Notes:

It's been a couple of weird and crazy weeks. I hope you and your loved ones are all doing well.

I thought I'd have more time for writing. I wish I had more time for writing. I hope the length of the chapter (more than 8,000 words) makes up for the long wait.

The story keeps expanding. I am fleshing it out so it makes more sense. Chapters 7, 8, 9 and 10 were originally one chapter. The scenes were much shorter before and I added more non J/D scenes to make things a bit more interesting. The J/D scenes alone didn't give the complexity of the situation enough justice.

Thanks for the reviews!

I hope you will enjoy this chapter.

The unfamiliar surroundings had woken Jorah early. Daenerys was still deeply asleep. She had only gotten a limited amount of decent sleep the last night. But at the moment her face was relaxed. Jorah hoped she would sleep for a while longer.

He used the time to reminisce about the last night. He should have felt guilty about sleeping with someone else than his wife. But strangely, he didn't. Jorah truly cared about Erena. And a good husband didn't cheat on his wife. It didn't matter that he had been honest with his wife about Daenerys from the beginning. What he had done was wrong. On second thought, Jorah realized that he did feel guilty after all. What was absent was regret. He did not regret the last night. The guilt, however, was there in the background. He just hadn't recognized it at first. Jorah had felt guilty about something or other most of his life. Maybe he had gotten too used to it. The guilt had become like a silent companion. He had felt guilty about being unable to make Lynesse happy, about disappointing his family, especially his father, about spying on Daenerys, about not being able to protect Lyanna and about leaving Daenerys. And he felt at least partly responsible for the state Daenerys was in. But that wasn't the reason why Jorah had slept with her. He had spent the night with the woman he loved. Jorah hadn't come to Casterly Rock with the intention to cheat on his wife. But as long as Daenerys wanted him, he knew that trying to resist her would be futile. He still loved her and always would. He hadn't even tried to stop loving her. He knew his limitations. He knew he would only be deceiving himself. He had tried not loving her in Qarth, in Astapor and in Meereen. He had tried again when Daenerys had banished him. After that he had simply given up. And it had actually been easier to not fight it, but to simply accept it and live with it, not matter that his love for her was unrequited.

When Daenerys woke, she felt warm arms around her. Somehow, she knew immediately who was lying next to her. She couldn't explain it. She simply knew those were Jorah's hands resting against her skin. It was the shape of his body, his smell, the way he held her. How strange, she thought. When had she become so familiar with his body? It must have been the compilation of many small moments over the years. When he had protected her, reassured her, consoled her. When she had caressed his face, washed the blood off his skin or taken his hands. How many times had she taken his hands? That was the part of his body she was most familiar with.

Jorah felt her move. She wrapped her hand around his and started playing with his fingers. Her eyes were still closed. Gently, he squeezed her hand.

Daenerys didn't want to open her eyes. She didn't want reality to invade her little cocoon of comfort and safety. She sighed in contentment. But they couldn't stay here indefinitely. There was a world outside the door waiting for her to do her job, six kingdoms to be exact. Daenerys opened her eyes and slowly moved her head to look at Jorah.

"How are you feeling?" Jorah asked.

She smiled at him. But it wasn't a genuine smile. It was meant to reassure him, but it didn't. Jorah gave her a look that said he wasn't buying it. Daenerys sighed. She didn't have the energy to pretend with him. Other people were easier to fool. But Jorah knew her too well. "Better than yesterday morning." Waking up in Jorah's arms was wonderful.

Jorah smiled. For now he would be content with that.

Her eyes moved to his mouth. She wanted to kiss him, but that would require moving. Jorah seemed to read her mind and bent down to claim her lips in a very tender kiss. Daenerys laced her fingers through his hair, pulling him a little bit closer. But she kept the kiss light, almost chaste. It wasn't the prelude to something more. It was the final act of their night together. Reluctantly, Daenerys broke the kiss. She wanted nothing more than to stay here with Jorah, but she had to get up. It didn't matter what she wanted. She had six kingdoms to take care of. It wasn't her comfort that mattered, it was her people's. "We have a council meeting today. Will you come?"

"If you want me to."

Daenerys nodded.

"Then I will be there." Jorah was looking forward to see Ser Davos again. And he was curious about the new council members.

After the council meeting, everyone left except for Daenerys, Jorah and Tyrion.

Tyrion lingered, but the silence and the look Daenerys gave him made him feel unwelcome. He wanted to hear what Jorah had to say, but he didn't seem inclined to speak as long as Tyrion was in the room. Without another word Tyrion retreated and left them alone.

Daenerys watched him. Jorah was hard to read. "What are you thinking?" she asked eventually.

"I have never seen you like this before." She seemed like a completely different person.

"Well, in case you didn't notice, things have changed," she said bitterly.

"Yes, things have changed," he admitted. "I know things have been difficult. I just thought… I hoped that…" Jorah became quiet. He had to tread carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was offend her.

"Tell me."

"You didn't make one decision," Jorah said. "You listened. You asked questions. But you didn't make one decision."

"Their advice is not very helpful. They are afraid of me. They say what they think I want to hear."

"You don't trust their advice."

"I don't."

"Then don't follow their advice. You don't need to follow their advice. Trust your instincts, like you always have."

Daenerys was silent. That was the real problem, wasn't it? She didn't know how to trust her instincts anymore. "What if I make a wrong decision?" A queen's decision – her decision – could mean life or death. Her palms became sweaty.

With sudden clarity, Jorah realized what the problem was. It wasn't that she was humoring her advisors, trying to appease them, trying to be someone she was not, because she was afraid of what they might think of her. That wasn't the issue. Daenerys was afraid to make a decision. "Then so be it. You were never worried about that before. And," he added, "not making a decision also has consequences."

"Then so be it?" she asked incredulously. "What kind of queen would I be if I didn't care about the consequences of my actions?"

"This is still about the Red Keep, isn't it?" Jorah saw her wince when he said that.

"I killed innocents. It wasn't soldiers who were hiding in the Red Keep. It was women and children." Tears were forming in her eyes. "Women and children, Jorah. People I wanted to protect. And instead I killed them." Her chest constricted. Breathing became difficult.

Jorah sighed. They had been over this before. But he would tell her as often as she needed to hear it. "We were at war. You ended it in one day. No one from the North died. You protected them from even more death than they had already experienced. Cersei gave you no choice. I know you wish there would have been a better way, but so far no one has come up with one. And even if, until you try, you never know how it ends. The best plans sometimes end in disaster."

Daenerys looked at him for a long time. "Do you truly believe that? And don't say yes because you want to reassure me. I demand that you be completely honest with me."

"I know that Tyrion thinks a siege might have worked. But I think he was biased because he is from King's Landing. It clouded his judgement. He wanted it to work. I honestly doubt it would have."

She still wasn't convinced. "Maybe… If it was truly the only way to take the city, besides sending our armies into battle, maybe then… we shouldn't have. Maybe there could have been a truce."

"Even if you had retreated, Cersei would have never let Jon and Sansa get away with their uprising. She would have invaded the North and dealt with them without mercy. Cersei would have made an example out of them, to show everybody what happens to people who oppose her." He took her hands. "Daenerys, several hundred people died in the Keep, yes. But many more died against the wights, against the Boltons, or when Robert took the Iron Throne."

"Did I destroy the Red Keep to end Cersei's reign? Or did I do it to get revenge for Rhaegal and Missandei? Did I kill hundreds to avenge two?"

Jorah looked at her, not sure how to reply. "I can't answer that for you. Only you can answer that."

Daenerys truly didn't know. Right after the destruction of the Red Keep she had told herself – and Jorah – that she had wanted to put an end to everything and to keep Cersei from doing any more harm. But now she wasn't so sure anymore. And she was afraid to revisit those moments that led to her decision back then. "Everything has changed. Nothing turned out like I thought it would."

"Things rarely do," Jorah said.

"I always saw myself sitting on the Iron Throne one day. But the Iron Throne is buried under piles of rubble. And I am sitting in Casterly Rock, former seat of power of the Lannisters, with Lannisport right next to it." Daenerys laughed and was a bit surprised that it wasn't accompanied by any bitterness.

"It might not be how you planned it, but the Red Keep is destroyed. Dragonstone was too isolated to rule from. The next biggest city would have been Old Town. But Lannisport has a more central location. And it had an empty castle."

"I am not even sure I would still want to sit on the Iron Throne after everything that happened. And… my father sat on that throne." She let that linger for a moment. The last thing she wanted was to be like her father. She had looked up to him for so long, because of what Varys had told her. But it had been all lies. "Harrenhal would have been a good, central location. But the castle is not in much better shape than the Red Keep. And with a very similar history..."

"Casterly Rock was a sensible decision," Jorah said. "Besides, you are showing that the Lannister reign has truly ended."

"I thought about renaming Lannisport. But it didn't really work well with Slaver's Bay either. People here still call it Slaver's Bay, not Dragon Bay."

"The Queen I know would have simply decided to change the name, no matter how long it would take."

"The Queen you once knew doesn't exist anymore," Daenerys said sadly.

Jorah feared as much. There seemed to be none of her former enthusiasm left. He took her hands. "The woman I love is still there though."

She shook her head and pulled back her hands. "How could you still love-"

Jorah smashed his lips to hers, effectively stopping her words. And he only let up when she started to return his kiss. "Don't ever question my love for you," Jorah said, hardly able to contain his anger.

Daenerys just nodded. "I need to go."

"Audiences?"

"Yes."

"Can you spare Tyrion?"

"Sure." Daenerys looked at him curiously and raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to report to him?"

"No. My loyalty will always be to you. But I am going to tell him that he needs to get this council in line."

"His council? I should-"

"No, Tyrion should," he interrupted her. The problem wasn't solely Daenerys' lack of trust in herself. It was also Tyrion who enabled that behavior. "You have a Hand, a capable Hand. Let Tyrion do his job. I think he is afraid of doing anything without consulting you first because you might see it as betrayal. You need to start trusting Tyrion again."

She sighed. She was aware that she had trust issues with Tyrion. "I know."

"You need to give him a chance to prove himself. Like you gave me another chance."

Daenerys nodded. "I will try." Jorah was asking a lot. But he was right.

Tyrion entered Jorah's quarters. "The Queen said you wanted to see me."

Jorah got straight to the point. "You used to be such a nuisance. But now… You told me you would try to serve her better, that you wouldn't follow her blindly."

Tyrion knew exactly what Jorah was alluding to. He grinned sheepishly. "Easier said than done?" More than once Tyrion had asked himself if caution was the right way to proceed. "I didn't want to push her. I had hoped that with time she would come to terms with what happened."

"You are afraid, just like the others. You are playing it safe. You are enabling her behavior. You are letting her get away with it."

"She is the Queen! What am I supposed to do?"

"Don't let her withdraw from everyone. Don't let her do everything herself. Challenge her. She needs that. Just like you do. Where is the Tyrion Lannister that couldn't keep his mouth shut no matter the consequences?"

"Maybe – like everyone else – I have seen too much death," Tyrion replied dejectedly. After a long pause he said, "One chained wight was a curious thing. We were in control. But thousands of them… I've never felt so helpless in my life. It's strange, at first I was glad that we had won, that it was all behind us. It was just one stupid night of fighting, or hiding, depending on whom you talk to," Tyrion admitted. "But gradually, the wights came back and invaded my dreams." As did Varys. Sometimes he dreamt that Varys came back to haunt him as a wight. That in itself was a horrible sight. But Tyrion was aware that this particular dream had a deeper meaning.

Jorah nodded in understanding.

"I tried drinking a lot of wine. That didn't help. I tried drinking no wine at all. That didn't help either. Therefore, I have gone back to drinking wine." Tyrion pointed to the wine standing on the table. "Mind if I help myself."

"No."

Tyrion poured himself a glass, drank and then faced Jorah again. "I did challenge her once. And the result made me so worried about her that I wrote to you." He let his words sink in for a moment before he went on. "I don't know what to do anymore. I can't get through to her. And I understand why she doesn't trust me. I can't make her do anything."

"She can be difficult. But she is listening. Give her time. But don't give up on her."

"The Jorah Mormont technique. Get banished and ignore it."

Jorah lowered his head. He couldn't help but smile.

"She avoids making decisions regarding the ruling of this country, saying it's not a priority. She focuses on the common people. But she is ignoring the wealthy and influential people, the people she depends on to run the Six Kingdoms. The new High Septon has repeatedly asked for an audience but she keeps ignoring him."

"The council is pathetic," Jorah said. "They bicker about trifles but when it comes to real decisions they are afraid to voice their true opinions. The council is meant to advise her. These people are not advising her."

"I can't really blame them. They don't want to end up like Varys."

"Varys wasn't executed because he voiced his opinion," Jorah said, becoming more and more frustrated. "That wasn't an opinion. It was treason."

"They don't know that," Tyrion reminded him.

"You are her Hand. Lead by example. Show them that they don't have to be afraid."

Tyrion sighed. There was some truth to what Jorah had said. Tyrion wasn't as forward as he used to be. But there hadn't been any critical issues which had demanded that he oppose her. Daenerys hadn't given him one reason to doubt her sanity or leadership. Not since the Red Keep. Not since Varys' death. She was tense and tired, downcast at times. But there were plenty of valid reasons for that. Tyrion hadn't considered it crucial to oppose her on the little things. He didn't push every point as relentlessly as he would have done before. But not because he was afraid of her, he was afraid for her. Tyrion had the impression that she was rather self-destructive than out to annihilate others.

After his talk with Tyrion, Jorah wandered around Casterly Rock. He needed a moment to himself to get his thoughts in order. How could he have left Daenerys after all she had been through? He had overestimated her. He had believed she could do anything. In addition to that, it seemed they were all still struggling with what had happened.

Instead of the quiet Jorah was seeking, he ran into Jaime Lannister. At first he was too startled to say anything.

"Ser Jorah," Jaime greeted him. "I wasn't aware you had arrived at Casterly Rock."

"I… yes… I got here yesterday." He studied the man in front of him, who wore the uniform of a Queensguard. "I didn't expect you here. I thought you would be… back north… with Brienne of Tarth." Jorah had witnessed their goodbye at Winterfell. And during their trip to King's Landing Ser Jaime had told him how he had met Brienne. He had spoken very highly of her. The admiration had been obvious. But also Jaime's self-loathing.

"I don't think she wants to see me. And the North is probably glad to be rid of me as well."

"What are you doing here at Casterly Rock?" Jorah was afraid he already knew the answer. The white cloak and golden armor spoke for themselves. But it didn't make sense.

"I am a Queensguard." Jaime smiled awkwardly. "It's what I do best."

Jorah was speechless.

"I assume you came through Winterfell on your way south. Did you see Brienne?" Jaime asked, trying to sound not too curious.

"No, I didn't see her. I only stopped there very shortly for the night." Jorah had arrived late and left early. Jon had not been at Winterfell when he had come through. Jorah hadn't even waited to pay his respects to Lady Sansa in person before he had continued on his journey the next morning.

Jaime tried to hide his disappointment. He would have loved to hear how Brienne was. "I assume she is doing well and finally getting the respect she deserves."

Jorah just continued to stare at him, still not sure what to make of this, or of Jaime Lannister. He had spent quite some time with him on their joint ride from Winterfell to King's Landing after the Night King had been defeated. But they had spent large parts of their travels in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Furthermore, due to his injuries, Jorah hadn't felt like talking much. He had needed all his energy to make sure he would stay in the saddle and not fall off his horse. Jaime Lannister was still a mystery to him. He was difficult to figure out. He had slept with his own sister and even fathered children with her. But he had also fought with the North, risking his own life side by side with his former enemies. He had knighted Brienne, most likely slept with her, but then gone back south to his sister, even though he still seemed to care about Brienne. Jaime Lannister was an unpredictable risk. What had possessed Daenerys to make him one of her Queensguard?

Jorah entered her quarters after knocking.

Daenerys could see he wanted to say something. But Jorah hesitated. He seemed even angry. "What is it?"

"Why is Jaime Lannister part of your Queensguard?" Jorah asked.

"He is Lord Commander of my Queensguard," she corrected him calmly.

For some reason, Ser Jaime had neglected to mention that little detail. "You can't be serious," Jorah said with outrage in his voice.

The sudden outburst surprised Daenerys, but she kept her composure. "He does have a lot of experience."

"He killed your father."

"Yes."

"His sister and lover died in the Red Keep. And their unborn child. Why would he… why would you…?" Jorah couldn't believe it. It was beyond comprehension. This had to be one of Tyrion's crazy ideas. His craziest yet. What had possessed her to agree to it? "Why not Grey Worm?"

"Really? Grey Worm? In that outfit?"

He looked at her dumbfounded. On the one hand, he was glad that Daenerys was making jokes again. On the other hand, she didn't seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation. Or more likely, she didn't care. "Outfits can be changed," Jorah said, trying to stay calm.

"He is not part of the council," Daenerys pointed out.

That was completely beside the point. "Do you have a death wish?"

"No. But I didn't want the Queensguard to consist just of Dothraki and Unsullied."

"Why not?"

"I want to be Queen of everyone, not just of the people who fought for me."

"And how does making Jaime Lannister Lord Commander of your Queensguard prove that point? The Lannisters were despised."

"Not by everyone, or Cersei wouldn't have had so much support."

"Cersei had the support because they were either afraid for their lives or afraid to lose their power," Jorah said. "This was Tyrion's idea, wasn't it?"

"Does it matter whose idea it was? And, besides, don't you think if Jaime Lannister wanted to kill me, he would have done so already?" Daenerys asked.

That was indeed a good point. Jorah needed to calm down. He wasn't thinking clearly. But he knew he would feel a lot better if Jaime Lannister had returned north. "He is not called Kingslayer for nothing."

Daenerys sighed. "There is something you don't know. I think, until recently, not even Tyrion knew about it. And yes, it was Tyrion's idea. I think he enjoys spending time with his brother and wanted to keep him here."

"Tell me." Usually, Jorah wouldn't insist, but this was a matter of her safety.

"He made me swear not to tell anyone. For some reason I don't understand he doesn't want anyone to know about this."

"Go on."

"My father was mad."

"Yes. So?"

"Ser Jaime killed my father because he had planned to blow up all of King's Landing with wildfire."

"Aerys wanted to destroy King's Landing?" It didn't make much sense.

"Yes."

"And you consider Jaime Lannister a reliable source? He must have thought you'd kill him if he says the wrong thing."

"Or that I would kill him anyway and therefore it didn't matter what he told me," she replied irritably. "Besides, if you would let me finish, I could tell you that I didn't just take Jaime Lannister's word for it. I had Ser Davos and some of the Unsullied look for it. It was well hidden, but the wildfire is still there. By killing my father Jaime Lannister saved the city from destruction."

"I'm sorry…," Jorah said contritely. "I didn't mean… I'm just worried about your safety."

"I know," Daenerys replied softly. When it came to her safety or her honor, Jorah sometimes got carried away. She should have mentioned that she had made Jaime Lannister the Commander of her Queensguard. But it simply hadn't occurred to her.

Jorah still couldn't get his mind around it. "I admit, if it's really true, it paints him in a slightly different light. But why did he never tell anyone? Why didn't he tell us at his trial?"

Daenerys shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe he thought nobody would believe him. Or he had a death wish."

Jorah looked at her skeptically. "That doesn't make me feel any better about him protecting you. There's still the matter of his dead sister and unborn child."

"I appointed him Commander of the Queensguard because I believe he will do the right thing. He did the right thing in coming north to fight with us against the wights. And he did the right thing in preventing the destruction of King's Landing by my father. I believe he would do the right thing again."

"What do you mean by that?"

"In case I do turn mad like my father, he knows what to look out for."

Jorah couldn't believe what she was saying. "So in case Jaime Lannister thinks you are turning mad – like Varys did not too long ago, unjustified – he has permission to kill you?" he asked in disbelief.

"You asked me why Jaime Lannister is a Queensguard. And I told you."

"That's…" Insane, he almost finished. Poor choice of words. Instead of being worried about what Jaime might do, Jorah was now even more worried about Daenerys' state of mind. "You are not mad."

"But what if I do turn mad?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that," Daenerys said in frustration.

"I know you."

"But you didn't know my father."

"No, I didn't. But I knew Viserys. And I have no problem believing he would have followed in your father's footsteps, in every way. But you are not like them."

"What sane person would destroy a whole castle with innocents inside?"

"It was war!" Damn that gentle heart of hers. Damn Varys. Damn Tyrion. And even Jon. Hypocrites, all of them. Daenerys had never doubted herself until they came along with their double standards, making her feel guilty when they had killed plenty of people themselves. How many deaths had Varys been responsible for over the years? Silently and in the background – always for the good of the realm, of course – probably never even lifting a finger himself, always letting others do his bidding or even making them think it was their idea. Jorah would have gladly killed Varys himself and looked him into his eyes while doing it.

"That doesn't make it okay."

"I am not saying that. But war means that innocents get killed. It has always been like that and it will always be like that. Not even you can change that."

"I acted rashly. I saw no way out and I chose destruction."

"Daenerys…"

"I still hear the building collapse. I hear the bricks crash into each other. In my dreams I hear them scream in agony."

"Daenerys-"

"I know I couldn't have heard them scream. It was so loud. Drogon was roaring and breathing fire. The Red Keep was crumbling. It came crashing down like thunder. But in my dreams I hear them. Screaming for their lives. But it's no use. No use." Silent tears were running down her face. "I hear swords clashing against armor." And suddenly she was back on the battlefield surrounded by wights. Drogon was screaming and flying high above, wights were raining to the ground. And then Drogon himself was falling. No, it was Rhaegal. No, Viserion. Missandei. Daenerys squeezed her eyes shut, trying to get rid of the images that were threatening to overwhelm her.

"Daenerys." When Jorah touched her, she took a step back and looked at him as if she was surprised to see him. There was a sheen of sweat on her forehead and she was breathing hard.

She couldn't breathe. She took several deep breaths but it wasn't helping. Daenerys felt like she was suffocating. The room started to spin. She lost her balance and reached for Jorah, but her fingers grasped at nothing.

Jorah caught her before she hit the floor and carefully lowered her to the ground. Her eyes were closed firmly and she was holding on to him with a tight grip.

When Daenerys opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Jorah's face. It was full of questions, confusion and worry. But it gave her focus. Instinctively, she reached out to caress his cheek.

"What happened?" Jorah asked, trying not to panic. His mind was racing. What the hell had just happened? He relaxed somewhat when he felt Daenerys' hand against his skin.

It took a while until Daenerys was able to speak again. "I couldn't breathe. I became dizzy."

"And now?"

"I'm fine."

Jorah raised an eyebrow.

"Better," she conceded.

Jorah helped her into a chair, kneeling in front of her. "Has this happened before?"

She sighed and nodded. "A few times." The images assaulting her even in bright daylight were no strangers.

Tenderly, Jorah kissed her hands. "You need to sleep more. You need to eat properly," he implored her.

A decent night of sleep sounded wonderful. Food not so much. But in any case, Daenerys had doubts that either would make a big difference. "It's not as easy as you make it sound."

"I know," Jorah admitted. But they had to start somewhere. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

"Now?"

"Yes."

She smiled at him. "You seem to have forgotten something."

He gave her a confused look.

"You are our special guest at dinner tonight. It wouldn't look good if I didn't attend."

Jorah had totally forgotten about that. Tyrion had suggested it during the council meeting. Jorah looked at her, astonished that Daenerys had actually remembered in this situation.

Daenerys mistook the surprise on his face for concern. "Don't worry. I'll be fine." She was used to ignoring her own needs and soldiering on. She never dwelled long on such incidents. It was also a mechanism to avoid thinking about it any further.

Jorah wasn't sure if he should take it as a good or a bad sign that she didn't seem much affected by what had just happened, at least on the surface. He would keep a close eye on her.

Dinner was a rather quiet affair, for which Jorah was grateful. He spent a large part of the evening talking to Ser Davos.

Daenerys excused herself early. When she walked by Jorah's chair she smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder trying to reassure him that she was fine.

Jorah didn't stay very long either. He wanted to look in on Daenerys. The incident earlier had worried him quite a bit. And by now he knew how skilled she was at hiding her true feelings. Her little gesture earlier hadn't reassured him at all.

"So, is Ser Jorah back for good?" Ser Davos asked Tyrion after Jorah had left.

Tyrion looked at him, confused by the question. "It's just a visit. He is Lord of Bear Island now."

"Jon Arryn was Lord of the Eyrie, Lord of the Vale and Robert's Hand."

"I doubt that Ser Jorah will for stay long. His wife is pregnant."

"Really?" Ser Jorah hadn't mentioned it when they had been talking earlier. But to be fair, Davos had done most of the talking. "Good for him. Good for House Mormont. Poor Lyanna, that was a real tragedy." So many children had died. Just like poor Shireen. Davos still thought about her every day. And it still hurt. He would never be able to forgive Stannis and Melisandre.

"Bear Island suffered many losses at Winterfell, first against Ramsay Bolton and then against the wights," Tyrion went on. "Ser Jorah has his hands full up north."

"That might be but…"

"But?"

Davos lowered his voice. "He hardly took his eyes off her."

"He is worried about her."

"As we all are." But that wasn't it. "I can't put my finger on it… something is different." Davos couldn't quite explain it, but he had trusted his gut for many, many years and it had served him well. "The Queen seems much more at ease."

"She trusts him. They have known each other for years."

"Didn't you see how she placed her hand on his shoulder? How she lingered for one moment?"

"He's the guest of honor," Tyrion said.

"I think there's more between them."

"More?"

Ser Davos looked at Tyrion suggestively.

Tyrion choked on his wine. After some coughing and wiping his mouth with his sleeve, he said, "Ser Jorah has always…. had a soft spot for her."

"It's not just him. It's her as well. I've never seen the Queen like this. She even smiled tonight. I don't think I have ever seen her smile before. I will admit that I don't know either of them as well as you do. But I have seen a lot in my time and if you asked me…" Davos chose to let that hang in the air for Tyrion to make of whatever he wanted.

Tyrion looked at the empty chair where Daenerys had sat. Could it be? They were very close. But they were just friends. Daenerys had never shown any romantic feelings towards Jorah. Of course she was well aware of Jorah's love for her. But he was married now. And Daenerys had sent him away – or let him go – whatever it was. It still bugged Tyrion that he didn't know which one it was. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that Ser Davos was simply getting sentimental in his old days.

Softly, Jorah knocked on Daenerys' door.

"Come in."

"I just wanted to make sure you are alright."

"I'm fine."

"You left rather early."

Daenerys had debated whether she should have stayed for appearances' sake or not. "I am tired."

Jorah observed her. She was wearing her night clothes. But she had left for her quarters quite a while ago and had certainly not been asleep when he had knocked.

"I was really tired before. I am tired. But… I usually don't go to bed this early…" Normally, she stayed up long into the night, afraid to go to sleep, afraid of the nightmares. She was hopeful that the nightmares would get better with Jorah here. She couldn't really remember having any last night. But over the last few weeks Daenerys had become so fearful of going to sleep that it was hard to dismiss the feeling of gloom that overcame her in the evenings.

"Have you tried?" Jorah asked gently. Her face told him everything he needed to know. Jorah was torn. He wanted to stay. But he shouldn't. Gradually, the situation became awkward. Jorah wasn't sure where he stood with her, what she expected from him. "I'll leave so you can get some sleep." He walked towards the door, but stopped short of it. If she wanted him to stay, she would say so. Or would she? The old Daenerys would have. And she had the day before. But she wasn't quite herself. Jorah turned around. He gave her the chance to ask him to stay. But Daenerys remained silent. "Sleep well." He turned towards the door again and pushed the handle down.

"Jorah?"

He turned to face her. "Yes?"

She looked at him with longing, but didn't say anything.

"If you want me to stay… you just have to say so."

Of course she wanted him to stay. But she couldn't get the words across her lips. "You are married."

"If that is the only reason why you-"

"I sent you away. I have no right."

"I am here now. Because of you. Tell me what you want."

"Could you… stay for a little while? Just… maybe… until I've fallen asleep?"

"Sure."

She got into bed while Jorah added more wood to the fire and extinguished the candles.

"Not all of them," Daenerys said. "Leave a few burning, please."

Jorah did as she asked. Then he went over to the bed, but was unsure what to do. Daenerys held out her hand to him. He took off his shoes and lay down beside her, on top of the furs.

Feeling his hand around hers was reassuring. Looking into his eyes was comforting too. But Daenerys was still reluctant to go to sleep. And the silence made room for other things, unpleasant things, especially in the darkness. "Tell me something."

"Something? Like what?"

"Anything." She just wanted to hear his voice. "Where did you go after I banished you from Meereen?"

"That's not exactly a pleasant story."

"Can't be worse than my nightmares," Daenerys replied. When Jorah remained silent, she went on, "I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk about it-"

"I don't mind." It had been such a long time ago. It felt like a different life. "I followed the main road out of Meereen. I had no destination. I don't really remember the first few days. I stopped when the horse felt like stopping. I had no plan. No goal. I was just angry at everyone and everything. I was angry at Ser Barristan. I was angry at Varys. But most of all I was angry at myself."

Daenerys stroked his face.

"I am not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me."

"How did you meet Tyrion?" Daenerys asked, trying to change the subject slightly.

"I met him in Volantis. In a pub." Jorah omitted the fact that it had also been a brothel.

"Tyrion likes his wine."

"I was not exactly sober either," Jorah admitted.

"I don't think I have ever seen you drunk. Not even in Vaes Dothrak."

"I didn't have a reason to drink myself senseless."

"Not even to celebrate?" Daenerys asked.

"I like to have my wits about me. Just in case." He always feared for her safety, especially after the wine merchant had tried to poison her.

"Always on duty."

"Many a man lost his life because he was drunk at the wrong time."

"Tyrion said you kidnapped him. Is that true?"

"Yes, it's true."

"What happened afterwards?" Daenerys asked.

"We left Volantis on a small boat and sailed through Old Valyria. It was an eerie place. Forsaken and forgotten. It was unnervingly quiet. But majestic as well." He could feel Daenerys' body becoming heavy against his. Lowering the sound of his voice, he went on. "The ruins gave a pretty good idea of how magnificent it once was. And then Drogon – at least I think it was him – appeared and flew right above us." Jorah stopped and waited for a reaction from her.

When none came, Jorah stayed where he was, not wanting to wake her by getting up. Minute after minute passed and he started to lose track of time. Only the candles gave him some indication of the time that had passed. Eventually, Jorah had to admit that he didn't want to leave. He didn't want to leave her alone. And the thought of going to his own room, spending the night apart from her was not very appealing either. Daenerys hadn't explicitly voiced that she wanted him to stay, but neither had she given any indication that Jorah wasn't welcome. He was too tired to debate this with himself any further. Therefore, Jorah pulled the furs around him and let sleep claim him.

Jorah was woken from a deep sleep by something hitting his face.

Daenerys was thrashing around and crying. "No. No. Please, stop."

Jorah tried to restrain her arms, but he couldn't see much in the darkness and didn't want to hurt her. He pulled her tightly against his body, immobilizing her. "It's just a dream. It's not real," he said with soothing words.

"Make it stop. Make it stop."

"I wish I could." Not sure if she was still asleep or not, he continued holding on to her firmly. "You are safe. I won't let anything happen to you."

Eventually Daenerys stopped struggling. "Jorah?"

"Yes, I am here. It was just a dream." He could feel her take a deep breath. And she was trembling. Jorah hadn't expected her nightmares to get this bad. How did she cope with them on her own?

"I'm fine. I'll be fine in a moment," she said, trying to reassure Jorah as much as herself. But she couldn't stop shaking.

"Did you dream of the Red Keep?"

"Not tonight."

"Of the wights?"

"I usually don't dream of the wights." Daenerys had spent most of the battle on Drogon, not on the ground with the wights like Jorah had. "I dream of the fires going out and the darkness that followed. I dream of the snowstorm and not being able to see, flying blindly through ice and snow. I dream of you. Falling to your knees. Once. Twice. I dream of blood. Viserion's blood. Rhaegal's blood. Your blood. And the water turning red. So red."

"Water?"

"When I washed your body, the water was so red. It became as red as your blood."

Jorah didn't have any memory of that.

"I thought I'd lose you too."

"You didn't," Jorah said. "I am here. I am alive. We are both alive." He wanted her to focus on the positive things.

"But so many died."

"And so many survived. The people in Oldtown, in Sunspear, in Lannisport, the people you meet at audiences, they survived. They are alive. They never even found out that the wights were real, let alone having to fight them."

"Yes. They survived. And then I killed the people seeking refuge in the Red Keep."

"Daenerys…"

"I know, I know. And I know why I did it back then. But in hindsight… I wish I hadn't done it. But I can't change that now. I have to live with it."

"In hindsight, we are all very wise," Jorah said. "Focus on what's ahead. That in itself is difficult enough, without punishing yourself over what happened."

Jorah was of course right. But it was difficult to let go, especially when she was reminded so regularly in her nightmares. "I just want to be a good Queen."

"You are not helping anyone by dwelling on the Red Keep. When I returned to Bear Island, I rode all over the island. I needed to keep busy. I needed to get my mind off you. I visited every person and talked to them. And it helped me keep going. I found a new purpose. It was difficult at first. I felt like I had betrayed them all. I was reluctant to face them. I had failed and abandoned them. I wasn't able to protect Lyanna. In my mind, I was the last person they wanted as their lord."

"And? What happened?" Daenerys asked curiously.

"I was nervous at first. But people had more important things to worry about than my mistakes."

"Nervous? You?" He always seemed so sure of himself.

Jorah laughed. "Yes, of course."

Daenerys couldn't help but yawn.

"How about some more sleep?" Jorah suggested.

She nodded against his shoulder and made herself more comfortable, hopeful that the nightmares would not return that night.

Th next morning

They had both been awake for a while, but neither of them said anything.

"You stayed all night," Daenerys said eventually.

"I couldn't bring myself to leave." How had he ever been able to leave her at all? She could be very convincing, Jorah reminded himself.

"I am glad you stayed." His presence had made a big difference when she had woken from her nightmare. Often, when she was haunted by her nightmares she panicked, not sure where she was or what had happened, what was real and what was not. With Jorah there by her side she had still been disoriented at first, but she had felt considerably safer than she would have on her own. His presence had reassured her and she had been able to calm down much faster. Many nights it took a long time for her to get back to sleep, if she managed at all.

"As long as I am here, you don't have to be alone at night," Jorah offered.

Daenerys didn't say anything. She couldn't. She couldn't ask him to stay, but neither did she have the strength or willpower to tell him not to.

"Unless you tell me otherwise…," Jorah stopped, afraid that he was too bold and giving her the opportunity to interrupt him. When she didn't, he continued. "I will stay here every night."

Silently, she returned his gaze. Jorah was offering her an easy way out of this. He always gave. More than she deserved.

Jorah took her hand and placed a soft kiss on her fingers. "I should go back to my own quarters."

Daenerys nodded. "The corridors will become busy soon." Her quarters, as well as Jorah's, were in a more secluded and thus quieter part of the castle. She didn't care much what people thought about her. But she didn't want them to speak ill of Jorah.

"Are you having breakfast alone?" Jorah asked.

Daenerys noticed the slightly disapproving tone. "Sometimes Tyrion joins me. Well… lately… not so often. I guess I should make that a more regular occurrence again."

"Not a bad idea." Jorah gave her a meaningful smile.

"What? Today?"

"Why not?"

"It's a bit short notice."

"You are the Queen."

Daenerys sighed, but couldn't quite suppress a smile at his insistence. "Fine, but only if you join us."

"Gladly."

Jorah returned to his own room. To his surprise, it wasn't empty. Tyrion was waiting for him.

"I want you to leave Casterly Rock at once," Tyrion said.

Jorah closed the door. "What?"

"You are using her," Tyrion said. "You are taking advantage of her. That is not why I asked you here."

"What are you talking about?"

"You are sleeping with her." Tyrion didn't want to believe it. But Ser Davos' words had kept bothering him, causing him a sleepless night. Eventually, Tyrion had come to the conclusion that the easiest way to find out the truth was to simply ask Jorah directly. After he had knocked repeatedly on his door, Tyrion had simply walked in and found the room empty. He had his answer.

Jorah didn't deny it. But neither did he dignify it with any kind of reaction.

"I never thought you would… I thought you cared about her."

"I do care about her," Jorah said, trying to contain his anger at the accusation.

"So you jump into bed with her the first opportunity you get? I know you've always wanted her. But with a pregnant wife at home I assumed you were getting some and wouldn't be that desperate."

"You better be very careful what you say," Jorah warned.

But Tyrion was on a roll. "I thought you were an honorable man. When I asked you here, I thought the worst that could happen…" He laughed. "I thought the two of you might get into an argument. I can't believe how wrong I was."

"It's not what you think."

"It's not? Are you not sleeping with her?"

Jorah stayed silent.

"At least you are not a liar. I have to give you that," Tyrion said with sarcasm. He was pacing back and forth. "It's my fault. What was I thinking?"

"Will you calm down?"

Tyrion stopped and looked at him.

"First of all, it's none of your business. Second, I would never do anything that could hurt her." Jorah could hardly contain his anger that Tyrion would think him capable of something like that.

"History proves otherwise," Tyrion said with venom. He wasn't just worried about his Queen. He also felt that Jorah had deceived him.

"Daenerys has always made her own decisions. It wouldn't be the first time you disagree with them."

"Are you saying you did not seduce her?" Tyrion asked skeptically.

Jorah could hardly suppress a laugh. The first time, on Dragonstone, Daenerys had clearly seduced him. The second time, he wasn't quite sure. They were both to blame. He had kissed her, but she had taken the decisive next step.

"Why are you smiling? This isn't funny."

"You are right. It isn't. It's ridiculous! Is she not allowed to have her own life anymore?"

"She is not the woman in exile in Essos anymore. You are fucking the Queen of the Six Kingdoms!"

"You are lucky that my sword is out of reach," Jorah told him threateningly.

Tyrion gave him a mutinous look, but remained quiet.

"Daenerys needs room to breathe, to be herself, to be someone else than just the Queen of the Six Kingdoms."

"And sleeping with her is your solution to that?" Tyrion asked incredulously.

"This conversation is over," Jorah said. It was no use to talk to Tyrion like this. "You aren't even listening to what I am saying." He waited for Tyrion to leave. When he didn't move, Jorah walked towards the door.

"Without me, you wouldn't even be here."

Jorah stopped. Would he have eventually made his way to Casterly Rock? Not if Daenerys had started writing to him again at some point. He couldn't be sure. "Maybe. But that doesn't mean I owe you anything."

"You owe me at least an explanation," Tyrion demanded.

Jorah turned around to face Tyrion again. "No, I don't. But ask yourself this: If it was Robert or Joffrey or even Jon, would you care whom they were sleeping with? Daenerys needs your help with ruling the Six Kingdoms. She doesn't need you to protect her honor, or whatever you think you are doing."

Realizing that Jorah would not be any more forthcoming, Tyrion stomped past him towards the door. "You better stay out of my way today."

"With the greatest pleasure," Jorah replied. "But I am afraid that won't be possible. The Queen has requested that you and I join her in her quarters for breakfast."

Tyrion's face fell.