"Why are you doing this for me? I'm just a virus that that infected you..."

The unspoken 'I'm not real' hangs in the space between them. He's not, after all, he knows that he isn't real, no matter how much he so desperately wants to be, yet here Emu is, talking to him like he can change.

Talking to him like he has changed. And, okay, maybe he has, but it's not like it's a step up. Now he's just – he's still just a virus, one who's killed people, one who's a murderer. He's scared, Parad is so scared, and, okay, that's the point of what Emu did, but he can't help it.

So why is Emu even listening to him? Why bother bringing him back?

"My game disease is part of me. It's part of what made me who I am."

The unspoken 'it's what made us who we are' hangs in the space between them, neither of them acknowledging it's presence.

"So," Emu continues, raising Parad by the shoulders, so they can see eye to eye. "It's my role to face you, and to make up for what you've done." He pulls away, standing, before reaching his hand down. "Just promise me this. No more fighting to kill. Work with me, to protect people."

For reasons that Parad can't quite fathom – how could he possibly deserve this – Emu is giving him a chance. Throwing him a lifeline.

Is offering to help him change his fate.

Parad reaches up, and grasps the helping hand before him.

'Thank goodness...' Emu manages to hide the sight of relief as he pulls the bugster to his feet. Parad is still shaking, unsteady on his feet, his face tear-stained and sweating. 'Now for the hard part.'

Parad had been in a bad way when they parted in the forest – had been on the brink of dying then and there if he'd taken one more hit. He hadn't physically recovered much, if at all, when Emu had called him to the roof.

He'd… probably managed to heal the majority of the damage while Emu… er, 'held onto him', right?

…How on earth can they check this?

…How can he fix this?

"Come on." Placing a hand on Parad's shoulder, Emu directs him toward the door inside.

"Wha-"

"We… don't have much time. Cronus has to be stopped, and if you can't stand, nobody's going to make it out of this. So, the two of us are going downstairs, and we're going to get ready."

"Here, sit down." Emu pulls out a chair, releasing his grip on Parad's shoulder. They're in on of the side offices, one that nobody really uses unless they have to. It'll be simpler here – there's lower odds of anyone walking in on them. Among the last things anyone needs is a well-meaning doctor to walk in on the resident pediatrician slash masked superhero helping a known enemy of the people.

He also doesn't think it's a good idea to bring Parad to CR. Not just yet. Not while everyone else is there, and stressed, and while Nico is dying. That'd just make getting prepared for battle that much harder on the both of them.

"Okay, you have access to some of my memories, right?"

Shakily, his breathing still quick and choked, Parad nods.

"Alright, that's good to know. Do you remember after… well, after I was hit by the car, that sometimes the doctors had to calm me down, whenever I started panicking?"

There's a brief pause before he gets an answer. "B… because you were scared… because you assumed they were mad at you for making them go through all that trouble…"

Emu carefully notes the slight tugging feeling that he felt at the back of his mind when Parad paused. 'Huh. Might be good to find out if that's what happens with the other bugsters, when they find out how to stress their hosts out. …Although, the patients were probably in too much pain at the time to notice.'

"Right. So, we're gonna try some of the techniques that they used with me, okay? It should help you to pull yourself together."

"Those… didn't always work with you, though…"

There's that tugging again, and it's not like he's wrong, either. Sometimes they couldn't help calm him down. "Still, it's worth a shot." He holds Parad's hands in his own. "Now, breathe in…"

He leads his bugster through a series of breathing exercises, trying to steady… well, to steady the both of them, actually. The despair that Parad had felt on the roof had hit Emu more than just out of sympathy – he's pretty sure he was actually feeling it.

He's pretty sure he felt Parad's terror and pain earlier, too, when they fought.

That might be a problem going forward.

But there's bigger things to worry about right now. They have to save Nico. They have to stop Cronus. They have to stop Chronicle.

Getting Parad to focus on calming down seems to have helped him stop crying, but… yeah, he's still shaking.

'On to step two, then.'

"I have to ask you some questions, because I genuinely do not know the answers. If you don't know them, you can't just make it up, okay? This is important."

"Right."

"When it comes to bugsters like you and Poppy, how do you heal? From wounds, and such?"

Parad gives him an odd look. "You don't know?"

"No, I really don't." Emu gives a small, embarrassed smile. "Poppy hasn't been in many situations where she'd get injured before she left or since she came back to CR. Kiriya… well, I'm pretty sure he just hides anything, because that's what he does. And, of course, Kuroto takes one and a half hits and dies, so he's not exactly a stunning example of health, and he's not exactly forthcoming on how any of you guys work."

Parad stays silent for a moment, still shaking, but… less so. Which means that at least part of the trembling was emotional, and now that he has something to think about, he's getting his mind off of the guilt and fear. But a lot of it's probably still physical. See again, was not in peak form last they fought.

"We just… do. It's not like I've ever had to think about it or anything, or how it works, or what's going on. I mean, you're the doctor, you'd know better than me what any of that type of stuff means."

"Wh- no, that's – that's not what I meant." Emu purses his lips. "I meant that, when you're hurt, is there anything specific you have to do to treat it that would be different from a human? Since… well, you're not quite flesh and blood in the same way as humans are, I guess, given the whole shapeshifting thing that some of you do, and the teleporting." He grins. "By the way, the fact that you can teleport? That is so cool."

"I know, right?" The returning grin isn't bright, exactly, and it's a little wary, but… it's still a smile.

Well, he'll take what he can get, for now.

"But… I mean, I don't know! Any damage just kind of. Fixes itself, after a while. There's no real way to it, it just does."

"…How are you doing right now, then?"

"… …" Parad starts shaking again.

"Ah, no, it's okay, it's okay!" Emu rubs his thumbs along the back of Parad's wrists. "It's okay, hold on, do – do you mind if I call Poppy in here? She could help us figure this out, if you want."

"Don't, please I-" Parad's grip grows a little too tight, his nails digging into the skin of Emu's hands. "I can't let anyone see me like this-"

"…Alright. Just us, then." Emu pauses, deliberately slowing his own breathing, in hopes that it will cue Parad to slow down, as well. "If you give me a minute, I can get you a something so you can clean up a bit. It'll help."

"…fine…"

Stepping into the hall, Emu sighs. 'This is going to be harder than I thought. Not that I blame him for being scared. That wasthe point of what I did, after all.' Shaking his head, he mentally claps himself on both cheeks. 'Come on, Hojo, get it together. We can do this. We have to do this.'

After getting a pair of washcloths, he's almost made it back into the office when he's stopped by a nurse from pediatrics. "Mr. Hojo? Is that you?"

He freezes. "…Ah."

"We haven't seen you in months! I know that you were moved to a surgical residency in January, but after that, you stopped showing up anywhere…" She gives him a concerned look. "Has everything been alright?"

"…Not… really. I've been really busy with another department, and I… Sorry, I really have to go." Reaching for the door handle, he grins nervously. "I'm getting one of those headaches again, so I just need to be alone for a bit. Do you mind making sure I'm not disturbed?"

"Oh. Yes, of course." She smiles. "Take care of yourself."

"I'm doing my best. Thank you." Finally entering the room, he just manages to avoid slamming the door behind him. "I'm back. How are you doing?"

Parad's expression is… not wary, exactly, but… a bit suspicious. "I'm… fine. I guess. You covered for me. Why?"

"Why not?" Emu hands the damp washcloth over. "Here, try to clean up a little. You look awful."

Nodding, Parad starts scrubbing at his face. "Can't show Cronus up like this, can I? I'd be an embarrassment to my species." Freezing, his voice is muffled by the cloth. "Can't show him up if I can't fight, either."

"Right." Reaching into his jacket, Emu pulls something out. "Here."

Lowering the cloth from his face, Parad stares. "Thats… that's my gashat."

"Yup."

'Why… I still don't get it. Why is he being so nice? Why is Emu trusting me all of a sudden?'

Reaching for the red-and-blue cartridge, his hand freezes before taking it. "Y'know, I could always just take this and attack you here and now."

"I trust that you won't."

Emu's expression is… vague. Not quite neutral, not quite judging, but not quite kind, either. Parad shutters. 'He doesn't have a choice. That's got to be it. Otherwise… If he didn't need my help to beat Cronus… I wouldn't be out here.'

Emu smirks. Smirks! Or maybe he's just misreading a smile. "Parad? I hate to say this, but we really don't have all day."

Nodding sharply, Parad grabs his gashat, holding it tight.

"Great! Now… do you mind transforming for me?"

"Eh?!"

Emu rubs at the back of his neck. "If we can't figure out how you're doing physically in the normal means, or, well, normal for me, anyway, we can try to use your health bar as Para-DX to get an idea."

Yeah, okay. That makes a lot of sense, really. He doesn't know how he works, and there's no way that Emu does, especially if Genm is keeping silent. Which wouldn't surprise Parad in the least, because Genm is the worst. …Okay, second worst, given Cronus, but also he did start all of this, so it's effectively a draw. …Wait, hang on, right, Emu was waiting for an answer. "Makes sense."

He stands up, pausing once he's out of the chair, just in case, but Emu nods, so it must be fine. Right. This is fine.

This is all just completely fine.

He'll be fine.

…He will be fine, right?

Right.

…Except…

… … When Emu was a kid… sometimes… clearing his head to calm down didn't always work. Sometimes it just made him get even more upset with himself.

Sometimes it just led him to hide it better.

That's not what's happening with Parad now, right?

… … …Right?

"Max Transformation Plus."

He just has to keep busy, and not think about it, and he'll be fine.

Written as a gift for tumblr user Aquabluejay's birthday. Crossposted to my AO3, SailorCresselia.