So as I was watching BNHA, the first ship I considered was Kacchako because, as I'd said at the time, 'her calm cheerfulness is a perfect contrast to his crazy explosiveness,' and then I saw this really cute art/comic and I just had to write for it. I got an idea of how to write for Bakugo and I thought it'd be fun and it was insanely fun.

The amazing artwork can be seen at twitter,com/dailykrumbs/status/1067636491659034624?s=21

Daily Krumbs has so much incredible artwork in general, please check them out!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Boku no Hero Academia.

Catch-22

- a paradoxical situation from which an individual cannot escape because of contradictory rules

. . .

Chapter 1.

Fucking hell.

After an exhausting day of training classes and boring-ass lectures, and then having to spend an evening with the rest of the nimrods in Class A, all Bakugo wants to do is crash into his fucking mattress and go the fuck to sleep.

But no. Just as he's trying to make plans to sneak away from the stupid useless chatter of the common area, he gets the signal.

Ochako is seated on the arm of one of the couches, laughing over Asui's shoulder at one thing or another with the rest of the girls. But some-fucking-how she still manages to catch Bakugo's eye and give him that look. That fucking look that means he's going to have to stay behind and wait until everyone else is gone just so he can figure out what the hell it is she wants.

So he shoves his hands into his pockets and slams his back against the wall, seething a silent but deadly aura that keeps even Kirishima away.

He growls and mutters as he watches the others clock out one by one. They waste time saying goodnight to everyone in the fucking room, and he nearly explodes.

It's driving him fucking nuts. He just wants to go the fuck to sleep. And it should've been fucking easy for him to do that-

But there's no way he can ignore her. God fucking forbid he made her upset. He can't even think about it. He'd probably kill himself in a self-inflicted explosion if he ever made her cry.

He has no idea when it all started, but it probably had something to do with their match back at the sports' festival. She'd clearly been at a major disadvantage in just about every way, but she'd still managed to figure out a method to go toe-to-toe with him and make for one of the longest and most exhilarating fights of the entire tournament.

She really hadn't been half bad. She'd even surprised him. He knew the majority of his classmates would've lasted a few seconds or minutes at best, but she'd lasted a hell of a lot longer than he or anyone else had expected. Only that bastard Todoroki and that damn Deku, and maybe even that asshole Kirishima would've been able to hold their own against him more than she did.

But ever since then, he'd just been so... annoyed whenever he was around her.

It was annoying to see her smile and hear her laugh and feel her happy bubbly aura.

It was so fucking annoying... because he didn't know what the fuck to do with himself.

All he can do now is spit and curse under his breath as he impatiently waits for the other morons to get the hell out.

He's almost about to blow when the last of the girls finally leave together, waving goodbye to Ochako.

With a snort and a grunt, Bakugo shoves off from the wall and clods over to the couch where she's still sitting with her legs dangling off the side. She's smiling, and it pisses him off, because he kind of likes it. But he can't let her know that.

"The hell do you want?" he growls. "I don't have time for your bullshit."

Ochako claps and nearly falls back over in laughter.

"Ahaha! Kacchan, you're so funny!"

"Don't fuckin' call me that!" He stomps a step closer in warning, but she just keeps laughing. He grabs her shoulder and yanks her upright again, making it seem like he did it because he's angry and not because he didn't want her to fall. He snarls down into her face. "I'm serious. Don't fuckin' call me that."

She finally gets ahold of herself and stops laughing, resting her cheek against his hand.

"Sorry. That's Deku's thing, right? You're so picky, Baku-chan."

He snorts again. He didn't even realize when she'd started to call him that, but it fucking pisses him off that he likes it.

"Shut the hell up." Fuck, she's so soft. How can she even be this fucking soft? "What the hell do you even want? I just wanna go the fuck to sleep."

She nuzzles her cheek against the back of his hand for a moment longer, still smiling. When she finally does straighten up again and look at him, he almost recoils. Her eyes are really fucking nice. He can't take it when she smiles at him like that. It does things to him. It annoys the hell out of him.

"Aww, don't be like that, Baku-chan!" She reaches out to hold onto both of his hands, pulling him closer again. "It's not much! Just a little request!"

"Then spit it out!" He wants to rip himself away, but not as strongly as he wants to stay right there feeling her hands around his, where he can smell that stupid fruity smell of her shampoo.

She gives her answer with a flip of her head, bowing it forward as her hair bounces over her shoulders. She makes her request.

"Ponytail!"

Bakugo feels like his soul has left his body.

"...Hah?"

"You heard me! Tie my hair up for me!"

Fucking hell. Fucking shit. How the fuck could she be serious? How the fuck could he be serious for even considering to actually do it? How the fuck could he be so fucking weak that he knows he's going to fucking do it anyway just because she asked?

He balls his hands into fists, but makes sure it doesn't prevent her from holding on. But the heat still comes out of his mouth.

"Uraraka..."

"Aw, Baku-chan, just call me Ochako!"

"Like hell..." he seethes, blood boiling. "Like hell I'd fuckin'-!"

But all it takes – all it fucking takes – is one glance at her eyes and one airy little smile. He cracks.

"-Like hell I'd fuckin' be able to do it like this! Turn your head, idiot!"

She laughs, and he hates it. He hates that he likes it, and he hates that he knows it means he lost. He's absolutely fucking lost. He's been losing to her ever since he won against her at the festival. That sole victory had been followed by nothing but loses on his part.

He snorts and grabs at her hair, not in a way that would pull on it or cause her any pain, but in a messy, frustrated way that ensures his fingers tangle themselves and make her look as stupid as possible. She just laughs more.

"Baku-chan, you're such a good guy."

"Shut the hell up! Give me a hair tie! How the fuck do you expect me to do this without a hair tie, idiot?!"

She tries to hold back the giggles as she lifts up her arm which has a band around it. Grunting, he pinches it and pulls it off her wrist, then bites down on it as he continues using both hands to gather her hair. She shakes her head a little, then throws it back with more laughter.

"Th-That tickles, Baku-chan!"

"Shut the hell up! Stop movin' around, for fuck's sake!"

"But it tickles!"

"Ch..."

He firmly slaps his hands onto either side of her head and turns her to face him directly. Then he pushes his forehead against hers with enough force to leave a mark. She stops giggling for half a second long enough to look up at him again. He glares back.

"Hold. The fuck. Still."

It probably would've scared anyone else shitless. But he only did it with her because he knew how she'd take it. And she takes it with another suppressed giggle and a tiny little nod.

Now that she's finally fucking still, Bakugo continues gathering as much of her hair as possible before tugging the tie out from between his teeth. He mutters all the while as he attempts to tie her hair.

"It's so fuckin' short anyway. Why the hell do you even need to tie it up...?"

When he's finally had enough and decides to be done with it, he moves away and pushes her back to inspect his work. Most of her hair is secured inside the tie, but it's lopsided and a ton of strands are already slipping out or never got tied in the first place.

But she's still grinning like an idiot, cheeks as pink as the spot on her forehead where he'd knocked against her.

She's a mess. A really fucking cute mess.

"Well?" she beams up at him. "How does it look?"

When he answers he realizes his jaw had been going slack for a second.

"Fuckin' ridiculous."

"Ahh, but it feels so nice~ Thanks, Baku-chan!" She claps, then attacks, straining up to press her stupidly soft lips against his cheek.

It's not fucking fair. He just stayed here all goddamn evening, worked his ass off tying up her stupid hair, and then she goes and ambushes him like that? Fuck.

And the worst part is when she pulls away, and the tingling warmth that lingers on his cheek begins to fade, he wants her to do it again.

He snorts, then reflexively goes to wipe his face to smear away the contact from another human being, and then needs to stop himself, so he just ends up jolting around like a fucking moron.

"What the hell ever! I'm fuckin' done! I'm not doing any more shit for you, idiot!"

"But I'm so tiiiired now! Carry me, Baku-chan!" She feigns exhaustion and lets herself fall off the arm of the couch.

It's reflexive. It's all reflexive. That's what he tells himself as he lunges to catch her before he can even consider anything else.

She's soft and light in his arms.

And it takes him a second to realize she's too light.

He howls again.

"Dumbass!" He drops her as she starts laughing again, but she doesn't fall to the floor. Instead she starts floating up into midair over his head.

"I'm sorry, Baku-chan! I just had to!"

"Shut the hell up!"

"You still caught me anyway!"

"I said shut up!"

She glides over to land in front of him, effectively blocking his path to exit. She claps her hands together and throws herself forward into a bow, her mess of hair coming even more undone in the process.

"I'm really sorry, Baku-chan!"

"Who cares? Don't fuckin' do that, you're gonna mess it up!"

"Huh? You mean my hair?"

He narrows his eyes.

"I worked my fuckin' ass off. You should be the one carrying me to bed."

But no sooner than the words had spilled out of his mouth does he realize what he's just done. She gets a twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh! Is that what you want, Baku-chan? Why didn't you say so!"

"W-Wait a fuckin' minute-!"

But she's too quick for him. All it takes is a single poke to his arm and the next thing he knows he's halfway to the ceiling. He twists around and tries to get back down, but his gravity is under her control now.

"Hey! Put me down!"

"You said you wanted me to carry you!"

"Like hell I did!"

"Are you sure?"

"Uraraka!"

"Fiiiiine." She releases him, and in an instant he feels all his weight come rushing back to him. He tries to angle himself to land on his feet, but it just doesn't happen, and instead he ends up on his back. Ochako stands over him with her soft trainwreck of a hairstyle and offers out her hand.

"Still want me to carry you? I totally can."

"Like hell..."

Anyone else. Had it been anyone else on the entire goddamn planet reaching out their hand to him, he would've smacked it clean off. But with her he just slaps his palm into hers and lets her hoist him up. Even when he's on his feet she doesn't let go, and he doesn't either.

"Sorry I made you miss out on some beauty sleep. Lemme walk you back to your room."

"Idiot. I don't need you to fuckin' walk me back..."

"But I want to~!"

"Fine! Do whatever the hell you want! I don't care!"

She bursts into giggles again and gives a tug to his hand. And as he watches her mess of hair bounce off, he mutters one last curse and follows.

They walk in silence to his room where she finally lets go of his hand. He almost pouts about it.

Until she launches her final attack of the night.

She floats up just those few inches he has on her and loops both arms around his neck. He doesn't even think as he braces an arm around the small of her back to support her, and maybe pull her a little bit closer. She leaves a kiss on his other cheek, then brushes their noses together before hopping back down to the floor.

"Thanks again, Baku-chan. Goodnight!"

And with that she whirls around and scampers off.

He watches her go, mouth open like a fucking idiot. His blood feels warm, but not in an explosive way. There's still a softness on his skin where she'd touched him, but it's fading and he wants it back. Fuck.

"Like hell I'll be able to sleep now..."

He kicks open his door and then slams it shut behind him, then crashes down onto his bed.

Even now when she's not even here, not even touching him, he can still feel that annoyingly soft warmth, and that weirdly pleasant weightlessness.

And it pisses him off. But he still likes it.

A/N: Record of how many times I've written "fuck" in one piece.

Of course I called it Catch 22 because Bakugo is being Bakugo but he also likes Ochako and doesn't know how to handle Feelings so to him it is an Impossible Situation.

I can't even describe how fun this was to write. Just the absolute insanity of writing Bakugo, but in a Soft(TM) way. He'll still be as brash and brazen and explosive as ever, but he'd never hurt her or make her upset. Their perfect contrast is what draws me to this ship, and I had an absolute blast writing this little thing.

I thank Daily Krumbs for their amazing art and the inspiration to create this!

Please review!