Chapter 29: Honey I'm good

Hello everyone,

thanks for all of you sticking with me this far and for your nice and amazing reviews.
One asked whether this will be the last chapter, it's not. But we're close to the end as this is the first chapter of Phase 5.
I also haven't written out the following chapters, because of this whole pandemic situation is getting to me and I focused on my new FF, because it's lighter and a bit comedic, so it might take a little while until I update here. I'm sorry I cant give you a definite time, but my schedule is so messy right now... Please don't be mad, I'll keep you posted.

Also I'm glad everyone is looking forward to the new FF I have in mind and the first two chapters are already written out. I will publish the first chapter within the next two weeks, so keep an eye open. It's called: I wanna know you.

Now, let's get to the Pepperony, shall we?

Song: Honey I'm good by Andy Grammer

Honey I'm good

After Pepper got debriefed by the police she went straight back to her hotel. After spending a whole day with Tony and especially after their conversation she felt drained. Emotionally and physically. Her tears had long run dry. Not because she wasn't sad anymore, no her heart still lay in pieces scattered all over New York City, but because she simply had shed too many tears over him already. It seemed like her body refused to continue producing tears over that subject. All she wanted to do was stare at ceiling while drowning in self-pity and let the world crumble around her to ashes.

Unfortunately luck wasn't on her side. She hadn't notice the buzzing of her phone while she had been sitting in the cab. She had been too absorbed in the streetlights that painted pictures on the droplets the starting rain had caused on her window. Though she had't really payed attention to them. The red and golden lights had sent her mind spiraling back to the feeling of his armor clad arms holding her carefully while they shot through the sky. God she was a screwed up person. She had been in love with her boss for years, but had been too scared to admit it and refused him time after time, when he tried to make more of their growing attraction toward each other. Finally he got tired of her antics and got himself a girlfriend. Ok granted she herself had picked up a guy herself, a guy who seemed to genuine love her and even wanted to marry her, and whom she discovered she had absolutely no romantically feelings for what's so ever. And when she and the guy she really loved finally admitted how they felt toward each other he got his girlfriend pregnant and asked her to engage in an affair with him. Chaos.
No, over those thoughts she hadn't noticed the constant buzzing of her phone in her handbag, hooked up to the power bank inside.

When Pepper arrived at the lobby of her hotel and looked for her ID to retrieve her key card from the concierge her phone started buzzing again. The caller ID showed it was Alex and her eyebrows furrowed in wonder. They hadn't spoken since the proposal and her refusal. Why the hell was he calling her now? With a sigh she answered her phone. "Yes?" She was just too over this day to really bother with niceties.

"Pepper?" His voice sounded stressed and tired. "We tried reaching you for two hours now. Where the hell are you two?"

"I… We…" Pepper stuttered, trying to comprehend what he was saying. "Tony disappeared about four hours ago. JARVIS said Emily had to go to the hospital."

"Yeah, well he never showed up." Alex spit into the phone.

"Maybe he is still on his way?" Pepper said defensively. She knew Alex was mad at her for rejecting his proposal and he had every right to be, but she was hurting as well and being attacked like this didn't help the aching and the guilt she felt toward him at all.
"I don't know. Maybe JARVIS knows-"

He interrupted her again, "JARVIS" he stressed the word. "says he never left New York City. If you find him, tell him he should hurry. Emily is saying she doesn't want him here, but in my opinion really needs him." His voice was stern and cold while leaving no room for discussion.

"Okay." She simply said, at a loss for words. "May I ask… Are you with Emily?" She hated the fact that Tony was expecting a child with another woman, with any woman that wasn't her, but she really was concerned for her wellbeing and for his kid.

"Yes, I am in the hospital. So is Lisa. But they won't tell me anything. Lisa had been in with her before, but she won't tell me anything either. She's Emily's and Tony's PR lawyer, as you know and she tries handling the press. Just try to find Tony and send him over here a.s.a.p." The connection went dead without him waiting for her response.

As Pepper tried calling Tony she was greeted with a dead line wasn't able to tell her his position either. The suit was at his penthouse, but the AI told her Mr Stark had left the building again twenty minutes after his appearance and left his phone behind as well.

"JARVIS, do you know what happened to Emily?" She asked the AI, still worried for them and in hope to maybe find out more about Tinies whereabouts.

"Miss Manson's vital readings suggested she was suddenly in a lot of pain since her blood pressure was high and heart rate elevated rapidly. As for the condition of her child I have no information, as it was still too early into the pregnancy to monitor a heartbeat. Would you like me to hack into the hospital database to find out more of her current symptoms and diagnosis, Miss Potts?"

"No, JARVIS. That won't be necessary, thank you. Please monitor the news for a trace of Tony and report back to me as soon as you get note from him." Pepper hung op on the AI and scrolled through the latest google news of Tony or Iron Man, but the last recent thing was an article about their negotiations with JP International.
Pepper had no idea why Tony hadn't flown back to California when his girlfriend and probably his child were in jeopardy, but she had no time to ponder the question before her phone chimed again. This time it was her oldest friend.

"Lisa! I already talked to Alex. I have no idea where Tony is, he left me four hours ago on his way back to California. I don't know why he didn't- God I hope Emily is alright and the baby as -"

For the third time that night she was interrupted. "Pepper, there is no baby." Her voice was calm, yet a little sad.

Pepper stopped her pacing abruptly and clutched the phone tighter to her ear. She hated herself for it, but she couldnd't help the small spark of hope started to involuntarily kindle in her. "Come again." She said breathlessly.

"There is no baby, Pepper." Lisa say again.

"Oh no. Did she lose it?" In a matter of seconds her mind rushed to all emotions a human could possible feel. Pepper felt horror wash over her. Yes she had wished there was no such obstacle between her and her own happiness, she had loathed her pregnancy even, but never in a hundred years had she wished for them to lose their child. And what made it even worse that after her initial thought: Oh my god her second thought had been: Oh my god! in a far happier tone.

"Not exactly. There never was a baby." Lisa concluded carefully. "Emily was never pregnant. She's sad and angry at the world, but physically fine. She talked to Tony before and insists she doesn't want him here. Her mother came in half an hour ago."

"But how? What happened? And… and the test?" Questions exploded in her head like fireworks. "I thought they consulted with the OBGYN?"

Tony had just left the New York City area when he had asked JAVIS to dial Emily's number for him. It took a few rings before she finally answered.

"Emily!" He exclaimed without letting her get further than the first two syllables of her name. "I am on my way back, now. JARVIS says ETA is about two and a half hours. Are you alright? Is the baby alright?"

"Tony, you don't have to come here. I'm alright." her voice was tired and had an edge to it.

"And the baby? Is it alright?" He made his thrusters go a little harder, making him fly faster. "What happened?"

"I never was pregnant." Her voice hadn't sounded detached or emotionless, granted she hadn't been her usual bubbly self, but for someone who had just delivered such news, she sounded relatively normal.

"What?" Tony was confused. He had seen the sticks laying on his bathroom counter and has accompanied her to her doctor. "But the two blue lines? And the blood tests said so as well?"

There was a sigh on the other side of the line. Her voice was cracking as she spoke next. "It was just a cyst that caused the beta HCG levels in my blood and urine to rise. It's nothing major and I will be discharged in an hour. My mom is on her way here as well and I will be staying with her tonight. So you really don't need to come home." She rattled the informations down, like she was reading them from a newspaper. Clearly she wasn't as collected as she was letting on.

"Emily, I am coming home. I don't want you to go through this alone." He had said sternly, feigning there was no room for discussions.

"Tony," she had weakly, her voice slightly shaking. "please don't come home."

"You just lost a baby, of course I'm coming home." He argued back sternly.

"First of all, I didn't really lose a baby, because there wasn't one to lose in the first place." She spat at him now and for the first time during their conversation she really showed how sad and angry she felt.

"Look Ems," He started softly, he didn't want her to upset her further in this situation. "I know you have gone through an emotional rollercoaster the last few hours. I can't even imagine what it must have been like for you with me gone and that's exactly why I don't think you should go through this alone. I am coming home, no discussions." He had instructed JARVIS to put even more power into his thrusters to make him fly even faster.

There was a silence on Emily's part and Tony had figured he had won their argument, until she spoke again with heavy emotion in her voice. "Please stay in New York, Tony." Her voice was breaking now with every word. "I... I really don't want to see you. When you are here it will only remind me of what I lost."

He had stopped mid air and hovered somewhere over Pittsburg. "What you lost? I lost this kid as well… I-" But he stopped himself, now was not the time to fight with her about this. And to be honest he understood. Seing him would remind her of what they lost and what they could have had. While it had maybe scared the crap out of Tony, it sure had been exciting for her to become a parent. "What does that mean? For us?" He asked instead.

"I don't know. Tony, please." Her voice was barely a whisper now and she was obviously crying. "I just ask you for some space. Until I realize what had happened really." Her voice stabilized with every word. She sounded mostly tired now. That was such an amazing characteristic about her, she seldom was whining. And Tony knew that she really didn't need him. Maybe she never had needed him. Either way he couldn't be of benefit for her tonight and she had actively asked him to stay away thrice.

"Take the mansion. You and your mom will be more comfortable there." Emily had thanked him briefly and hung up on him.

He hovered in the air a little longer, not sure what to make of this situation now. He hadn't felt so alone in a long time. He had no kid to raise, it looked like he had no girlfriend anymore and Pepper had given up on them, she probably had a long time ago, given how easy it had been for her to let him go tonight. On the other hand a small part of him was happy, he wouldn't have to raise a kid with a woman he wasn't in love with. He knew not much about family, but he firmly believed his parents loved each other and that that would be the best and only valid foundation to built a family on.

The longer he thought about it, he felt really sorry for Emily. He couldn't imagine what it must be like for her and the more he thought about it the more he understood why she really didn't want to see him.

Since he couldn't return to his home tonight he decided to stay in New York and turned around heading back to the city.
He considered calling Pepper briefly, but the way she had looked at him made him refrain. And to be honest, at the moment all he wanted was a drink and to be alone. After all he had just lost his kid as well.

She found him in the third bar she tried, with some help of JARVIS and a slightly illegal look into the NYPD public camera footage database. He was dressed in black jeans and a lightly colored dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up.
As she spotted him at the otherside of the room, sitting at the bar she suddenly wasn't sure what to say to him anymore. Was he sad? Did he still want to be in a relationship with her? Was he still in a relationship with Emily? Was their bond now even stronger?

The place was more of a club than it was a bar, but it was definitely the type of establishment he preferred. The Moxy was relatively new in New York, it was a hotel with a rooftop bar, a playboy bunny themed mini golf course and an other bar completely dedicated to gin. It was new, it was hip and it definitely attracted bombshells. Speaking of bombshells there was a blond, busty bombshell currently standing next to him, running her fingers through his hair. His arm was lazily swung around her hip and her heart stung for a second.

Apparently his relationship with Emily was over, given that he was here with another random girl in a bar, probably drunk, flirting away like in the old days.
His face came close to the girls face and he kissed her on the cheek sloppily.

The green monster Pepper had encountered within her pearlier this month returned with full forth, screaming at her and demanding to pull this hoe from his side and drag her out by her long, blonde, fake hair. But she wasn't the infamous Pepper Potts for a reason and she hadn't became one of the most respected business women by going all fight club on Tony's… companions.
No, she was more demure than that. And she knew she had a big advantage over those girls. Tony loved her. Or had loved her? That was to be determined now. After everything they went through did she really still have a chance with him?
Well she sure as hell would make sure that none of the girls in here had a chance with him, especially blondy over there.

In the past Pepper would have stopped herself from further harm at this point, would have carefully retreated and rebuilt her walls and went back to being his ever loyal PA. The one to never make a move, never ask questions and never listen to her own heart, too afraid to get hurt even worse. But Pepper Potts wasn't hurt, not this time. She was determined. He had fought tooth and nail for her over last months, now it was her turn fighting for him. For them.

She walked over to them, where they sat at the bar. Making her way through the crowd was surprisingly easy. A death glare and determination written all over her face could work wonders, except for a small encounter with an over confident bloke who though "Smile, red hot chili Pepper" was a good pick up line.

His eyes snapped to hers and she instantly knew that he knew what had happened to him and Emily. His eyes were nearly glazing over with questions and doubt, but also with a sense of defeat. It broke her heart and she knew she only had one chance to make this right. "Let's go outside and talk."

"Uhm, excuse you? Who the fuck do you think you are?" The blonde girl asked her and straightened herself before her to her full height. Pepper, still in her work attire and her signature heels was about two inches taller than her and looked down at her coldly. "Look ginger girl, get out of here, nobody likes vampires. And besides he's Tony Stark if you didn't know that, which I guess you don't. He would never leave with such a Plain Jane like you are. He's way out of you league."

Pepper had had a few of these conversations over the years with the girls Tony had brought home in the past. Though she had always remained cool and hard on the outside, some times their words had really affected her. Especially Christine Everhard had hit home once with her comment about Pepper still taking out his trash after all those years, insinuating she was nothing more than a glorified housemaid to him. If she had been asked she'd always deny it, but one time or another she had locked herself in the bathroom and had needed to fix her makeup before coming out again. Over the years her coat had gotten thicker and the way he was still looking at her right now, like she was a solar flare amongst a black hole mad her even more sure about it all.

Without even granting so much as a glance she pushed the bombshell aside and and cradled Tony's head in her hands. Not as a lover but as his friend and he accepted her comfort without any hesitation and lay his head against her sternum.

"Let's get out of here." She spoke to him again, softly. Until this moment he hadn't known how badly he had craved her company. Her comfort. The moment his forehead met her skin he felt a sense of home wash over him and the urge to get out of this noisy environment.

Without hesitation he nodded and followed her, not even batting one more eyelash at the girl. Luckily there was always some place in midtown Manhattan that sold cheap beer at around midnight and so they strolled through the streets toward Byrant Park with two bottles of beer in brown paper bags. They found a secluded corner on the far end farthest from the public library and sat down on a bench. The whole time since they had left the bar neither had spoken a word, Tony still too absorbed in his own thoughts and Pepper wanting to offer silent comfort, waiting for him to be ready to talk about it. Yet what was driving her crazy, she wanted to touch him so badly, to take all his pain and sorrow, but she feared as soon as she'd touch him he would crumble to pieces beneath her hands.

"You know, in a few month there will be a Stark Tower over there." He pointed toward the library and the area behind it with the brown paper bag.

"Yeah, if we still get that deal with JP…" Pepper said and ripped at her own paper bag.

"Oh, we closed that deal today." He informed her, with a side glance. Peppers head shot up and looked at him astounded. "You closed that deal." He said awe underlining his voice.

"But the meeting barely lasted ten minutes. Then the code black-"

"Pep, you're a business genius. Haven't I told you?" He looked at her and smiled knowingly before taking a swift swig from is bottle. "They called when I was on my way back to the city, saying you convinced them."

"But I only spoke for like ten minutes." Pepper repeated not really able to fathom it.

"They said the way you hold yourself during the crisis and your passion for the project were their clues as to the credibility. At first they thought the building would be a publicity stunt for Stark Industries and nothing more, but I guess you really showed them this is your baby." His smile dropped as he realized his last words and he looked back onto his bottle in his hands, which he had taken out of the bag somewhere along his speech, consequences be damnd.

She wasn't sure if his silence spoke more then words ever could or if it was a silent question for her to please free him from his agony and be the one to start the conversation they both knew he needed to have eventually. So Pepper didn't respond. She didn't know what to say and she knew they were beating around the bush, but she didn't want to push him, either.
After a while though the silence became overwhelming and Pepper couldn't take it any longer. "Are you sad?" She asked, observing him out of the corner of er eye.

"Am I sad?" He asked a little bitter, but not spiteful. "Am I sad that I don't have to raise a child with Emily? No, not really." A silence followed his words, before he realized how bad that had sounded. "I am sorry for her though. No-one should make such an experience. I can't even imagine how she feels." He took another sip and shuffled his feet over the sand on the ground. "Am I sad that I won't have a kid? I don't know." He sighed and fell silent again for a few minutes. Before he spoke next he looked up and at her. She turned her head toward him and hold his gaze. "I never really thought about having kids before. I never thought I'd come to a point in my life where I'd really consider starting a family with some one." He sounded a bit sad and almost vulnerable. He hadn't dubbed himself worthy of such a treasure. "But I believe the best way to built a family is with a woman you love, and not with someone you want to make someone else jealous with and when it practically was an accident. But on the other hand…" He trailed off, not sure how to put in words what he was feeling.

Luckily Pepper knew him inside and out and was there to finish his sentences. "On the other hand you already started loving him or her."

His lip quirked and he looked back at the Public Library in the distance. "Yeah, in a kind of weird, abstract way. I don't know, it's stupid." He shrugged and looked back on the floor.

He felt Pepper taking his hand and squeeze it. "It's not stupid, Tony. It's human." He looked at her and she smiled in return and her smile made him melt inside, made the sadness melt away. Maybe he still had a chance for of all of this, with the right woman, a woman he loved. And a woman who loved him.
His smile widened in awe as he realized she had actually told him tonight. She had set him free, had said good bye to him, but she had told him she loved him.

The lanterns which were scattered around Byrant Park illuminated them in a golden light, there were sirens heard in the distance and a wave of buzzing noise wavered their way from the ever busy Times Square two blocks away. A few strands had come loose from her bun and framed her face, catching the light and looking even more fiery golden. The way she was still looking at him, like he was the only real human in the world beside her, like he was a miracle of its own, along with the sureness, all doubt and fear gone from her eyes made his hear beat faster, stronger. He himself was sure about a fact now, he had only ever suspected before: His heart was beating for her, because of her.

If he had wanted kiss her so many times before, on the balcony in a blue, backless dress, before a press conference, down in his workshop when he had made her CEO, in his old office while she talked him down again, rightfully though, at another charity at another balcony, in a hayloft and in a treehouse, compared to those wanting moments, this was an entirely new league. The need to kiss her was vital, a yearning as old as mankind itself. But he wasn't sure if he was allowed to do so just now, so he chuckled a little embarrassed .

"You have no idea, how badly I want to kiss you right now." He answered the silent question her eyes asked him.

Without saying anything she put down the bottle and paper bag next to her on the bench and stood before him. This time it was his turn to look at her questioningly, but she just cradled his face in her hand, like she had back at the bar. Only this time he didn't lean his head against her sternum, but looked up into her blue oceans she called eyes. She smiled down promising at him, a twinkle sparkling in her eye as she leaned down toward him.
Their lips met carefully, like two teenagers, experiencing love for the first time, but as soon as her hand wandered from his jaw around to the nape of his neck his own brain shut down and his body kicked into action.

She really was testing the waters here. She wanted to be with Tony, a slot had opened for her and she was making damn well sure to not miss it again. But she wanted and needed to give him the space he needed. Yet when he told her wanted to kiss her, all rational thought went out the window. She had hold them back enough already and couldn't ignore the monster in her stomach any longer to claim him as her own.

The first kiss was soft, careful. She was almost afraid she would break their new bond by going too fast, break him, but the moment she felt Tony kissing her back, she couldn't contain herself any longer. For too long had she hold herself back, for too long had she denied their feeling, for too long had she never fought for him and for them. And now it was up to her to show him she wanted this as bad, if not more than he did.

The urge to touch him was overwhelming and she simply let go. Consequences be damned. Her hand traveled to his neck, his soft locks gliding through her fingers when she felt his arm trailing around her waist, pulling her down onto his lap so she was straddling him. She didn't mind that her pencil skirt hiked up on her thighs. It was only dimly lit and there were very few people around. Luckily they had also picked a secluded corner for themselves. She laughed into the kiss in surprise but was soon silenced by his tongue begging for entrance into her mouth while her other hand joined the other one in his thick hair.

Tony was holding her so carefully, yet possessively it made her shiver with certainty and anticipation. Unconciously she started grinding against him and when she felt the effects of her movements clearly pressing into her she couldn't help the moan escaping her throat.

A police car, that rushed past Byrant Park made her snap back into the here and now and she remembered if they continued this here, they might be facing a charge for indecent behavior in public. She had trouble bringing distance between herself and Tony, because every time she tried pulling back he groaned in frustration and pulled her right back to him. Funny enough she wasn't really able to resist him and gave in for a second. Every. Single. Time.

Finally she managed, chuckling to get a few words in. "I think we should continue this somewhere else."

That caught his attention immediately and he looked up at her with an astounded look on his face and was met with a wicked smirk and a distinct, slow nod from Pepper. He looked so damn cute and hot at the same time. He was looking at her like a boy on Christmas morning, being greeted with a new bike, but his messed up black hair, his slightly crumpled dress shirt and his definitely swollen lips made him look so delicious.

"My place?" He asked and stood a little uncomfortable in his jeans, but still grabbed her hand possessively.

"Actually, my hotel is just around the corner." Pepper said, before stepping up to him again and kissing him longingly.

I think we all know what the next chapter is going to be.
So there is no actual sneak peak, just a line from the song that was the inspiration for the outline.

"Stop moving your lips and kiss me"

Leave a little love.