Chapter 1 - When all the boxes are ripped.

Hurt. Angry. Sorrowful. Bitter. Frustrated. Wrecked. Heartbroken. All these words with different meaning have one thing in common at this moment. They describe accurately the confusing feelings that Lena Luthor is feeling whilst she puts down-or crash down her glass on the photo frame who was showing a picture of she, Kara and Alex.

She is also kind-of drunk on the top of everything, but at least this state could pass quickly.

It's been a few days since she had discovered that the person she trusted with her life had been lying to her all these times, making her look like the most stupid fool of any planet.

She is mad at Kara, and she is mad at herself too. How it was even possible that all those years, she didn't notice that Kara Danvers and Supergirl are the same person? She's been in close contact with both of them for the past three years. Sharing hugs with Kara on a regular basis, while Supergirl was catching her every time she was falling from somewhere. And then, there is the way both of them fight for her every single time the whole world seems to be against her.

She hates to admit it but a part of herself understand why Kara didn't tell her the truth when she first met her, she needed her secret identity and of course she couldn't go around telling everyone she met that she is an alien from another planet. But still, it hurts. Because Lena isn't just a person amounts everyone else, she is Kara's best friend. She could have told her truth once they got close, once she would have trusted her. But maybe, Kara didn't trust her and fooled her with their friendship too?

Lena doesn't know what to think anymore, she doesn't even know what to feel. The only thing she knows is that, she is bleeding emotionally and all her precious tiny boxes keep being brutally ripped one after another. She is cursing herself for her bad habits to burying all the feelings that could stop her to function properly, now they are all coming back at the same time and her brain is a wreck mess, like her heart.

At first, she tried to cope with the revelation that Kara is Supergirl, like she always does with everything. Wrapping everything in a box, making sure to close it perfectly and keep going on with her life as if her world hasn't been turned upside down. It has worked...Until the game night where she realized bitterly that no one was honest with her. She wondered if all the friendships she shared with them were even real.

She feels lost and alone, and she isn't able to close her eyes anymore, neither does she can close her stupid boxes, no matter how much she wants to. All she can do is bursting into tears in the middle of her office, grateful to have told her assistant that no one was allowed to disturb her, unless someone threatens to end the world. Her own world already crashed brutally and that was enough.

Her face is buried in her shaking hands while the tears she tried to choke back are finally released.

Her sobs start to calm down when she hears a voice,"Lena ?"

Kara. Of course, Kara Danvers was the only person who was allowed to enter into her office, under whatever circumstances.

Lena wipes her tears quickly while she tries to regain her composure as she gets-up from her chair. If she can't put her feelings into her boxes, she can at least puts a mask to cover the pain she feels on her face. She doesn't want anyone to see her like this, especially not the person who betrayed her and unconsciously opened her deepest wounds.

She stares at Kara with a neutral expression, she could have fooled her if Kara wouldn't have seen her, face buried in her hands while her shoulders were shaking and her whole body shivered under the heavyweight her heart carried.

"Are you okay?" Kara asks, already cursing herself for the stupidity of her question. Clearly, Lena doesn't seem okay. She looks down when her attention is suddenly grabbed by the sight of the shattering glass of the photo frame, she doesn't miss the glass of scotch over it, who was probably the weapon used.

She looks up into Lena's direction, and with the way her best friend is looking at her in this instant, Kara is hitting by the realization that she is probably too late to reveal her most important secret. She doesn't know how, but she has already been exposed.

"You know?" she asks in a whisper, more as a confirmation of something she already suspect than like a question she desperately needs the answer to.

"That you are Supergirl? That you've been lying to me for years? That you betrayed me like everyone I've been stupid enough to trust? That's you've fooled me with your friendship?"

Kara has a lump in her throat, she tries to make it go, she swallows hard. She wants to cry, but she feels like she's not allowed to do that. She is the one who has hurt her best friend in the worst way possible. She feels that she is not allowed to be hurt right now. If she would have been honest years ago, they wouldn't be in this situation today. She blames herself, like she always does. If Lena doesn't want to have her in her life anymore, she would accept it, even if that would hurt like hell. She wishes she could go back in time and do things differently, but she can't.

Her eyes are glossy as she tries to hold back her tears while she explains with a shaking voice. "I trust you Lena, and our friendship is real...I didn't lie about this. I just wanted to wait until the time was right to tell you the truth…I was going to do it today."

"It's easy to say that, now that I already know." Lena says, resentful.

"Please, Lena... let me explains." Kara says, her voice is breaking. "Our friendship means everything to me."

"If that was true, you would have been honest with me years ago."

"I couldn't... It's not something I can disclose to everyone but...I trust you Lena... It was a torture to hide the truth from you these past weeks. I tried to be there for you both as Supergirl and Kara Danvers, but no matter how much powers I can have, I can't duplicate myself. That's what make me realize that I needed to be honest…Because you deserve to know it…I tried to tell you when we were in Kasnia, but you already was hurting so bad by Eve's betrayal... so, I just felt, that at this moment you needed your best friend more than the truth."

Kara finishes her speech with some tears who slip from her eyes.

Lena's heart break even more at this vision, she's mad at Kara but seeing her in pain doesn't make her feel better, it's quite the opposite actually. She wants to hug her, she would want to hold her close to her heart while she would say that everything's gonna okay, she would want to say that she forgives her and that nothing has changed. But she would like meaning it before saying it. Unfortunately she doesn't know how long that's gonna take for her heart to heal. Even if deeply in her soul, she knows that one day she would forgive her, because Kara isn't like every other person of her life, Kara is the first person who've always been there for her, and she knows she'll always will be.

"Now you have someone who will stand up for you, always."

"I will always protect you. I promise"

"I'm always gonna be here for you."

She can hear Kara's voice in her head, and she can feel that her best friend meant every word she said.

Lena stays silent whilst Kara starts sobbing quietly.

Lena can't stand this sight any longer, she reaches to take Kara in her arms.

Kara is taken aback by this reaction, she expected more a fist in the nose than a hug. But she gladly accepts it and wraps her arms tightly around Lena. She nuzzles in the embrace and wishes it could last forever, but Lena is already pulling away.

But Lena is still close to her, and softly puts her hands on Kara's face, before she slowly wipes her tears.

They stare deeply at each other in silence before Kara breaks it and whispers,"I didn't expect that..."

"What did you expected?"

"I thought you would throw me away from your office...I thought you would punch me in the face."

"I considered punching you in the face... but if I do that, I think it's me who will be hurt the most." Lena chuckles.

Lena laugh is enough to make Kara feels that they will be okay, even if that would take some time for both of them to heal.

"I feel bad to have broken the glass of our photo frame." Lena says, quietly.

"I'll buy you another." Kara smiles. "We can even take another picture. What do you think about a movie night at my apartment tonight?"

"I'm not sure I can do that, Kara." Lena says with a sad smile.

"Yeah...I imagine you must be busy. Another time?"

"It's not that, I'm not busy tonight...I'm just...not ready to hangout with you as if nothing happened. I'm still mad and hurt and I think I need some time alone to heal and move forward."

"I understand." Kara says, while she fakes a smile."Tell me if I can do something to help you to get better."

"The only thing you can do right now is giving me the space I need."

"Okay..." Kara says as she looks down.

"Don't be angry at me, please." Lena pleaded.

"I'm not angry, trust me...I understand, it's just...I'm gonna miss you."

"You're gonna miss me too." Lena smiles."But it's better to do that now, so we can have the friendship we're meant to have."

"You're right." Kara says, more hopeful. "Call me if you need anything."

"I will." Lena smiles.

Lena watches Kara going away, as she said, she is still wounded, but she is also relieves that things are more clear now. She just hopes her heart isn't going to make her waiting too long to heal.

Kara gets out of L-corp with tears streaming down her face, her heart is pounding too fast, it's painful, she presses her palm on it, as if that's could make it slow down, while she struggles to breathe. She doesn't understand what she's feeling, the confrontation didn't go as bad as she feared. Lena seems to be on the right path to forgive her, even if she needs some distance. Maybe it's just that, she is afraid of all the time she would have to live without her best friend by her side every day. She wipes her tears quickly and doesn't even take the time to change into her suit before flying to her apartment. She flies so fast that no one could be able to notice her in the sky.

She is in her apartment since thirty minutes, she's pacing back and forth while her heart refuses to slow down but at least she isn't crying anymore. That's until she spots a picture of she and Lena on a piece of furniture. She takes the photo frame in her hand and caresses Lena's face while her tears are coming back. She remembers clearly the day this picture has been taken. A part of herself wishes she could go back to this time but the other part doesn't because that's would means still lying to Lena, and she still would feel terribly guilty for that. Lena deserves better than a friendship including lies. She takes a deep breath, "Everything is gonna be okay. Lena is gonna take all time necessary she needs to heal, and she will get back to me afterwards. It's alright. Everything's gonna be fine." She repeats like a mantra until she starts to believe it.

Three weeks, it's been three weeks since the last time Kara saw Lena. Three long weeks without any lunch break together, without spontaneous friendly visit at each other office, without any movie night together.

Twenty-one day without any phone calls or text messages, twenty-one day without knowing how Lena was doing, twenty-one day being so worried about her best friend that she even forgot to be worried about herself.

Three terrible weeks without Lena being present at any game night. Kara was happy to team-up with Alex, but without Lena by her side she felt like a part of herself was missing, and the worst part? She had no idea when this part would get back.

The game night at Kara's apartment was coming to an end, Alex was about to left with Kelly until her girlfriend stopped her, "Maybe you should stay with your sister tonight, she doesn't look fine."

"I know." Alex sighed. "I don't know what to do...Since Lena took her distance, it's like… she closed herself, maybe I should go talking to her..." She stopped when she saw Kelly's disapproval expression."What?"

"I think it's not a good idea, Lena hasn't been betrayed only by Kara, but by all of you. So, if you try to talk to her, I think that's just going to make it worse. I don't know her well, but I think it's better if you all give her some time."

"You're right." Alex smiled."Since you always have good advices, can you tell me what can I do for my sister?"

"Just be there for her, like you always are." Kelly smiled. "I'm not bold enough to mention it to her directly but maybe doing a therapy could be good for her. Maybe it's not just the situation with Lena that's make her feel like this, maybe it's all the weight she has on her shoulders that's starting to be too heavy."

Alex pondered what her girlfriend says for a few seconds,"You're really great at understanding people struggles."

"That's my job." Kelly says.

"Right!" Alex smiled."When you suggest a therapy for Kara, you mean it with you or with someone else?"

"I can do it, if she wants it." Kelly answered. "Or that could be with someone else, if she rather wants that. But that could be more complicated and less efficient if she can't be totally opens, you know...about Supergirl."

"I'll talk to her." Alex says.

Kelly watched Kara one last time, before kissing Alex and leaving the apartment.

Kara sits down on the couch with a sigh of despair, life without Lena by her side is harder that she would have thought, she tries every day to resonate herself, this situation is not gonna last forever, but sometimes she can hardly believe in the possibility of getting back the close friendship she has dreamed to have since she landed on earth.

But no matter what she's feeling, she has to be okay, she's a superhero, she has no other choice but being strong. That what she tells herself every day to keep going, the whole world count on her after all.

Her attention is grabbed by the photo of she and Lena, she stares at it every day, wondering how long it's gonna take for them to find each other again. She looks forward for the day they could take another picture who will represent their friendship who was now free from any lies and secrets.

She's so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't notice Alex sitting next to her until she hears her voice, "Do you want to talk?"

Kara turns off her attention from the photo frame and looks at her sister before saying quietly, "I don't know what to talk about."

"Well...We can talk about what you're feeling, about Lena and everything that's happened these last months or...everything that's happened since forever."

Kara frowns when she asks,"Did you become therapist?"

"No, I'm your sister and I love you...But now that you mention it, what do you think about doing a real therapy with someone actually trained to help you cope with everything you could feel?"

"I'm not sure it's a good idea." Kara sighed. "I couldn't even be honest about who I really am so, I don't think that's would be useful."

"With Kelly you could be honest about everything."

"Maybe...but, talking about all my issues to your girlfriend is kind of weird, I think."

"Kelly is very professional and competent, think about it at least, please. That's really could help you."

"I will." Kara assures."Now I would really like to take my mind off of everything for a while."

"I let you pick the movie."

"You stay with me tonight?" Kara asks.

"I'm not going anywhere." Alex smiles.

After starting the movie, Kara puts a soft blanket on she and Alex before laying her head on her sister's shoulder, and for a while the weight of the world felt less heavy.

Kara spent the last four days thinking about the conversation she had with Alex after the most recent game night. Her sister has been kind enough to respect her personal space and didn't bring-up this subject again. Alex probably waited for her to be ready to talk about that and didn't want her to feel pressured about the therapy.

After another sleepless night, staring blankly at the ceiling, thinking about all the things she could have done differently to make everything better. She realized how bad she actually felt and couldn't stop to feel guilty about that, she was a superhero, she wasn't supposed to be weak. But whatever, she pushed this thought deeply on the back of her mind before dialing Kelly's number.

The next day, Kara and Alex entered silently the waiting room of Kelly's psychologist office and took a seat.

Kara scanned the room, she liked the way Kelly had decorated it, it's make the place warm and safe, like her. She couldn't stop the thoughts of someone else who make her feel warm and safe to come back in her mind, in this instant she would trade her powers in a heartbeat for a hug from Lena Luthor. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked-down.

"Are you okay?" Alex asks, worried.

"I don't know what I feel." Kara answers, quietly.

"Well, that's for figuring things out that you are here." Alex says while she puts her hand over Kara's.

"Yeah..." Kara whispers.

Alex was about to say something when she was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. She picks up the phone and talk to her interlocutor for maybe one minute before hanging-up and turning to her sister, "It was the DEO, there was..."

"Go." Kara interrupts her."I'll be fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah." Kara smiles."Duty comes first."

"No, you come first."

Kara was about to reply when the office's door opened. "Are you ready?" Kelly asks with a smile.

Kara nods before getting-up from the chair.

Before going, Alex pulls her sister for a tight hug and whispers in her ear,"I'm proud of you."

Kara squeezed her sister gently in her arms before pulling away from her.

With one last look to Alex and one last smile from her sister, Kara knew everything will be okay. She may be will be alone in therapy, but she knows that no matter what Alex will always be by her side.

I'll be happy to know what you think of this first chapter, so reviews are greatly appreciated. ;)