EpicMealTime

"So what are we watching today?" Izuku asked.

"EpicMealTime." Ranger began the explanation, "It's a cooking show Midoriya, Bakugo, Kirishima, Kaminari and Todoroki started after Midoriya left his job as a high school teacher."

"What kind of cooking show exactly?" Kaminari asked.

"They get drunk and use lots of bacon, let's watch." Rager answered while starting the screen.

Meet Cereal

The scene opened to show a heavily muscled Bakugo wearing sunglasses staring out the window while holding a machete over his shoulder in the darkness, till Izuku walked in in a bathrobe and shorts and greeted the blonde while turning on the lights.

"Morning Muscles. Want some breakfast?" Izuku asked while opening a cabinet to reveal multiple cereals, which he read out.

"We got ah...Frosted Mini Steaks, some Sausage O's, and my favorite Meaty Puffs." Izuku read to the stoic blonde.

"Candy Bacon Crunch." Bakugo whispered to Izuku.

"Guess he's feeling nostalgic." Izuku said to the camera, "Lucky for him were gonna eat them all."

"So they are going to eat weird, homemade cereals?" Momo asked in shock, "How is this any different than usual?"

"Just wait." Ranger replied.

The scene changed to a slab of raw bacon being slapped onto a pan with a pig's squeal added while Izuku was giving an explanation on what they were doing.

"Hitler never ate meat for breakfast and since we want to be not Hitler, we starten in every breakfast with meat! Bacon! The breakfast ingredient of champions!" Izuku explained before Kaminari and Kirishima took over.

"KARATE CHAMPIONS!" The two yelled before doing karate moves (badly).

"You're already on your way to eating like you're on top of the food chain!" Izuku said, while holding up a pack of bacon, "Bacon! It's perfect! Let's make it more perfect! Candied Bacon!"

Izuku than proceed to hand Kirishima a bag of brown sugar, which he proceeded to repeatedly stab in a bowl with a look of pure extacy on his face.

"Take your time with this part! It's meant to be magical!" Izuku said while rubbing the brown sugar onto the bacon in a very sensual manner before putting it in an oven which had been poorly edited to shoot out strips of bacon before showing the finished product.

"Is it just me or does anyone else think he's making that look pornographic?" Mineta asked, causing the audience to groan in annoyance.

"He is making it look that way on purpose." Ranger answered.

"Why?" Kyoka asked, shocked.

"Cause it's funny." Ranger replied.

"Basket weaving, that's a cool activity if you're a sixty year old slut!" Izuku said while weaving bacon into a basket pattern before getting cut off by Kaminari.

"Each bacon wave adds an inch to your bicep!" Kaminari said while the camera focused on a flexing Bakugo before showing the cooked bacon waffle.

"Syrups for kids, Jack is for manly kids!" Kirishima said while holding both a bottle of syrup and a bottle of Jack Daniels before taking a pull of Jack, followed by mixing the syrup and whiskey in a pan.

"Not gonna lie, but that totally sounds like something you'd say." Mina said to the red-head.

"Didn't think I'd be that much of an alcoholic." Kirishima replied.

"Meaty Puffs, it makes you smarter!" Izuku said while holding some unopened ground beef.

"Eat Meaty Puffs for breakfast and increase your memory by 7000%! Can you imagine, 7000 more memories?" Todoroki said before a thought bubble showing a beagle wearing sunglasses appeared next to his head.

"Meat Puffs! The cereal for men and people who want to be men!" Izuku said while Kaminari was rolling small balls of meat while laughing dementedly before cooking them.

"They are really getting into it." Ochaco commented on the weirdness of it all.

"They tend to do that." Ranger pointed out, "They at one point sold products like cook wear, books, seasonings and bacon flavored sex lube."

"Did you say...Bacon flavored sex lube?" Mineta asked while questioning everything in his mind.

"Yes!" Ranger replied.

The scene shifted to Kirishima explaining Chicken Pops, "It's like Lucky Charms, except chicken flesh!"

"Eat sausage O's and double your chances!" Izuku explained.

"Available for a limited time! All the time!" Todoroki said to the camera

"Send us a picture of you eating Sausage O's!" Izuku explained to the camera

"And we'll send you a locket of your own hair!" Todoroki explained while pulling out a container with what looked like discarded pubic hair inside.

"THE FUCK!" Everyone shouted at once

"Frosted Mini Steaks! These are gonna take you on a all inclusive three night four day vacation to sex!" Izuku explained while throwing chunks of steak into a pan.

"There made from 100% real talk!" Todoroki explained before the phrase 100% Real Talk flashed on the screen while the two were standing back to back and wearing shades and chains.

"One thing I learned growing up is that milk is for babies! And synchro swimming teams!" Izuku explained while beginning to make bacon and whiskey gravy.

"And soccer referees!" Kaminari added from the background.

"You don't want to be a soccer ref do you? You wanna be a big dick swinging hitting you in the ankles, youtube superstar best friends with Lavar Burton!" Todorki explained while a checklist checked off all the things he said.

"Fear of spiders? Understandable! I used to have night terrors while I was awake! And now my dick is bigger because I put gravy on my cereal!" Kaminari explained before switching back to Todoroki.

"You'll unlock almost extreme and radical diving board moves!" Todoroki explained while another check was added to the list.

"So all the cows in the world can suck our dicks!" Izuku said before showing the gravy get put in an EpicMealTime branded bottle.

"Oh, is that a million dollar touchdown lion orgasm? Nope, it's meat cereal! Here we go!" Izuku said before the scene showed each member eating the various cereals along with the bacon waffle, now drenched in Jack syrup, with Bakugo being the most impatient and messiest eater while a counter at the corner of the screen showed the food made had 549 grams of fat and 34,553 calories.

"Next time we eat in between the lines!" Izuku said, ending the scene.

"I loved Todoroki in this one." Toru said while laughing at his jokes at the end.

"Is no one gonna talk about Midoriya having that supper manly beard?" Kirishima asked.

"Or Bakugo being ridiculously swole?" Kaminari pointed out.

"I guess not." Ranger said.

"Are there any worlds you won't show us?" Nejire asked in curiosity.

"A few." Ranger began explaining, "I won't show HunniePop or Summertime Saga because those are about Midoriya making his way across UA and the surrounding city and fucking all the girls he can. I also won't show things that are too gory or sexual like Cupcakes, Saw, Shimoneta or Serbian Film, the latter being both. And also nothing that's too depressing or heavy, like Grave of the Fireflies or Clanded."

"Seems fair." Izuku replied, "What's next?"

"Next is...The Deku With The Mouth." Ranger answered.

Authors Note: EpicMealTime is done. Next Chapter is one of my stories. The Deku With The Mouth, my Deadpool AU featuring an aged up Eri and more dick jokes than you can shake a bag of dicks to. It's also my way of not having to do Deadpool 2 cause it is hard to find the script for that one and there are multiple versions of the film. All things mentioned above are things I will not do or take requests for.

As Always

Later