What We Must Endure

by Tokai Central

Chapter 1: Denial

As if someone had flipped a switch, the chaos raging in Misato Katsuragi's mind finally stopped. She turned to the clock on the hospital room wall. Had it only been two hours since she ripped her suit inside Jet Alone? One hour and fifty minutes since a decontamination team stripped her naked and scrubbed her head to toe? One-and-a-half hours since a NERV medical helicopter took her back to headquarters? One hour since a scan? Thirty minutes since having her blood drawn? Only seconds since Ritsuko gave her an injection?

"You feel better?" Ritsuko dropped the syringe in a medical waste disposal bin.

"A little," Misato replied, resting her head back on the pillow. The ceiling tiles appeared to shimmer like a damp sheet drying on the line.

"The Ativan will help you relax." Ritsuko sat back down and gave Misato's hand a comforting squeeze. "If you want any more, tell me."

Misato turned to her friend. "How bad?"

"We'll know in a little bit." Ritsuko was telling the truth, at least technically. The Magi were reviewing Misato's test results. However, the readings her suit's internal sensors gave – six Sieverts delivered over just four minutes– left little hope in the scientist's mind.

Ritsuko reached into her purse for a mint. She handed it to Misato.

"Here. They told me you threw up in the suit."

Misato nodded and chewed it slowly. "It was all happening so fast. I must have forgotten that I…"

The phone in Ritsuko's coat pocket vibrated. The results were ready. Misato watching on, Ritsuko read the report. When she was done, she silently slipped the phone back into her pocket.

"Well?"

Ritsuko took a deep breath. "Misato, do you remember when we were in college, and you told me about what you went through in Antarctica?"

Whether drugs or stress, nothing came to mind. Misato shook her head. "Not really."

"When your father put you in that life pod, it was pitch black. The pod shook like a paint can in a mixer. You said you were afraid that you'd die alone in all that darkness."

Misato nodded, her free hand subconsciously touching her scar. "Yeah. That's what happened. But what's that…" Misato stopped when she saw it…a tear rolling down her best friend's left cheek.

"It won't be dark, and you won't be alone. I promise."

Misato asked for another dose of Ativan. Ritsuko gladly gave it to her.