"What word should I mention here? Hmm, rule? Nah, too boring. How about…"

Shuhei watched on in partial curiosity and partial disbelief. Discounting that time when she got herself severely injured from that hollow encounter, Kurui is never this quiet. He isn't sure if this is the calm before the storm where she is planning some super secret devious prank to be unleashed across the Seireitei or if something is really bothering her.

Kurui continues to mumble words and sentences that don't make any sense to him and Shuhei simply watches from where they are lounging about in the Ninth Division Barracks. In the end, his curiosity got the better of him and he asked.

"What are you doing?"

"Hm?" Kurui gave him a look, finally pulling herself out of her thoughts. "Oh, I was wondering if I should have an epic monologue whenever I decide to unleash my power and if so, what kind of thing I should monologue about."

Shuhei is sure that his facial expression said it all when he heard that. This was why she had been mumbling to herself for three hours straight?

"What?"

"Hey, don't judge! It's cool!" Kurui defended her nonsensical logic with an accusing finger. "I just need something similar to I am the Bone of my Sword. Steel is my Body and Fire is my Blood! That kind of cool monologue! Then wham! Shikai! Then bam! Bankai! It will be EPIC! Trust me!"

"Sometimes I really have no idea how your brain works." Shuhei shook his head and sighed. He will just chalk this up to another of Kurui's weird quirks. "But I am the Bone of my Sword sounds cool enough to me. Why don't you just use it?"

"Somebody else already did! I need some originality!"

"The only thing that will ever be original is yourself. Why don't you just craft your "epic monologue" that describes you?" Shuhei offered with a yawn. "Or you can just base it around your Shikai's ability. Every zanpakuto is unique, the same as their Shikai and Bankai. Will it be easier this way?"

Kurui went silent for a few seconds, but Shuhei can see her face slowly brightening up into a smile.

"T-That's… AWESOME!" Kurui cheered with her hands high up in the air. "You are the best, Shu!"

"Come to think about it, what is your Shikai?" Shuhei questioned, only to earn a mischievous look from Kurui.

"Trust me. It's better if you don't learn about it."

"Why?"

"Curiosity kills the cat, Shu~" Kurui said playfully with a singsong voice and waving a disapproving finger at him. "But if you really want to know what my Shikai is, the only way is to force me to use it. Are you good enough to do that?"

"Oh, taunting me now, eh?" Shuhei said with a predatory grin as his hands slowly went to grip onto Kazeshini. "Shall we try it out?"

"I am a Vice-Captain, Third Seat Hisagi." Kurui mocked in a haughty tone as she emphasised the difference in rank between the two of them. "You don't stand a chance."

"Never know till I try."

"Kuchiki. There you are."

"Oh. HI CAPTAIN SHIRO!" Kurui happily waved at the recently appointed Captain of the Tenth Division, an action that Hitsugaya returned with a scowl. The newly appointed Captain looked at Kurui with obvious irritation from where he was standing at the door, eyebrows twitching in annoyance.

"It's Captain Hitsugaya to you, Kuchiki. You are supposed to be doing work back in the barracks, not here in the Ninth Division ditching your work."

"Eh? But I already completed them!"

"Since when?"

"Since an hour ago!" Kurui said with a huff and magically took out a stack of papers from… somewhere. Shuhei blinked his eyes. Where did Kurui take out those papers again? And since when was she doing paperwork? She was mumbling to herself for the past three hours! Certainly not doing paperwork!

Even then, Shuhei knew when to keep his mouth shut when it comes to his best friend. He watched as Captain Hitsugaya took over the stack of papers and quickly looked through them. Surprisingly, the Captain didn't say a word and simply left with the paperwork, meaning that Kurui did complete her paperwork properly.

"How?" He asked her that one simple question the moment he is sure Captain Hitsugaya is out of earshot.

"Secret~" Kurui rubbed her palms against each other gleefully. "Do you want to know why Captain Komamura kept me around for so long and why Captain Isshin liked me so much? This is why! I always complete my share of paperwork before they do, no matter how late I started to do it! My motto in life is always play first, work later! And then finish your work faster than everyone else to continue playing as soon as possible!"

"You know what? I give up. I don't want to understand." Shuhei muttered just loud enough for her to hear. Why did he even bother?

"Shu~ You are no fun at all! Live a little! Go out and have fun!"

"You have enough fun for the both of us. That said, you had a hand in the Monster Hair Phenomenon, didn't you?"

"W-What makes you say that?! Ginny's the culprit! Even Captain Unohana said so!" Kurui vehemently denied all accusations with exaggerated shakes of her head but it doesn't fool him at all. He knows her handiwork when he sees one.

"You can fool everybody else, but you cannot fool me. The Monster Hair Phenomenon is something you would do just for shit and giggles."

"I told you, I'm not the culprit! Besides, if I really want to do something for shit and giggles I will aim for something waaaaay BIGGER! Something with more impact! Something with more oomph!"

"Like?"

"Prank the Soul King!"

And that was the moment when Shuhei was stumped into silence once more.

"Rui."

"Yes?"

"Tell me that was just a joke."

"Do I look like I'm joking?!"

"Rui, this is the Soul King you are talking about!"

"Well, I bet his life is boring as hell! He needs someone to lighten things up and bring him some joy in his mundane and boring life! If nobody is brave enough to undertake this glorious mission, then I, the awesome Kurui, will!"

"I'm warning Captain Kuchiki." Shuhei immediately got up from his seat. Only the Captain of the Sixth Division has a chance to stop Kurui and her crazy scheme right now. This is madness. He can already see the crazed glint in her eyes. She is really hellbent on pranking the Soul King and even when every part of his common sense told him that such a thing is impossible because of the Royal Guards protecting him, he wouldn't put it past Kurui to somehow make her mad delusions a reality.

If Kurui really somehow managed to prank the Soul King, it's doomsday for everyone.

"Shuuuuu~" Kurui immediately grabbed onto his uniform and pulled on it, not letting him leave. "Don't be a spoilsport! Oh, I know! Let's prank the Soul King together! How about it?"

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"YES!"

"No."

"No."

"Yes- wait, did you just say-"

"AH HAH! You said YES!" Kurui exclaimed while pointing a finger at him. "There's no going back now, Shu! We are going to prank the Soul King! It will be the best prank ever! BELIEVE IT!"

"We are not going to do such a thing." Shuhei hissed through his teeth, almost to the point of strangling his best friend because who the hell has the audacity to prank the Soul King himself. It's a death sentence!

Predictably, Kurui didn't listen to a single word he said. In fact, she is already in her own little world, planning for her next big prank.

"The first order of business is to figure out a way to get into the Soul King Palace, but where is the Soul King Palace in the first place? Maybe I should flip through the clan's library? The Kuchiki clan records may have some clues-"

"Rui, NO!"

"Rui, YES!"

"NO!"

"YES! YES YES YES YES YEEEEEEEESSSS!"

"This is boring! Boring! BORING!"

"If you have so much energy and time to shout and yell you might as well use it to practice your calligraphy."

"But Nii-sama-"

"No buts." Kuchiki Byakuya stated with a firm voice and pointed at her paper with a finger. "Continue writing."

"I've been going at it for four hours!"

"You will continue to write until you get that crazy idea out of your head. You will not do anything as foolish as pranking the Soul King."

"ARRGGHH! SHU! YOU LITTLE TATTLETALE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU HEAR ME?!" Byakuya watched calmly as his little sister yelled in frustration towards the direction of the window. On the table where his sister is seated lies a big piece of paper, written with lines after lines of 'I will not prank the Soul King'. Not only that, he made her write these lines with perfect handwriting, a slow and arduous process for Kurui. He knows that the one thing she dislikes the most is calligraphy, so that is what he made her do as punishment.

He is also here to personally supervise his troublemaking little sister and ensure that she really goes through the corrective punishment he sets for her. If it were anyone else she would have easily given them the slip, but that is not possible with him around.

Anything to dissuade his problematic and troublemaking little sister from making her mad delusions a reality. He really owes Hisagi one for warning him of Kurui's big plans and to nip the problem in the bud before it could even be allowed to bloom into fruition.

"Hisana-nee! Help me! Nii-sama is evil! EVIL!"

"You did this onto yourself, Rui." Hisana said with a laugh as she poured some tea for the both of them. "Do your best, Rui!"

"It's just a prank. A PRANK! MUST EVERYONE REACT LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD IS COMING?!" Kurui yelled in frustration as she glared at the piece of paper like it was her mortal enemy. "IT'S NOT LIKE I AM SUPERMAN WANNABE HELLBENT ON FINDING A WAY TO ENTER THE SOUL KING PALACE TO KILL HIM IN ORDER TO TAKE HIS PLACE AND RECONSTRUCT A WORLD IN MY IMAGE OR ANYTHING! I'M JUST GOING THERE FOR A FRIENDLY VISIT! A FRIENDLY VISIT!"

"You don't simply go to the Soul King Palace to make friends." Byakuya said in a dry voice. "There is a very good reason why that place is a forbidden ground for us Shinigamis and why we can only enter when we are summoned there."

"And what is that reason?!"

"The Soul King's protection." Byakuya answered without missing a beat. "The Soul King's existence is a lynchpin. His very presence allows the proper regulation of souls in and out of Soul Society and keeps the flow stable. Without him, the Dangai, Hueco Mundo, and the Human World, everything will collapse. There will be no semblance of balance or order to be found across all worlds. As such, the fewer people who know where he resides and how to enter it, the safer he will be."

Byakuya then levelled a stern gaze at his little sister.

"And that's why you don't simply find a way to enter the Soul King Palace to prank the Soul King. A simple mistake on your part may very well doom all three realms."

"But Nii-sama~"

"Protest some more and I will make you practice another four hours of calligraphy."

"You guys are no fun at all! AT ALL! Hisana-nee! Say something!"

"I'm with Byakuya on this matter, Rui."

"Hisana-nee~ Not you too!"

"So, is it true that you were planning to prank the Soul King?"

"No offense, Captain Kyoraku, but how on earth do you know about this too?"

"It's been the talk around town. If there's even a littlest bit of news about a new prank of yours coming up, word spreads fast so that everyone has some time to prepare and brace themselves." Kyoraku Shunsui gave a carefree shrug of his shoulders as he lay beneath the sakura tree in the garden of the Eighth Division, drinking a few sips of fine sake every now and then. The little Kuchiki lay beside him in his favourite secret spot to hide from Nanao and to give himself a break from his usual duties. As to how the Kuchiki even managed to find him in his secret spot in the first place, he has no clue, but Kurui always had been great company and they always skived on their work together, making them great skiving buddies.

"You got the entire Central 46 in a panic, you know that? Your reputation as a prankster is getting a little too notorious. Even old man Yama is personally looking into ways to make sure that any information regarding the Soul King Palace cannot be leaked out through any means necessary. That's how scared people are of you when it comes to your pranks."

"I am the AWESOME Kurui! My pranks are legendary and something to be feared!"

"Too feared, in fact." Kyoraku chuckled. Kurui always does have a knack for being able to find out anything that she wants to know no matter how tightly they are secured under lock and key. Anything regarding the Soul King Palace is highly confidential for obvious reasons and Kurui's recent proclamation got everyone to rethink if the information Soul Society currently has about the Soul King Palace is as secure as they think.

To him, this recent panic that resulted from Kuruiphobia is not exactly a bad thing. Soul Society does indeed have to rethink how certain things should be done or managed. They had stagnated for far too long and stagnation is never a good thing.

"Fine then. If I cannot prank the Soul King then I will do the next best thing!" Kurui declared with an audible huff and folded her arms across her chest, face a little flushed from the amount of sake she had been drinking and obviously a little tipsy. She is surprisingly a good drinker, even if the overprotective Byakuya is very adamant on Kurui not even taking a sip of alcohol.

If only Byakuya knew just how much Kurui drinks behind his back. She is almost worthy enough to be Rangiku's rival in terms of alcohol capacity. Almost.

"And that is?"

"Prank the Central 46!"

"You do know that the Central 46 is the most powerful judiciary authority in the whole of Soul Society? If they judge your pranks as treason the entire Soul Society will be after you."

"If they cannot appreciate a good prank then that's not my business. It's because Soul Society is ruled by boring men like them that this place is no fun at all!"

"For the sake of all our sanity, please don't go through with that prank of yours, I beg you. I have no wish to deal with the resulting headache."

"But Captain Kyoraku! You were never involved in my pranks! It's high time we prank someone together and what is better than pranking the Central 46?!"

"Can we not talk about this and instead talk about something else? Like how nice it is to lay here undisturbed and skip out on all the work we are supposed to do in our barracks?"

"You are the one skipping out on your work, Captain. I finished mine a long time ago! I'm just here to simply enjoy myself and drink some of your best sake!"

"Wait, what? This is mutiny! We are supposed to skip out on work together!"

"Captain Shiro had been on my case a lot recently, so… Eh, I figured it's best if I finished my work as soon as possible before going back to slacking around. He wouldn't stop harping at me otherwise. And Captain?"

"Yes? What kind of heart attack are you going to give me now?"

"You are still too young to have a heart attack." Kurui snorted. "And by the way, you are already involved in my next prank to prank the Central 46."

"I opt out."

"It's not an option."

"Using my authority as Captain, I opt out."

"Not~ An~ Option~"

The past one month has been the scariest month for members of the Central 46. Why, you ask?

Word had gotten around that the infamous prankster of the Seireitei, Kuchiki Kurui, had set her sights on them.

Kuchiki Kurui's pranks are well-known across the Seireitei and even among the 46 of them. She's technically not breaking any existing laws by doing so and so she cannot be faulted for anything. In fact, many of them had a good laugh behind closed doors when they heard about another one of her pranks and what ridiculous reactions it had incited. It made for some interesting conversations behind closed doors.

But when the target of her pranks turned to them, suddenly, everything is not as funny as it sounds.

As members of the Central 46, they are entitled to live in a special residential district known as the Seijotokyorin within the Seireitei. For their protection, this place is forbidden for entry to anyone, regardless of their military or civilian status. That said, the Central 46 have no delusions that this will protect them from another of Kurui's pranks, which is why they are now living in constant fear on a daily basis ever since they got wind of the Kuchiki princess declaring her intention to prank the Central 46, courtesy of Kyoraku Shunsui who reported it immediately to the Captain Commander when Kurui first confessed her intentions to him.

Oh sure, as members of the Central 46 their decisions and words are law. They can order Kuchiki Kurui to be imprisoned in the Muken or to be detained in the Nest of Maggots as of immediate effect, but fact is, she had done nothing wrong yet. They cannot judge anyone to be guilty of a crime that they had not yet committed. Kurui's sensitive status as a Kuchiki aside, any unfair rulings on their part will shake the faith that the Seireitei has for them, so they can do nothing but wait in fear and hope that the walls of the Seijotokyorin is sturdy enough to make sure that Kurui's pranks will never reach them.

Fear is contagious, and it made the Central 46 do things each more ridiculous than the last over the days. They began to check everywhere and everything no matter where they went. It became customary for them when they report to work at the Central 46 Compound to check their seats before they sit on it. It became a routine for them to check their clothes for any signs of itching powder sprinkled on it and whether their shoes had been modified somehow. Then it got to the extent that even their flowerpots at home are not spared from the paranoid checks the Central 46 subjected to each and every of their belongings and this happens every. Single. Day.

It's driving them all crazy.

And so, when they are starting to reach the brink of their sanity and decide that enough was enough and something needs to be done, the Central 46 held an unofficial meeting among themselves to discuss what should be done next. Legally, Kurui is not guilty of any crime, at least not yet, so by the laws set by their predecessors since ancient times they cannot just find Kurui guilty of any charges.

As such, they can only do the next best thing.

The Central 46 ended up ordering the Gotei 13 to keep an eye on Kurui to prevent her from getting into any form of mischief that will affect the Central 46 in any way, shape, or form. If she pulls any prank on the Central 46, she will be sent to the Nest of Maggots, immediately. No negotiations are allowed and there is no expiry date to this new order passed down from the Central 46.

"See this?" Byakuya seethed as he pointed at the written order he had received from Yamamoto himself, who in turn had personally received from the Central 46 before this. The Head of the Kuchiki Clan shoved the written order right in front of his little sister's face, who took it from him and stared at it with a frown that only deepened after she read it. Her face is one of confusion.

"What's with this weird order?"

"What's with-" Byakuya nearly lost his composure and screamed out loud. "Trying to prank the Soul King was one thing. You don't simply try to prank the Central 46, Rui! Look at what you had gotten yourselves into this time!"

"Since when?! I didn't say anything about pranking the Central 46! I certainly don't remember saying anything like that! Who spreaded this baseless rumour anyway?!"

"You didn't plan to prank the Central 46?" Byakuya asked with a frown. "The entire Seireitei are convinced that you are trying to do so."

"Nii-sama." Kurui stated with a deadpan. "Explain everything. From top to bottom, start to end. This is confusing me as well."

And so, Byakuya told the entire story. How Shunsui had gone to find the Captain Commander one day, warning him and the Gotei 13 of Kurui's nefarious thoughts of planning to involve the Central 46 in her next big prank and subsequently, word of it reached the Central 46 before the sun rose the next day. How the Central 46 took an entire month to finally issue this ridiculous decree and how she is now on the watchlist of the entire Central 46 and the Gotei 13.

Kurui was visibly unimpressed.

"Nii-sama. I was drunk. I certainly didn't remember 99% of what I said that afternoon when I was with Captain Kyoraku." Kurui stated plainly. "Ask him if you need confirmation. I was drunk. Like really drunk."

"Drunk?" Byakuya nearly popped a blood vessel as he repeated that word. "Since when did you start to drink alcohol behind my back?!"

"Stop overreacting, I've been doing it even before I transferred to the Tenth Division." Kurui waved his words off flippantly with a hand. "And yeah, Captain Kyoraku and I tend to skive off work together to have a drink or two. I did have a drink with him about a month ago and I'm not sure what I told him that day, but if the Central 46 took the words of a drunkard seriously, then they obviously have issues up here."

Kurui pointed at her head with a finger for emphasis upon saying that last part of her sentence before continuing.

"You know, I'm starting to doubt that the Central 46 is comprised of the forty wisest men and six judges if some random words that I spewed out of my mouth when I was drunk caused such a mayhem. You sure you want to continue to let them rule over Soul Society?"

Worried for his sister's safety, Byakuya wasted no time to relay the conversation that day between the Kuchiki siblings to Captain Yamamoto, word for word. Captain Yamamoto then relayed it to the Central 46 that very afternoon, albeit a lot more censored due to Kurui's blatant disregard and lack of respect to the Central 46, but the core message of the conversation had still been conveyed to the Central 46 regardless.

You guys are idiots for taking the words of a drunkard so seriously.

Of course, that is also a light slap to the face to the Gotei 13 as well because they too, had overreacted. Captain Kyoraku was punished by the Captain Commander with even more paperwork for inciting needless mayhem throughout the Gotei 13 and the Central 46 that lasted an entire month. Shunsui, being the easygoing man as he is, simply accepted his punishment with a shrug.

Shunsui didn't think too much of the affair until he was doing some of the paperwork he was punished to do one fine night, when he suddenly recalled one innocently sounding sentence that Kurui told him that day.

"And by the way, you are already involved in my next prank to prank the Central 46."

It was then the edges of Shunsui's lips curved upwards into a smile before he started to guffaw out loud within the privacy of his office. When his laughter finally died down, he simply shook his head and sighed before taking out another bottle out of his private sake collection and poured himself a drink. The best prank is when the victims themselves didn't even realise that they had gotten themselves pranked. As one of the oldest Captains in the Gotei 13, he should have known. Guess he is really starting to get a little rusty.

With an impressed sigh, Shunsui raised his cup in the air and gave a silent toast to Kurui.

"Well played, Kurui. Well played."

Ultimate Prankster of Seireitei indeed.