Authors Note: Hey guys, so this is my first ever SOA fanfiction. This will be a multi-chapter fic that follows my OC and Jax throughout the seasons, though the timeline does not necessarily follow the show. I hope you guys review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or any of the plots/characters that are portrayed on the show. I only own my OC(s).

The familiar incessant beeping ran through Vanessa's ears as she walked slowly through the hallway of the hospital, peering through the large windows that showed each of the very few small babies that were fighting for their lives. As she was about to continue walking towards the next room, she saw the unfortunately recognizable dark hair with blonde highlights exiting that room.

"Yeah baby, I'll be there in a few minutes, just finished seeing Abel." The voice spoke, which caused her to cringe internally. She listened to the voice continue speaking on the phone as Gemma's heels of her leather boots clicked and echoed down the hallway towards the elevator.

Abel. Good name. She thought to herself, looking down the hallway before taking a deep breath.

As the silence of the hallway met her ears again, Vanessa continued to the next window to see the tiny baby that she was looking for. She removed the sunglasses that were hiding her eyes and face, as she looked through the open blinds to take in everything that was keeping him alive at the moment. The tubes and wires hanging off of him practically choked her as she clutched at her heart, which was filled with an overwhelming sense of sadness.

The tiny blue beanie with the familiar SAMCRO logo on it, which covered his head, ensured her that she was in the right place. She could see his tiny chest rising and falling in a slow pattern as his small fingers and toes were wriggling around just the slightest bit. She looked at the small chamber protecting him from the outside world, as she felt the walls about to cave in on her, wishing she could too be protected from the outside world. Her heart started racing as the tears began welling in her eyes. She put a hand against the window to steady herself as the tears grew stronger, forcing her to put her sunglasses back on and take a step back, drifting slowly away from the window.

Wanting nothing more than to leave the hospital, she began to make her exit when she saw the all too familiar leather hanging off of the body that she used to be all too familiar with. The person that she was no longer familiar with.

Vanessa quickly continued down the hall and harshly pressed the down button for the elevator, her mind begging her body to get away from here. Against all guidance of her brain, she turned her head and quickly looked back to see him looking back at her too, his face tightened in what seemed to be a hint of recognition, but he shook his head and continued walking towards the room that contained his son.

Vanessa finally reached the fresh air outside, while her chest tightened even more as she choked out a cough, gasping for any air she could get, and feeling as though she was choking on the pain of being back in Charming. Knowing that she might not have much time until Jax came back outside, she rushed to her rental car, gripping the steering wheel tightly until her knuckles went white and her nails dug into her palms. She felt lightheaded as tears flowed freely down her face, her thoughts racing with the reminder of what she lost and everything that could have been.

"Breathe, Vanessa. Just breathe."

Vanessa sped through the roads of Charming, wanting nothing more than to get somewhere she could feel safe and comfortable, two feelings that she rarely had the opportunity to experience anymore. She knew that there were many things that she needed to face, specifically, she knew that there was one person that she needed to face right now. As she pulled up to the small house, she felt her heart racing again, not knowing if it was really a good idea to show up, especially unannounced. She looked at the time, hoping that the kids would be at school and Donna would be the only one home.

She pushed her sunglasses on to the top of her head as she began walking to the front door of the Winston home. She took a deep breath as she knocked and waited to be met with what she was sure to be the wrath of Donna. The footsteps and the slow unlocking of the door caused her to feel even more anxious about this situation.

"Vanessa…" Donna said, staring at her with a confused expression on her face, not expecting to see her best friend for the first time in over seven years. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry for just showing up, D." Vanessa mumbled out as Donna opened the door for her oldest friend. They both walked over to the kitchen and Donna took a deep breath and held up the coffee pot to her, silently asking if she would like a cup. Vanessa nodded, and her voice shook a little as she went on. "You probably think I'm an asshole for just showing up."

"You're not an asshole, I just don't think it's a good time for anyone to find out that you're back here."

"I know. I don't suppose it would ever really be a good time for me to show back up after all these years, huh?"

"Yeah, probably not. What are you doing here, Nes? Not that I don't appreciate seeing you, it's just… the last few weeks have been hell with all this shit going on."

"What's been going on? Everything okay?" Vanessa asked, worried for her friend and her family.

"I thought it'd be different this time." Donna scoffed. "Opie getting out, it was supposed to be a fresh start for us. He promised he'd back off the club. But all these bills and all the bullshit with the club is pulling him back in deep." She sighed. "Sorry. First time I've talked to you in years and I'm unloading all this shit onto you, just like when we were kids. Looks like not much has changed, huh?"

"It's fine, D." She gave a sad smile as she placed her hand over her friends in an effort to show her support. "You and Ope okay?"

"We haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye since he got out. I'm still so fucking pissed. I spent five years on my own without my husband. I raised two babies by myself. I think I deserve to be pissed." She ranted. "Sometimes I can't help but think how much easier it would have been if I just divorced him after he got locked up. It doesn't help that ATF is apparently up the club's ass either. They've been trying to get him to talk since before he even got out of Chino. Then a few days ago a real nasty bitch took me, Ope, and the kids to some facility, trying to convince us to rat for witness protection."

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing, obviously. Opie loves the club, he would never rat. And as much as I hate what the club has turned him and my family into, neither would I. I don't know much about this life, but I know what happens to rats. I would never want to put my family into that situation to begin with."

"I'm sure you can thank my brothers and my dad for bringing ATF into Charming."

"Probably. Apparently, you're the only Hale without a stick up their ass." Both women laughed lightly before Donna continued with a deep sigh, tears filling her eyes. "But all the shit the club pulls doesn't necessarily help. I just want him out. I want my family back. I married Opie, I didn't marry the club."

"I'm sorry, Donna." Vanessa hugged her, trying to comfort her friend until Donna finally pulled back and wiped at her tears.

"What the hell are you even doing back here? You up and leave without so much as a goddamn phone call for years, and then you just show up to my house out of the blue?" Vanessa can hear the fury that's laced in Donna's tone, her eyes dropping to the floor. "Vanessa, it is really not a good time for you to be in Charming, especially with all the club shit and everything that's going on with Jax."

"Fuck, I know Donna. I just… I had to see him."

"You already saw Jax?"

"No. The baby."

"You saw Abel?" Donna scoffed in disbelief. Vanessa swore she could hear a little bit of disgust in Donna's tone.

"I had to. My brother told me that he was born early and that he was sick. He told me that he might not make it and I just needed to see him."

"Jax has been through the fucking ringer lately, I really don't think it's a good idea for you to be showing up to the hospital to visit his sick kid."

"I know, I'm fucked up. Okay, I get it. But I just had to see him. I didn't even realize what I was doing until I was already on the bus and getting off at a stop in Stockton. I heard that the baby might not make it and I just, I freaked. I had to come see him."

"Jesus, if Jax sees you he will be even more hurt."

"I'm not going to see him, okay? I can't see him anyway. It hurts too much." Vanessa sighed while pushing her fingers through her hair and took a sip of the bitter coffee that sat in front of her. "I just want to stay until I know that the baby makes it through his surgery and then I'll go back to Reno. It'll be like no one even knew that I was here."

"Vanessa…" Donna sighed again.

"I'll be on my best behavior, mom." Vanessa smirked.

"I'm being serious, Vanessa. There is a lot of shit going on lately and the last thing we all need is Hurricane Nessa to come rolling back in after like seven years of being away. Especially Jax, he has a lot of shit going on with the junkie, the sick kid, and the club."

"I know and I get it. I swear to you; I will not do anything. My family will never know that I'm here. Neither will any of the sons. You're the only one that knows I'm here."

"Good. Let's keep it that way." She took a deep breath, "You been in Reno all these years?"

"New York. Moved to Reno a few months back."

"Jesus, that's a story I'm gonna need to hear soon."

"Eventually."

"Where are you staying?"

"Figured it would be best if I didn't stay in Charming, so I'm at the Ramada in Lodi."

"Alright, look, I know Abel is having his surgery today. I'll fill you in on everything about it as soon as I know, but I gotta go pick up the kids." Donna states as she hugs Vanessa again and squeezes her. "Give me your number." She spoke out, handing Vanessa the cell phone. "I'll see you tonight and you can tell me all about what was going through your mind when you left without a goodbye." Donna eyed her; anger visible in her eyes. Vanessa was sure that Opie and the kids have been on the receiving end of that look several times. "Please stay in Lodi until I call you."

"I will, I promise."