'Matthew Williams: Prank Caller Extraordinaire'

By Forever Prosperous

Summary: Tired of getting mistaken for America, Canada found a way to get back at the offending nations in the form of prank calling.

Note 1: I don't own this anime.

Note 2: THIS STORY WILL HAVE MASSIVE SWEARING/STEREOTYPING! IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT!

Note 3: Please please read the Author's note at the bottom when you're done!

Canada and France just stared at each other, with the former biting his lip trying to explain what just happened, and the latter just looking at him in shock.

Eventually, Canada spoke. "Uh, I-It's not what you think, Francis..." He then trailed off.

'Who am I kidding?' Canada thought to himself.

"Matthieu," France started in a cautious tone. Just then, a door opened to his right, and Norway exited, heading towards the elevators. Canada decided to invite France into his room, so there weren't any eavesdroppers.

"Matthieu," France began once more. "Are you the one that sent those phone calls to Angleterre?"

Canada sighed. Might as well face the music, he thought to himself. "Y-yes. I was just mad at him for confusing-"

"Confusing you for your brother?" France finished. Canada nodded.

For a few moments, silence reigned. Canada was afraid of what was going to happen next.

Then, a smile grew on France, and his shoulders started to shake. Canada then realized that France was trying to hold back laughter.

Canada then let out a relieved laugh. Upon hearing that, France started laughing harder. Gradually, both were laughing hysterically. Kumajiro looked on in confusion for a moment, before shaking his head and trying to go back to sleep.

"Oh, Matthieu, you devious bastard," the Frenchman breathed out. "When did this start?"

"Well, it started on the first day of the conference. I just got fed up of letting myself get harassed for America's wrongdoings for the past few decades," Canada replied.

"How did you get the idea to send prank calls to him?"

"I overheard someone in a park yell at somebody who tried to do it to the person at the park."

"I see. And it appears to me that Suisse was your next target, non?" France inquired. Canada nodded his head.

"How much did you hear when I made the call to Switzerland, Francis?"

"When you scolded him on his temper," France replied.

Canada giggled upon being told that that was what he overheard.

"Well, are there any other nations on this list?"

"Just Germany," Canada answered. "He should be easier to do."

France nodded in agreement. "Well, there is this French restaurant that's on the other side of the city. I made a reservation for four. I invited Seychelles and Monaco, too. That's not a problem, is it?"

"No, cela me convient," Canada answered in French. France grinned at how he replied in French.

"I told them to meet here in a couple of minutes, and then we'll all go together." Canada nodded his head.

"So, what else did Suisse say to you, mon ami?"

"Well," Canada started, "Since he thought I was America, he yelled at me for starting the brawl in the meeting room and that something- I think a pen, I don't know- hit Liechtenstein. He then yelled at me about America's chocolate brands and how they'll never be as good as his."

France rolled his eyes. "He needs a lot of help," France began. "I would absolutely ask Germany to vote for a resolution on Suisse getting anger management."

Canada chuckled at that comment. Just then, the door knocked. Canada opened the door.

"Matthieu! It's so good to see you!" Seychelles greeted before enveloping him in a warm hug and giving him a kiss on both cheeks. She then entered the room. Canada bent down and gave Monaco a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Bonjour, Monique," Canada greeted politely.

Monaco gave a small smile. "Hello, Matthieu. I hope you have been enjoying your stay here as much as I am?"

"Yes, it's been fine," Canada responded.

Monaco nodded. "Today's meeting was... Something," Monaco noted.

"Yes!" Exclaimed Seychelles in agreement. "I found it hilarious when that person made fun of England's teeth again!" Seychelles dissolved into giggles while Monaco smiled.

"I wonder who will be targeted next?" the island nation continued.

"Me too," Canada said, managing to hide his smirk with ease.

"What have you been doing for the past few days, Matthieu?" Monaco asked.

"Eh bien, I spent yesterday doing nothing."

'Aside from calling England,' he thought in his head.

"Then, today, I was mistaken for America by Germany and Switzerland," he continued, noting how Seychelles grimaced and Monaco gave him a sympathetic look. "And during the break, I had lunch with Belgium and the Netherlands."

'And just half an hour ago, I messed with Switzerland,' He thought to himself.

"I'm sorry to hear about Germany and Switzerland confusing you for your brother," Monaco said. "If it makes you feel any better, you're not the only one who has faced the wrath of either of those two."

"It's frustrating when they don't realize it," Canada grumbled.

"Yes," agreed France. "Well, let's make our way over to this restaurant."

It was a 20-minute walk to the restaurant.

Unsurprisingly, it was a French restaurant. Judging by the decor, it was clear that it had a Southern French theme, which meant the food was Southern French cuisine, which was a favorite amongst the four nations.

The dinner went well, with all of the food being very delicious.

After dropping off Monaco and Seychelles, France walked back with Canada to his room.

"Well, Matthieu, I'm thrilled we got to spend some time together. I always have a fun time with you. I hope we can do this again sometime later this week. Bon Nuit!" And with that, France strolled away.

Canada waved back towards France and entered his own room, feeling exhausted.

He falls asleep, still struggling to think of what to say to Germany in his prank call.

The next morning, Switzerland wakes up to the sound of knocking. He checks his clock and notes that it is a quarter to eight in the morning.

'Who on earth could it be?' Switzerland thought to himself. 'I hope it's not Greece and Turkey asking for my help to settle another conflict...'

He opened the door and saw no one was standing there, making him angry.

'It's probably fucking Prussia being annoying,' he thought to

He was just about to close the door when he saw a letter covering a box. He opened the letter -Which happened to be typed out- and what it said made him go insane.

'I overheard you telling that foolish American that your chocolate is superior to his. Unfortunately, a cheap nation is not worthy of chocolate rich in taste and texture. So, enjoy these cheap American chocolates. :)'

Switzerland growled, picked up the box and threw onto the floor of his room, slammed his door shut, and jumped up and down on the package of cheap chocolates.

'Whoever did this has signed their fucking death warrant,' he thought to himself.

A couple of minutes later, England also received a knock on his door. He got up, wondering who it could be that was knocking on his door.

He saw that it was nobody. His eyebrows furrowed in irritation he then looked down, and nearly had an aneurysm.

Laying on the floor was a roll of toothpaste and a bottle of mouthwash, and another typed letter. England picked it up and read it. The message did not quell his sour mood at all; rather, it made it worse.

'Whoever made those remarks about your teeth is not wrong. I past by a pharmacy and noticed they were having a sale on these items, and I thought of you. Hopefully, these top quality items will come in good use! :)'

England picked up the items, slammed the door, and collapsed onto his bed and screamed into a pillow.

"THIS IS GETTING OLD!" England screamed to the nations.

He then flung the dental care products onto the table. Upon seeing these, many nations burst into laughter.

Canada stood there, perplexed.

'Who could've done this?' He thought. He scanned the room, and his eyes widened when he saw France give him a knowing smirk and wink.

Canada burst into laughter.

He then got out his phone and texted France.

'Well played, Francis! I thought you were terrified of England's anger?'

'That's not all, mon cher! ;) And no! How could you ever assume something like that?'

Before he could ask France what he meant by that and tell him that he's in denial about being afraid of an angry England, the doors flung open and revealed a red-faced Switzerland, who looked like he was going to blow up like the Hindenburg.

He then showed the nations the chocolates and the letter.

He read the letter in a calm tone. Then when finished, he finally lost it.

"WHO FUCKING SENT THIS TO ME?!"

Once more nations burst into laughter. Canada looked at France, who gave him another wink.

Canada just looked at him disbelievingly.

'He has balls of steel to do this... The guy is terrified of this nation!'

"WHOEVER IS DOING THIS, I AM NOT CHEAP! NOR DO I HAVE A BAD TEMPER! ALSO, SOMEONE SENT ME AN OBNOXIOUS PHONE CALL!"

More laughter ensued over this outburst.

Germany's eyes rolled. He looked down at his agenda that outlined what resolutions will be voted on and what will be debated this meeting. He saw something that made him pale.

'Mein Gott... This is going to end badly...'

"Everyone!" Germany's voice boomed out loud to get everyone to calm down.

We are starting off with our first resolution to vote on," he began with a tone that was filled with dread. "All in favor of recommending that Switzerland seek out anger management therapy, raise your hand."

No one laughed at this resolution.

Well, more like everyone struggled to hold back their reaction to this resolution.

Switzerland's face turned an even deeper shade of red at this resolution. He glared at every nation, daring them to raise their hand.

"Oh, I just saw this scribbled on the sheet," Germany said. "It reads, "It is only a prank, do not take seriously.'"

Switzerland decided it wasn't worth going insane over and flopped into his seat. Unfortunately, he missed the chair and fell onto the ground.

That was what set everyone off (even Liechtenstein) to start laughing.

After picking himself up and patting out any wrinkles on his pants, Switzerland walked to Germany.

"Give me the fucking resolution, Germany," he demanded. Germany complied and watched as the short and grumpy nation tear it up and throw it in the garbage can.

"Why didn't you throw it out?" America asked him, knowing full well that he was winding up the Swiss even more. "Aren't you Swiss supposed to be like, super eco-fascist?"

Before Switzerland could react, Hungary hit him and America on the head with her pan in order to maintain the peace.

"Francis, you could've gotten in so much trouble!" Matthew exclaimed during their break. The break was an impromptu one since the meeting had gone by smoothly.

"Oh, mon ami, why do you think I typed out my letters?" Francis replied.

"How long did it take for you to get over your fear of computers?" Canada joked. France rolled his eyes.

"Mon dieu, you really have it out for everyone," Francis remarked.

Canada chuckled. "Anyway, I am struggling to think of stuff to say to Germany, aside from being too uptight," Canada sighed.

"Is it even worth trying to do it to him? In comparison to the other two you have done, he is the more methodical and will try and get to the bottom of this," France said.

"That's true," Canada acknowledged.

"But, I did hear about this interesting website..."

"Prank call dot com, eh?" Canada said to himself as he checked out the website.

Francis had told him that this website had soundboards of various fictional/real-life people that you can send to the people.

Another feature that attracted Canada's attention was this "Operator Prank." How it works is that one types in 2 phone numbers. One example is that one could call two people that hate one another. Their phones would call each other, so Person A would think Person B was calling them, and vice versa.

Canada wasn't sure which one to chose (he did make sure to favorite the website for future use). He then saw something that gave him a grin. It reminded him of some gossip France had told him ages ago via Italy. He got his phone out and dialed in Germany's phone number.

He then waited for the call to go through.

The sound of his phone ringing alerted Germany that someone was calling him. He was in the middle of a work conference call with his boss and her advisors. He got up and answered the phone.

"Ludwig Beilschmidt speaking."

"Hi~ This is Joey from Toys 'N Us!"

Germany frowned at the innuendo and blushed upon seeing the inquisitive looks the people on the other end were giving him.

"I am just calling to confirm that order you made on the 21st, yes?"

"What order-"

"Herr Beilschmidt? Is now not a good a time to-"

"Nein, nein! It's fine!" Germany exclaimed in a flustered manner.

"You don't remember? You ordered a giant blowup naked doll," the prank call continued.

Germany spluttered at the recording, oblivious to the looks of disgust he was receiving from his boss and advisors.

"I did order such an item! Please cancel the order!"

"It'll be arriving at your address at 3:30 tomorrow afternoon. Goodbye!"

Just before Ludwig could say anything, he got interrupted by the recording once again.

"Haha~ You've just been pranked by Prank Calls dot com!" His eyebrow twitch in subtle anger at the revelation.

"Herr Beilschmidt, we will end this call for the time being. It appears you have other... matters you need to take care of," His boss said. "Goodbye."

And with that, she hung up.

Germany glowered at his phone. How in the world did someone find out about his... interest?

That's when he realized who could possibly have told him the info.

"ITALY!" He screamed angrily.

"AH! I'm sorry, Germany! Please, PLEASE let me go!" Italy wailed.

"Not until you tell me who you told recently!" Germany shouted.

"Ve~ I don't remember! Honest! Please let me go! I don't want to die!"

Germany just sighed.

'I will get to the bottom of this,' Germany thought to himself, before shaking his head. He was getting so worked up over a prank call. 'Perhaps it might've been my idiot brother trying to mess with me...'

He decided to just let Italy go, and as well as let go of the somewhat vulgar phone call (Though he will bring this up before the meeting).

You're probably asking where the heck have I been, eh?

Three things: My job, University, and figuring out a dialogue for Germany's prank call.

It was pretty difficult for me, though I get the feeling that it shouldn't have been difficult. Anyway, I decided to go this route because I hated leaving you on a cliffhanger for so long.

I also apologize for giving you a somewhat horrible chapter.

It's been stressful these past few weeks. But I'm trying to get the hang of it.

Anyway, I'm doing a new poll on who should be Canada's next victim. It's anonymous and it runs until October 12/13th. Please vote!