Hey all, welcome to this depressing thing I've written yeah may I shouldn't be writing while depressed but fuck it this is what happens.

so I'm probably going to stop doing that, but good news I'm finally writing myself with Asperger's, to those who don't know in pretty much all my SI's I more or less avoid tipping everyone off that I have Asperger's but this time I'm not going to be holding back this time and showing off this... really bad idea.

Warning: the first portion of the chapter is kind of depressing and may set some people off, but I will say that pretty much all the flashbacks here did happen to me soooo yeah hope you all don't mind that.

Disclaimer: I don't own shit that I quite obviously don't own, that's pretty much it.

Also please take note I may change things and edit this chapter better sooooo yeah sorry if the current format is disgusting.

Chapter 1: Chlorine

Difficulty had appeared to grow more during my days-didn't even see it coming, all I did was just watched as the sky flew past me. My mind wasn't even in the right place then again I'm never in the right place, why did it bother me to see my old friends from highschool just hang out in a bowling alley I usually frequented, then again I was just focusing on where my mother was but the cheery faces as they hung out.

I took a deep breath of the cold air, trying to calm the unfortunate depressiveness I was feeling.

Sliding my hands into my Hooded jackets pockets I slowly continued onwards into my nightly walk, it was supposed to be my time to either reflect on something or just to let my imagination run its course, seeing if I could just spot out things or just figure out something, I don't know.

I quickly pulled my earphones out immediately cutting out the music and allowing me to hear the sounds of the forest like reserve that was just a literal 30 second walk away from my home.

I quickly pushed my earphones into my jacket's pocket making sure not to drop them on the ground just in case if I might step on them again. For a pair of skullcandy earphones costing about 50 bucks to last about 6 months longer than any other earphones I've had in the past 4 years was to me an absolutely rare thing to me.

I've never had enough money for the nicest of things but I'm at least happy that I could have offered those at the time.

Shaking my head I remembered why I was struggling with the concept of people I knew having a good time without me and most of all why did it hurt me.

It felt less of a question to me and more of a statement.

Pulling my jackets hood off my head I felt the cold air bit into my sensitive skin, especially my ears its pretty much making me regret ever getting that haircut I usually get. Just a simple fade looked good on me that or an average number 2 haircut.

Now I feel like I'm pandering away from my main problem.

Sitting in an old gazebo I felt isolated despite being surrounded by people, people I felt a connection to, "Ahahahaha nice one dumbass, you tripped!"

It was a shame though to feel that the connection and trust was built up via insulting each other for our faults, mine seemingly being the centre of attention.

"Ahahahaha, come on dumbass, we got class to get to." Hearing that I looked up to someone I thought was a friend, he hurt me the most though with his sarcastic comments and snide reminders of how unintelligent I was compared to him and everyone else.

It was a fucking amazing how tolerable I was back then.

Didn't mean I wasn't close to crying every time.

I laid on the bed located in the nurse's office, another visit was nothing new to me, this time though instead of a headache or a cut to the hands I was suffering from a concussion.

I wasn't scared, just confused.

It was as if my entire world was pulled out leaving me to see everything in a blurry image, I felt no pain be it physical or most importantly emotional.

I could remember how I could have gotten there but when it happened, everything turned into a blur of faded images and memories.

I remembered standing in front of my friend and another guy before they threw themselves at each other, one clearly intending in hurting the other.

I hated getting involved since I already had gone to the nurses office for a fairly similar reason but this time it didn't end with me in pain but with a concussion.

I don't know why, but no one helped me when I was trying to defuse the situation.

Why did that hurt more than them helping me afterwards?

Graduation came and I missed the ceremony it was then and there that my life outside of school would be beginning.

I felt confident in acquiring my first job, I felt like I had a chance to hold my own life in my hands.

2 years later I find myself staring up at my ceiling depression on my mind, bills to pay and an inferiority complex that began to pop itself out to me.

And my friends- what friends?

I scratched my short haired head, mind feeling like it was doing loop de loops of confusion and anger, why did I have to see them, why did I my life come to the point where nothing mattered anymore?

I felt so many questions roll around my head, getting bigger and bigger until it was starting to feel stressed.

I slowly moved away down the footpath my runners lightly thumping over the concrete while my right hand's fingers started to fidget and strimmer around in a random pattern, it had a calming effect on me, it reminded me of typing along on my laptop, the most calming place I could think of.

Slipping my hands back into my pockets I continued to move on, mind clear on no destination but just wanting to continue moving to push up a sweat just so my body could feel something that wasn't just pure depression or plan old sadness.

Pulling my earphones back out from my pocket I slowly plugged out the sound of the world with the random music that was playing in a random fashion.

"Sipping straight chlorine, let the vibe slide over me, this beat is a chemical, this beat is a chemical." I immediately felt my shoulder relax under the new sounds of lyrics going through my ears, I found twenty one pilots giving me a new sense of ease.

If I had the choice… I'd just leave, but I couldn't do that.

And I was being serious as well, considering I had no money, I lived my grandmother and I did have friends they were just online and across the world and not in front of me.

Man that feels dumb to think about it like that, ten times out of ten Hedgie was going to digitally whack me in the head with a newspaper for thinking like this.

Why is at the mere thought of my online friends that I brighten up and immediately ignore my depressive thoughts?

I feel as if thats just a dumb question but it's not like I have the answer to it all.

Chlorines lyrics continued to play through my ears, distracting me from my depressive thoughts soon my tired depressive stomping turned into a light tapping of feet, my mood turning positive with every step.

Tapping my fingers in my leg to the drum beat of the song I found my mind finally branching away from the usual boring reality and into my imagination.

Pausing for a moment I slowly felt light drips hit the top of my head, looking up slightly I immediately pulled my hood over my head seeing how rain was going to be coming down.

"Well it's winter, so this shit's nothing new." I voiced with a shrug making my way back home, time for me to get back home and get something to eat, haven't eaten anything since the bowling alley.

Turning up the volume on my phone I found myself in my light stepping turn of walking with the light bobbing of my head. Darkness and concrete footpath being just illuminated by the surrounding street lights of the small reserve, while also just having small patches of darkness between each street light.

It wasn't a bit of a problem but it was annoying considering there was a nearby bridge with a tendency to be covered in mud and water from the dirty polluted water of the duck pond nearby.

And I crossed it many plethora of times with my usual night time walks.

That was until I felt my right foot step into a mud puddle and lose traction causing me to slip forwards and outstretching my hand to latch onto the nearby bridge hand support.

Taking deep calming breaths I slowly pulled myself up off the ground with my hand still latched to the bridge hand support.

"That was a clos-what the fuuuuuuuck!?" Suddenly I felt someone pick me up from my entire large body was picked up off from the mud covered concrete bridge and tipped over the bridge, my eyes closing fully as I felt my jacketed back slam into the water.

While I didn't see this coming I couldn't help but slightly expect the waters of the duck pond to be near freezing not… warm and was the duck pond always this deep?

I quickly waved my arms around trying to right myself and break the top of the water, my eyes blinked open instead of pure darkness I found myself seeing a light on the surface of the water while I slowly felt my body sink downwards.

"I'm so sorry, forgot you let me catch you up to speed." I could still hear Chlorine playing through my earphones. "I've been tested like the ends of a weathered flag, that's by the sea."

The music paused for about a second before it slowly picked up.

I felt a bubble of CO2 push out of my mouth and slowly floated up through the water, my mind surprisingly serine, no panic or rush to live just a peaceful existence.

My eyes slowly closed just as I was about to lose consciousness.

I guess this was it, so long… everyone.

Gasp! Cough cough blargh cough cough! Gasp!

"What the hell?" I breathed out, eyes flying open looking in random directions while my body flopped over from my back and onto my hands and knees and just coughed up water ever was in my system.

"Whoa, easy there." I heard a voice calmly told me, a hand on my back as to give me support.

Usually I'd be uncomfortable with the sudden touching but I was too busy trying to get my breath back.

"Wha-cough cough-what happened?" I breathed out eyes completely blinded by my fogged up glasses, mind going overboard to try and gain some sense of calmness.

"We found you drowning, take it easy." Another voice said, clearly female from the tone of voice. "Sanji, get a towel and water."

I felt my body weakly slump to the right causing me to fall on my right side, My glasses fell askew from my nose allowing me to see slightly clearly on where I was.

Wooden floorboards sat under me, wooden railing painted white and a bright blue skyline was all I could identify in a short time before I closed my eyes, focusing on gaining my breath back.

"Here, let me clean those for you." hearing this I watched how a pair of hands pulled off my glasses allowing me to get a better look of my surroundings.

Which was pretty much the same just now I had a better look at everything as I finally saw a very vast looking body of water.

"Where the hell am I?" I mumbled out slowly pushing my hand downwards on the floor boards I found myself slowly being pushed up into a sitting position, my back leaning against what felt like another piece of railing, finally feeling my ability to breath coming back to me I looked up to see a random shadow looking over me.

"Shishishi hi." Looking up at the cause of the voice I would have had a heart attack if it wasn't for the fact that I was feeling absolutely tired, confused and wet.

"Urgh my head." Oh lets not forget about the random headache I was suffering from suddenly.

"Here maybe this will help." Hearing another voice say I felt my glasses being placed back over my eyes, blinking at the sudden clarity I looked up to give the nice person my thanks and then proceeded to had a .exe moment when I saw this guys nose his loooooong as nose.

"Uuuuuh ahem thanks." Quickly thanked the guy with a slight cough.

"What the hell were doing out there anyway?" The same guy asked, my face frowned as I tried to think up either an excuse or a reason but could only form a slight shrug.

"All I remember is slipping and then someone throwing me off a railing." I said my eyes narrowing in confusion hearing how ludicrous it sounded despite it actually happening to me.

"You were thrown overboard? That's terrible, who could do that to someone another one of their crewmates?" hearing the questioning tone I was about to clarify that I wasn't a part of any kind of crew but immediately stopped myself when I eyed the guy in front of me, his face shadowed by his straw hat, fists tight and turning white from how much pressure he was putting himself in.

"L-look I-I don't have a crew… the only crew I have is-" I immediately felt my entire being freeze, my mind going over what I was saying before letting out a tired breath.

"I don't have a crew and no whoever threw me over the rail wasn't a part of any kind of crew, I'm sorry for causing a ruckus." I slowly pulled my legs into my chest rolling myself into a ball not wanting to cause any kind of distress from the weird ass illusions standing in front of me.

Feeling uncomfortable was nothing new to me, the soaking clothes were nothing to me, the cold was nothing to be worried about being born in the middle of July could do that to a kid, especially when they were born in NZ.

"No need to cry over it." Looking over to my right I watched how a green haired guy with give me an uninterested look. "All you did was just give us a scare, it's nothing to get sad over it."

"You know that's kind of a terrible thing to say to someone we just pulled out of the ocean." Looking over to the long nosed guy I watched how he gave the green haired guy a blank look.

"Well, as long as the guy lives, I see no reason to worry about him, let's just drop him off at the nearest island and carry on."

And just like that, my inferiority complex decided to pop its head in… thanks for that reminder.

"Your a dick, you know that?" I bit out, eyes looking up to give the green haired guy a blank look.

"If that's all you have to say, say that to the guy who jumped into the sea just pull you out."

Pushing my legs out of my chest with a huff before I felt something soft fall directly on top of my head.

"Now now now, no need to listen to the Moss Head - he's just sour that he had to jump in instead of getting someone else to do it," hearing the cool calm voice over the cloth I quickly moved to remove it and watch just in the nick of time as a sword and a black foot collide with each other in mid-air.

"You wanna say that again, curly brow?!" The swordsman bit out through gritted teeth.

"With the way your swinging, I'd love to show you how dumb you really are!" The black shoe man exclaimed.

Both blade and leg pushed back and forth in front of each other in pseudo standstill of wills, neither one seemingly giving up against each other, which would have been cool to me if they didn't do this directly over my head.

With an annoyed twitch of my left eye I couldn't help but feel helplessly annoyed and slowly pulled my hands up and push each offending appendage that was over my head, my left hand pushing a leg while my right was pushing the sword but the flat of the blade.

"I don't know what the hell's up with you two, but could you please not threaten each other directly over a guy who's just mentally getting over the fact he was thrown into the sea?" I growled out, feeling an uncharacteristic anger wash over right over my mind before I slowly got up using the railing I was just leaning against.

Both men slowly turned their heads to me with a matching set of annoyed glares that were - in my opinion - near identical to my own.

"How about we throw you overboard, seems fair enough to me." The swordsman bit out holding his katana directly into my face, usually when your faced with a sword to the head one would usually back off and I would be all for that if it really wasn't for the fact this asshole decided to tick of my small complexes and shit.

"Try it, and I'll drag you along with me you moldy cheese haired bastard." I threaten right back pushing the sword away just so I could get up close and glare directly into guy's eyes.

"Shishishi, I like you!" I heard the other guy from before giggle but I didn't pay attention as I was in the middle of having staring contest, neither one of us backing away just moving forwards until our heads were pushing right into each other.

"Will you two quit it!" I heard a shriek before feeling a sledge hammer come down right onto the top of my head causing an immediate sense of disorientation, confusion and pain.

"Guh, the fuck was that for!?" I roared out glaring at the orange haired girl who decided to stop me and the swordsman's little staring contest, how fucking rude we were in the middle of something here!

"How about you sit down and shut up before I thump you on the head again for being an idiot." she threatened waving her fist in front of my face before turning her glare to the swordsman. "And you quit instigating a fight with a man who is clearly suffering from dehydration and was just recently drowning!" she yelled at the swordsman before throwing a fist on top of his head.

"Now you," Quickly pointing to me, I watch how she grabbed my arm and pulled me away. "Come on despite being on the ocean you should go and have a damn shower and dry up, we don't need you catching hyperthermia and dying on the ship." With the sudden change to her angered voice ,I couldn't help but just go along with the girl, still mentally swearing off at the swordsman who was being a complete dick to me.

Next time I get the chance I throwing him over the railing and see how he likes it when he's about to drown in the water and shit.

While the girl dragged me off to what I'm assuming is the bathroom I couldn help but feel my mind starting to zone out slightly when I took in the exterior of this place or now that I think about it this ship felt kind familiar to me it was almost like I've seen this place before and these people kinda look familiar but still kinda looked off to me for some reason.

I mean if I just replace some of these realistic looking things with something else, maybe just maybe-

"Hey are you listening to me?"

"Huh wha-oh uh sorry, kinda zoned out for a second there." I exclaimed, only now noticing how I was I standing in the middle of a bathroom.

"Just take off your clothes and hopefully the guys clothes can more or less fit you, if not well your going to have to wait until these dry up." The girl said gesturing to my soaked clothes.

"Alright uh… thanks for helping me." I thanked before slightly scratching my head. Why do I have to feel awkward from saying that?... Now that I think about I guess everything that comes out of my mouth either sounds rude or too blunt and too honest. People don't exactly take well to it.

God, I hate having Aspergers.

"You know as much as you sound like you're not thankful, I actually believe you." The girl exclaimed with a half lidded look on her face.

"Um… ok then." I said with a small movement in my shoulders that represented a shrug of somesorts.

"Well at least you're not the weirdest out of us all." The girl snorted, before leaving me in the bathroom. "Leave your clothes in that basket, I'll be back with new ones."

"Again, thank you." I quickly said before she closed the door, leaving me to finally let out a sigh of relief. Holy shit that was fucking stressful. I couldn't help but immediately drop my shoulders and slouch forwards in a tired fashion.

"Where in the fuck am I?" I mumbled in confusion, slowly pulling each article of clothing off only to stop when I got to my pants. "Wasn't I listening to music beforehand?" I questioned, moving to my pockets, pulling out a wallet from my left pocket and my phone from my right with a still connected pair of white earphones.

"What's the likeliness that my phones possibly waterproof?" I mumbled clicking the power button and waiting for anything to happen… Well, shit, at least that answered that question.

Great no phone, am soaked, and more or less already ticked someone off on this here ship, what next a Godzilla knock off?

"Screw it." I sighed, setting my things down on the nearby sink. I felt an uncharacteristic feeling of exhaustion when I stepped into the shower, hot water dripping right down on top of my head.

"Sipping on straight chlorine… let the vibe slide over me." I mumbled out, eyes closed as I felt my body relax under the hot water warming me up. "This beat is a chemical, this beat is a chemical when I leave don't save my seat, I'll be back when it's all complete." I calmly sung out in a low tone, something I found a slight talent at.

"Sipping on straight… chlorine." I finally sung out to myself.

Chapter 1 end