Lizzie's had so many moments of clarity these three months it's almost ridiculous how her life isn't at the climax scene of a Lifetime movie yet.

Moment of clarity #1:

Walking down the stairs and seeing Hope looking up at her like she had a halo hanging over her head.

Moment of clarity #2:

Kissing Hope in the girl's bathroom accidently. Feeling her heart run overtime for about a minute and then feeling it stop entirely.

Moment of clarity #3:

Watching Penelope and Josie in each other's arms after Prom. Realizing exactly how much damage she had wrought by just being completely blind, selfish and self-obsessed, and feeling a strange mixture of guilt and happiness. I want that, she'd thought, and on the heels of that thought had come another one, I don't deserve that. She'd looked at Hope smiling at the both of them, and promised herself that she'd stay away.

Moment of clarity #4:

Kissing Hope in a broom closet. The realization that she was pretty crap at staying away.

Moment of clarity #lost count:

Feeling Hope tremble and shudder in her arms, her skin shining in the moonlight, vulnerable, and glowing. Thinking You are so beautiful, feeling it on the tip of her tongue, and swallowing it down with kisses. Thinking Hope, Hope, Hope I love you so much. Thinking I'm sorry I couldn't stay away. Thinking This love is going to be the death of me.

"You're crying," she'd said, lying face-to-face with Hope.

"So are you," Hope had whispered back, ducking down to kiss at her chin, and Lizzie had blinked in surprise, wiping at her eyes "Why are you crying?"

She'd shrugged, feeling the sudden urge to press her face to Hope's chest and stay there forever. Then she had put her palm over Hope's eyes.

"Sleep," she'd said.

"Don't leave," the girl had mumbled, and she had just kissed her forehead in reply.

Leaving Hope is the hardest thing she's ever had to do.

Moment of clarity #lost count +1

"Where is she?"

"Lizzie, calm down," Landon told her, over the phone.

"Mophead, I'm only going to ask you once more. Where. Is. Hope."

"They rushed her to the hospital. Penelope will be picking both you and Josie up in five minutes."

Her heart refused to calm down, even after they had reached the hospital. She was pacing in the corridor, fiddling with her phone, tapping her right hand to the side of her thigh, and could feel Josie's eyes on her at all times, concerned and caring.

"Saltzman?" Penelope asked her, tentatively, handing her a cup of coffee "You want to maybe sit down?"

"I can't," she replied, tightly wound "This is all that is holding me together right now, Park, I can't, I can't, I can't relax, I'm going to….."

"I know," Penelope nodded, hands on her shoulders, glancing at Josie "I'd feel the same way."

Finally being allowed to see a sleeping Hope. Remembering the way she'd rushed over to her, grabbing her uninjured hand, and kissing it over and over again, murmuring things she was too embarrassed to repeat, not caring about who was watching. Only leaving when the doctor had come in to tell them that Hope was going to be waking up soon.

"Don't tell her I was here," she'd told them, right before she had left, and when all of them had looked up at her, completely in disbelief, continued "Please. I'm begging you."

"This is getting stupid, Lizzie," Josie argued "You love her and she loves you. I don't get what the big deal is, let us…."

"No, please, Josie, I love you, but please, as your sister, this is one thing I'm asking of you. Just, do me this favor. Don't."

And then she'd walked away. Turned out she was getting pretty good at that.

Alaric enters her room, about ten seconds after the song hits her ears.

She has been crashing in her bed right after she gets back from school since the past three days. Hope's doing a lot better, from what Josie tells her regularly (sometimes in the middle of making out with Penelope, sometimes in the middle of heated discussions with her over what is cuter, a dog in a wig, or a baby in a trash bag. Lizzie personally thinks the baby in a trash bag sounds cuter. She also thinks that Hope would argue it's the former, and hates herself for imagining how absolutely adorable Hope would look arguing her point). Today as well, she's just lying in bed fiddling with her fidget spinner when she hears the music.

Woke up in a pool of sweat, at first I thought that I pissed the bed

She frowns, and is just about to get up, when her father rushes in.

"Lizzie, why is Hope Mikaelson standing in front of our house, blasting some Godawful rock song in our yard?"

And I went down, like the speed of sound

You're out of sight, but not out of mind

Her first instinct is to freak because "How the fuck did they let her out of the hospital?"

"Language," he admonishes, then breaks into an excited grin "I approve, by the way. Nice girl. Amazing girl. In fact, may I just say…."

"Yes, yes, we know you love her, dad, the entire school knows," she mumbles, distractedly, walking over to the window, head in a whirl. She honestly has no idea what's happening right now. There are a lot of things going on.

I had a dream that I kissed your lips, and it felt, so true

She walks out onto the balcony to see the idiot, standing there with a walker, hand in a sling, head bandages not even out yet, holding up a boombox balanced precariously on top of the walker. Her friends are all squeezed in Penelope's car, watching from a distance.

Then I woke up as a nervous wreck, and I fell for you

"Hey, Lizzie," Hope calls out, smiling at her, and she. Well. She kind of melts into a puddle in her own balcony.

"Are you pulling a Say Anything on me?" she asks, because she doesn't know what to say. Actually, scratch that. She knows exactly what to say. Just doesn't trust herself right now.

I'll spend the night living in denial, making paper planes just for a while

I'll crash into you, crash into you, if you crash in my imagination too

"I took some time deciding between Green Day and Baby Shark, but I feel like this was the better option," Hope replies, still smiling that goddamn smile of hers.

She can't help it, she smiles back. And that's the moment she knows she's lost.

"I'm going to come downstairs, okay?" she says.

"I'll wait," Hope promises her, solemnly.

"Do you want to sit down?" she asks Hope, who's showing signs of weariness.

"No."

"Please?"

The speed with which Hope nods her yes has her smiling once more, as she gently takes her hands and helps her sit on the grass. Touching her after so long feels like a drug, and Lizzie is afraid she might never let go. Hope solves the problem for her by intertwining their fingers, and Lizzie can't stop smiling.

"I take it the grand gesture wasn't completely unwelcome?" Hope asks her, suddenly shy.

"It wasn't."

"Good," she clears her throat once, twice "Because, you know I'm all about not creeping people out by going too big or whatever…."

"Hope, it's okay. I," she starts, and then fumbles because there are so many things to say, so many things to apologize for "I, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. God, if you knew how shitty I feel…"

Hope waits it out, looking at her patiently.

"I'm pretty sure I've spent half of my life being ridiculously in love with you," Lizzie continues "I mean, how could I not? You're…you're Hope. You're beautiful, and you're badass, and you make the cutest face when you see a dog, and you go aw at stupid things and you do this thing to my heart where it goes kaboom every time you so much as smile at me, and. Yeah, you're the best person in the entire world, almost up there with Josie. And I'm…..me. I'm selfish, vapid, self-obsessed. In what world could you justifiably like me back?"

Hope raises their hands to kiss the back of Lizzie's once, twice, thrice, then speaks "The first time I ever felt scared of anyone, it was Freshman year, just before Spring Break, and you'd kicked a jock in the nads because he kept calling Josie "The uglier Twin". I mean, it was right before Penelope fucked up his life by planting that itching powder in his shorts, but I've never felt more scared of anyone in my life. Turned on, too."

She looks up, surprised Hope remembers this, but the girl continues.

"And later when I finally got the courage to say to hi when I saw you bunking class on the rooftops, you offered me your right earphone and we sat in silence for an hour listening to Taylor Swift. The next day, we listened to Green Day, After that, Haken. Next week, we were talking about whether weed was a better high than Whiskey. You thought it was whiskey. I disagreed. I thought it was you. I've always thought you were the biggest high of them all."

"Hope," she cuts in, her voice shaking "I'm not good for you. I'm an asshole. For fuck's sake, you know how I used to treat Josie before, you know how judgmental I am, how stupidly opinionated, and I'm a bitch and I cut people down and….."

"I love you."

"Hope."

"I love you," Hope goes on, steadily "I love you. I love that you're a bitch. I like that you're judgmental, your first opinions on people make me laugh. And your opinions on most things are hilarious, so that's not really a problem for me."

"I'm going to hurt you," she says, and it's all she has left.

"This is hurting me," Hope replies, and she hears the vulnerability in her voice "This is already hurting both of us. Staying away from each other doesn't help. I can't stay away. I can't bear not being with you, okay? You're the best thing that could've happened to me, in spite of what you think about yourself. I love you, bitchiness and all. I just…..I just want you. That's all I've ever wanted. I don't even care what we call it. I just want to be yours. Because I already am."

A tear escapes, in spite of her best attempts to stop it, and she leans forward to rest her forehead against Hope's, all the fight rushing out of her in one tiny whoosh. She's too tired to fight herself anymore, too tired to stay away.

"I'm yours," she says, softly, and feels more than sees Hope smile, bright and wide. Hope reaches up to kiss her forehead, then kisses both her cheeks, and ends up with their mouths nearly touching.

"Is it okay if I…."

She doesn't let Hope finish. Lizzie presses her lips to hers, and feels lights bursting behind her eyelids, feel the odd mixture of relief, and joy Hope's presence has always brought her, feels her heart going kaboom in her chest, feels the butterflies dancing the tango in her stomach. She kisses her, and like a drug, never wants this to stop. She wants to kiss her, and keep kissing her until the end of time, even with all her friends hooting loudly and honking the car horn repeatedly.

"We've got idiots for friends," Hope says after they draw apart to take a breath.

She shrugs "I'm too happy to care right now."

The girl of her dreams smiles at her, and yeah, this is the Lifetime ending she's been waiting for her entire life.