A/N: Hey! This random plot bunny plagued me for hours last night and I decided to write it down. I hope you like it! I don't think anything like it has been written before...but I could be wrong...there are so many fanfics out there.
Summary: In which Ichigo is born with the one thing Aizen longs for – Immortality.
'Yes, flinging himself into the river beneath Karakura Bridge had been a tad extreme but not even Rukia could tell him he was wrong when she saw his body bend into an impossible shape upon impact with the water surface and seeing him emerge form the river not ten minutes later.'
Warnings: Mention of Suicide/ actual Suicide. Slight OOC Ichigo.
The first time it happened Ichigo saw his mother die.
They had been walking back from his Kendo training. He had been talking to his mother excitedly, face turned towards the riverbank. That's when he had seen her - a little girl, not much older than him. Her hair was black, and she was staring out into the river, seemingly unbothered by the heavy rain soaking her clothes. She had been standing besides the riverbank. So close to it that she could slip and fall at any moment.
Without thinking he had already made a dash for the girl, concern and the urge to protect too deeply ingrained thanks to him having two little sisters.
The next moment he only felt pain.
He stared down at his body, disbelieve filling his eyes.
A long claw imbedded into his chest, blood was flowing onto the ground and mixing with the mud and rain at his feet. A distant scream reached his ears as he felt warm liquid run out of his mouth.
Then.
Nothing.
He was floating in darkness.
It was comforting. It was warm.
He felt protected. He didn't wish to wake. He never wanted to leave. There was a deep tiredness dragging at him, making him want to curl into the ball and let the darkness swallow him hole.
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He was startled out of the darkness suddenly, without any warning or call.
He could feel rain hitting his face, something heavy was weighing down on his chest.
Carefully he cracked his eyes open.
His mother.
She was laying on top of him, her auburn hair covering her face – but he did not need to see her eyes to know she was dead. He lifted his arms, grabbing at her shirt – hoping against hope that she would get up and smile at him once more.
Yet nothing. His fingers trembled as he lifted them towards his face only to see them covered in crimson. Tears burned at the edges of his eyes as he shook his mother once more – calling out to her.
She never answered him again.
It was only much later, after he had been found and brought back home. After his father had clutched him close and Ichigo had felt his tears soaking into his neck, that he thought back on what had happened to him.
The claw that had pierced his chest. The pain had felt real – tangible. The feeling of floating and darkness – it had all seemed so real.
Could it have been shock? He remembered some of the doctors and his father talking about it. But was that something shock could do? Give him the impression that he had been hurt?
No…that he had…died?
.
.
.
The second time it happened he never saw it coming.
He was 14 and walking back from school. The day was humid, and the sun was glaring down on him mercilessly.
There were very few people outside, and if they were they seemed to hurry to reach their homes and destinations as quickly as possible to escape the scorching heat. Ichigo had reached out with his hand to lift his shirt and get some much-needed cooling.
He hadn't watched as he crossed the street. The blaring of the horn was the last thing reaching his ears before he knew no more.
There was darkness again. It seemed familiar. Almost welcoming. It was comfortable.
It was warm. It felt like his mother had – safe and kind.
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Again, he was startled out of it without any cause or reason. He sat up with a startled gasp. He was lying in the middle of the street a man was kneeling next to him and gaping.
"Oi!" The man said, seemingly getting over his shock. "A-are you okay?"
Ichigo nodded mutely. He got up and looked around, his bag had landed a few steps away. Without another word he picked it up and turned to leave.
"W-wait a second!" He heard the man call behind him.
Ichigo didn't even throw him another glance. He did feel slightly bad as he thought about the possible trouble the man could encounter with his insurance company, be he simply had bigger things to worry about.
Mainly the fact that besides his abilities to see ghosts he also seemed to be…unable to die.
.
.
.
He considered his…predicament for many days. Weeks. Months even.
Whether to test his theory or not. If he tested it and he turned out to have been wrong…he would be dead. If he was right…well that opened a whole different array of problems and questions. He could communicate with ghosts, yet no matter how many of them he talked to, none of them seemed to be able to tell him what happened to them after they died. None of them knew where the ghosts he never saw again went to. Which was…problematic. If death turned out to be final after a short time of the soul remaining in the living world – Ichigo had no desire to end himself that fast.
With a loud thud he let his head collide with his bedroom window.
It was another impossibly hot day outside. Yet he was holed up in his room wondering if he could have accidentally become immortal…No that wasn't quite right. He had to have been born with the trait…if his assumption was correct that is.
Nothing could ever be normal for him, could it?
He wouldn't know the understatement of this question until Rukia Kuchiki quite literally invaded his life.
.
.
.
The third time it happened he did it on purpose.
He had talked to a quite big number of ghosts in his life, so it wasn't as if he was particularly scared of death. Yet he had never really known what would come afterwards. What truly happened to those ghosts he never saw again.
That changed on the day he met Rukia.
Armed with the knowledge that death would send him to another realm; without his memories but with him still fully functioning as far as he was concerned.
He chose a day on which he knew his father was away on an errant and his sisters were both staying with their friends. He hadn't truly planned on doing it. Hadn't woken up that day with the knowledge that he would try to take his own life.
Yet he found himself sitting at his table and writing a letter to his sisters. After all one could never be too sure. He placed it on his bed, next to the blanket his mother had made when she had still been alive and went down into the kitchen.
With a rather nervous breath he opened the drawer containing their knifes and took the biggest and sharpest out. He gently placed it onto the kitchen counter. He then turned and walked into the clinic adjourning their home. With sure steps he made his way towards the medicine cabinet and pulled out a bottle of sleeping pills. Giving it a little shake, he was satisfied to see that the entire thing seemed to be full and almost untouched.
He wandered back into their home, grabbing the knife and trudged up the stairs slowly.
The bathroom would be the sensible option. It wouldn't stain the floor too bad hopefully and would be easier to clean. Whether he would have to be the one to clean up his mess or somebody else was not something Ichigo wished to dwell on for too long.
He stepped into their small bathroom. Looking around he quickly settled onto the bathtub. He took one of the glasses placed on the window still and filled it with tap water before climbing into the bathtub. He reached for the medication first, unscrewing the lid he took a handful out and put them into his mouth without further ado. He quickly reached for the water and washed them down in one go. He had no idea how many that had been. A glance back at the bottle told him that he had taken about half of them. His heart was thundering in his chest even as the pills worked to pull him under. He suppressed the slight tremble in his hands as he reached for the knife, balancing on the edge of the bathtub.
"Come on." He whispered to himself as he placed it against his wrists.
He took another sharking breath before gritting his teeth and pushing downwards.
The knife slid into his wrist, diagonally slicing his veins open. Blood spurted out and instantly covered his clothes and the white tiles around him with red. Gritting his teeth against the pain Ichigo forced his damaged arm to grab onto the hilt and slice into his other wrist too.
The pain was pretty bad. A dull burning that seemed to spread from his wrists into his entire body. He didn't have to endure the pain for long as he felt the edges of his vision begin to blur. The pills really seemed to be doing their job.
Not long after he found himself once again floating in darkness. Hadn't he been as comfortable was he was he would have either jumped for joy or let out a string of curses. This was the same as the previous times. Which meant it would be long until he-
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Ichigo sat up in the bathtub, breathing hard. The blood around him still looked fresh but there were no wounds on his wrists. It was as if he had never even set the knife to his skin, not even the slightest of scar was left behind.
Ichigo swallowed hard. He didn't even want to think about the implications of his discovery. Maybe Rukia could tell him…being a Shinigami and significantly older than him, maybe she had experienced something similar before.
But first of all, he had to clean the bath before his family came back home. Ichigo pulled a face as he looked at the amount of blood surrounding him. The bathroom had definitely been the right choice it seemed.
.
.
.
Asking Rukia whether humans could be immortal had definitely not been the right thing to do, Ichigo though as Rukia dragged him through the streets by his wrist.
Her face at first had been hilarious. She had looked at him as if he was crazy before laughing him off, telling him such a thing was impossible even for a Shinigami. They could become old, centuries old even but no being could ever be immortal.
It had filled Ichigo with a rather disturbing amount of anger. The casual dismissal Rukia had bestowed upon him.
His next action hadn't been his most rational one.
Yes, flinging himself into the river beneath Karakura Bridge had been a tad extreme but not even Rukia could tell him he was wrong when she saw his body bend into an impossible shape upon impact with the water surface and seeing him emerge form the river not 10 minutes later.
Which led him to this situation. Dripping from head to toe and being dragged through the streets by a confused but very determined Shinigami.
They arrived at the shop of Hat'n'Clogs much faster than Ichigo would have liked. Rukia didn't even bother knocking as she flung the door open and marched inside, Ichigos wrist still held in a deadlock.
"Welcome~!" Hat'n'Clogs greeted, his hat pulled deep into his face and lower half covered by his paper fan. "How may I be of help today?"
"He can't die."
Apparently not all Shinigami were capable of subtleties.
To Uraharas credit he only lowered his fan slightly and blinked at Rukia a could of times before his usual smile slid into place and his fan went back to its original place.
"Can't die you say?" He inquired softly. "How about you step inside and tell me the entire story?" He offered, before getting up and leading the way deeper into the house.
They settled into a traditional sitting room, a cup of steaming tea in front of all three of them.
"Now." Urahara said, folding the fan and making it vanish up his sleeves. "Why do you think Kurosaki-kun can't die, Kuchiki-san?"
"He jumped off a bridge." She told him, arms flailing as she spoke and incredulity high in her voice. Uraharas eyes slid from her to Ichigo and he raised his eyebrows.
"She didn't believe me when I told her." Ichigo defended, shrugging at Kisuke helplessly.
"I…see." Urahara said slowly. "Would you mind demonstrating this to me too…You see such a claim is rather…unbelievable I must say…" He trailed off.
Ichigo sighed. It's not like the request came unexpected.
"Sure. Just get me something sharp, or a gun or something. I don't really care." He said.
Kisuke blinked at him a couple of times before beckoning him to follow.
He led them even further into the house, until they reached a trapdoor in the ground. He yanked it open with a flourish and gestured for Ichigo and Rukia to climb in. Ichigo turned as he slowly descended the ladder and couldn't help but be slightly awed at the size of the place which was lying underneath the unsuspecting shopfront.
They reached the ground and Kisuke reached into his Hakama, pulling out a dagger with a way too bright grin and handing it to Ichigo.
Ichigo took the dagger and considered it for a moment. He could slit his wrists, but that meant he would be bleeding out rather slowly, also it hurt like a bitch. Ichigo shook his head at himself. It had hurt every single time he had done it so far, so it wasn't like the pain was unexpected by this point. He'd just rather get this over and done with.
He grabbed the dagger with both hands quickly and positioned it towards his chest. With another deep breath and before Rukias surprised exclamation could stop him he plunged it into his heart. A cough left his lips as he fell to his knees and then to the ground.
It hurt. It hurt a lot.
But…the darkness was already drawing him closer.
Home. Safe. Comfort. Mother. Warm.
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Ichigo sat up, the dagger clattered to the ground next to him. Kisuke was staring at him. Rukia was kneeling next to him.
"See?" He asked.
.
.
.
Not even Hat'n'Clogs had been able to figure it out. He had taken some of Ichigos blood and told him he would try to see if it could be tied to that, but he truly had never seen anything quite like Ichigos 'ability' before.
Ichigo was grumbling quietly under his breath as he made his way towards his room. Telling Rukia hadn't helped him at all.
"Tch." He kicked his door open unceremoniously.
"Ichigooo!" Kon yelled, far too enthusiastically for Ichigos liking. "Nee-san left a letter Ichigo! She tied me to the toilet and left he there! Ohhhh the things I've seen!" The stuffed toy cried out, clutching Rukias letter as he yelled.
"A letter?" Ichigo asked. He plucked it out of Kons arms and quickly scanned it.
Gibberish.
He pulled a face.
"It's written in code! Look!" Kon supplied pointing towards the abmysal drawings added to towards the end of the 'letter'.
Ichigo mulled over the letter for a while, trying to distinguish what animals Rukia had intended to draw.
"She left…?" He asked in disbelieve.
Kons indignant scream didn't fully reach his ears as he grabbed him and stuffed his hand down his throat, fishing for the pill which would allow him to leave his body. He popped it into his mouth quickly and left Kon standing as he dashed out of the window.
"Ichigo!" The faint yell in his own voice followed him.
.
.
.
"Do not worry." Byakuya Kuchiki's cold voice spoke to Rukia. "I have not killed him, only injured him. He will not be able to use his Shinigami powers ever again. Come now, Rukia. We must return."
Ichigo could only watch as Rukia cast one last, sorrowful glance back at him before turning and following her brother, that infuriation red-head at her side.
A curse left his lips as he spat out some blood, he couldn't move. His head and body were becoming heavier.
"Oh dear~!" A familiar voice called out from above him. "Do you need a hand, Kurosaki-kun?" Urahara Kisuke asked, a small smile gracing his features.
"Kill…me…" Ichigo bit out.
The smile on Uraharas face grew as he lifted his cane. "Your wish is my command~!"
Darkness. Warm. Comfort. Home. Safe. Stay.
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Ichigo sat up slowly and pulled a face. He hadn't even realized that he still was a Shinigami. A soul. And Kisuke had just killed him. 'Killed' him. Yet he was sitting up again.
Hat'n'Clogs was still standing next to him, twirling his cane nonchalantly.
"Now, Kurosaki-kun. Would you like some training?" Kisuke asked, turning towards him and pulling his hat deeper into his face with one hand.
Ichigo slowly got up from the ground and dusted himself off.
"Yes!" He said, determination gleaming in his eyes as he stared at the empty air, Rukia had vanished into.
The smile that crossed Kisukes face at his answer should have been warning enough.