"Thanks for waiting until Frank left, Dr. Kenny; I know he's worried about me but he really does need to go freshen up."

"Monica, pilots have lived weeks in those suits with no ill effect. He was just excusing himself to give us some privacy so you can talk without having to watch what you say."

"I kinda thought so, but I wasn't sure."

"Yup. Don't hold it against him; he's doing it for you. Now, as you know all the reports say that there is nothing wrong with your mechanicals. I don't think we have to go over that again; it would just chew up time and accomplish nothing."

"I know. I'm going crazy, right? It can't be like organ rejection in the old transplant days can it?"

"No chance. There haven't been any cases of a rejection of a shell person to a ship yet. And if there was, it would have happened a long time ago. No, this is something else we're dealing with now. Now, Doctor Anna has already talked my ear off about things to investigate and I might have to ask a lot of questions but since there is no physical reason for the problem I don't see why we can't correct it over time. I wish I could tell you how long, but until I find out what's happening it would just be wishful thinking." Kenny sighed. "Doctors do a lot of wishful thinking; sometimes even more than the patient I think. So tell me: How has it been working with Frank?"

"This is just between you and me?" Monica asked.

Kenny almost imagined that she looked both ways before asking. "Parts of it will be. If parts of it concern him directly then I really think he should know, don't you?"

"Of course, but I don't want to ruin our partnership because I don't know how he'd feel about it. I never had a father growing up..."

"No, you were given up because of your birth condition and taken care of by hospital staff."

"Right. Well, Frank is everything I imagined what a father would be like. He's a partner for sure, but he's like...I don't know how to say it exactly...bigger than I am."

"You mean he's the boss?"

"No! I provide as much input as he does. But he's taught me so much, supported me, and encouraged me at every turn. He never had any family, so I must be sort of like a daughter to him I think. We don't talk about it, but that's how it feels."

"That's a little unusual, but understandable. So you're both okay with the relationship?"

"We're like twins sometimes, the way we think."

"Anything sexual?"

Monica made a sound that almost sounded like gagging, although it was impossible for her to do so. "Doctor Kenny, please! The idea even turns my...well, you'd call it a stomach but to me it's the garbage recycle system."

"That's probably healthy then. Some brawns become infatuated with their other half or the other way around and have to quit. The relationship seems to be okay, so my next question is have the assignments been working out?"

"Yeah. The first one was the hardest probably; we were still getting used to being a team. A few bumps along the way, but we've been getting better. If we could get some of the bigger assignments it would be even better."

"Better?" Kenny asked. "I thought the assignments were okay."

"They are, but we aren't building up credits fast enough. I need to pay off the Institute debts so we can really start to do well."

"You mean both of you need to build up credits. It's a partnership, remember?" Kenny prodded.

"That's what I meant. Frank does great; I just need to do better on my end."

"Does Frank say things that make you think you're not doing well enough?"

"Never. Frank is the one that's always trying to slow me down when I get too excited and try going off in three directions at once. He says we'll get there in time, but I get a little impatient sometimes compared to him."

"Age and experience will do that. I've been around so long sometimes I forget where I'm going." Monica reacted with a chortle. "It's good to hear you laugh. Do you think Frank gets impatient with your progress?"

"Yes. I mean no. I mean, wouldn't he?"

"Ah, good question. You just told me that he's always trying to get you to slow down. How could he be impatient but tell you to take it easier at the same time? Does that make any sense?" Kenny asked, probing gently but persistently.

"No," Monica was slow to respond "I guess it doesn't. I know I'd be if I were in his place."

"Probably. But guess what - Frank is in Frank's place. If you trust him, take him on his word. But enough of that for now - did you have any interesting assignments in the last couple of months?" Kenny chose to change topics for now; they could always come back to it if he needed.

"We made our usual courier runs, a replacement generator to an outpost, and resupply missions to a couple of survey teams. We had our first time that passengers had an argument between themselves; that was fun. I just locked the doors until they got so mad at me they forgot about being mad at each other."

"Foes teaming up against a common opponent; I've seen it many times in a lot of different ways. Meet any other brainships?"

"Never on the same pad. I talked to a couple for short bursts while we were in transit but the vectors didn't allow for anything long. Always busy with something or going somewhere" Monica summarized.

"Okay with the landings you've made?"

"The first one was the most exciting because I'd never been off-planet before my transfer. I got to land on a field that was tilted from the swampy land settling beneath it. A couple that had noxious atmospheres. And a nice one that reminded me of Earth except the sky was the wrong color."

"No airless worlds, eh?"

"No, just the...wait...there was one. It was boring and kinda dusty. Almost lost Frank in the cloud we kicked up from landing. I forgot about that one. But that's about it."

"How about any other brawns? Have you talked to any?"

"Nope. Not too many wandering around alone out there and Frank hasn't brought any aboard that he knows when we've been at a port. I'm sure there are others out there, but we just haven't had a chance to socialize much."

"If you could meet any other brainship, who would it be?" Kenny changed the direction again.

"Tia."

"Tia?" the doctor asked. "You mean Hypatia Cade?"

"Sure! I've read about her - if she isn't the best one out there she will be. She's smart, she's successful and she hasn't been doing this much longer than I have. She's my role model."

"I worked with her a lot. Maybe I could arrange for you to meet her sometime."

"Oh no, I couldn't Dr. Kenny! Not for real. I just imagine meeting her; I think I would die if I actually met her."

"They say you should never meet your idols; we'll just leave that for now. So you know about her then?"

"Sure, I read all about her. About her parents searching for Salomon-Kildaire civilization sites, how she got paralyzed, and how she was so smart she really started paying off her debt."

"She sure was a joy to work with; I knew she'd be perfect the first day I met her" Kenny admitted, thinking back. "There was something about her that was ancient and young at the same time, so she had the smarts and the drive to make something of herself." Now he was going to throw in a ringer. "Do you think Frank would do better with another partner?"

Kenny waited for an answer and got none. He waited a full minute before trying again. "Monica, did you hear the question?"

"Yes."

"You don't want to answer it?"

"No."

"It might be important. I think it is."

"You can't tell Frank. You have to promise."

"I'll make you a counter proposal: I won't tell him, but if I feel that Frank has to know then you have to tell him."

"I don't like it. Do I have to?"

"No, you don't have to but I think it's important that you tell me for sure."

"Okay, but you can tell Frank away from me and that's my final offer."

"Deal."

"Fair enough." Monica let out an audible sigh; it was purely for effect because she didn't have lungs. She continued in a much more subdued voice. "Yes, I think he would."

"Why?"

"Because...because then he could be more successful and then make more credits and pay off his debt faster and then he could do what he wants and not have to be with me anymore and maybe start a family and I know he's older but not too old and then he won't have to worry about me anymore because he can find a better ship and I don't know I don't know..." Monica lapsed into silence.

Kenny let some time pass as he contemplated his next play. "Monica, you're still there?"

"Yes."

"Good, I was hoping you wouldn't go take a walk without telling me. Let me tell you something about Frank you probably don't know. He has a family."

"What? I've looked at his records and he hasn't said anything about it going on the second year that we've worked together. How could he have a family, Dr. Kenny?"

"Because I see it from a different perspective than you. You're his family, I'm his family, his brawn friends are his family...he's got a big family. You're his daughter, his friends are his brothers and sisters and I'm either a grandfather or cranky uncle, I'm not sure which. He doesn't want to start a family because he already has one. Do you know how many families have a business where the parent teaches the child to run it and they work side by side? Growing up, my neighbors had a restaurant that was in the family for four generations. Through good times and bad they worked together, because that's what families do."

"I guess."

"I don't guess. Well, maybe sometimes. And here's a guess that I'm going to throw out now, so keep an open mind and listen to all of it before you say anything - maybe it's just a wild story made up by an old man. You really care for Frank, and you think of him like your father. You both work well together, but you think you're progressing too slowly and it's impeding the attempt to pay off both of your debts. You don't want to be a burden to Frank because you think he wants to be off somewhere else and you're like an anchor keeping him back. By the way, neither one of you would have made it this far without the other. But some little part deep inside your brain was trying to find a way to free Frank from you, and when you read about Tia it gave that part an idea. When you landed on that airless world, you knew it was an EsKay site and that dust was perfect. A part of you started planning in secret, hidden away where you wouldn't notice, to sabotage your work. It made you start to have symptoms like Tia did in her body, but it was the ship that was affected in your case. Because the part that was doing it was secret, or what we call subconscious, you didn't know it. But Frank didn't leave because he cares for you too, even now that he's back where he could get another ship. Now you're stuck because that secret part won't let go because it doesn't know that I know and now you know too. Now I want you to think about it for five minutes before you say anything at all. Start."

Kenny pretended to study the switches on the console while he waited, doing a silent count in his head. After five minutes elapsed, he waited an additional two minutes to be sure.

"Time's up. Did you think about it, Monica?"

"Yes."

"And what do you think?"

"I still can't control anything."

"I know you can't. But how does my guess sound? Could it be something like what happened?"

"I followed along, and...well, it fits...but it doesn't feel right. Why would I do that?"

"The brain is a funny thing. We'll never know everything about it, and sometimes even when we think we have the answers it surprises us with something completely different. And it's really hard to see something when you're too close to it, so that's why doctors can sometimes help because we can stand back and rearrange the puzzle pieces until they make more sense. Sometimes. But I think I'm going to need more help here. Do you mind if I call in your sister?"

"I don't have a sister. You got me from an orphanage."

"No, I mean your sister. Another shellperson that knows more about being a brainship than I ever will; you can talk to her for a while. Are you there, Tia?" Kenny said, raising his voice slightly.

"A couple pads over, but I read you loud and clear. Hello, Monica!"

"I'm going to die; I can't stand it!" Monica said in a near panic.

"Cool your jets, Monica. You probably will someday, but no one knows how long we'll live in our new homes. I'm happy to meet you. You really read about me? I'd introduce you to my brawn but he's at the base right now."

"Mine too."

As the two started to chat and the conversation flowed easier and easier, Kenny backed out of the room and saw himself out of the airlock to join Frank in the base.

...

Kenny and Frank were on their third game of chess the next day, playing standing up at a table in the lounge. Kenny had won the first, but Frank managed a draw on the second. The third was well along when a messenger approached the two players.

"Are either of you Frank Weller?"

"I am" Frank responded.

"I have a call on hold for you at the wall-com; key in your access code to retrieve it, please." The messenger departed and Frank excused himself to make his way over to the com unit and punched in his code.

"Hey Frank! Guess where I am?" Monica's happy voice practically chirped.

"Ummm, not on your landing pad I'd guess. Did Tia help?"

"She's the best sister a person could ever have and it seems like I've known her forever of course I know about her but now that I've met her I..." Monica paused. "Sorry, I'm getting carried away...Doctor Kenny helped a lot, but Tia knows exactly how I feel! She got me straightened out again and we've been checking out my systems just beyond orbit. Weeee!"

Frank laughed. It was good to have the old partner back again. "So you're all fired up and ready to start the assignments that have been piling up?"

"Yes. Well, no actually. I think you and I need to go on a little trip just for fun. We need to talk and I don't want to mix business with pleasure. Tia tells me there are roses out there and I have to take time to smell them; at least she said something like that, just not in so many words. Just listen to me - I'm still excited from being back and just wearing out my speech circuits. Want to go for a ride? Let's go while we can."

"Sure" Frank grinned. "Can we play chess?"

"Chess? I may be better now but I'm still not that crazy!"

The End

A/N: This story gelled from two different inspirations. The first was an early short story from Larry Niven called "Becalmed in Hell" where a pilot is convinced his ship's cybernetic brain/personality is going crazy but it turns out in the end to be a mechanical issue. The second is McCaffrey's "The Ship Who Searched" which had to deal with the life of a girl who became a shellperson in a brainship and her trials and tribulations before success.

I was thinking in the case of the first story when I read it decades ago, what if it were just the opposite and it seemed to be a mechanical failure but it turned out to be psychological? That idea has been on a shelf in my head ever since, but when I read McCaffrey's story the background of the main character merged together with that old idea to create this tale.

Yes, psychological problems aren't cured quickly as they are here but for the sake of this story they were.