Edited 07/28/2019.

I like SI-OC stories. I like Naruto. Here's a fem!semi-SI-OC story for Naruto (because Naomi isn't the complete insertion of me into Naruto). Don't worry, for once have an idea of where I'm going with this, so as long as I don't lose motivation and life doesn't hate me too much you can expect somewhat regular updates. It's a bad story though. I don't expect you to like it.

IMPORTANT/PLEASE DON'T SKIP THIS: I don't remember all too much about Naruto's plot or world building (my main references are Narutopedia, other Naruto fanfics, and other fans of Naruto), so please correct my mistakes in terms of timeline, world building, and whatnot. Additionally, I have NO experience with most of what I'm writing, so. Internet was my best friend here. Made a bunch of estimates with the exact numbers and places and stuff too since we were never given full details.

TL;DR: If you can correct me on anything, feel free to do so. Guesswork was done for most of what's here.

Chapter 1: Identity Theft

October 10. Naomi is 25 and a half, and she dies.

October 10. Hitori is born to a dying mother she never gets to know. Someone - probably a shinobi - brings her to the orphanage.

It is October 10, and I hate it.

Меня зовут…

Russian to English:

My name is…

My life leading up to my death was not one people ever wished to live. Regardless, it was my life, and I had always planned to make the most of it. Those plans were ruined when I found myself on my deathbed in a white room white bed white floor white sheets white walls white white white.

I hated every second I spent there. It was horrible, the stench of sickness and cleaning agents ever so present. I could hear cars honking, people bustling about outside from the opened window in my room. The city was always loud. It's the city that never sleeps.

Like the city, I haven't slept for a while. Maybe it's been a day, or maybe two, or longer. I hadn't eaten either, too tired to while I was chained to the bed, unable to move, unable to leave.

How peculiar. I feel sleepy now. Energy is being conserved by my body, but there's not enough left to carry out essential life processes. I ask myself if I'll finally die, right here and now, knowing the answer before I even ask the question. My mouth is dry. If I could feel it, I bet my skin would be cool to the touch. It's getting harder to breathe.

I don't think my heart is beating anymore. Blood isn't circulating in my body. In approximately six minutes, on October 10, my brain cells will all die due to brain hypoxia, and I will be biologically dead.

Those six minutes may have been the most peaceful six minutes of my adult life.

In six minutes, Naomi Brennan is dead.

In six minutes (or perhaps longer, shorter, I will never know), whatever peace I have is interrupted by deafening cries and screams and blurry colors and falling falling red red red BLOOD-

October 10. I am born. (Reborn?)

What rotten luck I have.

If the caregivers at the orphanage were asked about Hitori, they would say she's a quiet orphan born on the same day as the Nine Tails Attack, left mysteriously in the orphanage's newborns room. She doesn't smile or laugh, and doesn't cry unless she's hungry or needs a change in diapers. She always stares, wide eyed, at anything that moves, anything that doesn't move, and sleeps a lot more than the average baby. Babbles, but only a long string of incoherent sounds. Moves a lot. Appears extremely sensitive, more so than others, to foreign movements, however she isn't against being held. Shows no attachment to anyone or anything.

Hitori is an anomaly, though the staff laughs it off as "Well, at least she'll make an excellent shinobi" and move on. Besides, ever since the Nine Tails Attack, there have been too many orphans around to care about one particular child. They're all just happy to see she isn't constantly crying, really.

What the fuck.

My head is pounding, pain from memories that don't belong, shouldn't belong, stress building up in this little body's head ready to explode and beautiful, horrible pain-

In the span of what is guaranteed to be a handful of months, I have come to the realization that I am a baby. A baby.

There's no way a coma or a hallucination could ever be this realistic. Technology, even at NASA, hasn't advanced far enough to fuck with perception of reality to this degree. I doubt China has technology better than NASA, and combined with the fact that China would have no reason to try to screw with my head it can't be that either. Overdosing drugs doesn't have this level of clarity, and I speak from personal experience. So everything here must be real.

It's hard to wrap my head around, this whole… reincarnation thing. It has to be reincarnation, Naomi was far too vivid. My life here is far too vivid. Something about the thought makes me giddy, but why I've yet to understand.

It may be because I like abstract topics which will require more than just critical thinking. That's why I like physics. I like not following rules that seem to be "absolute", and trying to find where the absolute may lie in. I like defying logic, despite my thought process always trying (and typically failing) to form itself into an organized and linear, logical manner.

I may be the only one, but at least I can confirm to myself that consciousness is not tied down to the brain. There is potential of life beyond the death of your body. I am living - rather, existing - proof that people are NOT represented by their body, rather by their minds. The mind and body are completely separate things with an extremely unique connection to each other.

Man, if philosophy could get its hands on this. The whole thing with plants being able to feel pain was already a huge shock, but disassociation from your body…

Makes you wonder if you could use that connection like a switch, where you turn off the body's connection to the mind and turn it back on later. Not like sleep or paralysis, rather like utilizing the body as an actual tool and extension of the mind instead of an equal to the mind; instead of the body as me. Of course, shutting off my brain and therefore my body completely is lethal, I know that.

More like, um. I guess… complete manipulation of the body and all it's processes. For instance, being able to temporarily remove a sense of pain. If you're born with it it's permanent and the medical part of the science community calls it congenital insensitivity to pain.

If I could remove this sense of pain, I would basically never be stressed, tired, or feel hurt. Depending on how it's used, it'll either be an amazing breakthrough or just a dangerously cool trick which could jeopardize my life.

…My general personality and attitude towards abstraction is probably why I'm not reacting too badly to the reincarnation part. The baby part, on the other hand…

This situation is repulsive. I loathe, with every fiber of my being, the feeling of helplessness and incapability. I'm used to handling all my problems and dealing with life on my own. The only things I as a baby can do alone is breathe, swallow food, take a dump, and sleep. I can't see properly, I can't hear properly, I can't use any of my five primary senses to the same degree that a normal person can, and it absolutely sucks.

And other than the breathing part, I need help to do those other things too. Someone has to feed me, and thank whatever god is out there if one exists that I'm not being breastfed (or at least don't recall being breastfed) because that'd be super awkward. The mere idea of someone changing my diapers and clothes for me is so revolting. Sleeping, I'm fine with. I sleep a lot. Kinda expected.

Sometimes, when I see blurry figures moving, I hear noises. The blurs are people, the noises being their voices. They keep getting jumbled up in my head, yet they always call me Hitori. My name is not Hitori. I am Naomi Brennan. I am not Hitori.

Yet I am here, so Naomi Brennan must be dead, and I must be Hitori.

...Who am I really?

I'm me. Just me. Nobody else but me.

I am-

Pain erupts in my skull. It hurts it hurts it hurts-

I think someone touches me, holds me, soothes me, and some of the pain is gone, just a little.

I've noticed that every time I try to think about anything for an extended period of time, I get a killer headache. Makes sense, a baby's brain is after all not meant to store the memories of 25 years of life plus it's own experiences. Heck, a baby's brain isn't even supposed to remember what it's own experiences are until around… I dunno, over a year old. I didn't study much about cognitive development of children in my high school AP psychology classes considering how little was known about it in comparison to other bits like manipulation and happiness. I don't even know if I'm considered normal in terms of mental/emotional and social health for a baby, which, yeah, most probably not.

For now, I guess I'll just keep trying to talk. Maybe move, too, the main issue I have being how I don't know if enough of my bones have been merged together yet so that I have enough strength to sit up straight, and I don't want to risk any accidents.

I do not have a mother. I also do not have a father. I have no parents.

Correction: Hitori has no parents. Naomi certainly had a mother and father, both who she had cared very deeply for, thank you very much. Even if they were pretty bad at being parents. They still tried at least.

I first noticed this when my eyesight became a bit sharper. The faces I see are always differing. There is more than one female and one male adult around me.

This differentiation between Naomi and Hitori is a little concerning. A little. Overall, I'm not too bothered by it. This place which is caring for my well being is doing an excellent job, I think, so it doesn't matter to me. I'm not going hungry, I'm not abused, and all my clothes are, as far as I can tell, clean. Also, I have toys. Seemed slightly used. They'll have to do for me to development grip and whatever other motor skills I'll need.

I can sit. Though I need aid to do so, I am able to sit upright. This is a huge milestone for me.

In other news, I can't really understand what in the world people are saying to me, and it could be an entirely different language than the ones I know. Which makes things a bit more difficult. I'll deal with it, I have to.

Also, I'm eating solid food. No longer eating that gross puree stuff anymore. Granted, all I'm eating is mashed so that I don't choke and die. It's the thought that counts.

I can taste food!

I can taste food!

I don't know when exactly I was able to do this, but I can do it. Thank you, Hitori's body.

Even if the food tastes like diluted mush, it's still taste. Food, and the taste associated with it, is a blessing.

Other notes, um. I said "Hi" the other day, and a bunch of people got excited. Said a lot of things to me and tried to get me to say "Hi" as a reply. My first word, I guess. I know for a fact that they're not speaking anything remotely English around here (my hearing is good enough to hear things somewhat properly, can you imagine), so hopefully my first word doesn't translate to "Go die" instead of a casual greeting or something like that.

I can walk now. I just completely disregarded the crawling stage. Getting on my knees to move around? Ew. Gross. Who knows what's been on the floor. So yes, I learned to walk when I was put on the floor. Can only walk for a little time or distance. Still walking all the same.

My eyesight isn't fully developed yet, either that or I'll need glasses. Hopefully the former. However, my eyesight is good enough that I can see a general reflection in the mirror.

The difference from Naomi to Hitori is unsettling. My skin took on a more East-Asian tone, hair a dark shade of brown and similarly colored eyes. I look a year old.

Naomi had near-white ice blonde hair and stormy grey eyes with pale olive skin. She was 25 and a half when I left her body.

I immediately decide I don't like this change. I looked too… Asian. I'm not Asian. It's unsettling to see.

Another wave of headache hits, and I push it down. They're getting less frequent and painful as time goes by, and eventually, hopefully, they'll just disappear.

Hitori is a total of one-and-a-half years old when she is finally, FINALLY able to see things clearly, hear things clearly, run with a short sprint, comprehend "normal" sensations against skin, and understand the language spoken. She can speak when spoken to, holding a surprisingly good conversation for someone her age (excluding flaws in grammar, of course). Hitori thinks the language sounds a lot like Japanese.

What else is important? She's out of diapers, so thus out of the baby stage. Moved out of the babies and toddlers area and with the two year olds now. She can write sloppy child-handwriting English (not that anyone else can read it or cares to try) and draw vaguely clear pictures.

She doesn't quite understand yet, but this rapid development will stir up something else: Attention. In the form of interest.

Not quite yet, but later down the road, it'll come to bite at her.

I am approximately one and a half years old when I step outside the orphanage and see the Mount Rushmore of this world.

My first reaction was Whoa, that's a nice work of art, followed by Wait a second, isn't that a bit too strange? to THAT'S ACTUALLY REAL? WHAT THE FUCK?

It really doesn't help that as I gawk at the (very) fine sculpture, I see before my very eyes a man in a noticeably dark green vest who jumps from rooftop to rooftop. And he has the audacity to do so with a level of dignity and grace!

"Oh, those are the faces of all our Hokage," Yukki says. She's the lady currently watching over all the kids playing in the outside courtyard, and must have noticed my staring.

My brain short circuits.

What.

It seems that I now reside in the same realm as the characters of Naruto do.

I don't even try convincing myself otherwise. It's futile. I saw those carved faces and that man jumping from rooftop to rooftop. It's no coincidence.

So the multiverse is a thing. Nice.

This is great. Not. Sound like the start of an incredibly bad fanfiction, if you ask me.

Okay. Okay. This will work itself out. For now, let's weigh the pros and cons of being here.

Pros. I can be a ninja - er, shinobi, same thing. Defying gravity and breaking all other laws of the branches of science I know. I know the language spoken is basically Japanese.

Cons. I defy the laws of science and mind-fuck myself. Will be expected to commit murder and potentially torture, seduction, etc. Propaganda will be forced down my throat.

Well then, this is going to be great. Fuck it all, I'm going to be a ninja, who cares about my mental stability? Naomi was in the Armed Forces, dammit, if Naomi didn't even help kill anyone then Hitori might as well start now!

...ok, Naomi was a pilot, so I wouldn't have been able to pick up a gun and shoot even if I wanted to. Also the whole "there was never a war to fight in" thing. Not the point.

I'm going to be a ninja, that's what matters!

I'm not going to be a ninja.

I tried the whole chakra control exercise today outside in the forest (wandering off is apparently fine as long as you return, which is convenient for me and worrying for other children that aren't me, unless it's not fine in which case nobody really cares as long as you return safe).

I messed up. I really messed up. Big time.

So, leaves. I don't remember much about the exercise other than you put a leaf on your body somewhere and make it do something. I don't quite recall where or what so I just left one on my left hand's palm and held it upside-down against my palm pressed gently with my right pointer finger, pouring some of what I hope is chakra to see it if would spin or something.

It instead decided to explode.

Explosions occur when there's a lot of energy released in a small volume of space in a short amount of time. The energy was, presumably, chakra. The space occupied was the leaf. The time was under a second.

I've nearly managed to turn a leaf into a bomb. This is… not… good? Not expected?

I hope nobody questions the light burns on my left hand now. Or that anyone saw that. That would be a pain to explain.

I know how to get chakra out, at least…? Unfavorably, yeah. Just gotta work out a few dozen things…

Guess for now I'll meditate or something to increase my… I think it's yin energy. Spiritual energy. Whatever. Maybe even try lucid dreaming later so I can train and increase my physical yang energy in my sleep. I want to see if I can do astral projection, too, in the true sense of a spiritual, out-of-body experience.

Oh well. In terms of other issues, when deemed old enough (AKA when I start learning writing in Japanese), I'll ask for a journal to write shit down in. Like plot.

...I don't remember much about the plot. Actually, having been a bigger fan of slice-of-life and comedy anime, Naruto was never anything I actually got invested in. Too much shonen action in there. Since I didn't pay much attention to the show and never bothered with the manga, at best I have a rough outline filled with lots of misplaced and inaccurate info.

Um. That might be a problem. Maybe. Just maybe.

I don't know how to get the leaf to not explode.

This is not working as I had planned.

I turned two. For my birthday, I ask for a huge (emphasis on huge) journal to draw (read: write) in, a pen (it exists! Thank you, Kishimoto!), and ink.

The request for journal can't be that unreasonable. Also, I haven't started learning kanji yet, but I did start hiragana.

Anyways, after a month and fourteen reminders later (people seriously hate October 10, I don't really get it), I get what is basically a stack of paper the size of about 6 inches tall (A/N: roughly 15 cm) (did I actually annoy them that much…?) loosely held between two slabs of cardboard in a cardboard box, a strangely shaped fountain pen, and lots of black ink. As in what is probably the equivalent of 30 200ml bottles of ink. That's like, 1.5 gallons. Whatever unit you wanna go by. Assuming each bottle can get down 5,000 words, it's a total of 150,000 words that can be written.

So, a lot of words.

There's definitely at least 1,000 sheets of paper in this box. 1,000 pages to write on, since I can't risk writing on both sides and smearing the ink like that.

I begin writing when I return to my small room holding the box of goodies. Everything I remember from Naomi, absolutely everything worth remembering, it's written. My hand always hurts when I write too much and I keep smudging the ink where it drips. As long as it's still legible, which it is, I don't particularly care. That's the only thing that matters.

Each subject I write means a switch in ciphers or codes and language. I know six, including extremely limited Common (Japanese) and native-level English. Thanks to my father having been a European translator and teaching me fluency in French and Russian, plus those two language courses I was forced to take in middle school prompting me to learn surprisingly detailed Latin and a decent amount of German, I have a lot to work with here. Codes and ciphers I learned either from my mother in my early childhood, on my own via boredom and internet, or through my time in the US Armed Forces.

The way I have it worked out:

-English gets morse code and takes most of science (bio, chem, and physics) and mathematics.

-French gets Vigenère cipher with the key being French and covers history/geography/society.

-Russian has its equivalent of ROT1 for life skills like cooking, health standards, and physical and mental (military) training.

-Latin is just Latin, since, y'know. Latin without anything to be based off of is pretty unreadable already. Latin is taking technology.

-German is covering whatever else is left, like economics and books. All the random bits that don't fit anywhere else comes to German. And German gets its equivalent of binary.

They're good combos since I don't need a machine to encrypt the codes and I've memorized how the Vigenère cipher works. Just as long as I have an understanding of how the code or cipher works and the language it's being translated from I won't need a machine for decryption, ever.

(I add a table of contents on the inside front cover anyways labeling the codes, how they work, and languages assigned per topic, in plain text English, just in case. Better safe than sorry.)

I cram it all into this stack.

After a month of being cooped up inside this shared room, the stack of paper has virtually no room left to write in, and I have exhausted as much of Earth's progress into this one stack as I possibly can. I didn't finish the German part, I'm almost done - need another 15 pages, maybe. And Naomi's memories aren't even here!

I have clearly underestimated the amount of information I can remember. Thanks a bunch, Naomi's memories.

In regards to foresight on the Naruto world… yeah, fuck that. I'm doing what I want.

Either the world will continue on its debatable deterministic route as expected from the Naruto plotline (where the world tries to maintain its natural state of dynamic equilibrium and continues to reject all changes I try to make in order to correct itself), or it'll change massively and any foreknowledge I have will be utterly useless. I know a thing or two about quantum mechanics enough to realize my very existence will likely cause a butterfly effect with either minimal or massive impact, even if I try to stay out of the reach of plot.

Besides, it could just so happens to be that the world I currently am in is nothing like the Naruto I remember watching on screen.

...It's really just an excuse for the whole "I don't remember much of the plot" part.

Plus side is that I have all my teeth and can eat normal food now.

I was decidedly old enough for a bed, so I share a bunk bed (bottom bed, sadly, but I guess me being right smack next to a window will be nice during the summer) in a room with a bunch of other girls ages 2-4. There are 15 others here, and it's a little cramped, but at least everyone has room to sleep.

The beds are rather large for kids. I assume that means we're all stuck here to grow into this small room. Teenage years will suck.

Also, I now sit at the table with the other kids for my meals instead of being shoved on a baby chair.

I feel almost claustrophobic with these tight spaces, then I remember how much worse other people in other branches of the Armed Forces had it and I feel a bit better.

My meals are great. Like plain white rice. With soy sauce. Tastes… about as great as expected. Reminds me of Naomi's days of deployment overseas, when she was in Japan and got lost and hungry. Good times. Good memories. (Except for the part where she was punished for returning late and forced to run laps around the perimeter of the base until she dropped. She dropped in 2 hours.)

If Uchiha Madara were alive today, he'd be around 78 years old. That's not old. People can live over 100 years if they're really healthy.

Well, okay, it's old in this world. Heck, 30 is old in this world. To think, just about 27 and a quarter years from now (2 and a quarter years if you wanna be like that), I'll be considered old. It's a little weird to me, but the norm around here.

I have a lot of free time on my hands, okay. Mostly I spend that time in the public library around… 2 blocks down (would blocks be an appropriate unit of measurement? I dunno, non-grid based towns/cities are weird) learning about the Naruto world after having learned basic reading and writing of kana and kanji from the bored library volunteers. (Something about contributing back to the village. Not gonna complain, at least I get a headstart on Common/Japanese.)

Though I already expected this, the scientific knowledge in this world is all over the place. Gravity is supposedly because of natural chakra, which, I mean. Chakra is defined as at best energy, so technically not wrong. Not right either.

Some of the more advanced mathematics involving physics is all sorts of screwed over due to chakra. In fact, there's probably an entire subsection of physics about chakra. It'll be interesting to read once I find it. If it exists. Please exist because I seriously don't know what I'll do otherwise with all my equations and a good chunk of half the knowledge from Naomi's career.

There is a disturbingly wide range of information about the human body and mind that I can find. Mainly to do with torture and manipulation. Why is this in the public access section? I imagine, as you reach higher levels (such as Academy, genin, chunin, and jonin) there'll be much more, ah… descriptive versions. Why. Why can't you focus on happiness. Good things in life exist too.

Foreign languages don't seem to exist, which doesn't make any sense, at all. Sure, there are dialects and codes (not ciphers, which um, okay), just not different languages. Did everyone just… originate from one spot, all able to understand each other with the same noises, and just kept it like that?

No way. Doesn't make any sense. I'll have to come up with a theory for how language was developed, then. Later.

Geography is confusing. Reminds me of Pangea, almost. Except that the parts representing the Americas, Australia, and Antarctica aren't a thing, so things like vanilla and chocolate and the South Pole and whatnot are given bastardized versions or just aren't there. That happened. So it's more like Afro-Eurasia, in that sense.

At least history, politics, and anything and everything related to chakra and shinobi seem interesting. Yeah, yeah, I know, everything in those topics is extremely limited to children, especially public access, and in the case of history tips over into Konoha's favor. Not to say it's not interesting, because it still is.

Learning about chakra is especially rough. For one, there's not much in the public access section about it other than being extremely important and whatever other basic stuff civilians are allowed to look at.

Chakra is, in the best explanation all the texts I read and that I can provide, pretty much energy. Energy that can manifest itself and be controlled by people to do things that defy nature. So not really energy. I guess you can call it manipulative energy. Or categorize it as something different with many similarities to energy, since chakra is fundamentally different from energy.

Definitions aren't really clear. I'm struggling to properly understand this. I like to think of it as trying to understand infinity; it's just not possible. You can try, just… fail.

In that case, the following scenario is very interesting. Using fire as our example for chakra being kinda like energy. Fire has 3 main components; oxygen, heat, and a fuel source. I assume using chakra to create a fire takes oxygen naturally present in the air, heat generated from fire nature chakra in the form of thermal heat or something else, and fuel (from where, probably chakra, nevertheless I'll look into it just in case) to create the fire.

That doesn't explain why all fires from chakra seem as though they can be put out by water. For instance, if I were to start a fire fueled by some sort of flammable metal like sodium, with naturally present oxygen and fire nature chakra generating the heat, there's no way that water should be able to get rid of it. In this specific situation, water reacts with the sodium and the heated water particles separate, then hydrogen acts as the accelerant to increase the rate of combustion helping to create an explosion.

Wait. I kinda want to test this out. Does fire nature chakra, if used to heat all different kinds of fires, always get the same results against water nature chakra of the same level regardless of the fuel used? Since, after all, with general fires from wood water will supposedly always remove the heat source.

If yes, then I guess that means water nature chakra will always, without a doubt, remove the presence of heat in fires. The fuel just doesn't matter. That'll mean I have to rethink my entire chemistry education. If no, then, uh. I guess chemistry wins, yay. The most likely answer is no, since chemistry always wins against me.

Okay, step one. Learn to use chakra. Then test out the fire thing after getting my life together somewhat smoothly. Back to the leaves it is.

I keep making the leaves explode.

I have no idea how to fix that. I've put the leaves everywhere - my palms, my elbow, my thighs, my stomach, my abdomen, my back, even my bare foot. Tried making it spin. It just explodes.

Do you understand how frustrating it is to continuously be failing without any understanding of how or why? It's extremely annoying. I have new bruises and burns on my body that I need to hide every week. Thankfully, I'm able to shower alone, so no worries about anyone seeing them.

Except for my roommates. Luckily, there's this sort of rule we all have unconsciously agreed to where if one of us gets involved in something we shouldn't have, we all collectively ignore it.

I tend to avoid all of my roommates though. The only times I see them are when it's pretty much unavoidable, like for morning roll call, mealtimes, and curfew. They avoid me, too, because I'm too weird for them or something. All the same, hope that agreement applies to me.

The leaf, sticking to my left pointer finger upside down (from body oils and sweat, I imagine) explodes again. My finger hurts.

Auuuuuugh. I'm doing it wrong, but what is it that I'm doing that's wrong?

It's not where I place the leaf, I know that at least. Upside down or not gets the same results. Could it be the spinning? Is there a certain speed I'm supposed to spin it at, or am I not supposed to even spin it at all? Is it something to do with chakra output? Am I just super bad at chakra control?

There are too many variables. I don't like it.

Hitori punches one of the trees in the forest with what I hope is as much force as she can muster.

There's a sharp pop-snap, and I pull back my right hand in horror.

My fingers are engulfed with pain.

I stare instead at the fist-sized dent in the tree.

"...Oh. Shit."

I proceed to run out of the forest.

I have either majorly fucked up or I have not.

There is no in between here. If someone noticed the strange spike in chakra and the child-sized fist imprint on that one tree in the forest and connects the leftover chakra there with the fist imprint on that tree with my chakra signature (I'm not stupid, if everything has chakra then so do my fingerprints), I'm screwed over. However, if I have managed to play it off as a child in the Academy training in the woods or the imprint has too little chakra to be connected back to me, then I'll be saved.

I sincerely hope it's the latter.

I'm scared, okay. I don't want to get in trouble for this. Being overly self conscious, in a village full of suspicious and intelligent ninjas is a good thing here. It'll help me identify and then thwart any potential qualms someone may have.

On another note, I had broken a few fingers with that "punch". Got it fixed with a med-nin using the lame excuse of "um, I fell" (and they actually believed that, thank whatever forces at work), who I gaped at while she was in the process of putting the bones back together. The glowing green light from her palm was cool.

I felt the bones reconnect themselves. Med-nin said not to put my right hand under too much pressure for a while. Well, what she doesn't know can't hurt her.

I asked to learn what she did to me and she laughed with a "maybe when you're older", instead directing me to somewhere else to learn. And apparently (surprise, surprise) they offer educational classes here in the orphanage, and I wasn't made aware of it. I was told by one of the teachers not to bother coming since I didn't have to start them until I was 5 years old, but hey, even so I'm insisting on going.

I'm not truthfully a kid. Sure, I could have fun pretending to be one and enjoy life, but I'm really not a kid and haven't been for years and I know it shows. Might as well be the not-really-a-kid kid then and start my education.

Diligent studying is the way to go. Since I want to be a ninja, I'll need good grades to get into the Academy and I'll have to practice good health. Meaning none of Naomi's bad habits are allowed to be carried on into Hitori's life.

…

…who am I even trying to lie to. Of course I'm going to eventually be pulling all nighters like it's nothing and learn to function on three hours of sleep without caffeine or sugar. The fact that I'm enthusiastic about being a future child soldier overrules any other potentially high-risk habits I already have or will develop.

You know what I learned today in one of those classes I mentioned? Time.

No, really. I learned how time works in the Naruto world, or at least this version of it. Since these classes at the orphanage are just teaching kids common sense topics, like basic mathematics.

Everyone in the class, including newly joined me, knows how to count to 100. Then the teacher dropped a huge bomb on us - fine, just me - saying that every minute is approximately 100 seconds.

Which, um. Excuse me. What.

Apparently 60 seconds per minute doesn't apply here. So how does the rest of the day work out?

In every hour, there are 50 minutes. In every day, there are 25 hours. In every week, there's still the standard 7 days. Still, people tend to use the term fortnights more, which are now 4 days and 3 nights instead of 2 weeks, because apparently that's how long most missions above genin level are.

There are alternating 31 or 30 days every two months with the last month being an outlier of 35 days for a total of 12 months, meaning a nice, consistent 371 days per year. The moon's cycle thing is every 30 days. Very nice. No leap years or that weird thing with February. I'm- ugh. This hurts my head.

The average day in this world is around 125,000 seconds long. The average day back on Earth is about 86,400 seconds. That's a huge difference of 38,600 seconds.

A day on Earth goes by faster at a rate of nearly 1.45 times. Since the full rotation around the Sun is longer here, I assume this planet is farther from the Sun. Meaning light from the Sun takes longer to travel to here and-

This is annoying. So, so annoying. And- you know what, I'd like to call it Naruto-verse logic and Naruto-verse timing and Naruto-verse version of Earth, but those names are too long and it sounds like I'm dedicating everything to Naruto, so my unit of time measurement to distinguish the differences will be… ErT for Earth time (Naomi) and NOW t(ime) (Hitori/Naruto-verse).

Actually ErT for Earth stuff and NOW for Naruto-verse stuff works nicely. I'll stick to that.

My age as Naomi was 25 and a half years ErT, but she'd be around 17.35 years old NOW t, if I did my math correctly. I now understand why it's so shocking to see that Madara Uchiha, if he were to be found alive today, would be at the age of 78 years old NOW t. He'd be making his way to 115 years old ErT, and damn that's impressive. (Unless it's not. I don't really understand how NOW compares to ErT in terms of the average person's health, lifestyle, sanitation, etc. other than the whole "it's not as great but not exactly bad".)

Again, this is assuming I did my math correctly.

In any case, I've come to the realization that this means that bodies in this world develop at a different rate than bodies from Earth (probably slower, I don't know for 100% certainty yet), so whatever others standards (like time) I know of may have to be thrown out the window. As have most of my assumptions about this world better be.

I have to start from scratch all over again, huh.

Chakra is already a huge pain to try understanding. To think something like time has changed instead of, I dunno, gender… that's just infuriating. I'd be happier as a man, too. No raging hormones and monthly cycle. Less affected by emotions and shit.

I got paper!

For my third birthday. Yesterday. It's October 11 today.

Okay, I know it's meant for practicing writing simple katakana and hiragana on. Thing is, the people at the library already taught me that and I have it memorized. It's easy stuff. I'm learning more of the simpler kanji now.

Not the point. The point is, I've got paper. Meaning I have a bunch of paper to work with/record my progress.

I didn't even have to beg. They just shoved it into my hands after an hour of constant insistence; another box of empty sheets of paper, I dunno how much (cheap paper is pretty easy to come by in a land surrounded by tall-ass trees, huh) and a lot more ink and a brand new pen. Thanks, orphanage, and people sponsoring it. I leave my barely intact "journal" in the first cardboard box and the second barely-larger box next to it with said boxes left on the wide window sill (sorry, no flowers).

Sitting on my stiff bed with my elbows on my pillow and feet on my blanket, I finish up the German binary bit I promised myself to do with the full moon's light shining on the paper.

With the rest of the paper I begin, with modern Russian, writing about Naomi's life. Her parents, her school life, her time in service as a pilot and experiences abroad, time in NASA, events leading to her eventual death, etc. Her friends, her two crushes in life (and wasn't that rather fond and cringe-worthy to be writing about). As much as I could remember, to stay connected to Naomi. There's a good 40 to 60 pages there.

When I'm done, I write about Hitori's life, in modern French. There's not much, it's just discussing the orphanage conditions, people I'm rooming with, and general non-shinobi related milestones I've set and met. I set aside another 30 sheets or so to continue writing about her life until the next birthday.

Modern German for dictating my progress with chakra and becoming a shinobi-ninja-kunoichi thing. There are only 3 sheets so far, and they're all filled with a bunch of scratches and anger. I've yet to make progress with the leaves.

I do basically all of my thinking in my mother tongue, English, so I'll make sure to occasionally write uncoded in other languages to keep my fluency in check. English is for reminders and schedules and stuff, I guess. If I can get more paper and join the Academy, I'll write in Latin about my education there and as a shinobi when I graduate.

…I'm 3 years old and wasn't Kakashi, like, 5 when he graduated as a genin? I know he's a prodigy and all, but… I need to step up my game.

Look, I just want to be super overpowered. Like Team 7 became. As in, surpassed Sanin-level OP. Surpassed Orochimaru OP. Might as well dive into everything I care about and get super good at it.

Becoming a sensor, tracker, or whatever? Sure. Please, that'd be so cool. I could tell whether or not people were following me, even if I wasn't trying to look for them. I'd never lose another game of Hide and Seek.

Med-nin? Up my game with precise chakra control, yes. Absolutely. Always being able to heal your own injuries is amazing for a shinobi on higher-ranked missions.

Info gathering/processing, scouting… Naomi did a lot of that, so in terms of Hitori I don't think I'd like to focus there.

T&I is nice in dreams and jokes and shit in reality, so I'd join if it was my thing. Same with infiltration, aside from the whole "I-suck-at-hiding-it's-not-even-funny". I mean, I can hide in clouds with aircraft, yeah, but I can't see in them either, so what's the point? Besides the whole no aircraft exists in the first place, so…

ANBU (namely ROOT) isn't really something I'd want to do. They might be messed up, but I still do have ethics. Hypocritical ethics are ethics, dammit.

Taijutsu needs work. Genjutsu needs work. Ninjutsu needs work. Everything needs work.

...Chakra control. Right. Then move on to chakra manipulation and get started on sensory. Since I'm already so behind on that, I'll need to pour more energy and time into it. I haven't begun lucid dreaming yet because I don't know whether it'll send my brain into overdrive, but I'm 3 now and I should be fine.

Start training myself in a mind space at night and general physical conditioning during the day to increase my yang energy, and meditation during breaks in the day to increase yin energy. To my understanding, more yin-yang energy means more chakra… I need more books on chakra, too.

Nevermind that. Once I get that down to a point where I can sense people without being obvious about it, I'll start subtly "tagging" people. I don't think Konoha is all too big even if it is the largest "hidden" village - currently has a population of roughly, I'd say, 50,000 including civilians, travelers, and shinobi.

Area-wise it's pretty small too. I'd say at most the average civilian could take a little under half a day to travel from the main gate to the Hokage's office all the way on the other end of Konoha without any breaks or chakra, so… average walking distance is maybe 3 mph - I'll say 3.5 mph because NOW standards applies here rather than ErT standards - multiplied by half the day, 12 hours - sorry, 12.5 because of how time works NOW - 43.75 miles in diameter, or 21.875 radius. A=(pi)r^2 for area.

That means… a generous estimate of 478.5 miles squared (A/N: about 1,240 km squared).

Distribute population evenly, and that's… I think it's a little over 100 people per mile squared, though including training grounds and all that kinda stuff it's likely more than 120, or 150 people on average per miles squared (in the populated areas).

…that's. Not a lot.

Like, really. Not a lot. I'm definitely being biased because I grew up in the city where you'd find at least 1,000 people per square mile. In any case, I'm genuinely surprised.

Means tagging people will be easier, I presume? Sensory/tracking and all. Good, I suppose.

Med-nin stuff I'll focus on once I can get my hands on a textbook to work with. And live test subjects, specifically rats or fish or plants will do fine. Chakra control will be necessary first though…

Hmm. Genjutsu… as long as I can break out of one, I'll be good. I'm not necessarily the best with covering the finer details, so I won't be able to specialize in genjutsu even if I wanted to. Depends, really. Psychological warfare is extremely effective but not my area of expertise.

Ninjutsu is just me letting loose and having fun with chakra, which I can do when I manage to work out how to not make leaves explode. It'll be fun, especially once I get into the what and why and how.

…Literally taijutsu is the only thing I can actually start with right now.

Great.

I write all that down and consider what to focus on with taijutsu. Let go of chakra control for now because I'm not going anywhere currently. Will return focus on that when I can get either a hint to start with or when my taijutsu is beyond satisfactory.

Alright. Taijutsu. Focuses on the body. Step one: Take care of the body first.

Health related fitness covers mainly 5 things. Body composition, in which case I'll want a higher ratio of lean muscle tissue to body fat and it can be maintained through physical activity. Flexibility is a huge deal, a good chunk of my training will go there to making sure I can bend my body all sorts of ways. Muscular strength and endurance is important, meaning as many push-ups and sit-ups as possible. Cardiovascular endurance… I'll just run around a lot, I guess.

Nice. Set up a schedule.

7:00 NOW t: Wake up for roll call. Get ready for breakfast, eat for around an hour NOW t.

About 8:25 NOW t: There are (non-mandatory in my case, but I'm taking them anyways) lessons for about 3 and a half hours NOW t.

12:00 NOW t: Lunch for an hour NOW t.

13:00 NOW t: Everyone just does whatever. Spend this time relaxing, reading, or training.

Around 17:00 NOW t: Return for dinner, another hour NOW t.

18:00 NOW t: Get ready for bedtime stories, about 25-50 minutes NOW t. You could ignore them and just hang out outside if you want to, though.

19:25 NOW t: Curfew, but you can stay up as long as you don't bother anyone. Spend the next half hour NOW t or so meditating unless something of more importance needs attention.

20-22:00 NOW t: Sleep maybe 10-12 hours NOW t for lucid dreaming training. This time will decrease as Hitori ages since her body will require less sleep over time. More time awake means more time for meditation.

...TIME. NARUTO TIME. NOW t. IT SUCKS.

Well, with my free time… I decided I'm taking lessons with everyone else. Meaning 4 hours for library and training.

...alright, everyday is one and a half hours NOW t in the library, and one and a half hours NOW t for training in the forest. One hour NOW t to account for transportation and potential accidents where I may end up lost or stopping by a tree to cry my eyes out over failure to make progress with the damn leaf exercise.

I can work with this.

I have about 50 sheets of empty paper left to record my progress with chakra. I can stretch that over the course of a year and ask the nice people at the library for more paper if needed.

…I should go to sleep now. It looks like the Sun will be rising in around 2 or 3 hours NOW t.

I missed breakfast due to sleeping in. They're having me do chores, and after I just set up my schedule, too…

Next week I wake up after succeeding to enter a lucid dream. I work on my physical "training" in there, practicing some of the training Naomi did, and when I got bored decided to practice my verbal skills in language. German is still a bit rusty with the y.

With my actual body, I think I'm getting more flexible. I was able to do a split in the library the other day. (It got a few weird looks. I might avoid the library for a bit… Nah. Just kidding. I need books to entertain my adult mind and stimulate the child brain.)

I returned to the forest, this time in a different direction than my fist-imprinted tree. And I retry the leaf exercise.

According to one of the Academy students I managed to coincidentally eavesdrop on in the library, you're supposed to attach it to your head and have it just… stick there.

And it's working. It's sticking to my forehead.

Either I misheard the kid, the kid was wrong, I have already good chakra control, or there's something wrong here.

The most likely scenario is that there's an abnormality in this situation. I don't know what it is, and since I'm rather limited in my knowledge over chakra, I'll just give up for now.

Taijutsu is going along smoothly. My training routine works like this (in NOW t):

Return from the library and go to the orphanage, except head towards the back where the forest is. Go inside the forest, just passing by 30 trees. Warm up with 5 minutes of stretching. Begin the workout with a walk deeper into the forest, then gradually break out into a run, then back to a walk back to the original place. Start push-ups once bpm falls back down to normal, and stretch again for 3 minutes once I can't do push-ups anymore. Afterwards, it's back to sit-ups for as many as possible, then a stretch for 3 minutes. Wrap it all up with a light jog. Take a 10 minute meditation break. Takes around an hour. Spend the next half hour slumped against a tree or being productive, then turn back and return to the orphanage.

Results are good. I'm flexible to a disturbing degree, for only 3 years old. Like I said, I can do a split easily, I'll soon be able to do a bridge… as long as I keep stretching, I'll maintain or increase my flexibility. Just don't stretch too much, in case I accidentally rip a muscle or whatever.

I've been running a lot too, but I keep struggling to run quickly with long distances due to my child-like body. Building up cardiovascular endurance is going to be rough, but I'll condition myself into it.

As for muscles, I'm building up muscular strength and endurance. I can do a plank for a good half minute at most (in ErT terms) if I really push myself, which is impressive for my age. Or not if you account for how this world works, depends on how you want to see it. The number of push ups and sit ups I can do is ever-increasing; I reached about 25 and 30 the other day, respectively. Impressive for only 3 years old… I think.

I'm aiming for being able to do, without too much stress/pain: a 5 minute plank, 100 push ups in 10 minutes, 100 sit ups in 10 minutes, 100 squats in 10 minutes, and a 10 km run a day (in under an hour NOW t). One Punch Man training routine has got to work here, and I don't think I'll even turn bald either.

I'll be fine. Right? Yeah.

As long as I get the dumm chakra working and-

Dear me, Hitori,

I saw a shinobi today.

I was on my way to the forest where I train in and I saw a shinobi. Dark brown hair, extremely tanned skin, and a green vest.

The whole bandage wrapping over clothes? Confirmed. F-ing. Shinobi. Civilians think that's a stupid fashion choice, and I have to agree.

Anyways, I couldn't train there due to his or her presence, so I spent the day running around Konoha instead. Noticed that the orphanage is a lot closer to the Hokage Mount than expected. Found the Academy while I was running near the Hokage Mount, actually. I was able to find a "secret" path up to the top of the sculpture while I ran back and forth. Wasn't able to climb it since I had to go back to the orphanage. Might consider climbing it whenever I find the chance.

I'm not learning as much as I would like in my classes.

The only things we're doing are learning to memorize katakana and hiragana, katakana focused mainly. No kanji yet. The people in the library are already teaching me twelve and thirteen stroke kanji (which I can actually memorize and read and write and speak surprisingly enough considering how I've only started about 3 weeks ago, likely caused from the frequency of the kanji's usage around here as the literally one existing language here), so you can imagine my frustration.

Very close to considering ditching these classes altogether to hang out at the library, but I don't want to seem too suspicious. The civilians there may report me to someone and them I'd have to explain the situation and might get in trouble, or worse, attract someone's unwanted interest. Like, um. Orochimaru. Because he probably has spies around here. Like… I dunno, Kabuto or someone else.

Or that other old dude in charge of ROOT. I don't remember much about him other than him having an eyepatch-like thing and eventually am arm full of Uchiha eyes.

...Guess I'm bearing with these classes for now, but it sucks. It really, really sucks.

I want a friend to hang out with, too. Life is boring. Thing is, none of the kids here are worth hanging out with. They're all - pardon my language - stupid little shits.

Can I just get enrolled in the Academy? Please?

Even better, make me genin. Give me missions. Give me money. Give me independence. Lemme move out of the orphanage.

I sigh again as I hear another kid as for a repeat over something he doesn't understand. Life is so mundane.

It's been raining lately. But it's still, like, late January. Or whatever the NOW equivalent version of that is. Spring is around the corner, unless it's already arrived. I haven't seen sight of snow at all, now that I think about it… Maybe because in the Land of Fire, it's too warm for it? I hope that's the case and not something else.

Regardless, rain means I need an umbrella to go outside to the library, and I can't train.

I do borrow an umbrella from one of the people at the orphanage (thanks a bunch, Miss I-forgot-your-name) to go to the library. She thinks I like going there for story time, to which I nodded because mhm yeah I go there not because I want to learn kanji and read books of course not I go there to listen to people read to me.

I'm a good child, haha. Of course. (Not.)

I "train" by playing or running around with the boys in the indoor courtyard to make up for the time lost from the rain. It's not very fun, but exercise is exercise. There's this one boy, Ni- or Shi- or whatever, who keeps trying to trip me, but other than that it's not as bad as I expected.

The girls in my room keep glaring at me. Not too sure why.

Ooooooh, maybe one of them has a crush on Ni- Shi- what's his name-

Nah. He's too ugly. His hair makes his head look like a beaver's tail.

...I may have asthma.

This is a self-diagnosis, so it may not be as accurate as I would like. The point is, though, there is a strong probability that I have asthma.

It's been about 4 months since I started training myself - so around early February now - and I can travel longer distances, sure, but I started to notice how I always find myself wheezing or short on breath very early on. I chalked it up to my child-like body, but after playing the Naruto world equivalent of Tag earlier today with some of the boys in the inside courtyard, I've come to notice other people don't have this problem, or don't struggle with it like I do.

If I do have asthma, that certainly has put a dent in my shinobi career.

Naomi had asthma too; it was the reason why she had to leave the US Air Force.

Asthma is defined as a chronic, life-long disease, meaning there's nothing you can do about it other than offer some help to get through it. Surprisingly enough, it's pretty common. I think about 8%, maybe a little more or less, of the population in the US has some degree of asthma. If you're born extremely healthy, you don't have to worry about it.

Naomi's asthma went away early in her childhood. It came back as moderate persistent asthma after a mission gone wrong. She was always short on breath after some vigorous exercise, and couldn't be deployed into a lot of areas due to potentially endangering her health and triggering an asthma attack.

I think Hitori may have mild persistent asthma. It's not as bad as Naomi's. It's still bad though. Might affect my activities, depending on the triggers. I'll have to rearrange my exercise so that I'm not always wheezing from a run or at risk of an asthma attack. It'll especially suck if I'm getting an asthma attack alone - without an inhaler to work with, I could be at risk of dying.

That's lame.

Add that to my ever-growing list of problems, why don't'cha.

THE RAIN HAS ENDED!

It's been a while. Mid-February now.

I'm going back to my forest to weep in joy today. Fuck you, Ni-Shi guy, for tripping me, you can't try tripping me anymore!

I'm on my way to learning more kanji. I can almost understand all the words in the more intermediate level texts in the public section of the library.

My training outdoors can continue.

YES!

I'm not too sure what happened, but I think my roommates just tried to destroy my papers. Namely my journal.

It looks like they tried (and failed) to open the boxes. They are, after all, shut with tape. Where I got it from… I found it on the ground during one morning at breakfast. Someone just left it there, and combined with the fact I'm not a good person, I took it. Later I returned it to one of the staff members claiming to have just found it, because I don't like the idea of being a thief.

Not the point. Point is, they're targeting something extremely personal to me. What did I ever do to them to deserve this?

Other than, you know, what I'm already doing.

Life is complicated as a kid. Girls, we all hate confrontation, get it over with so we'll all move on living happier lives.

Hey, Hitori? Me? Um.

Pretty sure that's an ANBU in the shadow of the tree.

What the- no. Nope. Just pretend you don't see it. Yeah.

If they bring me to a… what's the clan name… Uh. If they bring me to a family member of Ino's I'm screwed over. I have made no attempts or success at dissociating the mind from the body, so if Ino's father or T&I tries to get intell off me, I'm basically screwed.

"Laissez-moi tranquille," (French: Leave me be.) I mutter under my breath. Please, I just want to train here.

A minute too late, I realize the mistake.

Whipping my head up to see the ANBU gone, my face instantly pales. Shit.

The ANBU caught me speaking. In Non-Common.

This is most definitely NOT an ideal circumstance to be in.

The Hokage had come to the orphanage to give an annual speech about the Will of Fire or some bullcrap.

I missed it while I was outside. There's a chance that nobody noticed the lack of my presence, too busy rounding up the other orphans or whatever, so I might be in the clear for sticking outside.

…At least it explains the ANBU.

Wait, did the ANBU even see me? Or hear me? Or heck, did they even think I was actually speaking something instead of mumbling random noises?

I should keep the possibility of that being true in mind, yeah, but if things worked out in my favor I should be able to keep training in the forest.

Fine. I'll stop lying to myself. High chance the Hokage may already know of my, ah, slip up. Reasonable chance he's decided to ignore it in favor of other problems, like hanging out with Naruto and dealing with papers.

I should avoid the Hokage and anyone closely associated with him like the plague until I sort things out. By that I mean until I reach the Academy. If I can find Naruto, might have a few words with him, but I'm not counting on getting close to him until I can cast a henge.

Speaking of which, where the fuck is Naruto?

I don't know where Naruto is, or how his life circumstances are currently.

Naruto, the main fricking character of the story titled Naruto, and I know nothing about him right now. Haven't even seen him around.

Shit, shit, shit. I've been too self-absorbed with myself to worry about him and-

Wait. What about other things? Like- like the Uchiha Massacre? The, um, what else was there that happens before the story officially starts - dammit, I can't think of anything in Konoha. I know there's something else, but I can't remember what.

I need to do something. I need to act before I regret my decision to do nothing.

Alright. Time to get organized.

I pull out another sheet of paper and the pen and a bottle of ink, and start writing a basic outline, in English.

*) Continue taijutsu. Begin tries to master chakra control + manipulation. Afterwards, sensory + med-nin training. Attempt ninjutsu. Ignore genjutsu. Try to get this all down this yr NOW.

1) Find Naruto main character and get to know more about how he's doing. DO NOT APPROACH IF WITH THE HOKAGE.

2) Stop Uchiha Massacre (occurs when Sasuke is ~8 yrs old NOW). Befriend a Uchiha in power, ex. Itachi (should be Genin by now) or Shisui or even Sasuke's father. Do whatever it takes to keep peace between clan + village. Maybe under 5 yrs NOW to make a change, so befriend a Uchiha within the current yr NOW.

3) Get into the Academy. Avoid Ino (can read body language and facial expressions), Shikamaru (too smart, smarter than you), Naruto (obvious reasons), and whoever else that could stir trouble, in that order. Sasuke=ok if not surrounded by fangirls. Sakura=ok if she's not a fangirl. Shino=ok to hang out with, but our personalities don't mesh well; stick with him for training. Choji (food), Kiba (dog), and Hinata (byakugan) will make good friends. Can afford to ignore everyone else.

4) Don't get caught with this. Use whatever dirty tricks that are necessary; a henge, a shadow clone, a not-yet-truth. Do whatever it takes.

I wait for the ink to dry before I put everything else away, leaving the list shoved inside my pants pocket. Seems like I have a lot of work ahead of me.

Someone at the library, one of the civilian volunteers, a female, gave me flowers. They look like they're nice flowers, too. She said someone left them for me, and wouldn't answer any of my questions regarding who. I'm peeved. Dunno what flower they are, but the point is, I got flowers from someone I don't even personally know.

This is disturbing.