slacked, and his cheeks burned. "Ha-Hanabi. Good morning!" He greeted a little too loud.

"H-Hima?" Boruto acknowledged who his auntie was with. Oh no. Oh shit. He can't let her know. Not his little sister!

"Nii-san, what're you talking about? Do you like someone?" She asked all sweet smiles and nothing but a pure and angelic look on her face.

Boruto gulped. He knew that look. "N-nothing! I don't have a crush on anyone. Hell no!"

"Don't deny it, Boruto," Konohamaru reprimanded. "Sarada would be upset if she heard you ever denied your love for her."

Boruto's spirit comically left his body. Dead. That's what he was. Dead.

"So this is love advice!" Hanabi giggled. "You're not going to have her take you seriously if you do it like that!"

Himawari joined in. "Yeah, it would be weird if you did… and being in the rain will get you sick, you know?"

"Huuuuuh?" Boruto somehow came back to life. "You mean none of that will work?"

Hanabi smiled softly at the two. "If you sat down and really told her, sincerely, how you feel, I think that's much better." She then turned to the Jounin. "Don't you think so, Konohamaru?"

Directly confronted with someone he had never thought would walk in on them, the poor man couldn't form a coherent sentence to answer her. Blushing and scrambling for words he stammered something unintelligible and looked at Boruto in desperation.

Boruto pursed his lips and gave Konohamaru an unimpressed look. "You almost had me there, ya know? For a second I thought you were messing with me, but you were serious, weren't you? You're even worse than me. I guess after all this time, you're still so uncool, Nii-san," Boruto sighed. "No wonder your Ninja way is still your only girlfriend."

A/N: We have reached the end of our Growing Pains installment! Funny how this is the last chapter, when this scene, Boruto talking to Konohamaru about girl problems, is what sparked the idea in the first place. We enjoyed writing about Mitsuki and Sarada and embarrassing Boruto as much as we could with all the puberty woes nearly all of us have experienced. hahaha!

Miriam and I would sincerely like to thank all of you for reading, faving, following, and reviewing this fic. We all enjoyed reading and knowing your thoughts about it!

Despite this being the last of Growing Pains, we already have a sequel, very early in the works. We think you'll like this one, fam. Still all about awkward and funny experiences our favorites experience, but this time, in the realm of dating.

Cheers for now!

All our love,

Kairi & Miriam