The blue light in the darkness had disappeared suddenly and Hiccup climbed into the saddle. "This is it bud," he murmured while adjusting the small knife, jar of venom, inferno, and his helmet before urging Toothless to take off towards the glow ahead of them.

His head was tunneled towards the central hut where he was sure he'd find the hunters' records. When his eye caught the glittering blue scales of Stormfly his legs almost stopped. He slowed to give himself time and find Astrid's blonde hair in the firelight. Her soft grunts and exclamations as she fought down hunters reached his ears before his eyes landed on her frame in the distance. A warmth rushed through his chest and he felt relieved. She had made it, she had come to help. His legs began to pick up speed again and he wrenched his gaze back towards his goal. The perk of working alongside Astrid and Heather was undoubtedly clear, they could take care of themselves in the worst of times, and this was nothing close to their past skirmishes.

He fought past a couple guards at the large hut's entrance before stepping inside. A large table stood in the center, covered in an extensive map, several pages of notes strewn across it and off to the edges of the room several low-standing shelves were covered in leather-bound books. Hiccup rushed to the table and sifted through the loose leaf pages. Scribbles of dragon hunting grounds and auction details were the only pieces of information that Hiccup found while skimming across the neat handwriting. This wasn't too helpful, but he stuffed them in his pack anyway. He turned his attention towards the books. There were too many to go through, he needed to find the most current ones. Whatever business these hunters had in the last few months, even years, was enough of a starting point.

Ignoring the clashing sounds right outside the thin walls of the hut, Hiccup opened up several random books. Dates kept going farther into the past, so they must've been ordered left to right. He picked out a book on the top far right shelf and finally found some empty pages in the back. The latest entry was for yesterday's departing ship. Hiccup stuffed the book into his bag before grabbing a couple more for context, reference, and some history.

He left the hut full of excitement. This was working exactly as they hoped. Even better actually, now that Astrid was here. He let his heart fill with emotion now that he had the ledgers, the important task out of the way. She was incredible, her loyalty and unwavering support. He felt like the luckiest Viking in that moment and he allowed that feeling to propel him through the rest of their fight in that camp.

It turns out Astrid didn't come out here to help him, she was only here to yell at him for being a bad chief and letting Berk down. When he heard there was an attack on Berk, it stopped his breath until she gave more details. Everything was fine, she made sure that Berk was held, she kept it strong. He should have been there, but what was the point of having trusted advisors and his most trusted partner in battle looking after the village if he couldn't rely on them in his absence?

Bitterness swept through him. "Why have you taken it upon yourself to lecture me?" he scoffed, doing his best not to roll his eyes. She was already furious at him, he didn't need to make it any worse. But it would have been completely warranted. She didn't need to tell him any of this, about priorities, about how to be a damn chief. What did she know? Was she there late at night when his dad poured over maps and plans to find the dragon's nest? Did she overhear Stoick whispering urgently to Gobber and other village leaders about food shortages in the middle of winter? She didn't have to watch his dad come home over and over with slouched shoulders and deep lines of worry on his face. It was a tired that his dad only allowed on his face in the privacy of their home. It was a tired that Hiccup never understood as a young child, but he would try to cheer his dad up on those occasions. Most of the time it seemed to work. However, it became more difficult over the years as their communication deteriorated.

Astrid couldn't stop focusing on his failures long enough to reflect on their successful night. He used to count on her to be the firecracker after a mission, going over the details with him, on how they were incredible and how they could improve. She used to enjoy winning and gloating with that unique confident air about her. The guilt from earlier found its way back in his stomach and he sighed deeply.

"You're not your father, Hiccup, but you learned all the best important lessons about being a good leader from him."

His heart lurched and Hiccup had to swallow against the stone in his throat. Did he really? He felt like he barely learned the basics. There was so much more to discover and he never though he'd have to walk that journey without Stoick guiding him.

Hiccup shook his head. "He wasn't done teaching me," his voice cracked. There was so much Stoick had waiting for him, retirement, Hiccup's family, lazy flights with Skullcrusher, reviving his marriage… he wasn't done with anything. "He just found my mom again," he whispered, and Astrid ventured closer, resting a frozen hand on his arm. It was the first time she had touched him since she arrived and he tried to bask in it for a second, but there was no comfort there, only clammy skin. It finally unraveled his composure. "It was too fast," he finally wept, moving away from Astrid's touch to face her. It was stupid, but he never saw it coming. He never gave himself time to think about a world, his life, without his dad in it. "So many times, someone calls me chief and I don't turn around. It doesn't fit me Astrid."

"You'll get used to it," she tried to protest.

"No," he pressed his palms into his eyes, frustrated. She wasn't listening. "When I'm at the head of the fire pit and everyone's looking at me, I keep wanting to turn around and look for him. Like I can't believe they are looking to me for all their answers. And then I go home? It's so quiet and dusty and almost like the color was wiped away in there."

"…Hiccup," Astrid reached out her arm, but he coiled away not ready for how empty it would feel. She pulled back and held her arms to her chest. The muscles in her neck had stopped straining and she had let her shoulders slouch. Nothing about her was hard and fiery anymore. She seemed to have retreated from the fight, so Hiccup tested the waters.

"I miss him, so much," he finally dared to confide, looking at her with dull watery eyes. "I just want to forget, sometimes."

"Forgetting won't make you feel any better," Astrid insisted earnestly. Deep down he knew that he had allowed his anger to blow his thoughts out of proportion. She was here to help, like she always was, and he was being a prick, stubborn and immature. "Our lives are moving onward Hiccup, but we will always honor Stoick by remembering him, telling stories, and considering his wisdom." Hiccup felt more tears stream down his numb cheeks. "…I know I will," she added softly.

Tired muscles finally brought Hiccup to sit down on the damp grass. He brought his knees up to his chin and Toothless padded over to wrap around him. The warmth was immediately welcomed and he sighed, wiping away drying sticky streaks on his face. "It's hard," he admitted. Astrid sat in front of him, giving him an arm's distance of space. "I keep wanting things to shift back to normal, but how can I get there when what used to be normal was having my dad around." His fingers absently picked blades of grass in front of his foot. "Astrid, there was so much I wished I got to tell him. There was so much I hoped for him to see, like Berk growing and becoming a dragon utopia, people finally living peacefully with dragons. He was so excited about bringing you into our family… Now I just have to forget about that hope? It hurts and it's not easy."

The familiar beating of wings above caught both of their attention. Windshear was approaching them, but she stalled, hovering above their heads. "It's done you guys," Heather reported from Windshear's back. "I'm going to go to find Windshear some sea slugs and let her rest. Over in my camp," she emphasized, obviously wanting to give the two of them some space.

"Thanks Heather," Astrid replied with a grateful wave. "I'll come join you for a nap soon," she promised before turning back to Hiccup who hadn't looked away from the grass. "Hiccup," she tried after Heather had flown away. She ducked her head trying to get him to look at her. "I know it's not easy. It must be one of the hardest things you've ever done babe, but he would want you to find your place in the village as chief. He already trusted that you were ready for it. And you're—"

"It drives me crazy you know," he muttered. "The problem solving is one thing. I can be creative with those solutions, but the daily, monthly, annual up keep is tampering my soul. I have to care about chickens and feed, about irrigation and wood storage." He groans at his own words. "And I want to care," he exclaimed suddenly. "I want to honor my dad by doing the best job I can, but, every time I make a decision, I get a nagging feeling that my dad would've done it better." He thrusted his arms up, exasperated. "I haven't been able to get over that…that self-doubt," he shrugged, "He left his mark all over the village and I want to be a good enough replacement."

Astrid reached out her hand, waiting this time for him to do the same. Toothless perked his head up and warbled softly into Hiccup's shoulder. With a weary smile, Hiccup accepted her kindness and rested his hand in hers. "You're not a replacement Hiccup, you never were," she spoke frankly. "We know you're going to add your own Hiccup flair to being chief, and you have to believe me, everyone is behind you. We trust you and look to you for guidance because you've already proven yourself to be a good leader." Astrid scooted closer to him so that their knees were barely touching, as she tried to ignore how wet the seat of her leggings has become from the dewy grass. "You don't believe me?" she asked when Hiccup didn't make eye contact.

How did she have such immeasurable power over his own thoughts? She really was the only one on Berk with any sense, and he was going to need someone like her, no her, by his side if he was going to do a halfway decent job. He wondered what would've been different if his mom never left, and his dad had her council on decisions. It made him smile and his body surrendered to the exhaustion. "I believe you Astrid," he looked up as her, eyes beginning to brighten as he allowed her to talk him down, again. He couldn't keep putting her in this position. Lately she had become the one chasing him down to talk him into making good choices. She had more important things to do with her time. "I'm sorry, for everything," he squeezed her hand. "Thank you. Sometimes I don't know what I possibly did to deserve you in my life," he chuckled. Warm morning light hit his face and the night's chill began to melt.

"You're pretty amazing Hiccup. You don't always let yourself see it, but I've always seen it. And I'll always be here to help remind you. More so now," she perked up. "Valka promoted me to general, with an actual title." Hiccup beamed at her. He knew his mom was a smart woman. "And you know you don't have to stop rescuing dragons," she smiled. "But just don't go off unannounced?"

"You're right," he shrugged sheepishly. Balancing Berk's problems and the hunter problem was possible. He saw that more clearly now. It felt more black and white before, when he fell into the temptation of avoiding his chiefly responsibilities.

"And I'll come with you. We'll make sure Berk is taken care of and we can go anywhere dragons need us."

Hiccup looked up at her face. Her wide encouraging smile filled him with love, leaving no more room for his earlier guilt. "I love you so much," he sighed with relief, pulling her into a hug. He pulled away enough to face her. "Let's do it, you and me."

Astrid frowned, but her eyes were still full of mirth. "Didn't you hear anything I said?" she hit his shoulder and he feigned pain. "It's you, me, and everyone on Berk," she corrected.

"C'mere you," he leaned in, holding her chin gently as his lips touched hers. "So, about that nap? Were you serious or just trying to get rid of Heather earlier?" he joked.

"Let's go. I could sleep for three days," she stood and pulled him up beside her. Hiccup held her hand, warming her cold fingers, and led her to where Heather's camp was set up further west, through the woods.

AN: Thanks for reading this story in its entirety. It was fun to write, despite haunting me in my moments of procrastination.

Let me know what you thought of it, thanks!