Disclaimer: Love Hina isn't mine. I do not own any of the authors here other than Kana Himezaki. They are, however, all used with permission. Well…almost.

The Love Hina Fanboy War

Part 1

…

"YOU…STUPID…BAKA!!!"

The punch connected almost magically, sending the man in dark pink robes through several wooden walls and crashing into a small, zen style pool in the middle of a rock garden. The passing guards, with two long spears perched on their backs that looked like antennae when seen from the front, looked at the poor man who was slowly getting out of the water and laughed like crazy. The over-stated pink robes alone were funny enough, even more so was his equally pink hat, which had four corners and small, tower-like things at each corner. With an angered gritting of his teeth, the man in pink blasted the two guards into oblivion with his trademark spell, the 'Hotspot'.

"Baka guards…must be new 'volunteers'. No one laughs at the Ambassador of the Evil Naru Empire and gets away with it!" he said with pride.

"KEBINU!!! IN MY THRONE ROOM! NOW!!!" sounded the bellowing call.

Kebinu sighed, he felt ridiculous. While he was the most bad-ass, tough as nails Fire Mage in all the land and he was second only in power to the Empress herself, he wasn't really all that much. As he entered the room, which was filled with paintings upon paintings and statues and sculptures galore of Liddo-kun, he felt like throwing up. Sill dripping wet, he knelt several paces away from the woman on the throne, which he adored to this day, despite being nothing more than her lapdog and punching bag most of the time. He then noticed the moving stone carving behind the ivory throne, a grim reminder of the previous Ambassador. He dared to look at her for a split second and saw the displeasure and anger in her eyes.

"I can't believe it. You've done it again. You've just lost us another city." The Empress said almost calmly as she leaned to the left. "A mining colony no less…"

"It wasn't my fault, Naruse…"

Before he could finish, the Empress had already blasted him with a fire blast that was triple that of his strongest spell, the 'Galaxy Bang! Bang!' and that was just for starters. The fiery goddess was not pleased with losing yet another piece of land from her massive Imperial domain, which she ruled with an iron fist. Narusegawa clenched her fist, grit her teeth and her fiery red aura flared up. She charged up another fireball in her left palm, which rapidly began to turn blue from the sheer heat. Kebinu broke a sweat in fear, he was afraid he might end up like his poor predecessor, Keitaro, who had become the living marble statue decorating the throne room. He sighed; at least the robes weren't pink anymore.

"No excuses! You realize how valuable that mining colony was to the Imperial economy?! Do you?!" Naru shouted violently, the blue fireball still threatening to blast away. "Who did you and the baka commanders you appointed lose to this time?"

"Well…the…the…Shinobu and Su Alliance, Empress…"

"WHAT?!?!?! Them?! They're practically pacifists!!"

"Well…they had Rent-A-Orcs and those Tama-canons are damn effective artillery units…" Kebinu said nervously. Naru was going to blame him for the loss anyway, no use arguing.

"Tell me, do you want to end up like your predecessor? A living decoration? I can arrange for that you know." Naru warned, though her anger seemed to abate for a moment.

"N-n-no…"

"Good. Don't lose another of MY territories!" Naru said before lifting Kebinu up and tossing him aside, straight through another ten walls. "I swear, good help is impossible to find these days…"

…

"Are you sure about this, Alaskan-san? I mean…going on the offensive against the Empire?" Shinobu asked her Prime Regent nervously. She wasn't one to dabble too much on military matters. After all, her powers in this world are healing and defense related. Her magic is the only thing separating the two SASA kingdoms from being overrun by the more powerful Imperial army. "We don't have much along the lines of military power…"

"Please, Shinobu-sama, do not worry. The Tama-canons are well capable of defeating any threat from afar long before they reach sight of the SASA borders. Besides that, we are close to perfecting Macross technology and once that is done, we will have a formidable military force." The other Prime Regent, Su's Prime Regent, known only as Shalashaska. "There is nothing to worry about."

The small garden, which Shinobu herself cared for so lovingly and sweetly over the centuries, was full of the sweetest smelling flowers in the entire world. That smile she wore made both Baka-Alaskan and Shalashaska tremble with infatuation. Neither of the two regents would ever admit it and Shinobu seemed numb to it, but they were greatly attracted to the unique combination of innocence, cuteness and perfect figure that Shinobu had. Shalashaska's mistress, Kaolla Su, had long ago forged the alliance with Shinobu for protection purposes. Both were at the border of the Empire and neither one, alone, could defend against Naru's hordes. Now, Kaolla was once again heading the testing of their military technology.

Kaolla was often too bust to attend to the administration meetings of the allied kingdoms. She was always working on one experiment or another, developing new, deadlier and more powerful weapons for the SASA Defense Force. Shinobu of course, focused on keeping the peoples happy and researching more powerful defense and healing magic. The threat of the Imperial Army just at their borders, waiting for even a small gap in the magical barrier she set up, was ever present. Shinobu was the one that suggested the alliance be formed in the first place and originally, the now lost group known as the Psychic Order of The Watermelon was to be part of it, at least, until the Knights of Motoko destroyed them.

"Well, if you two say so." Shinobu then made a tray of chocolate chip cookies appear from thin air. "Would either of you like one?

"Oh, thank you." Alaskan said nervously as he reached for one. "We are unworthy of such attention."

"Oh, please. It's the least I can do since the two of you are running the allied kingdoms." Shinobu smiled as she made a couple of glasses of milk appear and gave them to the allied kingdoms' two Prime Regents. "Su-chan and I really have no ability to run entire kingdoms."

"It is our pleasure." Shalashaska answered as he took another cookie. "These are wonderful, Shinobu-sama."

"Thank you. They're just a clumsy first attempt though."

"Its things like this that makes working for you and Su-sama worth it." Baka-Alaskan smiled.

…

The young, thin, weak looking man was in a meditative stance in the dark room, encircled by skulls. His long black cloak covering the simple armor he wore underneath, the candles all burning with a sickly green flame. He was underground, his inner sanctum within his dreadful Cathedral, with what appeared to be a gigantic human heart in front of him. As the flame of the candles shifted for a second, he opened his black eyes and brushed away some of his pure white hair. He stood up and turned around to see his goddess, his mistress, the source of his power and strength and the woman he would gladly die for. With a thought, he made the shadows of the room form a black carpet which she walks on with an incomparable grace.

"Goddess…" the man bowed. "…to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?"

"Come now, Kana. Need you be so formal? We are alone in this sanctum, after all."

"Sorry." Kana said as he removed his ebony cloak, revealing the skeletal design of his armor. "Anyway, it has been too long since we last saw each other, Kanako."

"It feels like an eternity, Kana." Kanako said as she walked closer and touched Kana's face. The pale, rough skin, the deathly complexion, the loving black eyes, she loved it all. "You have to learn to trust the decisions your arch-lords make on the battlefield."

"I know, I know. Fighting this War takes too much of my time." Kana agreed as he looked into the dark goddess' brown eyes. "It's all for you though."

"What use is territory and dominance to me without someone I can trust to rule beside me?" Kanako posed the question as he slowly wrapped his arms around her. "You're the only one that understands. You shared the Void with me; you know what it's like. I would have no other person rule with me, my Anti-Pope."

"I apologize. You know I cannot step down though. Should I leave, even with a successor, the Empire, the Knights of Motoko and maybe even the Kitsune Fan Horde would invade and divide the lands we worked so hard to attain." Kana sighed reluctantly. "If only I had the power…we would have control over this entire land now. I am a disappointment to you."

"No. You have done exceptionally well, considering the limitations of what I have given you."

Kanako almost melded with the dark shadows of the room, of the shadows within Kana's embrace. They never said the words of love to one another, there was no actual confession of love but they didn't really need to say it out loud. In the years Kana spent working to convert countless people to the Church of Kanako, they grew closer than they ever expected. Kanako sought comfort in the darkness of Kana's aura, the evil, the demented, destructive nature of her Anti-Pope and Master Necromancer. They had shared the darkness and loneliness of the Void together. Kana was appointed as the Anti-Pope of the Church by Kanako herself and he has done everything since then for the greater glory of his beloved.

"Your darkness…" a voice from outside the underground chamber sounded.

"Yes?" Kana asked, releasing Kanako from the embrace. There was no need though, the shadows of the room moved with Kanako's will, to wrap the two of them in darkness. "What is it?"

"General Talon seeks an audience with you. And…Grand Minister Eijentu of the Kitsune Fan Horde is here to negotiate the new contract for the Rent-A-Orc army." The young warrior answered. "What shall I say to them, your darkness?"

"Tell them I will be coming soon. I will finish my meditations in a moment." Kana answered before turning to Kanako's patient and understanding but sad expression. "I must go, Kanako. I am sorry but duty calls."

"I understand."

To Be Continued…

Kanako: This is just a preview. I won't update this until Kana finishes with "Angel Light, Angel Dark". I wouldn' want to take reviews away from my evil one's grand work.