A/N: My normal beta and friend is still on vacation. So in the meantime, my sister who dragged me into this fandom kicking and screaming, betaed this one! Thank asurasantosha for this one making a bit of an early appearance.

Trigger warnings: Major character death, nothing but angst and tears! And hopefully healing through wonderful people supporting one another.

…

Chapter 1: Last Wishes

A soft thud echoed through the too large empty bedroom, as the black boots of Chat Noir landed on the floor just as they had countless times before and after defeating Papillion's latest akuma. Paris's hero didn't move for several moments. He just stood there staring blankly at the indifferent room he lived in.

Because this time was different.

This time, they had lost. He had lost... everything.

He glared down at the black ring as it flashed back to silver, dropping his protective armor.

For once, Plagg was silent. He had simply curled up in the crook of Adrien's neck and purred.

Adrien wished the kwami would make his usual demand for camembert or mock his chosen for his awful attempts at flirting, if only so he'd have reason to scream at the small creature.

Not that any of this was Plagg's fault.

No, the blame laid neatly on his own shoulders. He collapsed to the floor under the weight of his own guilt. He pulled his knees into his chest, and sobbed silently, only his quaking form betraying his grief because even now, he knew he couldn't be discovered. His behavior and devastation could not be explained to Nathalie or to his father, and so he had to cry in secret.

The thought made him want to scream.

Ladybug deserved better. Her loss deserved acknowledgement.

But he would honor her wishes. She wouldn't want her death to compromise his ability to protect their city. It's why she had always insisted their identities remain secret, to protect their loved ones. But also, to protect themselves so those they loved couldn't be used against them.

But in this moment, he could let himself fall to pieces. He knew what he had to do now - Ladybug had left him directions because they both had known that this was a possibility.

He slammed his fists into the floor, relishing in the physical lancing pain the action brought.

Why did it have to be her? It was supposed to be him. He was her shield! How could he have failed? If he had just gotten there thirty seconds earlier, maybe he could have made a difference.

Yes, he knew what he was supposed to do next, but he didn't want to. He wasn't sure he could face what she had left him.

If he opened that box, he was going to know who she was. How could fate be so cruel? How many times had he begged, wished, and prayed to know. Today, he would take it all back. Today, he was willing to give up ever knowing, if it meant she would come back to him - if she would keep fighting by his side.

But he had to open that box. It was what she had wanted. She wanted her family and friends to know what had happened to her. She didn't want them to spend the rest of their lives wondering.

He wiped his tears, and forced himself back to his feet. The journey into his oversized walk in closet had never felt further. He hesitated again in the doorway.

He forced himself to take another step in the cavernous space, ignoring the rows of shoes and racks of starched well pressed designer clothes. All his attention focused on the bookcase filled with anime and video games. He had placed the small shelf in the corner of the closet for the specific purpose of hiding this treasure. This awful treasure that he had never hoped to have reason to open.

He pushed aside the bookshelf, and moved a poster of Jagged Stone that covered the wall behind the shelf to reveal the rectangular shaped hole Plagg had helped him carve into the lower wall just over a year prior when Ladybug had made her tearful request after too close a call. He pulled out a dusty wooden box finished in cherry walnut red that had been sealed along the opening with layers of white glue.

"Adrien," the kwami whispered, hovering above his shoulder. "It's okay to wait a day."

The part-time superhero shook his head, wiping more tears he hadn't noticed falling from his face with the back of his hand. He didn't want to wait. He needed to do something.

Otherwise he was going to destroy something.

He brought the small box to his room and used a pair of scissors to break through the seal and took off the lid. The interior held a small pile of vellum envelopes laying beautifully on a red velvet lining. He fanned them out to reveal four letters, took a deep breath and flipped them over to reveal the addressees.

"No no no no no," he whispered in horror, his throat locked as the grief hit him all over again.

Chat Noir

Tom Dupain & Sabine Cheng

Ayla Cesaire

Adrien Agreste

Those painfully familiar names added up to only one person. One amazingly kind, warm, brave, and selfless person.

His lady was his princess.

He had lost them both.

"I'm so sorry kid," Plagg whispered.

He couldn't hold back the wracking howling sobs this time. He didn't even try.

…

A/N: I've actually written ahead for once in my life. This fic is 90% done on my hardrive. But I couldn't figure out my last chapter. After lots of talking this out with my husband, and then my sister, and then my husband again, I think I figured it out last night! They are my muses. With everything wrapping up, I'm going to post the second chapter now, and then try updating on a schedule of once a week or so! Never done that before! Wish me luck!

To my Sailor Moon fans if you're reading this: Chocolate Milkshakes should get another update as soon as TinaCentury gets back to help me make it better! And I'm trying to work on Coming of Age this week.

Thanks for reading. Reviews are love!