Hey everyone. Here's something completely different from what I usually do. Not a one-shot. Not a new chapter to Ruination. Just a little side-fic of some random SI getting matched with 'Mouse-Girl'. I was looking for something different to do other than work on my main story, so a friend suggested I'd do this.

As a disclaimer, this isn't going to be a max-effort project. Just something for fun. So I don't know how often I'll update this… if at all.

With that said, let's get right into it.

Chapter 1: Shoplifting

Sometimes I wonder how I keep getting myself involved in messes like these. Running away from an overweight cop? All because of a stolen can of beer? While onlookers don't even bother to step in? Yep. I have no idea how this ended up happening.

Let's retrace my steps.

My name is Nathan Pride. I'm a seventeen-year-old dropout with nothing special going for him other than being completely average.

My story begins where all good stories begin: your local dollar store.

Being a minimum wage worker at a restaurant doesn't exactly leave you with a lot of money to sustain yourself. So I'm cutting corners wherever possible.

Loading several packs of instant noodles into my shopping tray, I heave a sigh. How much longer can I keep going with nothing but noodles on the menu? Do I really want to find out?

Moving on…

Next, I stop by what I refer to as the 'booze isle'. I need at least something to help me keep the cheap food down. And what better way to do it than with cheap watered down beer.

My hand races over the various brands, guiding my eyes as it explores.

"Where is it… Where is it," I mumble before taking hold my favourite (read: the cheapest) brand. I quickly start loading nearly the entire supply before turning around with a satisfied grin. It's going to be a cold day in hell.

Though, before I can even consider moving to the cashier, I am met with the gaze of a girl no older than myself. Her burning red eyes compliment that toxic green hairstyle and her oversized mouse hoodie. Not to mention her… interesting skin tone. And no, that's not me being racist. In fact, I don't think you can be racist against someone with ashen grey skin.

Is she a vampire or something?

The Vampire girl stands frozen in my view. I'm not entirely sure why, but she's looking at me as if I'm growing a second head out of my shoulder.

Soon, I realise what her problem is. My eyes trail down and see a large lump of something unnatural under her hoodie. Considering she has her hand over it, I can only assume she's carrying something.

And considering she's standing in the booze isle's 'treasure trove', where all the expensive brands are stashed, I assume that she's just like me and has no money to pay for such fine refreshments.

Our eyes meet once more. She's practically pleading for me to not rat her out. The nerve! These actions cannot be left unanswered! What kind of citizen would I be if I ignore such treason!?

I slowly walk up to her. Each step I take shoots her eyes in a different direction. As I stand beside her, I lean a little closer, smacking my lips once before I speak. "Hello," I greet before walking past her.

A citizen that dropped out of school and lives off instant noodles. That's what I'd be.

If she wants to steal some beer to buy other necessities, I fully support her cause.

There's but a short line consisting of an old lady and a man in a business suit before me. The moment the elderly woman has paid, I feel the presence of the Vampire girl behind me. I glance over, shooting her a questioning look before I realise that she's not carrying any other supplies, safe for the stolen goods under her hoodie.

What's she trying to do? Does she want to look suspicious or something!? Don't get in line without buying anything and with such an obvious lump under your hoodie!

I shake my head at her and silently tell her that she's standing out like this. Yet, she takes a step closer to me, leaving but a few inches between my back and herself.

And then it clicked.

She's trying to blend in with me. Because I'm actually buying something. That way she doesn't have to buy anything herself. She really is… clever. But if she gets caught, I'm going to pretend I don't know her.

The businessman pays for his groceries and steps out of the line. Oh boy. Here we go.

A friendly smile compliments the cashier's warm welcome. "Good evening."

I nod and begin unloading my items. The Vampire girl practically hides behind me, to ensure the cashier won't catch on to her ploy. I feel a can of cold beer pressing against my liver… Quite literally. There's some metaphor in there somewhere.

The cashier is none the wiser. She scans all of my items, offering me a kind smile those times our gazes connected.

An eternity later and she's done. "That'll be twenty credits, sir."

She snaps me out of my tension. I pat myself down for my wallet before remembering I don't even have one. Rather, I just carry some loose change on me at all times.

I drop a handful of credits in her hand. She counts the coin before smiling once more. "Thank you. Have a nice day you two."

You two… Yeah. She fell for it. I feel bad for her, but at the same time, I don't. It's her fault for not noticing the massive lump of stolen goods behind my back. I'm just an innocent bystander in this situation.

She packs my items in a white bag before handing them to me. Okay, now I do kind of feel bad for her. She didn't deserve this.

The Vampire girl and I walk away together. I can feel my heart beating faster and faster with anxiety. Are we really getting away with this?

"Sir?" The cashier calls after me. Shoot!

Mid-step, we both turn around. "Y-Yes?"

"Would you like a receipt?"

I blankly stare at her, blinking twice before I face away. "No thank you!" I cry out perhaps a little too aggressively. Why is my eyebrow twitching like that?

The Vampire girl and I throttle out of the store and we both let out a breath of relief. I should start writing my will, because that experience stolen several years of my life.

I turn to my left, looking down at the punk girl. She doesn't look thankful in the slightest. I mean, I didn't expect to get a standing ovation, but she could at least show me some gratitude. Then again, maybe the fact she hasn't sunken her sharp teeth into my neck is her way of saying thank you.

Yeah, no, that's probably all I'm getting.

I coyly smile at her regardless. "Well… Enjoy your booze."

Probably not the best parting words, but what else am I supposed to tell a total stranger that I helped in a heist on the treasure trove of booze isle.

It takes a few more steps before I hear the Vampire girl call me back. So that's what her voice sounds like.

"Hey!"

"Hm?"

I look back. She's holding one of the cans up in her hand. "Catch."

With a perfect arch, the beer flies into my hand. 'Graggy Ice' the label read. Some of the PC Continent's finest beer. Expensive with a capital E. You're supposed to 'drink it with your bros from Bro-macia'... Or so it goes.

This is… Hey. This isn't such a bad reward. I'll take it. I mean, it's but one can, but a good one at that. Yep. It will be a cold day in hell.

A nod and a smile is all I give her as a thank you. She does the same, but with far more confidence in her expression. And just like that, she wanders off.

"... That was… something." I place my bag of groceries beside me and pop open the can of Graggy Ice. Jerking my head back, I chug half the can in one go. Oh man. This stuff is as good as they say it is.

With a pleasured "ahhh", I lower the can. Oh man. This stuff really is good. And it's already… Whew… It's already taking… effect. Oh man. I'm seeing double already. Someone stop shaking me.

"Hey! You!"

A deep voice behind me catches my attention. A man in uniform. Overweight. And very angry. Uh-oh. Looks like we didn't fool anyone with our shoplifting antics. Quick. Gotta make up an excuse.

"I didn't steal anything!"

Perfect.

He gives me a confused look before pointing at my beer. "I was… Sir, I was going to tell you off for publicly drinking."

… Oh.

His frown returns. "Sir. Do these items belong to you? Do you have a receipt?"

A receipt? Sure I do!

…

Oh wait.

"Errr…"

Cold sweat started to run down my spine.

"I see… Sir, could you please come with me? I need to ask you a few more questions."

That line was enough to sober me up again. I blink and nod back at the officer as I reach down for my bag.

As soon as I get it, only one line is on my mind.

"Leg it, Nathan!"

I run off as fast as my legs can carry me. Which isn't as fast as I had hoped, as I'm still a little tipsy from that beer. What was in that thing!?

The officer retrieves his whistle and blows it. "Halt! Stop! In the name of the law!"

I can feel his pursuit on me. He doesn't close the distance, yet he manages to keep up with me. Damn it. If only I didn't drink that stuff! It's too strong for someone like me!

And… Well… I guess that's how I ended up here. The lesson of today is that you shouldn't drink and shoplift at the same time.