A/N: Last one!

Chapter 19: Hindsight

Millennia sank the kids into healing comas. The Doctor checked they were all fine, before he made up a permanent room for Millennia and she retreated to relax. Jackie took a room in the TARDIS too, and soon everyone else had filtered away for the night.

'Ready to get started,' Jack said as he walked into the TARDIS console room, only to find the Doctor standing there in silence, his head dropped with his eyes closed and sunglasses off, and one hand resting on the rotor - clearly concentrating solely on the sounds and vibrations of the TARDIS. Jack fell silent, just watching him do it, until the Time Lord finally spoke:

'I've made a huge mistake, Jack.'

'What?'

'I did this to myself,' he told him, gesturing to his eyes. 'If I'd just waited for Millennia this would never have happened.'

'Yeah, hindsight's a beautiful thing, excuse the pun,' Jack said, and moved to him. 'But we can't change a damn thing now so forget it.'

'It's not just that,' he said. 'I've just made it a whole load more difficult for myself. I keep making stupid decisions. Rose usually stops me. I didn't think about what I was doing. I've managed to become paralysed, blind myself, and get Jinu and hundreds more killed.'

Jack found himself becoming mildly irritated with him. 'Yeah, but you also have living, breathing children, you saved a baby, you've got a working arm, a ton of people wanting to help, you know where a cure is, and you've saved a girl you thought you killed years ago who is really gonna help us out. Your only problem is you've given up.'

The Doctor's eyebrows lowered as he finally looked up, dropping his arm. 'What?'

'Everytime you get near you keep pulling yourself back like you're not convinced by your own instincts anymore. I've never seen you like this before and it's really not helpful and it's really not you.'

'But …'

'Look, I get it, I really do. I fully understand Tuvala's gonna be absolute hell, but we're the only ones who can stop a universal pandemic when it eventually works out how to transmit through air. Yeah, it's dangerous, but so was walking into the Dalek Crucible and everything else we've done together. And just because Rose ain't here it doesn't make doing this impossible.'

The Doctor said nothing, just staring at him. He then looked away, a little awkward.

'I think you just need to regroup,' Jack said. 'So what do you want to do? What do you need to do?'

The Doctor thought about that for a moment. 'Outside,' he concluded. 'I want to go outside for a bit.'

Without any hesitation, Jack took his arm and pulled him to the TARDIS doors.

Jack briefly released the Torchwood lockdown and he led the Doctor out of the tourist shop out into nighttime Cardiff. They didn't go far, just a few steps forward to stand by the rail, looking out over the water, gleaming and sparkling in the nightlight. It was spitting a little bit of rain, and there were some distant sounds of people enjoying a Friday night in the Welsh capital over the sound of the water.

'Can you see anything in this light?' Jack asked.

'Not a thing,' the Doctor replied, looking straight up. 'It's too dark. What does the sky look like?'

Jack looked up. 'It's pretty clear.'

'Can you see Jupiter and Venus?'

Jack scoured the sky, and saw the corresponding lights. 'Yeah. Never been to Venus. Anything interesting there?'

'Venusians, the thraskin, the wispies, a kind of shanghorn, and the klakluk,' the Doctor reeled off. 'Pretty lively, actually. There's a really good tapas bar in the Artemis Chasma.'

Jack laughed. 'Why did you wanna come outside?'

'Rose did it for me once,' the Doctor said, still staring up at the sky. 'After we were imprisoned in the Proclamation. It really helped. Oh, I cried last time, just to warn you.'

Jack laughed. 'I'm not stopping you. Might join you.'

The Doctor grinned. 'Thank you, Jack. For everything. I know I've not been very … easy recently. You're spot on.'

'Hey, don't think I don't understand,' Jack said. 'I get it. You're a bit lost without her.'

The Doctor nodded. 'I'm starting to wonder how on Earth I stayed alive for 900 years without her to tell me when I was being ridiculous. It's like I've lost the ability to think. Rose would've stopped me from doing that. She always stopped me. It's entirely my fault I'm blind.'

'To be honest, I'd say it's more mine and Martha's fault, we gave you the anticonvulsant,' Jack pointed out. 'That let it do what it wanted with you in the nightmare.'

The Doctor sighed, shrugging. 'I really wasn't going to win anyway. It was overwhelming. I couldn't defend myself at all. Even the knife was useless. Wait. There was a knife, wasn't there?'

'Yeah, I gave it to you in real life.'

'It's like I hover between the waking world and dreamworld simultaneously in a sort of limbo,' the Doctor mused.

'Your brainwaves were acting like you were awake,' Jack informed him.

'Maybe that's what happened last time too, when I thought you and Leah were Rose and a Dalek,' the Doctor reasoned. 'I wasn't hallucinating, I was actually trapped between reality and a nightmare. Not that it means anything at this point, but nice to know.'

Jack laughed and they sank into momentary silence as the Doctor continued to look up.

'You were right,' the Doctor said suddenly. 'Thanks, I needed this.'

'You're welcome.' Jack gazed at him, and an idea bloomed in his head. 'Idea. I'll be back in a minute. Don't fall into the Bristol Channel.'

'Not doing that again,' the Doctor replied with a grin.

Jack smirked, and left back into the Hub.

The Doctor, left standing on his own, felt out the railings to grip onto as he dropped his head to look in the direction of the water. The spitting rain had stopped now, and without his sight his hearing had increased tenfold. He could hear not only the cars and the wind, but also the extremely distinct sound of a group of girls on a hen night swapping a dirty joke from at least 200 metres away.

He then heard footsteps coming towards him, and they only seemed to be getting louder. He looked up when they were clearly in range, but it was still too dark for him to even make out any kind of blur. He assumed it was someone passing by, but as the footsteps approached and stopped near him, he realised the person was looking at him.

'Hello, Doctor,' a voice said. He recognised it immediately.

'Bac'ou,' the Doctor acknowledged, suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable. He couldn't see anything. He hid it. 'What do you want? I've got much bigger problems than you.'

'I want a peace treaty.'

The Doctor blinked, surprised. 'Are you serious?'

'Yes. I want to help you. Give me Soran.'

The Doctor sighed. 'His name's Theo, and for the millionth time, no. How exactly is that helping me?'

'I can protect him. Your wife won't touch him if he's with me. I'll take the other one if you want me to, as well. I'll look after them both. If by some miracle you manage to kill this thing, once it's dead I'll give back the girl. She's yours.'

'But you'll keep Theo,' the Doctor surmised.

'You can visit, I ain't gonna dispute that,' Bac'ou offered.

'What kind of offer is this?' the Doctor asked in sheer disbelief.

'It's the best offer you're gonna get,' Bac'ou said. 'I've seen exactly what this disease can do. You've got no idea. I love that kid way too much to watch him go through what he's about to. I want to save Soran's life because if you don't let me protect him, he's gonna die.'

'I think I'll take the risk,' the Doctor replied shortly. 'And if you had even a modicum of decency in you, you'd help me anyway. You've been instrumental in destroying my life but I'm willing to let that slide, because there's something which is a lot more powerful than both of us that's going to slaughter the entire universe. Work with me.'

'Give me Soran and that'll happen, guaranteed,' Bac'ou said.

'You just don't get it, do you?' the Doctor moaned. 'I can't believe this. He's my son. What kind of right do you think you have to him?'

'Didn't I look after him?' Bac'ou challenged. 'Wasn't he in perfect health? I didn't let a scratch get on that kid.'

'No, you didn't, but his mental health was horrendous,' the Doctor countered. 'He was scared of his own shadow. I'm not giving him back to you to become that again.'

'I'll do better,' Bac'ou insisted. 'It was just cos he was so young and fragile I was being overly cautious. I'll give him a good life, I swear.'

'You genuinely think this is a possibility don't you?' the Doctor asked, bewildered. 'I'm not going to say yes, ever. He's my son, I made him, he's got my hair and my eyes and more besides and I can't understand why you think you have any claim on him just because you stole him for three months. Get lost.'

There was a peculiar sound, which the Doctor worked out to be the drawing of a gun.

'Put that down,' the Doctor ordered, just a little bit too late to seem natural.

There was a lingering pause that the Doctor really didn't like, before Bac'ou spoke, 'wait ... you can't see me, can you?'

'What are you talking about?' the Doctor replied to the blackness, now seriously wondering where Jack had gone. 'Put the gun down.'

'The Lanwa's already done the first stage. That was quick. You're blind.' Bac'ou sounded extremely scared. 'Look, I'll beg you here and now. Please give me Soran and the other one. I can save them both from her. It's gonna absolutely crush you, don't let it take him too. This is only stage one …'

The unsettled the Doctor. The man who'd ridiculed him and laughed at him as he'd been dying at his hand had now found out he was blind and helpless to him, and he only sounded terrified.

No evil laughing. No declarations of superiority. Just fear.

'No,' the Doctor said firmly.

'Give him to me!' Bac'ou suddenly yelled. The Doctor heard footsteps rushing towards him, but before he could move he was grabbed by the neck and forced back against the railing, his upper half arched back over the water. The gun pressed just enough to hurt into his stomach.

'Give me Soran or I'll shoot!'

'You can't kill me, the Lanwa will kill you,' the Doctor said breathlessly.

'Give! Me! Soran!' Bac'ou screamed.

'Get off of him!' Jack said, finally arriving. To the Doctor's surprise, Bac'ou immediately let go of him.

'I'll get him one way or the other you stupid jai'kl,' Bac'ou swore. 'Just remember I gave you this chance to save him from her!'

There was the sound of him transmatting. The Doctor got his breath back, looking vaguely in Jack's direction. 'Is he gone?'

'Yeah. What the hell did he want?'

'Wanted me to trade Theo for some information, I told him no and he pulled the gun.'

'A gun?' Jack queried.

'Yeah, you know, bang blood death? One of those?' the Doctor reminded him.

'Doctor, he wasn't holding a gun.'

The Doctor frowned, confused. 'Wait. What was sticking into me, then?'

'It was his fingers.'

The Doctor's confusion spiralled. 'What? But I heard something draw.'

'Yeah, his transmat unit,' Jack answered. 'He had a holder for it. You heard him draw that. Then he pressed his fingers into your stomach.'

'So there wasn't a gun.'

'No,' Jack said.

There was a pause.

'Don't worry about it,' Jack said eventually. 'He took advantage.'

'Don't worry?' the Doctor repeated. 'I just mistook someone's fingers for a gun.'

'Nothing happened from it, forget about it.'

The Doctor fell silent as he chewed it over. He could have exposed Torchwood if Bac'ou had tried, all on the threat of some fingers. '... I'm in serious trouble, Jack,' he muttered.

He felt Jack's hand rest on his shoulder. 'Honestly, don't worry. With me.'

'What?'

Jack took his arm, and pulled him out of the night of Cardiff and back into the Hub. The Doctor heard the whoosh of the Hub door locking behind them, and Jack gave him back his stick.

'C'mon,' Jack prompted.

'Where are we going?' the Doctor asked, slipping his sunglasses back on in the sudden change of light.

'Can't take a surprise, can you? This way.'

'Jack, I'm blind, a lot of things are a surprise now,' the Doctor pointed out.

Jack laughed, and the Doctor didn't resist him as they slowly made their way back into the TARDIS. He had absolutely no idea where they were going. Eventually they passed through a door into a very quiet room.

Jack's hands rested on his shoulders again. 'Okay, sit down.'

The Doctor felt out the chair behind him, and with Jack's support he sat down into some sort of soft chair. Jack took a seat next to him, and there was the distinct sound of a cocktail shaker.

'Are you making a martini?' the Doctor asked him seriously.

'Oh, so you can't recognise the sound of a gun being pulled but you know a martini being made?' Jack asked, laughing. 'Hand out, get ready to grip.'

The Doctor obliged, and found himself suddenly holding something cold. He ran his fingers around it, and rapidly deduced from its conical shape and weight that it was a full martini glass.

'Drink up,' Jack invited.

'But …'

'I said drink up.'

The Doctor sighed, but after a few moments, found his mouth with the glass and took a sip. Half a second later, he suddenly heard Jack's voice not from his right, but coming from in front of him through some speakers over the sound of The Turtles playing Happy Together on some stereo system.

'Some covert spying …'

The Doctor frowned. 'Wait … we're in the cinema.'

'Yeah.'

'Whoa Martha, you're married to Tom now!' screen Jack joked.

'This is Martha and Tom's wedding reception,' the Doctor realised. 'This is …. years ago. You've still got the videos?'

'Yeah.'

'Come on,' Rose's voice suddenly said from the speakers. The Doctor's hearts jumped a bit.

'No,' he heard his own voice reply.

'Just five minutes,' Rose begged.

'Five minutes too long.'

'Tell me what's happening,' Jack said.

'I can't remember,' the Doctor replied.

'C'mon,' Jack persisted.

The Doctor pulled a face and closed his eyes, trying to recall it with the help of the sounds he could hear. 'She's trying to get me to dance. I'm in the chair and she's pulling on my arm.'

'You're so borin',' Rose complained.

'I am not!' his screen-self insisted.

'Yeah, you are.'

'Because I don't want to dance?'

'Yeah! C'mon, this is our song,' Rose persisted.

'How is this our song?'

'The Kronids.'

'Technically not, as this song was playing when the Kronids were …'

'Oh, shut up,' she chastised. 'I thought you were more fun than this.'

'Fine!' his screen-self declared.

'I just got up,' the Doctor said, his eyes still closed.

'What does Rose look like?' Jack prompted.

'She's smiling in that tongue-in-her-teeth way she does.'

'What's she doing with you?'

'She's got hold of my hand, pulling me to the middle of the dancefloor. I'm as stiff as a board but she's put her arms around me.'

'Come on, move,' Rose demanded.

'I'm not a dog,' the Doctor insisted, and she laughed.

'She's linked her fingers in mine and she's holding them up.'

'And what are you doing?'

'Looking at her like she's mad.'

Jack laughed.

'You sleep like one,' Rose said.

'What?'

'It's cute. You know like how dogs run in their sleep? That's what you do.'

'Says the snorer.'

'I so don't!' Rose said.

'It's fine; your nose twitches too like a bunny rabbit so it's quite cute.'

'You're so mean,' she complained, but she was laughing.

'What?' he protested. 'I said you're cute.'

'She's given up, she's hugging me now.'

'You're impossible. And you're still not dancin'.'

'I'm not much of a dancer in this body.'

'You've never tried.'

'Don't you remember your birthday?'

'That doesn't count.'

'I over-spun, fell over and nearly broke the table.'

'That was on the Wii and you had an ear infection so you could barely stand up anyway. It doesn't count.'

'I'm not dancing.'

'Fine.'

'She's kissing me, now.'

There was a very long pause as the music continued, with him and Rose saying absolutely nothing.

'Wait … she's still kissing me?' the Doctor asked, raising his eyebrow.

'Yeah, it's pretty hot,' Jack assured him.

'I don't remember it going on this long.'

'I love you,' his screen self suddenly said, entirely sincerely.

'I love you too. And I will get my dance.'

'Not likely.'

'Oh, we've just noticed you filming us,' the Doctor realised.

'How long have you been filmin' us?' Rose demanded of Jack.

'Good few minutes!' Jack replied happily.

It went silent as the film ended.

'Twenty-two years,' the Doctor realised.

'What?'

'For me, that was twenty-two years ago. About eight for her. Life before Leah. Can't even remember what that was like.'

Jack laughed. 'I've always wondered, why didn't you wanna dance?'

He shrugged. 'That wasn't who I used to be. I did in the end, though.'

'When?'

'That song … I picked it for our first dance at the wedding. She didn't even notice.'

Jack laughed again. 'You ready for another one?' he asked.

'You've got more?'

'Tons,' Jack confirmed.

'Play them.'

When the videos and the martinis had run dry, they bashed out a plan together. By the time they were done, everyone was waking up.

Jackie was on the Doctor immediately, snatching him away from the protection of Jack and taking control of getting him ready for the day. Although it was a less than ideal situation to have his mother-in-law run him through the most basic things, he was grateful for the assistance she gave in getting him some food and cleaning up the mess afterwards, enabling him to shave without accidentally cutting himself, and managing to help him get washed with his dignity relatively intact. Eventually he found himself sitting on his bed in his boxers with her piling up some clothes for him.

'Right, I've laid the clothes out in order, you've got your underwear first, socks, then trousers, shirt, tie, and jacket,' Jackie told him, 'so just go from the top to the bottom of the pile. If you need any 'elp I'll be right outside the door, okay, sweetheart?'

'I'll manage,' the Doctor told her. 'Thank you.'

The door closed, and he was suddenly left alone. He knew that eventually he'd learn to be a bit more independent, but for his first full day of being blind, he just wanted to get through it without any problems.

He felt out the pile of clothes on his right, and gripped the first item - his boxers. Slowly and methodically, he began to get dressed.

'Not bad,' Jackie said as he emerged from his room fully dressed. 'Hold on …'

He let her pull and push his clothes around until she was happy with them, straightening up his tie and pulling his shirt free from creases. A final adjustment of his hair finally cued the finale of his morning routine, which had taken precisely two hours and thirty-two minutes to complete. It was nearly lunchtime.

'Right, we're done,' she announced. 'Don't worry, we'll get faster at this. You feelin' better than yesterday at least?'

He pulled a face, unsure. He did a little, but he couldn't shift a very sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. 'It's just all very … new.'

'I know,' she said gently. 'But you're gonna save Rose and it's gonna be fine. I know I don't say this often but I think you need to 'ear it right now - I know you're gonna sort this one way or the other and I really don't doubt that. You just let me take care of you while you do all your clever alien space things and we'll make 'er proud of us, right sweetheart?'

He nodded, smiling at that. 'Yeah.'

'Good. Right, now where do you wanna be?'

'Need to get everyone together, and outline what we're going to do next,' the Doctor said, putting on his sunglasses and accepting his stick from Jackie. 'They're probably in Torchwood.'

'D'you wanna try and lead?'

'Not yet,' he admitted. 'Just … get me through today.'

'Of course I will,' she said. 'Anythin' you need, you let me know, okay? Now let's get to Torchwood.'

I'd already be so proud of you, his subconscious told him in Rose's voice, and in an action he was beginning to get used to, Jackie gently took his arm and together they made their way back out into Torchwood to begin the fight back.

To be continued ...

A/N: Done! Definitely more to come, although this time I want to get a bit ahead of myself before I start posting so it might be a little bit until the next one's up. The title of the next one as it stands is 'The Things in the Dark'. There's also a couple of other projects I'm working on as well.

As always, thank you for giving me a little of your day to read this! I'm always continually astounded how much people invest into this series and I'm particularly humbled by those awesomesauce people who take the time to let me know.

Stay safe in this new weird world in which we live!

Laura