A little idea that hit me while reading a Chocolate Factory fanfic; I got to wondering what would have happened if Violet hadn't eaten the three course meal gum, and someone had instead asked why Mr Wonka had said not to. And Mr Wonka told them! AU Wilder Wonka. Something lighthearted to relieve the serious nature of my other short story.

Prologue Part One

Behind the door, cloaked in shadows, and otherwise dressed to the nines in frock coat and top hat, Willy stood in the Factory entrance hall. He held his cane in one hand; the other resting at his side. This was it! Today was the day! This was the day he had been preparing for, ever since the day he realised that he needed an heir. All those months of planning were culminating in this grand finale!

He and James Wilkinson had spent a long time on this, working out just how Willy might find someone for the role: someone Willy liked; someone who would fit into the Factory. In the end, it had been James who suggested this plan. Generally speaking, Willy was the ideas man, but James was the 'people person', and to find an heir, by its very nature, meant rubbing shoulders with people. Willy hated the thought of this, but being unable to find something he liked better, and feeling the constraint of time, Willy had eventually conceded the point. The plan had one thing going for it: it kept the time with the outsiders to a minimum. All he was waiting on now was the clock striking ten, and he could get this show on the road. Today, the children would face the tour.

For much of this day Willy would be putting on an act, to see how the candidates reacted. How else was he supposed to discover their potential, or the lack thereof? Willy silently admitted to himself that he needed to put on the act for other reasons as well. It had been years since he had left the safe shelter of the Factory. Today he would be on view for the whole world to see. Knowing they wouldn't be meeting the real man was comforting.

He looked down at the small person holding onto his trouser leg in her excitement. Mampa had been just as involved in all of this as he was. She had let go, briefly, a few seconds ago, when he had handed her the book he had been reading: A Little Princess. Given his cynical view of this whole affair, the story was a welcome antidote. It helped remind him that there was hope. Willy smiled, remembering the evening the young Oompa-Loompas' had press-ganged him into reading them the story. Sometimes, those little imps… But the story was surprisingly good. It was through her very adversity that Sara had flourished. She had stuck to the values she had been taught as a young child, no matter what. Every time she was derided, Sara used that as a reason to fight harder.

The story inspired hope. Here was a girl who had persevered despite everything conspiring to keep her down. She was a loving child whose mother had died, and whose father, Captain Crewe, at the very start of the story, had plucked her from their home in India and put her in a boarding school in faraway England. Although her father loved her dearly, he was too far away to have much contact with her, and was often consumed by his work. He made up for this by ordering that his daughter be given all kinds of luxuries, to the point that it was astonishing the girl didn't become unbearably spoilt. On the contrary, she was friendly and generous to all she came across— befriending and teaching the servant girl Becky; welcoming the younger children; and encouraging the classmate who always got confused over her work.

Partway through the story, Captain Crewe was told the diamond mine he had invested in had failed. He succumbed to a fever, and died thinking he had lost everything. Back in England, the head of the school was horrified at all the expenses they had borne for his daughter, the now parentless pauper, and immediately relegated her to the station of 'girl of all work'. It was through this adversity that Sara had shown what she was made of, greeting each person with a smile, no matter how cold, or hungry, or abused she might be. She made friends with a rat, and kept up her friendships with those of her previous companions who were willing to risk the anger of Miss Minchin, the irate owner of the school. Her imagination was unparalleled, and this trait appealed to Willy's own love of imaginative answers. If only there were a person like Sara alive today. She would definitely have been someone Willy would choose…

At the end of the story, Sara was discovered by Mr. Carrisford, and his Indian servant, Ram Dass, through the adventures of a small monkey. Mr. Carrisford turned out to have been her father's business partner, and he had been looking for her, as the rumours were wrong: the diamond mine had flourished. Willy smiled, thinking about how no one deserved this good news more than Sara. She had retained her sweet spirit despite being treated in such wildly different ways that would have made a lesser child act out. Even before he knew who she was, Mr Carrisford had gotten such joy out of gifting her with small things, making her miserable existence that little bit better. But that paled in comparison to the joy he received upon turning her from a pauper into one of the most affluent children in the area. Would Willy also experience the joy of giving to someone so precious, from his own great wealth?

As the clock chimed the hour, Mampa jumped in excitement, moving over to the other side of the door, ready to operate the door for him. Here, she could stand unnoticed as she performed her duties.

"Almost time for you to go, Willy! It's time for you to put these children through the test!"

Willy smiled.

"No, my dear friend. Remember, it's not a test: it's an audition. A test suggests that they might pass or fail. In an audition, it's not about failing; it's about seeing who best fits the role. Out of all the personalities we are about to be presented with, which one best suits our brand of crazy?"

Mampa nodded, but Willy got the feeling that, once again, she didn't quite understand. Of course, there was someone being tested. He was being tested. As Mampa aimed the remote at the sensor, and pushed the button to open it, Willy contemplated this, pausing for a moment to lift his head and relax his shoulders. He would play this scene as the ringmaster. With that thought in mind, he limped to the door, leaning heavily on his cane, one staggering footstep after another. He passed the closed door, silhouetted momentarily in the glass pane, and turned to face the crowd, framed in the space of the now-open door.

Without pausing he headed for the steps, scowling at the ground as he navigated the hurdle in front of him. He had hated relinquishing control of the door to Mampa. That was a test. Leaning heavily on his cane, he limped down the stairs, one heavy foot after another. He barely registered the whispering sound of the door shutting securely behind him. Finally, he was down. He stood on the red carpeted courtyard, and lifted his head to survey the waiting crowd: Hundreds of people, standing as silent as himself, taken aback by his serious mien; shocked by his lameness.

As he continued, his eyes continued to rove the crowd, the open gate, the barriers holding the morass of people back, the carpet leading to the seating area where the five children, and their attendant adults were sat. Willy continued walking, drinking it all in, the shining sun casting a promising light on the day. Was this a sign that this experiment would actually turn out well? Despite the sun, Willy was swamped with doubt. His expectations were so high. People were so abominable. How could this answer? Willy didn't let himself take a moment longer to consider, before beginning a slow, limping walk.

With each heavy second passing, he thought more on that idea that he was being tested. Would he find a child he liked? That was a test. Willy smiled a grim little smile, as he avoided rolling his eyes in derision at the idea. He, like one of these coddled kiddies? There was a joke! The clock ticked again, as Willy stumbled another step on. He remembered the arduous process of putting the golden tickets into the specially chosen bars, and sending them out to the various areas of the world. Even if the destination of each ticket but the last was a mystery, selecting those bars, actually taking that first step had been a test. Would he really go through with this farce James had somehow coaxed him into?

Another second: another step. If he found a child he liked—unlikely—would the child he liked fit in well with the Factory? There was another test. How well would his choice work out? After each child had found their ticket, Willy and James had scrutinized every detail they could find about that ticket finder. Some of the information about each had seemed quite promising, but other characteristics were less so. Some of the information they had found was so disappointing, it confirmed Willy's belief that even children were awful creatures.

Although James argued that each had their good points, not one of the first four held the full promise that Willy anticipated. As far as the fifth child was concerned, they knew next to nothing about him! This lack would have concerned Willy, but he was certain that, if nothing else, the boy would be caught out by the Slugworth ruse. That scheme was the catch all. No rotten child would be able to avoid the lure of easy cash! Was any child free from the stench of rot? It seemed unlikely. Willy made a moue of distaste. Did he want to fail this test? Did he want James' idea to fail spectacularly? Much as an heir was needed, dealing with the unwashed masses would be repugnant. Would that they had found a better way to do this. They hadn't. There went another second. Willy took another lurching step forwards. Was he lurching to his doom?

One of these children might meet both criteria, an heir, and the right fit, he supposed, but having to deal with any of these children and their families regularly would be disgusting, with the fate of doing so, horrifying. The change in routine it required outraged his soul. Strangers in his heavenly haven! Was he willing to deal with this? But he needed an heir. Plus, if this doom were averted, if any child met one of the criteria, but didn't meet the other, then this whole day was a failure. Did he want to fail? No! He was driven to succeed! He had to pass this test, however much he hated the mere idea of letting anyone into the dwelling place of his creativity, the abode of his imagination, his hallowed halls. The thought brought a melancholic mood with it.

Just then, a brick of a different colour caught his eye. Raising a hand, Willy grasped his hat and removed it from his head. Holding it out of harm's way by his side, he focused his attention on the open gate ahead, and the ten people he was about to spend the day with. They didn't know it, but they were in for their first surprise! He took another step, inserting the tip of his cane into the sticky slot they had prepared for it. The cane broke loose from his grasp. Ah! He stumbled forwards another step or two, before allowing himself to fall forwards into a perfect somersault. The crowd came alive with happy gasps and clapping as they watched him spring up to face them, grim smile transformed into one of delight.

Playing things far more naturally now, Willy welcomed everyone to the Factory. Basking in their approval, he bowed his head to the crowd. Now he was standing at the open gate, observing the reactions each child made to his act, and wondering if any of them would still be there at the end of the audition. After weeks of learning about each child through news reports, now he would be able to form an opinion of them in person. What the children didn't know, but would soon find out, was that he was going to act as absurdly as he could in order to do so! Now that the guinea pigs were right here before him, Willy couldn't wait!

They were sat, for the most parts, boy, girl — the exceptions being that some of the attendant adults broke the pattern. The local boy, or rather, his grandfather, started the pattern, while the gun-obsessed lad finished it. After a moment longer of silence, Willy invited the children and their attendant adults to approach the gate. They left the platform in a rush. Who would reach him first? It was a complete melee of arms and legs, as the group tried to pass through the bottle neck of the clear-of-crowd path down to the gate. Willy replaced his hat on his head as he watched. One of the girls ended up winning the battle, complete with a lot of pushing and shoving. She was attired in an expensive-looking mink coat. She offered up her name, along with the golden ticket she had discovered.

"Veruca!" Willy cordially welcomed her and her father to the Factory, while reviewing in his mind everything they had discovered about this child. She was the second child to discover a ticket, the product of a doting family. Her name was unusual. Who chose to call their daughter after a foot infection? Did her parents assume that a child would 'infect' their family life, tying them down, and so affecting their feet? Willy wouldn't call an animal such a thing, never mind a child. The appellation was no more than an insult.

Her father owned his own nuts company, while her mother was one of those society Moms. Oh, sorry, she was British, so she was a society Mum then! Willy had pointed out to James that the problem with Veruca was that she didn't seem to know the meaning of the word 'no,' quite possibly because no one ever used it around her. Her sense of entitlement was gargantuan. A child like that, staying in his Factory? No chance!

James reported that she had seemed intrigued when he made Slugworth's pitch to her, and had displayed a vague interest, but she would likely only bother about it if the opportunity fell into her lap. He didn't think money was what drove her. James also argued that her attitude showed that she was confident, and this would be a very important thing were she to end up being Willy's choice. Willy had rolled his eyes at the latter comment. As far as the former went, privately, Willy believed that having parents who seemed to fall over themselves to provide for her every whim, Veruca didn't need to worry about money.

It had taken them a long while to work out what room would be the best to introduce her to. What would appeal to her, really make the place stand out in her memory, and be a key part of her apprenticeship, were she to join the team? Finally, after the fifth interview, where she was surrounded by animals, James suggested that the room with the geese who laid the golden chocolate eggs was maybe the thing to impress her. If they wanted something that would show the Factory off in all its glory to someone who loved animals, that was the one to go for. Hopefully, she would like the geese, and that would be the room they could start her apprenticeship off in; were she to turn out to fit in well with the Factory, that was.

Each time they discussed her, James would argue that despite the obvious flaws, Veruca had potential. Would she live up to it though, or would the spoilt minx take over? James had high hopes, and Willy knew that he had to give the girl a chance. James might be right, despite Willy's doubts. With that thought, Willy backed away from the gate with a flourish, inviting Veruca, the minx dressed in mink, and her father to enter.

The next child in the melee was Augustus. Once again, Willy found himself shaking a hand as he welcomed the boy and his mother to the Factory. Once again, the pertinent information, as covered with James earlier on, was reviewed in his mind as Willy found something suitable to comment on. Augustus was, naturally, the ticket winner they knew most about. He was a German boy, whose father owned the butcher shop in his small town, and the first to find his ticket. It was easy to see that the whole family loved their food. They were constantly eating. Sometimes, they didn't discriminate too carefully about what they put in their mouths. They seemed to be happy eating things that Willy would have called 'uneatable'.

James, who had visited the boy in his Slugworth persona, stated that apparently food was more important than money to the boy. When he mentioned the gobstopper, Augustus had responded: "Yes. I eat it!"

James suggested that the Chocolate Room would be a perfect way to introduce Augustus to the Factory. A room which was almost completely eatable! What better way to introduce and show off the Factory to a boy so focused on his stomach?

Willy had to repress a sigh as he pondered the boy in front of him. Willy believed that Augustus just didn't have the ability to avoid eating everything in front of him … The Chocolate Room would be left in ruins! Augustus would steal candy from another child, not because he meant to be nasty, but because he saw food, and had to eat it. If Willy's suspicions were right, there would be no question of Augustus ever being offered the apprenticeship.

James had been quick to defend Augustus and attempt to point out his good points. James believed that Augustus was the easiest of the children to understand. If you wanted him to do something, you simply had to appeal to his tastebuds, so he had that going for him. There was the weight issue to be concerned about; but with careful management, they ought to overcome that problem. If Augustus were willing to work with them, and could understand that there are times when you have to concentrate on making candy rather than eating it, he could be a real possibility.

Despite Willy's doubts, he knew there was a slight chance James may have the right of it. This was the only reason he had agreed to the suggestion of showing the children the Chocolate Room. It would showcase both the Factory and whether Augustus was boy or hellion. Willy had to give Augustus a fair chance. If he didn't he would be letting James down. More importantly, he would be letting himself down. At that, Willy smiled and finished his welcomes, waving Augustus, the button popping glutton, and Mrs Gloop through into the courtyard proper.

A Little Princess was written by Frances Hodgson Burnett, first published in complete form in 1905. According to Wikipedia, it has since been the subject of several film adaptations, the one that seems to be known the best wasn't released until 1995. An ebook version is available from Project Gutenberg.

I first came up with the idea for this story over three years ago – the initial concept was a mere shadow of what this story has ended up being. My thanks are due to my RL friend who kindly proofread my first drafts, and subsequent rewrites for me.

As always – if you recognise it from elsewhere, the chances are, it doesn't belong to me.