For those of you that haven't read the first in this series (Gold Coin) here's what you need to know:

- Arthur found out about Merlin's magic towards the end of season one, and (obviously?) decided not to have Merlin executed

- Morgana is like 98% sure Merlin has magic, but hasn't had it confirmed

- Gaius doesn't know that Arthur (or Morgana) knows

Just so you know, the planned pairings in this story are Arwen and Mergana - however, I don't write romance much, and this will be background. This story is intended to have more focus on platonic relationships.

This chapter is entirely Morgana's POV, but future chapters with switch between Morgana, Arthur, and possibly others.

The Nightmare Begins

Morgana woke suddenly, terrified that the fire from her nightmare had followed her into the waking world. It was still dark outside, but the light from the flames still burned brightly in her mind's eye even as her actual eyes saw nothing but a dim candle. At least for the first moment. Then Morgana's dream and her real life seemed to merge into one as the candle flame rose impossibly high.

Morgana heard herself scream in unison with a bright flash of lightning when she saw the flames spread to her curtains. Cool air rushed in with the burst of windows, shattering the barrier between her and the world in which her dream had taken place.

Feet were running in the hall outside now, but Morgana barely heard them. She could only stare in terror at the destruction she had caused.

0o0o0o0o0

Gaius finally backed away from Morgana. He had taken on a professional silence as he had briefly examined Morgana for burns or any other injuries. He had found no physical damage, but Morgana knew that she wouldn't be allowed to leave just yet.

"What I don't understand, Morgana, is how the fire started in the first place."

"It happened so quickly." Morgana could still feel the heat of the fire around her when she closed her eyes. "It was terrifying."

"It's alright," Gaius reassured, "You're safe now."

Morgana shook her head. She was anything but safe after that fire. "You're the only person I've told about my dreams. I know I can trust you, Gaius."

"Yes, of course you can."

"It was me. I set the room alight. I started the fire."

"I don't understand. Did you knock a candle over?"

Morgana clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking. She wasn't sure what was causing the tremors - fear from the night's events, or anger at Gaius. His pitiful excuse for a lie, "I don't understand" didn't fool Morgana. She would have just stopped the conversation there if it weren't for her own desperation for the answers that Gaius could hold.

"No that's not what happened. I did it just by looking at it, the flames suddenly leapt higher"

"It could've been a gust of wind," Gaius suggested.

"It wasn't," Morgana insisted. "It was me. It was magic."

"My child…"

"I'm not a child!"

Gaius' response grew stonier than normal after that. "Last night was an accident. It had nothing to do with you."

Accident it may have been, but it had everything to do with her.

"How could it have? I am going to draw you up a fresh remedy that will make you feel better, I promise."

"No, Gaius, it wouldn't help." She had taken one of Gaius' draughts before sleeping the previous night. It hadn't done much good.

"You must trust me."

Morgana had trusted Gaius for years, since she had arrived in Camelot as a ten-year-old girl, back when her nightmares hadn't come as often or been as bad. She still trusted him with most things. But maybe it was time to search for a real solution, even if the thought was almost as terrifying as the dreams themselves.

There were two other routes she could see herself taking from here. She could find the druids, or she could ask Merlin. Having a friend that knew about magic, that could possibly teach her should have been some comfort to her, she knew that, but there were still too many ways things could go wrong.

What if Merlin didn't actually have magic?

What if he wasn't powerful or experienced enough to help her?

She knew that Arthur, even if Merlin had magic, trusted his servant with his life, but would he be able to give that trust to Morgana? Was there any way to get help from Merlin without revealing her secret to Arthur?

0o0o0o0o0

"I can stay if that would make you feel better."

"You've done so much already." Gwen truly had been a friend more than a servant that day. Morgana hadn't searched for any more answers yet, although she knew she would have to, and soon.

Gwen smiled. "I don't mind."

Morgana didn't know if that was really the truth - coming from Gwen, it might be. Or it could just be meant to comfort and nothing else. There was a small room attached to Morgana's that was meant for a servant to stay in, but Morgana had never wanted Gwen to see just how often she woke up in fear because of her dreams.

"I'll be fine. Really."

Gwen reached for Morgana's hand and squeezed it once before standing to go.

"Gwen," Morgana called.

Gwen stopped by the door and looked back.

"Take the candle."

Little did Morgana know that in only a few hours she would manage to destroy something without the candle's flame.

The vase from her table shattered as she once again woke from a nightmare, glass, flowers, and water spreading over the floor. She was almost sure she could smell the smoke from the night before, that she had managed to light a fire without even a candle this time, but a few moments of barely controlled deep breaths wiped away the illusion.

Hope that her magic could be forgotten or pushed aside for even a few nights had disappeared, though. She knew that she had to act.

Before she knew it, Morgana was back in the physician's chambers, even though it was still dark.

Gaius was nowhere to be seen, which, fortunately for Morgana, was exactly what she needed.

"Morgana?" Merlin was awake and looking at her with an expression that Morgana couldn't quite define.

Realizing that she had just run across the castle still wearing her nightgown, Morgana figured that she would probably look at herself in a similar manner if she weren't so desperate for answers.

"Gaius isn't here right now, he went to speak to the king. Is there something I can do?"

"No," Morgana said. "No, Merlin, I'm here to talk to you."

Merlin waited.

Morgana opened her mouth to tell him, to ask him for help, but she found that she couldn't. Somehow, telling Merlin that she had magic scared her more than telling Gaius. Maybe it was because she had actually taken the time to think about telling Merlin, whereas her confession to Gaius had been spontaneous. Or maybe it was because telling Merlin somehow made the magic more real than it had been before.

It meant there was no going back into secrecy.

"You can trust me, Morgana. You know you can."

"The remedies," she began, "they don't work. It's magic, Merlin. I have magic."

She half expected to see the look of denial cross Merlin's face as it had on Gaius. Maybe he wouldn't even believe her words, maybe he'd think it was some kind of trick.

"I know," Merlin said.

Morgana wanted to cry (she didn't, that would ruin her reputation and she knew that if she started crying now, she wouldn't be able to stop). She wanted to cry because of fear - and because of relief.

"I've been trying to get Gaius to talk to you about it, but he keeps refusing. He says it's safer for you this way and forbade me from bringing it up with you. Since you're the one who started this conversation though, hopefully I won't get into any trouble, but all the same."

"Keep this between us?"

"Yeah."

"I won't tell Gaius if you won't tell Arthur."

Merlin frowned slightly. "Deal, for now. I think you should tell Arthur eventually."

"Perhaps." Morgana didn't find the point worth arguing at the moment, not when more important matters were yet to be discussed. "Do you know how to help me?" she asked.

Merlin shrugged. "I'm not completely sure, but I can try to teach you. Knowing how to control your magic will help you prevent events like that fire. I can try to get away from my other duties to teach you - it would be easier if Arthur knew why I had to —"

"No."

"Okay, okay, not yet then. I'll let you know a time and place to meet tomorrow. In the meantime, you could let Uther know that you're feeling fine. Arthur 'accidentally' misplaced the list of people suspected of consorting with sorcerers, but that won't stop the searches for long. You not being concerned with this could get Uther to relax security."

"Arthur helped to protect people?"

Merlin nodded. "Of course."

Morgana took a step backward. She hadn't realized how much Arthur had done. She thought that, at the most, he had accepted that Merlin was an exception to the "magic is evil" rule, and at the least, had decided to ignore Merlin's talent and pretend like he'd never figured out the secret.

If Arthur really was helping those with Magic, maybe Merlin was right.

0o0o0o0

Merlin hadn't been lying when he'd said that it would be hard to find time in his schedule. An entire day later Morgana still hadn't heard anything from him, though he had sent up some new flowers to replace the ones that had crashed with the vase.

Morgana had just decided that she might as well prepare for bed, that Merlin hadn't been able to make it that day, when someone knocked on her door.

She pulled the door open immediately, eager to begin lessons.

Merlin entered, holding a familiar bottle.

"I thought I'd made it clear to you, Merlin." Morgana scowled at the bottle. "Sleeping potions don't work." Maybe Merlin wasn't the solution she'd been looking for if he still thought that they would be useful.

"Gaius asked me to deliver this - and how else was I supposed to get past the guards back there? It's dark out and if I didn't bring this I wouldn't have an excuse to be up here."

Morgana laughed. She really needed to work on trusting people.

"Sit." She offered him a seat at her table as she took one herself.

Merlin reluctantly did so as he admitted that he couldn't stay long.

"I understand. I realise how frightening all this must be for you. Especially for you."

"Why especially for me?"

"You're the King's ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone. You've saved people from being arrested by talking to Uther today, but that doesn't change that you have to hide what you are right under his nose, and believe me, I know how scary that can be." His eyes met hers from the other side of the table, and Morgana was suddenly curious to see what it would look like when his eyes shifted from blue to gold.

It didn't seem possible.

"I'll start teaching you one spell tonight," Merlin continued, "but my main reason for coming here was to make sure that you know you're not alone anymore. You have me. And you should tell Arthur. We'll work on this together."

"Thank you," Morgana whispered, but she could only be held back by sentiment for a moment. "Could we… get to that spell?"

Merlin grinned. "Of course, my lady. I thought we could start out with fire. Not only is it one of the first spells I learned, but I thought you should know how to put out a fire quickly should you set one on accident, and light fires intentionally next time."

"Show me," Morgana ordered, though not unkindly.

"Forbearnan."

Merlin's eyes glowed brightly as the small flame crackled in his palm. Morgana had never felt more certain that she would win the fight with her dreams. How could she not, now that she had a teacher.

0o0o0o0

Looking back on it, going into the forest to practice magic on her own probably hadn't been the best idea, especially since she hadn't told anyone she was going. Gwen only knew that Morgana would be out for the day, she hadn't talked to Merlin since the previous night, and no one else knew anything.

The pitying or fearful glances from servants and ladies of the court that Morgana had endured the past two days had been just as confining as staying in her quarters would have been, and she hadn't felt like waiting for a troupe of guards to be set up to accompany her. Guards would've meant that she couldn't try to start a fire with nothing more than words and the power inside her.

When she spotted the first serket, she regretted not bringing someone with her.

"Forbearnan." She held out her hand, hoping that a flame would appear, even though she had barely been able to create anything the previous night, and only with an intense focus that she didn't have now.

"Forbearnan. Forbearnan." Her voice was too shaky, and she didn't feel anything as she said the words.

The serket was only a couple feet away when she tipped sideways and barely acknowledged that there was something or someone moving in her peripheral vision before she fell unconscious.

0o0o0o0

Morgana didn't wake up in the castle, but someone stroked her forehead with a cloth.

It wasn't someone she knew.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the man said. "You've hurt your leg. Try not to move it."

"What happened?"

"You were stung by a serket. I came to help. My name's Aglain. Relax, Morgana. You're safe now."

"Who told you my name?" Morgana's eyes wandered around the room and found one other person at the same time the other voice entered into the conversation

"I did."

"You."

"When the serket attacked last night, Mordred was able to sense your distress in his mind," Aglain said.

"Hello Morgana." Mordred smiled at her.

"Did you hear that? How did you do that?"

Aglain seemed to find humor in her surprise. "We don't always need words to speak to one another."

"Now I can take care of you like you did me," Mordred said.

"Yes," Morgana agreed. "Thank you."

She was unable to walk to the entrance to the tent to see what was outside, but there wasn't much there to see. She couldn't see any other tents beyond the entrance and heard only the usual movement from the wind brushing against leaves.

"Are you here alone?" she asked.

Aglain shook his head. "Not alone, but this is a small group. We don't usually pass so close to Camelot, but one of our seers thought it was necessary. Perhaps they saw a vision of you, Lady Morgana."

"Is that what I am?" Morgana asked him. "A seer?"

Aglain nodded.

Mordred took her hand in his and looked at her. His smile wasn't a huge one, but Morgana could sense that his presence there, his hand in hers, was meant to be a source of comfort.

"People who are able to do this are few and far between," Aglain continued. "You have a gift."

A harsh laugh came unbidden. "If only I could see it as such. A gift is supposed to bring happiness, not force someone to hide, not give them dreams of a future that they can't change."

"It is a gift," Mordred assured.

"It will be many years before you're able to understand it fully, but when you do," Aglain promised, "You will be able to see its usefulness. This isn't something to be afraid of. You can stay with us as long as you wish. You don't have to be afraid of Uther."

Morgana didn't accept or refuse that offer. She thought about what it would mean to go back with these people and live with the druid. She would see Mordred as often as she wanted, and she would be surrounded by people that didn't fear her for what she was but accept and encourage her.

Wasn't it all she had ever wanted? Even before she knew her dreams were magic, had she ever truly fit in with the people of Camelot? She was admired, and she had Gwen as a friend, but women of other noble families either disliked spending time with Morgana or were so shallow or oblivious that Morgana had no wish to spend time with them.

"Sleep now, Morgana," Aglain said after allowing her a couple moments to think. "You can make your decision when you have healed and are well rested."

0o0o0o0

"Morgana!"

She was woken a lot less gently the next time, and not by either Aglain or Mordred. Someone was shaking her, and they didn't seem willing to wait for her to wake up in her own time.

"Merlin?" she asked, confused. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to take you back to Camelot."

"I just got here, I want to stay a while," Morgana protested. "How did you even find me?"

"You've been asleep longer than you think - nearly two days now. Your absence from Camelot didn't go unnoticed. Uther's sent out search parties."

"Search parties?"

"Yes," Merlin helped get Morgana to her feet while he talked. "He thinks you've been kidnapped."

Morgana sighed. Of course, Uther had probably done something rash. How could she have even entertained the idea that she could simply leave Camelot and find peace?

"About a dozen people have been arrested and will be executed if you're not found."

"If I return how can I prevent myself from falling to that same fate?"

"I promise, that won't happen. You know I won't tell a soul."

0o0o0o0

Arthur's patrol found them near Camelot. It hadn't taken any more than the threat of possible executions to get Morgana to leave Aglain, Mordred, and their companions, all of whom assured her that they would meet again someday.

"Where have you been, Morgana?" Arthur practically leapt off his horse to reach her. "We've been searching all this time, and you've been what?" He glanced behind her to where Merlin stood innocently holding the leaves he had picked from the plant a couple feet behind him. "Gathering herbs with Merlin?" He gave both of them a look that quite clearly said he didn't believe a word he was saying.

Talking only to Merlin this time he said, "I should've known you had something to do with this when you didn't turn up with breakfast this morning."

Arthur didn't question either of them on the short trip back (In which Morgana was loaned a horse, and Merlin was made to walk) but Morgana guessed that an interrogation was only postponed until they weren't surrounded by knights.

When they reached the square, it only took a minute for Uther to reach them. He wrapped his arms around her in an embrace that Morgana did not feel like responding to. She leaned in anyway to keep up appearances.

"I was so, so worried about you."

"There was no need. I went on a walk yesterday elephant

0o0o0o0

"Sleep well," Merlin said as he walked out the door.

Morgana smiled. She didn't doubt that she would still have her dreams, but the thought of them was already a little less terrifying. Even so, she wasn't quite ready to get ready to sleep yet, so she followed Merlin out.

She didn't get far before she heard Arthur's voice at the base of the stairs. She stopped walking — she hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but this could be interesting.

"This has to stop," Arthur said.

The sound of Merlin's footsteps stopped and Arthur kept talking.

"The King would have your head if he found out, and there's no point denying it."

"Denying what?" Merlin asked.

"Your affections for the Lady Morgana."

Morgana's face felt warmer than usual and she had the odd feeling that she might laugh. She could see why Arthur might come to that conclusion with the flowers, and Morgana being found with Merlin earlier that day, but it was clear that Arthur had to be told what was really going on.

"Right," Merlin said.

"Take a bit of advice from someone who knows about women."

"Well, if such a person existed, I would."

At this, Morgana actually did laugh.

"Morgana?" Arthur looked upwards and saw her at the edge of the staircase. "Have you been there the whole time?"

Both Arthur and Merlin were red in the face and carried the expression and stance of two children caught red-handed in something they were specifically told not to do.

"We need to talk," Morgana said. She beckoned both of them to follow her.

They looked at each other and followed.

Back in her chambers, Arthur started to talk again.

"If you heard what I was saying, Morgana, I don't see why you would disagree. This is for your well being as much as Merlin's safety. The two of you shouldn't even be friends let alone anything —"

"Arthur, I have magic."

"- else." Arthur froze. "What? What did you just say?"

"I have magic," she repeated. "That's why Merlin's been coming to see me. I need help controlling it so that I don't cause another fire, or worse."

"You have - you can't have. I would know if you had. Wouldn't I?"

Morgana watched as Arthur stumbled through his confusion. "So, Arthur, if you want what's best for me, you'll help us keep this a secret."

"Of course," Arthur said immediately. "I can do that."

"Good," Morgana said.

She waited for them to leave, but the two were apparently waiting for her to say something else.

"You can go."

"Right. Go." Arthur nodded for Merlin to go ahead of him as if it were his fault they were still standing awkwardly in the room.

After they left, Morgana was reminded of another person who was left out of the secret.

"I just wanted to see if you needed anything else before I left," Gwen murmured.

"No, Gwen, thank you."

Would it really hurt to let Gwen in on her secret, too?