I am BACK with another competition story! I'll give a little backstory on what I'm going for before we get into it.

Basically, I always hated how Chris got way more sadistic and deranged after TDWT, and he was one of my favorite characters between TDI-TDWT. So, I've tweaked things a little bit to have his sadism be a part of his contract, and now that's out the window because of the poor ratings of TDAS and TDPI.

The campers in this story are ALL 21 years old. I know technically they should be different ages because of different generations but nope, in this story they're all the same age.

The OFFICIAL WINNERS of the seasons in this universe are: Owen, Duncan, Heather, Cameron, Mike, Shawn, and the Surfer Dudes.

The rest will be explained in the story, I hope you guys enjoy!

Welcome to Total Drama Generations!

Chris stood on the famous docks of Camp Wawanakwa. The dock had finally gotten some repairs, as there were no chunks missing and it had a fresh coat of paint. The cameras had not yet started rolling, and Chris was rubbing his hands together excitedly.

"Yo Chris man, you ready?" Came the voice of the scary camp cook Chef as he walked on screen.

"More than ready!" Chris exclaimed gleefully, "this season is going to be the best yet, I can feel it! No more over the top death-defying challenges, no more stupid remarks about how I wish the contests would just die in a fire. Just clean, dramatic competition between a bunch of youngsters."

"And this cast is definitely gonna bring it," Chef added.

"You know it!" Chris agreed, turning to look at the camera as it finally clicked on.

"Hey viewers, it's been a while!" Chris said with his signature grin, "Welcome to the newest season of Total Drama! We're going back to our roots, baby, right here at Camp Wawanakwa!" The camera cut to show an overview of the island, with Chris's continued voiceover, "we've totally remodeled the island back to how it was in Season One! No toxic waste, no fancy mansions, no Fun Zone! Just a crappy old summer camp!" The camera showed the Mess Hall, Boney Island, and the Confessional Can, all looking completely normal.

The host began to pace the Dock, and as he passed Chef, the burly cook gave a coy wave to the cameras. "The producers weren't too stoked with the ratings for the past couple of seasons," Chris admitted, "and I for one, agree. Things got way too extreme trying to unnaturally pull out the drama." The host shook his head and make a 'tsk-tsk' noise. "I mean, come on! The freakazoids we had are perfectly able to ramp up drama without outside influence!" He gave a little chuckle, "Anyways, we're back on the island for yet another game and another prize of $1,000,000!"

"What about the campers this time, Chris?" Chef asked helpfully from the side as an annoying informercial jingle played.

"Good question, Chef!" Chris told him smugly, "this season, we've taken six campers from each cast: the Original Total Drama Island cast," the picture of the 22 teens on the Dock was shown, taken on the first day of Total Drama Island with Alejandro and Sierra badly photoshopped in. "The Revenge of the Island cast," the picture of the 13 contestants at radioactive Wawanakwa was shown next, "and the Pahkitew Island cast." The picture of the forlorn campers on the mechanical island was shown last.

Chris rubbed his hands together excitedly, "Three boys and three girls from each generation," he stopped talking as the sound of a helicopter suddenly came into earshot, "oh, and here they come now!"

The camera panned to show a massive osprey cargo plane, similar to the one the Pahkitew Island contestants had arrived on. However, this one was different. The cargo hold was full of large, brightly wrapped presents. Two bulky interns began shoving the presents out of the cargo hold.

"Incoming delivery!" Chris called happily as parachutes opened up on each of the presents and floated down onto the Dock of Shame. The presents were very large and there were eighteen in total: six red, six green, and six blue. "Looks like Christmas came early," Chris remarked as he walked over to the first red present. "Let's see what we got, shall we?" He pulled out a pocket knife and cut the ribbon holding the present closed. "Remember," he added as he began to saw through it, "it's been about three years since the last season of Total Drama, so some of these campers are gonna have to get reacquainted," he stopped his sawing, chuckled, and added, "Awesome!" as he finally managed to cut through the ribbon.

With a great spray of confetti, the lid flew off and the contents of the present rose up into view. This person shook out her mane of crazy red hair and gave a loud cheer.

"Yay!" Izzy said, raising her arms in the air and backflipping out of her present. "It's so good to be back!"

"We're glad to have you, Izzy!" Chris smiled.

Izzy looked down and surveyed all the presents, "Oooh! Chris, how'd you know it was my birthday? Gimme!" She dove at one of the presents, but tripped over a gap in the dock and fell into the water.

"Ah-ah," Chris tutted, wagging his finger as Izzy surfaced and sprayed out a bunch of water from her mouth, "only I get to open the presents, you'll just have to wait to see who your competitors are! And it's not your birthday!"

"Aww, party pooper!" Izzy pouted, smacking the water with her fist.

Chris ignored her and walked up to the next red present. He sawed through it. "Welcome our next competitor…Duncan!"

The punk stood up from his present and shook the confetti from his hair, unamused. "I don't know how I let you talk me into another season of this," the punk snapped, stepping out of his box.

"I missed you too, Duncan," Chris teased, "hey, wait a minute, what happened to your green mohawk?"

Duncan raised up and touched his hair. It was true, while he still had the mohawk, it was just a normal black color like the rest of his hair. ANotably all his piercings were gone except for the ones in ears, too. "Eh, I guess I grew out of it."

"Lame," Chris sighed, and Duncan growled at him as he stalked over to the end of the Dock. He was greeted by a soaking wet Izzy.

"They brought you back?" He asked warily, "great…" His attention was quickly diverted when Chris approached the next red present. "Everyone give a warm welcome to…"

"WOOHOO!" Came a very familiar voice from inside the wrapped gift.

"Owen!" Chris snapped at the still closed present, "don't give yourself away before I even open you up!"

"Sorry Chris," came Owen's muffled voice from the still-closed present, "I'm just so stoked!"

Chris sighed and opened it up, and there was a huge blitz of white and blonde as the host found himself wrapped up in a tight bear hug. "Owen," he wheezed, worried he'd start to hear his ribs cracking, "can't…breathe!"

Owen let Chris go and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "sorry, I'm just so glad to be back! Total Drama was the best thing to ever happen to me and—" he gave a high-pitched gasp as he looked at the two campers on the other side of the Dock. "Holy mother of fishcakes! Duncan and Izzy!"

"Whoa, big guy," Duncan said worriedly as Owen sprinted at the two, "take it easy...takeiteasytakeiteasy-HURK," his protests were in vain as Owen scooped the punk up and gave him his own crushing hug. Izzy got one too.

Duncan couldn't help but smile as he probed his sore ribs, "good to see you, man."

Owen put Izzy down and gave the punk a high-five. "This is so sweet!"

The next contestant was not nearly as stoked to be there as Owen.

"Great, time for the umpteenth failure in a row," came Noah's dry voice as he shook his head, confetti going everywhere.

"Welcome back, Noah!" Chris told him, "excited to compete again?"

"Ecstatic," Noah drawled.

"Maybe you'll break your vicious cycle of losing and win for once," Chris teased, "...but probably not."

Noah just glared at him as he walked past.

"Hey, my little buddy!" Owen gushed as Noah approached the other three.

"Hey Owen," Noah greeted, giving one of his rare smiles at seeing his long time friend.

"You still dating that super hot lawyer chick?" Duncan grinned as Noah stood next to him.

Noah flushed a little but still managed to look apathetic. "Not that it's any of your business, but yes. Emma and I are still together, and we actually just got an apartment in the city together."

"Aww," Izzy gushed, "my little Noah's all grown up!"

"Isn't he?!" Owen blubbered, wiping away tears.

"No hugs," Noah warned him.

As Owen restrained himself from crushing his small friend with love, Chris went over and snipped the second to last red present.

"Welcome back, Bridgette!" Chris said as the clumsy surfer rose from her colorful prison.

"Hey guys!" Bridgette greeted the others warmly.

"Bridgette! Yes! It's so awesome to see you!" Owen cheered, running to the girl and giving her a surprisingly gentle hug.

"Hi Owen!" Bridgette said happily, "Hey Noah and Izzy!" Her expression hardened a little bit as she saw Duncan. "Duncan," she said politely.

"Hey Malibu," Duncan said, just as polite, "long time no see."

"Long indeed," Bridgette said, walking over to stand next to Izzy.

"Where's your boyfriend?" Noah asked, "off blowing the money he won on the Race?"

Bridgette chuckled, "no, he's actually going through college right now!"

Noah actually looked surprised, "Oh, wow. I didn't expect that."

"Me neither," Bridgette admitted, "but I'm so proud of him!"

"Isn't that sweet?" Chris rolled his eyes, approaching the final red present, "now, for the final contestant from our first generation, we have…" He bent down to cut the ribbon. Notably, Duncan looked anxious.

Snip.

The top popped off, and out came…

"Ugh, I really got roped into another season, huh?" Gwen said dryly, standing up and dusting herself off. "I guess I really am a glutton for punishment." Noticeably the goth was slightly less pale than she had been in previous season, and while her hair was still dyed the same colors, it was longer, falling past her shoulders and to her upper back.

Duncan let out a nervous little laugh that didn't go unnoticed by Noah, the one sitting next to him. Noah gave him a weird look as Chris walked up to Gwen.

"Hey Gwen, glad to have you back," the host said warmly.

"Yeah, it's a real honor," Gwen said, rolling her eyes. Her eyes found the other campers. She smiled at Bridgette and Owen, looked indifferent at Noah and Izzy, and then saw Duncan.

The change was immediate. Her shoulders hunched up defensively and her face soured. Annoyed, she approached the others.

"Hey Gwen!" Bridgette greeted her friend, giving her a hug which Gwen gladly returned. The two were then glomped by Owen.

Once she had been released, she turned to Duncan, who was looking at her hesitantly.

"Hey Gwen," He said cautiously.

"Hey," she grunted, looking away.

The two elapsed into awkward silence, and Chris couldn't help but rub his hands together.

"Excellent," the host said mischievously, walking over to the green presents. "Time for the next batch of campers." He cut the first green ribbon off and the camper rose up.

"Brick McArthur, reporting for duty!" Brick barked as he immediately saluted. He scanned the six first-gen campers on the other side of the dock and raised his unibrow. "Wow, looks like there's some tough competition this time around!"

"You know it," Duncan smirked, punching his palm.

Brick joined the others at the Dock. "Bridgette, Noah, Izzy, Duncan, Owen, Gwen," he recited each of their names, never lowering his salute, "it shall be an honor to compete against you all."

Most of the others gave him weird looks, but Owen instantly gave him an exuberant, very much incorrect salute right back. "General Brick!" He barked, "I shall do my best, sir!" An annoyed Noah elbowed him gently in the ribs, and the fat boy dropped his salute.

"Hi everyone!" Came a chipper voice from the newly opened box. Zoey herself stepped out onto the docks. She still had her cherry red hair and flower, but her hair was longer and braided down her back.

"Hey girl!" Gwen greeted warmly, surprising some of the others.

"Gwen!" Zoey greeted, walking over and giving the girl a hug. "Hey everyone!" She greeted the others again, "oh I already said that, didn't I…oh well!" She giggled and stood between Brick and Gwen.

The third green present was opened, and the person within it front flipped out onto the dock.

"Sha-booyah!"

Several of the other contestants groaned.

There Lightning stood, sporting a full goatee.

"Lightning, welcome back!" Chris told him.

"Thanks Chris," Lightning grinned, "it's sha-good to be back!" He looked over at the others, "wassup, y'all? You ready for a kick ass competition?"

"Ready to kick your ass!" Izzy hollered, shaking her fist at him.

Lightning grinned, "Lightning accepts your challenge, crazy girl, you're going sha-down!"

Lightning walked over to the others and saw Zoey. "Oh, hey girl," Lightning said, walking up to her.

Zoey looked warily up at the uber-jock, but maintained eye contact. "Hi, Lightning." She said cautiously, "what's up?"

Lightning scratched the back of his head, suddenly looking a little awkward, "Lightning just wanted to…uh…apologize and stuff, for being such a mega jerk on our first sha-season."

Zoey looked pretty shocked by the apology, but recovered quickly, "Oh! Uh…that's okay, Lightning! Thank you for the apology!"

"When did you learn how to apologize?" Duncan added curiously.

Lightning stuck his chest out and thumped it, "Lightning's learned a lot over the last couple of years, mostly thanks to his sha-lovely momma back home. Lightning is ready to be a team player this time around! And maybe make some sha-friends!" He grinned at them and walked over to the far side of the dock beside Izzy.

"Is it just me," Noah whispered to Duncan, "or did he just get a lot more dangerous as a player?"

Duncan nodded solemnly. "Physical and social skills? Hope he's on my team."

Noah scratched his chin, "Hmm…"

Their attention was diverted to the next present, which was now open. "Great, back for another round of fun," came a nasally voice, "ugh, and looks like everyone back is a loser."

Gwen narrowed her eyes at the dirt farmer, "man, they really had to go and bring you back, didn't they."

Scott narrowed his eyes right back at her, "listen, coming back here isn't my idea of a good time, but you'd have to be a moron to turn down the chance at a million bucks." He crossed his arms and walked down the dock to stand with the others. He was promptly shoved into the water by Lightning.

"Hey!" The dirt farmer complained as he resurfaced in the chilly water, "what the heck was that for?"

"That's for kicking Lightning off in All-Stars!" Lightning frowned.

"Why wouldn't we have kicked you off? You were being a total dumbass!"

Lightning crossed his arms and huffed, "stupid Boney-Island fish…" he grumbled.

Chris snipped one of the last green presents, and an orange cloud emerged along with the confetti. Chris was left hacking and coughing as the contestant clambered out, seemingly unaffected.

"Ey, oh, what's up Total Drama peeps," Anne Maria smirked, taking out a can of spray paint from her cleavage and spraying her hair.

Noah stared at the girl in horror as she walked past Chris towards them, "it's like everything I hate in a person condensed into one," he whispered to Gwen, who snorted and nodded.

"Anne Maria! What's up!" Owen said happily, offering the girl a high five. Anne Maria accepted it and continued walking, and Owen was left to stare curiously at the orange smears of fake tan on his hand. He gave it a curious lick and gagged.

"Uh, hi Anne Maria," Zoey said awkwardly, remembering the girl's dislike for her in their debut season, "how's it going?"

"Hm? Oh hey Red," Anne Maria said, "your boyfriend coming back?"

"Oh, I don't think so," Zoey told her, "there's already three guys from our season here," she said, pointing at Lightning, Scott and Brick. "And besides, he and I are kind of on a break…"

"Really?" Duncan asked, raising an eyebrow, "the guy was crazy about you."

"I know!" Zoey said quickly, "And I still love him, but it was his idea. He's in intensive therapy to try and deal with his DID." At a few blank stares, she clarified, "Dissociative Identity Disorder, it's the new, better name for Multiple Personality Disorder. I'll be there for him when he gets better, though."

"Aw, that is so beautiful," Owen gushed, wiping a tear from his eye. "I think I'm gonna cry!"

Noah gave his big friend's back a few comforting pats, "Easy big guy, it'll be ok."

"And the final contestant from Revenge of the Island is…" Chris walked up to the final present and snipped it, "Jo!"

Gwen, Lightning, Scott and Duncan simultaneously groaned as the tough jockette emerged, smirking. "Back for another season of butt kicking," she said, glaring at the others, "looks like my competition might actually be tough." She walked down the dock, eyeing most of them with distaste, and finally stood next to Brick. "Long time no see, jarhead."

"Ma'am," Brick said stiffly, noticeably not saluting. Jo grinned at him as Chris approached the blue presents.

"Six more contestants left to reveal," Chris said, cutting the first ribbon and then holding up a needle with green liquid in it. "Just give me a second here," he bent down into the box and jabbed the needle into the person in it, making a few of the other contestants raise their eyebrows at him.

"Uh, what are you doing with that needle?" Scott asked nervously.

"No biggie, no biggie, just waking up one of our toughest contestants," Chris told him.

A loud yawn came from the box, and an ebony hand reached up and grabbed the side of the box. A drowsy Jasmine pulled herself up, bags under her eyes.

"We didn't want to deal with her claustrophobia, so we gave her a mild sedative," Chris explained to the others.

"Hey, how come I didn't get one of those!" Gwen asked, annoyed, "it wasn't pleasant for me in my box either!"

"You didn't ask for one," Chris shrugged, "and besides, your fear is being buried alive, not being in a box. No burial, all bueno, chica."

Noah rolled his eyes, "you are actually so obnoxious."

"Drugging a contestant like that isn't really ok…" Zoey said nervously, eyeing the still woozy Jasmine.

"No, it's okay guys," Jasmine said, straightening up and shaking her head to clear her mind, "I was on board with it. It would've been bloody hell for me staying in that box. Much nicer to take a little nap." She rose to her full, considerable height and glanced over everyone, "Is, uh…" her cheeks turned a little pink, "Shawn gonna be here?"

"You mean you don't know?" Jo asked, eyebrow raised. "Aren't you two, like, dating?"

"We are, but I cut a three month straight wilderness expedition short to be here, I hadn't had contact with him while we were out in the middle of nowhere," Jasmine explained, wringing her hands together anxiously.

"You'll just have to wait and see who is next," Chris teased, walking up to the next box.

Beardo rose from this box with a triumphant tune, giving the others a thumbs up.

"It's Beardo, everyone!" Chris told them.

"Yeah-heh-heh, awesome!" Owen cheered, "You're the best, dude!"

Beardo looked flattered and whispered out a timid "T-thanks, man."

Jasmine gave Beardo a warm smile and pat on the back as he walked over to them. "I know you weren't on my team, mate, but I caught the first episode on the reruns. I'll make sure you feel right at home!"

Beardo gave her a grateful smile, "thanks, Jasmine. Not opening up to y'all on that island is one of my biggest regrets. I went there to make friends, and I totally blew it."

"Blew it! Like KA-BOOM!" Izzy cheered, popping up behind Beardo and making the boy jump, "Explosivo likes you, compadre! Make some explosion noises!"

Beardo looked a little nervous, but made a couple of explosion sounds.

Izzy clapped, "BOOM BOOM!" And let out a giggle.

The next box was opened.

"Okay, hi everyone!" Came a nervous, yet hopeful voice. Sammy rose out of the box and smiled at everyone. Notably, she was not wearing her cheerleading outfit, and just wore a plain light blue shirt with khakis and normal shoes.

"Sammy!" Jasmine cheered, walking quickly over to the girl and giving her a rib-crushing hug to rival Owen's. "How've you been?"

"I've actually been really good," Sammy smiled, walking back towards the others with Jasmine, "I moved out of the house and met the cutest guy, and I've been working on getting my confidence back!"

"I'm glad to hear it, you needed to get away from your witch of a sister," Jasmine said.

"Yeah," Duncan added, "I've known some pretty messed up people, but your sister had some serious issues."

"Seriously," Gwen agreed, giving Duncan a slightly surprised look that he didn't catch.

"Aw, thanks you guys," Sammy beamed, "I'm just glad to put it all behind me…" she suddenly grew a little nervous, "Unless…she's not coming back here, is she?"

"You'll just have to wait and see!" Chris told them, wagging a finger as he approached the fourth blue present. He opened it up and dodged the burst of confetti.

"Alright!" Came a calm voice as a small girl leapt out of the box, "let's kick some butt! I lost last time but no way am I missing out on the money again!"

"Welcome back, Sky!" Chris said to the short, pretty girl.

"Hey Chris," Sky greeted back, doing a quick scan of all the other contestants, "hey Jasmine, hey Samey, hey Beardo…phew, no Dave, huh?"

"There's still two more dudes from your season," Anne Maria pointed out, "could be one of them. Hopefully not though, that kid was a scrub."

"You can say that again," Sky chuckled as she walked over to the other contestants. She stood next to Lightning and shot him a slightly bashful glance, "Uh, hey Lightning, I just wanted to say I'm a pretty big fan of yours!"

"Hm?" Lightning looked down at the short girl, "thanks, Shorty."

Sky looked a little put out by the nickname, but turned her attention to Sammy as she let out a cheer.

"That's three girls from our season!" She said excitedly, "that means no Amy!"

"No Amy indeed," Chris confirmed, "she was obnoxious even by our standards," he let out a rather mean chuckle, "seriously, I hope that girl got some help." He walked over to the second to last box.

"Not Dave…not Dave," Sky whispered.

"Shawn…c'mon Shawn," Jasmine whispered.

As it turned out, it was not Dave or Shawn. It was, instead, a hulking ginger farm boy.

"Hey everyone," Rodney greeted, using a massive paw to wipe confetti off his shoulders, "how's it going!"

"Oh jeez," Jasmine rolled her eyes, "not you again."

Rodney chuckled a little and walked down the dock, his big feet making the dock shake a little with each step. "I know, I was a total loser back on Pahkitew Island, but I've gotten better, I promise!"

"Oh yeah?" Jasmine didn't seem convinced, especially since Rodney's eyes were glued to the clouds. "How about you actually look at me and say it again."

Rodney let out a nervous giggle and looked down at Jasmine. He immediately flushed bright red and began to sweat. "See…" his voice sounded strained, and he took a couple deep breaths, "I just…gotta focus…and I can form sentences!" He tore his eyes away from Jasmine and his flush receded, "it doesn't help that all the ladies here are so attractive," he added, pouting.

"Mate, you are so weird," Jasmine sighed as she shook her head.

"I'm trying," Rodney defended himself, "it's hard work but I'm trying!"

"It seems you are," Sky admitted, "just try not to be creepy, ok?"

Rodney didn't look at her, but gave a thumbs up in her general direction. "You got it! I don't wanna be a creep…"

Most of the contestants from the first two generations were watching this exchange, feeling very awkward.

"Wow, and I thought I was weird," Izzy commented, turning to look at Chris with a raised eyebrow.

"And I thought our cast was bad," Scott said with a roll of his eyes.

"Where'd you find these clowns?" Anne Maria added, applying her fourth coat of bright red lipstick in the last ten minutes.

Chris shrugged, "I dunno, but enough chit-chat, we've got one more person left to introduce."

Both Jasmine and Sky turned back to look at the box.

"Oh god, what if it's Dave…" Sky winced.

"Or Topher," Samey added.

"Or Leonard," Jasmine groaned.

"Or Max!" All three repeated at the same time, giving each other terrified glances, "Please, please be Shawn," the three girls echoed, looking at the box.

The box opened…and no one came out.

"Huh?" Chris was confused and peered into the box. "HUH!?" He reached in and pulled out a sleeping intern. He tossed the intern roughly onto the dock, where he awoke groggily. "Intern," Chris said sternly, "what the heck happened?"

"I tried to get him, but he got the better of me," the intern said woozily, "said he didn't wanna get cramped into a dark place. Knocked me over the head and stuffed me in the box."

"Well yeah," Came a new voice from behind Chris, causing the host to jump and turn to the edge of the Dock by the water. Clambering out of the water and onto the Dock was a soaking wet Shawn.

"Shawn!" All the Pahkitew Island contestants cheered, very glad to have the survivalist over the alternative males.

"Hey guys," Shawn smiled at them before turning to Chris. "C'mon Chris, did you actually think I'd be okay with being confined like that?"

"You could've just been sedated," Chris protested, "you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Tchyeah, that sounds like a damn good way to wake up as a zombie!" Shawn scoffed, before turning to get a better look at the seventeen other campers at the Dock. His face broke into a huge grin. "Jasmine!" He ran towards her and leapt into her arms, and she caught him bridal style.

This caused a few snorts and mocking laughs from some of the others, but Bridgette, Zoey and Owen all let out audible "awww's".

They leaned in and shared a nice kiss. "I thought you were still going to be out in the wild!" The boy told her excitedly as she set him down.

"I cut it short to be here," Jasmine admitted, looking thoroughly excited to see the scruffy boy, "I didn't know if you were gonna be here, I'm so glad you are!"

"Me too," Shawn said, "I'm ready to win me another million dollars!"

Sky frowned at this, but Shawn and Jasmine were too busy looking at each other to notice.

"You'll have to get through me first," Jasmine said, giving him a playful noogie, which was easy considering their height difference.

Shawn readjusted his displaced beanie and just grinned, wrapping an arm around her waist as Chris walked down the dock towards the eighteen.

"And here we have our cast for this season," the host said jovially.

Everyone, especially the newer generations, eyed the host suspiciously. "I'm surprised you haven't blown us sky high yet," Jo said suspiciously.

"Or tried to kill us somehow," Sammy added.

Chris chuckled at that and stopped in front of them. "I actually wanted to talk to you guys about that." He turned to the Gen I campers, Owen and Duncan specifically, "you two made it far in both of the first two seasons, remember how I was then?"

The boys thought hard, "what, an egotistical jerk?" Duncan asked.

"Naw," Owen said, "he wasn't like that all the time. He was much more professional back then! And he had a playful side too!"

"What, like playful as in playing with your lives?" Sky asked, confused.

"No!" Owen proclaimed, "Chris was a pretty fun guy up until Season Four, honest!" He faltered, "then you did get kinda…mean."

Gwen snorted, remembering her time on All-Stars, "that's putting it lightly."

"I know, I know, but I have a reason for it," Chris told them, "While I admit I did get a little too into it at times, I was under producers orders to make challenges and everyday life more brutal for you guys." The host began to pace, "the challenges had to be upped to a 100 on the danger scale, your environment had to be as crappy as possible, and I was to be an omnipotent, malicious god presiding over your worthless lives!"

None of the campers looked too pleased at this description, but let the host continued his impromptu speech.

"But that's over," The host stopped pacing and turned to them, "the producers have finally agreed to let things go back to the way they were in the earlier seasons. The challenges will be tough but not ridiculous. Your accommodations will be mediocre but not horrific. Your food will be meager but not inedible." He put one hand behind his back and one outstretched, pointer finger pointing to the horizon in a heroic pose, "the drama shall come from the teens, and not try to be forcefully extracted via outside measures!" He let his hands drop and turned to look at the campers, who all looked pretty surprised.

There was silence for a few seconds before Scott spoke up, "So…no mutated sharks?"

"Nope, no radioactive nothing," Chris confirmed, "the island has been cleared ten times over."

"No winner's mansion?" Lightning asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope, in fact we'll be bunking TDA style, but more on that later." Chris said.

There was silence for a few more seconds as the campers digested this.

"Huh, this season might not actually be as bad I was worried it'd be," Bridgette said, a hint of optimism in her voice.

"Don't get deluded, it'll still be tough," Chris warned them, "and I'm still very much your host and the person in charge. But I won't be advocating your deaths at every turn…at least not publicly," he finished with a teasing tone to his voice. His demeanor changed to serious, "so, we've added a couple things to the Island, so let's go show them to you. Also, the Confessional is now open for use!"

(Confessional: Gwen.)

"So far this doesn't seem too bad," Gwen admits before sighing heavily, "it just really sucks that Duncan is back. We left off on pretty bad terms. I haven't even seen the guy since All-Stars when I broke up with him and he got carted off to prison. Literally the last words we said to each other was four years ago when I said 'it's over'….I just hope he leaves me alone," she shakes her head, "I am done with relationships on this show, and I'm just here to make some cash."

(End Confessional: Gwen.)

(Confessional: Sky.)

Sky pumps her fists, "so you're telling me this season will be easier than my debut season?" She grins, "alright! I came second last time on a grueling island with nothing, so this'll be a breeze!" Her face grows slightly more serious, "thought the competition this season does look pretty stiff. Basically everyone is a veteran or a threat in some way or another," she taps her chin, "except for maybe Beardo, but who knows what kinda hidden talents that guy could have!"

(End Confessional: Sky.)

The group was about to leave the dock, but Chris stopped short, causing a bunch of the campers to bump into one another. "Oh wait! We gotta take the season cast photo, I almost forgot! Everyone, to the end of the Dock!"

"WOOHOO! Cast photo time, yeah-heh!" Owen screamed, racing to the other end of the Dock.

"Ugh, I hate group photos," Sky frowned, "I always have to sit up front because I'm so short."

Lightning rubbed his goatee, "Hmm, Lightning has a plan!" Sky gave him a curious look as they all grouped up.

"Now group up," Chris said, pulling out a camera. "Nice, almost got it, and...ok!"

Click.

Chris looked at the photo:

The campers were in three rows, two standing and one sitting. Anne Maria was lying on the very left side of the Dock doing a signature sexy pose with one of her hands behind her head and a seductive gaze. Scott was next to her sitting criss-cross-applesauce, smirking deviously at the camera. Sammy was on her knees next to Scott, smiling shyly at the camera. Izzy was next to her, flashing a 'Rock on' sign with her signature crazy grin. The last person sitting down was Beardo, who was also smiling at the camera. The second row consisted of the shorter people that chose to stand. Duncan was on the far left of this row, shooting a side glance at Gwen, who was next to him. The goth looked a little sulky and also had her arms crossed. Bridgette was next to Gwen, smiling in her usual laid-back way at the camera as she gave it finger guns. Brick was next to the surfer, and had wanted to do another salute for his photo, but he had been brought into a headlock by Owen. The big guy, who was in the center of the photo, had recreated his original pose by headlocking Brick to his left, and Noah to his right. Noah looked a mixture between amused and annoyed. Shawn was next to Noah. Behind him, Jasmine had his arms wrapped around his waist and her chin resting on the top of his head, and both were grinning at the camera. Zoey was the second to last person on the right, this time opting for a more fierce grin, her confidence no doubt brought on by her previous high placings. On the far right, Jo gave the camera a confident and haughty look. The back consisted of Rodney on the far left, who was awkwardly looking at the clouds to avoid blushing in the photo. Jasmine was in the middle, arms wrapped around her boyfriend from behind, and Lightning, who was grinning as Sky cheered from atop his shoulders.

"Looks great, guys," Chris complimented, "now, let's get on with the island!"

"Alright, so most of you are already familiar with the amphitheater, elimination area, and the Mess Hall," Chris announced as they walked through the campground, "but one new addition is the Tuck Shoppe!"

"The Tuck Shoppe?" Bridgette repeated, confused, "but that was there in Island, wasn't it? Granted it was just a shoddy tent with some candy bars…"

"It was," Chris agreed, "but it was shut down fairly early on. We've made it a permanent addition to the island."

Sure enough, they approached a rather shoddy looking store in a log cabin style. It looked very similar to the Mess Hall but was slightly smaller, and had the words "Ye Olde Tucke Shoppe" painted crudely in big red leaders on the sign above the door. It was located closer to the Docks and the elimination area, and was the first building you would see if you arrived on the Dock and walked inland.

"Winners of each challenge will get some "Wawanakwa Bux" to spend here," Chris told them, "and everyone gets a few Bux at the start of each challenge. Your amounts will not be tracked, but you can use it to buy stuff here."

"Wait a second," Rodney said as they all entered and began to look around, "is that…booze?"

Sure enough, there was a large shelf overflowing with alcohol. Beer, wine, and spirits of different kinds were stocked full.

"Yup! You're all 21 now, that's legal drinking age anywhere in the world!" Chris told them, "if you guys wanna relax with a drink after a tough challenge and dramatic elimination ceremony, who am I to stop you?"

"Oh and that's all, is it?" Noah said cynically.

"Well, people do tend to get a little more dramatic when they've been drinking," Chris admitted, not looking very sheepish at all. In fact, the host was grinning.

"At least he's honest about it," Sammy muttered.

"Hey, we've experienced worse ways for him to try and stir up drama," Scott said obnoxiously, "I'll take a good ol' beer over toxic waste any day."

Most of the contestants made noises of agreement.

"Now, despite it's shoddy appearance, we do have a decent security system in place. You will be caught if you try and steal something from here," Chris said, with a pointed look at Duncan, "is everybody clear?"

Duncan noticed the look and snapped his fingers sheepishly, a guilty smirk on his face. Gwen rolled her eyes.

"There is also an assortment of snacks and toys here," Chris said, gesturing to an aisle with things like frisbees, soccer balls, playing cards, and more toys and fun-havers. Further down the store were bags of chips, cookies, and candies. Owen had to be forcibly restrained by Jasmine and Shawn before he hurtled into the aisle, drool streaming from his mouth.

"Ooh, I like this," Izzy said, looking at a small bundle of fireworks. She reached out to take it, but Brick smacked her hand out of the way.

"No stealing," he said sternly, ignoring her annoyed look.

"I just wanna see it," the redhead pouted.

"That's everything here," Chris said, and everyone left the Tucke Shoppe.

(Confessional: Noah.)

Noah has his arms crossed and is looking sternly at the camera, "Izzy must be kept away from the alcohol at all costs. The thought of a drunk Izzy literally makes me start sweating in terror," he raises his arms and shows the sweat stains beginning to form under his pits, "See?!"

(End Confessional: Noah.)

(Confessional: Anne Maria.)

Anne Maria flicks her hair, and the familiar metallic gong rings out through the Confessional, "Sure, it ain't no movie set or fancy jet, but at least there ain't no more toxic waste all over the place," she waves her hands around exaggeratedly, "and make no mistake, I ain't quitting this time no matter what. I'm here to win, got that?"

(End Confessional: Anne Maria.)

"And the last building I need to show you guys is the Rec Center," Chris said, walking up to yet another shoddy looking building. This one was situated almost exactly between the Mess Hall and sleeping area.

They walked in and Chris flicked the light switch on. The style was very in keeping with Wawanakwa, as everything was very worn out and beachy. There was a pool table, ping pong table, a mini fridge, an old TV with an old-school video game system and a VCR.

"Everything's outdated and shoddy," Jasmine noted, "at least you guys are staying in theme."

"I know, right?" Chris agreed.

"So I'm guessing this place is for winner's only?" Bridgette asked.

"Nope, anyone is able to use this," Chris told them. "I wasn't kidding when I said we've upped the accommodations a little."

"Emphasis on a little," Jo snorted, "this isn't anything like that winner's hotel in All-Stars, all the crap here is old and worn down!"

She was quickly elbowed in the side by Scott. "This place is a palace," the poor farmer said in awe, looking around, "and we get to use this all the time?!"

The host seemed amused by Scott's child-like wonder. "Yes indeed. Now, let's get to the sleeping arrangements."

The group walked outside and towards where the old cabins used to be. Instead of the cabins, though, there were trailers just like the ones used in Total Drama Action.

"You guys won't be split by teams, just boys and girls." Chris explained.

"Aw man, it's gonna be cramped with nine dudes in a trailer," Rodney said nervously.

"Especially with Farticus over here," Duncan joked, and Owen giggled sheepishly at his punk friend.

"Well, only eight of you," Shawn said, "I'll just find a nice tree."

"Actually, you all have to sleep in the trailer," Chris said, "I can't really elaborate why but it'll be necessary for a few challenges."

Shawn did not look happy at all about this, but Duncan walked up to the scruffy boy and clapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, if it makes you feel any better, there's an escape hatch in the roof."

Shawn blinked, "that…actually does make me feel better." He admitted, "how'd you know that?"

"I slept in those crappy trailers for a whole season," Duncan smirked, remembering his victory in Total Drama Action, "you're not the only one that likes to take note of all the exits in a place, let's just put it that way."

Shawn nodded and everyone returned their attention back to Chris.

"Why the switch from the cabins to the trailers?" Noah asked, "not that I'm complaining."

"Well, it was much easier to put two trailers in than adding a third cabin," Chris told them, and the implication of those words hit the teens at the same time.

"Three cabins?" Lightning repeated, scrunching his face up, "wait, so that means…"

"Three teams," Noah muttered, hand on his chin, "Interesting…"

"Exciting!" Owen and Izzy cheered at the same time.

"This'll be interesting," Jasmine agreed with Noah.

"Yes indeed, there will be three teams this season," Chris confirmed, "but that's not all, there's some special requirements for them!"

This caught all of their attention.

"Each team will have a temporary team captain to choose the teams!" Chris told them, "and the real twist is, you can only have one person per gender per generation per team!"

This sentence was very confusing for most of the campers, even the ones that weren't stupid, and the next fifteen seconds was spent in silence as they tried to figure it out.

Chris sighed, "fine, let me spell it out for you. Each team can only have one dude and one chick from each generation of campers. So each team will have a boy and girl from TDI, a boy and girl from TDRI, and a boy and girl from TDPI."

"That's actually pretty interesting," Noah admitted, "nice twist."

"I know, right?" Chris smirked, "I am pretty good."

"Yeah, when you're not trying to kill us," Sky mumbled.

"So, who're these captains going to be?" Rodney asked, looking a little hopeful.

"Well it just so happens that we have three runner ups here, each from a different generation," Chris explained, "so…step up…Gwen, Zoey, and Sky!" Two of the girls stepped up, but Sky remained in line with the others.

"Uh, Sky? Let's go," Chris told her.

"Um, if it's all the same to you Chris, I'd rather not pick my team," Sky said nervously.

Chris looked surprised, "Really? Why? I would've thought, being so competitive, you would've loved to pick your team!"

"I have my reasons," Sky told him.

Chris looked a little stumped, "Um…I mean, well…"

"I'll fill in," Jasmine offered, "I'm the next highest Pahkitew contestant that didn't win," she said with a proud look at Shawn, who blushed.

Chris scratched his head, "Oooookay, I guess that works? Gwen, Zoey and…Jasmine, come on up, I guess."

The three girls all stepped up. "So you'll each pick your teams," Chris continued, "but first, to add a little bit of fun, I'll be putting one person on each of your teams first!"

The three girls gasped.

(Confessional: Gwen.)

Gwen pleads to the sky, hands clasped, "Please, please don't put Duncan on my team."

(End Confessional: Gwen.)

(Confessional: Duncan.)

Duncan looks to the heavens with a pleading look, hands extended. "Please, please put me on Gwen's team!"

(End Confessional: Duncan.)

"So for Gwen's team, let's put…Duncan on it!" Chris announced, a familiar devilish smirk on his face.

Both Gwen and Duncan gasped, and Bridgette shot a sympathetic glance Gwen's way.

"Duncan, join your team," Chris said, and Duncan approached Gwen with a slightly nervous smile.

"Hey, guess we're teammates again," Duncan said.

Gwen rolled her eyes and turned away from the punk, and he gave the back of her head a hurt look.

"Zoey, let's give you…Rodney."

Zoey didn't look particularly thrilled about this, but didn't comment as the larger of the two gingers competing walked over to her.

"As for Jasmine, let's give you…Owen. Yeah, that'll be good," Chris grinned.

"Alright, new teammie, let's rock this!" Owen boasted, walking up to a smiling Jasmine and giving her a high five.

"Fine by me, Chris," Jasmine shrugged, "Owen's shown more than enough that he's a good competitor."

Owen blushed, "aw, stop it you!"

Chris rubbed his hands together, "alright, now you ladies are free to pick your teams. Remember, you can only have one person from each category, so choose wisely! Jasmine, you're up first!"

"Shawn, of course," Jasmine said instantly, and Shawn grinned as he ran over to join his teammate. The two hugged and Owen high-fived Shawn.

"Zoey, you're next. Then Gwen, and the cycle just goes like that," Chris told them.

Zoey looked over all the available contestants. "I'll choose…Sky."

Sky grinned and walked over to join Zoey and Rodney. "Badass chicks like us have to stick together," Sky said. Zoey smiled and nodded in agreement.

Gwen looked at everyone, "Well since I can't choose Bridgette, I'll choose…Sammy, I guess. She seems nice and normal."

Sammy looked surprised at being chosen so early but smiled and walked over to Gwen and Duncan. "I'm looking forward to getting to know you guys," she said politely.

It was now Jasmine's turn to pick again. "So I can't pick Beardo or Noah," she mused as she looked over anyone, "let's go with Bridgette then, eh?"

Bridgette smiled and walked over to them. "Yay! I was hoping I'd get picked for this team."

Zoey turned to Rodney and Sky, "you guys got any preference on who I should pick?"

"Pick Lightning!" Sky said quickly.

"Lightning?" Zoey repeated, a little confused. "Uh…I dunno…he and I haven't always gotten along too well…"

"He does seem like he'd be a useful asset to the team," Rodney pointed out, "I mean, with you and Sky's skills and Lightning and mines strength, we'll be pretty hard to beat!"

"That is true…" Zoey conceded, "oh…I guess so…" she raised her voice, "We choose Lightning!"

Lightning smirked and walked over to them. "Alright! It's about time Lightning was sha-picked! It's unbelievable that he wasn't first pick!"

Zoey grimaced, but Sky gave her an assuring pat on the back.

Gwen looked at the others left. She couldn't pick Noah or Izzy, and that left Beardo, Scott, Brick, Jo, and Anne Maria.

"What do you know about him?" Gwen asked Sammy, pointing to Beardo.

"He's nice," Sammy assured her, "and I think he's willing to try and make friends with everyone and be a good teammate."

"Don't pick him," Duncan advised, "he looks weak and lame. Go for someone like Brick, at least the dude has muscle," Gwen glared at him, and he fell silent.

"I'm picking Beardo," Gwen said with a spiteful look at Duncan. The punk rolled his eyes as Beardo awkwardly made his way over.

"Actually, you'd have to have picked him anyways," Noah told them, "Jasmine already picked Shawn and Zoey has Rodney. He was the only Pahkitew dude left."

Gwen blinked, "oh, yeah."

Jasmine looked at the rest of the campers still available. "Brick, get over here," she told him.

"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" Brick saluted.

"Alright, we have all the muscle we need," Zoey said to herself, "and while none of us are exactly dumb, none of us are super smart either…I pick Noah!"

Noah smirked as he joined her team, "excellent choice, my dear. Excellent choice."

Zoey giggled, "Well, you were the only TDI guy left, so you'd end up on my team sooner or later."

"I guess I'll go with…Jo," the goth finally said, not looking too happy about her choice. She didn't have much option though, as it was either her or Anne Maria.

"Alright, that means you're with us, Anne Maria," Jasmine said, not looking too pleased either about having the Jersey Girl on her team.

"We get Izzy then," Zoey said, also looking a little nervous.

"Ugh, and that leaves Scott with us," Gwen said, slapping her face with her palm.

Chris took center stage again with a low whistle. "Wow, these are some interesting teams! We have:

Team One: Gwen, Duncan, Sammy, Beardo, Jo, and Scott!

Team Two: Zoey, Lightning, Noah, Izzy, Sky, and Rodney!

And Team Three: Jasmine, Shawn, Brick, Anne Maria, Bridgette, and Owen!"

"Do we get to name ourselves?" Owen asked excitedly, rubbing his chubby hands together.

"Nah, that pleasure belongs to me," Chris smirked, rubbing his hands together.

"Prepare for three variations of 'Team Chris is Really Really Really Really Hot'," Noah snarked.

"Nah, that would be hilarious, but these team names are gonna be memorable!" The host paced back and forth in front of the campers and surveyed them, "Hmm," he stopped first in front of Zoey, Lightning, Sky, Rodney, Noah, and Izzy, "you guys will be called…Team Alpha!"

A gold circle appeared next to them. On it was emblazoned a capital A, and there were laurels of victory entwined all around it.

"Oh great, you might as well call us Team Victory 2.0," Noah groaned.

"Nah, you guys don't have DJ here to curse you," Chris grinned, "the only cursed stuff here is on Boney Island."

"Besides," Zoey added optimistically, "we didn't name ourselves, so it's not like it could be a jinx!"

"Sha-yeah, this team is gonna own!" Lightning hooted.

Chris approached the team of Jasmine, Shawn, Bridgette, Owen, Anne Maria, and Brick. "You guys shall be known as…Team Oddball!"

A dark purple circle appeared next to them. On it was a lighter purple, cartooney smiley face with crazy, bugged out eyes.

"Oddball?" Jasmine repeated, offended, "What the hell?"

"It's true," Chris defended himself, "You're an outback survivalist freak, Brick is all military gung-ho, Owen's a fart machine, I don't even have to explain Shawn and Anne Maria," he turned to Bridgette, "and…well, I guess Bridgette is pretty normal. She did French-kiss a pole that one time, though."

Bridgette flushed in anger, "Shut up, Chris! That was a long time ago."

"I know, I know," Chris said, not looking very intimidated by the skinny surfer as he walked over to the last team. "As for you guys, you'll be known as Team Nuclear!"

A sunset orange circle appeared to them. On it was a huge mushroom cloud explosion that was a little lighter orange than its background.

"Nuclear?" Duncan repeated before he shrugged, "Meh, that's kinda cool, I'll take it."

"Why Nuclear?" Jo asked, suspicious.

"I'm glad you asked, Jo!" Chris told her, "with Duncan and Gwen's awkward past baggage," Duncan was shown looking awkwardly at Gwen while she frowned and turned away, "Sneaky Scott being all dirtbaggy and scummy," Scott was shown rubbing his hands together and chuckling darkly to himself, "Beardo's social anxiety," Beardo was shown sweating profusely, "and your bossy, annoying, obnoxious, smelly…" as Chris continued to insult her, Jo's face got redder and redder and she began to grind her teeth.

"Mean spirited, overconfident," Chris continued to tick off his fingers, "arrogant, bad hair, got ousted by a weakling…"

"Alright! Shut up!" Jo shouted at him.

"I think I've made my point," Chris smiled, "wait, what was my point again? I can't remember, I got too carried away with insulting Jo…"

The jockette cracked her knuckles, "you better watch your mouth."

Chris held his hands up in surrender, "anyways, you guys are called Team Nuclear because you're basically just a nuclear reactor of drama waiting to meltdown," he scratched his chin, "oh, and you guys also have Sammy, but I doubt she'll add much, drama-wise."

The blonde in question chuckled shyly and shrugged, "I'm fine with that. I had enough drama last time I was here."

The host rolled his eyes. "Well that's lame. Anyways, your team names have been 'Chris'tened: Team Alpha, Team Oddball, and Team Nuclear!"

"So when's our first challenge or whateva?" Anne Maria asked impatiently, "I'm ready to get this show on the road."

"Well first you need to move into your trailers and unpack your luggage," Chris told them.

"Yeah, where is our luggage?" Sky asked.

As if on cue, a big osprey plane zoomed overhead, and eighteen suitcases were thrown out to land in a heap next to the contestants.

"Oh…well I guess that answers that," Sky said.

"Unpack and settle." Chris told them, "Lunch is being served at the Mess Hall in an hour, and then we'll have our fist challenge after that."

(Confessional: Jo.)

Jo frowns at the camera, "if that greased up old prick thinks he can get away with publicly insulting me, he's got another thing coming!" A sadistic grin begins to form on her face, "I'll make him pay for that eventually…I dunno when or how, but I will!"

(End Confessional: Jo.)

(Confessional: Rodney.)

Rodney taps his large fingers together, a little nervous. "I came back for the cash and I do not wanna get distracted by girls this time around…but why do all three ladies on my team have to be such mega hotties?" His gaze gets a little dreamy, "Zoey with that cherry red hair, Sky all petite and lithe, and Izzy with her free spirit." He heaves a great sigh, but snaps out of it. "No, Rodney! Focus!"

(End Confessional: Rodney.)

The nine boys walked up the trailer.

"Who gets the solo bunk?" Scott asked as they all walked into the trailer.

The trailer was just like it had been in Total Drama Action. Five bunk beds were built into the walls in the far end of the trailer. There was a sink and a dusty shelf with equally dusty drinking glasses on it, and the remaining space was taken up by a big oaken table. There were, not coincidentally, 9 crappy folding lawn chairs of different colors and styles scattered around the table.

"Oooh, ooh, Beardo, let's bunk together, dude!" Owen said, friendly as always as he walked up to the chubby black boy, "we can stay up late and tell stories to each other, and eat candy!"

Beardo smiled at him, "Alright, sounds fine with me."

"Hold on guys," Shawn said, walking over to the beds and examining them, "Looks like Chris had other ideas in mind." He pointed at a welded plaque on the bed, and there were two names on it. The first was Duncan. Under that, there was a line, assumedly meant to symbolize that Duncan would be on top. The name under that was Scott.

"Ugh, great," Duncan drawled, glaring at the ginger boy, who glared right back.

"Ooh! Who's Lightning with?" Lightning asked, running over and searching each bed until he found his name. "Lightning's on the bottom here, and he's bunking with…Brick." The jock frowned and turned to look at Brick. "You didn't bring that sha-obnoxious alarm clock with you this time, right?"

"Worry not, cadet, my clock is at home." Brick told him as he walked over to his new bed.

"Pfft, Lightning would not be a cadet in the army," he corrected, "he'd be like…a General! A Mega General! A Stupendous Super Mega General!"

As Brick began to lecture Lightning about how those were not in fact real military titles, Noah located his bunk. "Looks like I'm with you, Farmer Brown."

"Cool, eh." Rodney shrugged.

"Yay! We're bunkmates anyways!" Owen cheered. Beardo gave him a 'ding ding' and a thumbs up.

"I'm solo, nice," Shawn smiled, "and my bunk is close to the escape hatch!" He looked up at said hatch and stood on his suitcase. He easily unlatched the small metal door and opened it up.

"Hey, that's a nice way to get fresh air in!" Rodney observed, breathing deeply as if to emphasize his point.

"Yeah, God knows we'll need that with Owen in here," Noah said dryly, and the fat boy giggled.

"We should probably check the Tucke Shoppe for a box fan or something to put in the window," Owen said sheepishly, "y'know, create a ventilation system for my gas…"

Scott smirked, "maybe we can direct it towards the girls trailer."

"No way," Brick protested, "why would we do that?!"

Scott shrugged, "cause it's funny?"

"While it may be funny," Duncan admitted, "Army Boy is right. We all have girls on our team, and the last thing we want to do is piss them off by subjecting them to Owen's fumes."

Pfffhhtbbbttt.

"Aw, dude!" Lightning waved his hand in front of his face. "Not cool!"

"Sorry, I couldn't help it!" Owen said before he tooted again. "Oh no, something's coming!" he raced to his suitcase and tore it open. Noah, for some reason, ran to one of the drawers and yanked it open. "Where is it?!" Owen pleaded with his suitcase as he began hurling clothes out over his shoulder. Somehow, they all managed to land perfectly in the drawer Noah had opened, and Owen finally found his prize. He straightened from his suitcase and held up his prize: A roll of toilet paper.

"Uh, don't they have TP here?" Beardo asked, suddenly looking scared.

"I'm sure they do," Owen said, unrolling the toilet paper, "but this is my custom made special 32-ply toilet paper! It's really the only stuff that can keep up with me." Brick was shown looking nauseous, "and it's super comfy!" Owen gave the TP a quick nuzzle and giggled before his stomach rumbled ominously. "Uh-oh…gotta go!" And in a flash, the fat boy was gone.

"Man, that guy is strange," Scott said, shaking his head as he began to unpack his suitcase.

"Pfft, you're telling me," Noah said, "at least you didn't have to put up with it for two years on a bunch of different reality shows."

"Stuff it, dweeb," Duncan told him, "Owen's your friend, don't try and deny it."

"He is my friend," Noah shot back, "but it doesn't mean he isn't hard to live with."

"Settle down, soldiers," Brick said.

The boys quieted down and continued to unpack.

(Confessional: Owen.)

The Confessional is filled with noxious green fumes. "I couldn't remember where the bathrooms were," Owen admitted, "and I also kinda ran outta time…I hope Chris isn't too mad that I just destroyed the Confessional…" The door suddenly opens and Chris pokes his head in, a clothespin attached to his nose and a frown on his face. Owen screams in alarm.

"You're lucky we added plumbing to the Confessional this season," Chris told him angrily, reaching behind the toilet to press a button. The sounds of flushing can be heard, and the green fumes begin to dissipate.

"Ohhh, so that's what that splashing was," Owen said, "I just thought it started out as a liquid and then got solid." At Chris's weird look, Owen adds defensively, "Hey, it's more common than you think!"

"Uhhh…no. No it isn't." Chris said flatly, retracting his head. "And don't do this again!"

(End Confessional: Owen.)

"Ergh, this trailer is kind of cramped," Jasmine winced, "at least I got the top bunk."

Their trailer was literally identical to the boys, tables, sink, shelves and chairs. The only difference were the names engraved on the beds.

"It's not cramped," Jo said from the bed underneath her, "you're just freakishly tall!"

"Hey, leave Jasmine alone," Sammy defended her.

"It's just a fact, Wonder Twin," Jo told her, "I'm not bashing on her."

"Just calm down, guys," Bridgette pleaded, on her bunk above Zoey.

Jo threw her hands up in disgust, "I'm calm! I'm not even yelling!"

"Yeah but you talk all aggressive and stuff!" Izzy chimed in from her bunk above Anne Maria, "You're all," she dropped her tone and bared her teeth, which were suddenly pointy, "You! You're too tall! Ugh, Mean Names! Ugh!"

"I do not sound like that," Jo protested.

"See, there it is again!" Izzy said excitedly.

Jo groaned and rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"All y'all just need to shut it," Anne Maria said, finishing putting the last of her things inside her drawer. "I do not want to hear you guys all squabbling and making all kinda noise like some city pigeons!"

Sky, Jasmine and Sammy all looked at each other.

(Confessional: Sammy.)

"Wow, everyone from the other seasons are so…argumentative with each other," Sammy sighs, rubbing her arm. "At least Sky and Jasmine are here, they're awesome. Shawn is cool too, and Beardo seems like a nice guy. Rodney is…well he's Rodney, but I think he means well." She taps her chin, "I think being stuck with Amy while I was on Pahkitew Island didn't let me see that, all in all, most people from our season were pretty nice!" She smiles gratefully, "I'm so glad to be back here without Amy."

(End Confessional: Sammy.)

(Confessional: Jo.)

Jo growls, "so far this sucks! Everyone's just making fun of me! That's supposed to be my job!"

(End Confessional: Jo.)

Everyone had finished unpacking and were now dining on food at the Mess Hall.

"Wow, this food brings back some weird nostalgia." Gwen remarked as she ate her mediocre meal. "Like, really weird."

"Really?" Owen asked, finishing his fourth plate, "It only brings back good memories for me! Total Drama Island was awesome!"

"Not really," Noah drawled.

"You only say that cause you were kicked out so early, Short Stuff," Anne Maria said dismissively. Noah glared at her. "What? It's true."

"I know it's true," Noah shot back, "it's because it's true that I have such bad memories of this place. At least in World Tour I got to actually compete again."

"Before Alejandro booted you out," Scott mocked, "y'know, the guy who's better than you in pretty much every way?"

"Shut up, Scott," Zoey frowned.

"Mock me all you want, dirt-face," Noah snapped, "at least I didn't get so messed up I had to spend months in some trauma chair."

Scott flushed and paled at the same time, a rather odd look for the boy, and he slammed his fork against the table. "Say that again." He growled.

Noah scoffed and leaned back in his seat, "you don't scare me. Baby bunnies scare me more than you do. Hell, even Bridgette scares me more than you do, and she's Ms. Crunchy Granola Happiness."

"Pfft, you've obviously never been there when she plays poker," Duncan muttered under his breath.

"Hey, leave me out of this," Bridgette said, though she did look a little amused at Noah's jibe.

"Would you all shut up," Gwen snapped, startling a few of the others, "aren't we a little old for all this petty squabbling?"

Noah, however, seemed to be on a roll. "We're not forty, Gwen, we're twenty-one. Just because you've decided you're 'too cool to argue' doesn't mean the rest of us are onboard."

"I'm not gonna rise to your petty insults, Noah."

"Man, you all need to shut up!" Lightning whined, "Lightning is just trying to sha-eat his meal, and he's gotta listen to you all whining and complaining and just generally being annoying. Goth Girl is right, ain't y'all a little old for this?" He glared down at them all, and a few hung their heads in shame.

Jo, however, rolled her eyes. "You're weak, Lightning," she taunted, hoping to bait the boy into disproving his own point.

Lightning scoffed, "oh yeah?" He stood up, swallowing the bait hook, line and sinker, "Well you're just a stupid head!"

"Nice insult, toddler-toes!"

Shawn and Jasmine shared a look with each other as Jo and Lightning descended into increasingly juvenile insults. "I think I can see why Chris didn't need to go to such extreme measure with these guys," the zombie boy whispered to his girlfriend.

"I see what you mean," Jasmine said gravely. "They've all got short tempers, eh?" They both looked over to see Sky and Brick entering the argument between Jo and Lightning, Sky taking Lightning's side and Brick trying to play mediator.

Anne Maria was now yelling at Rodney because she thought she saw him check out her chest, and the farm boy was mumbling nonsense as he defended himself from getting sprayed in the eyes by her hairspray.

Izzy had taken advantage of the chaos to throw a bowl of paste at Duncan, who was now swearing profusely and struggling to pry the bowl off him while Izzy pelted him with peas and corn.

Chris chose that moment to enter the hall, "Alright campers," he started, but stopped when he saw the chaos that was unfolding in front of him. Noah, Gwen, Zoey and Scott were all having a shouting match with each other, though it was mostly Gwen and Scott doing the yelling while Noah threw insults and Zoey glared at Scott, with Sammy and Bridgette trying to play peacemakers. Anne Maria was still attacking Rodney and Izzy was continuing to harass Duncan. Jo, Lightning, Brick and Sky were having the argument equivalent of 5-year olds, and Beardo was panicking and making siren noises, just adding to all the chaos. The only ones not involved were the alarmed looking survivalist couple and Owen, who was now on plate number seven.

"Whoa," Chris grinned, turning to the camera, "I knew we picked the right cast for this season!" He pulled out an airhorn and let it loose, causing all the campers to shut up and cover the ears. After a good ten seconds of ear-piercing hell, the host let up and lowered the horn. "Alrighty then, are you campers ready to listen, or do you wanna go back to screaming at each other?"

"Ooh, ooh! Let's go back too screaming at each other!" Izzy hooted before rounding on Owen, "YAAH!"

"AAH!" Owen replied, terrified. He let out a scared burp that wafted on to Anne Maria.

"YEEEACHHH!" She shrieked, searching her pockets for some perfume to wash the stink away.

"Enough already!" Chris shouted, though he was still grinning at all the drama. "It's time for your first challenge!"

All the contestants stopped their glaring and bickering to turn to the host.

The competition was about to begin, and they were ready.

Team Alpha: Zoey, Lightning, Sky, Rodney, Izzy, Noah.

Team Oddball: Jasmine, Shawn, Bridgette, Owen, Anne Maria, Brick.

Team Nuclear: Gwen, Duncan, Jo, Scott, Sammy, Beardo.

Eliminated: N/A.

Alright, there's part one of the episode! I think most of the episodes will just take up one chapter, though there might be a few that are split into two. I don't wanna drop too many 15k+ chapters, better to split 'em up I think.

- What do you think of the cast? Anyone you wish was competing instead? Why?

- Who do you think has 'early boot' written all over them?

- Is anyone going to get totally drunk and embarrass themselves? (Hopefully!)

I'll catch you guys on the next update. Ciao!